Hearts as One

(Open POV)

Space…

Clara is breathing heavily in her spacesuit, "Doctor! Jared! Doctor! Jared!"

"Yes, you're the very next thing on the list." The Doctor said, his voice coming out of the suit's speaker.

Bits explode in the TARDIS.

"Doctor, Jared, help me!" Clara cried.

Clara is floating untethered in deep space.

"Clara, I'm under attack from four and a bit battle fleets…" The Doctor said.

(Jared's POV)

TARDIS / Space / Witch's Labyrinth…

"…in case you think I'm slacking." The Doctor said.

"And I'm taking down Familiars while Tsuruno and Felicia are fighting the Witch." I said, shooting out ghost rays out of my hands.

"Doctor, Jared, I think there's something in my space suit." Clara said, sadly.

"Clara could have been in the spider mines for too long. Yep yep." Tsuruno said, telepathically.

"Tsuruno says you were in the spider mines for too long." I said, shooting a ghost ray at a Familiar.

"Okay, explain?" Clara asked.

"It's possibly a Love Sprite. Sucks your brain…" The Doctor said, making an explosion sound. "…sucks your brain out through your mouth, hence the name."

"It's halfway up my leg." Clara said.

"Argh!" Felicia said, getting knocked back by a Familiar nearby. "I think it's hungry."

"That could be the case." I said, while Tsuruno and Felicia are still fighting the Witch. "Felicia thinks the Love Sprite is hungry."

"Jared…" Clara said, frowning.

"Describe the four most interesting stars you can see." The Doctor said.

"There's a blue one, quite big. Two little yellowish ones just below." 

"Colour of whisky, smaller one blinking?"

"Yes! It's on the back of my neck, I can feel it."

"Great! I thought asphyxiation would kill you first. Can you see a nebula? Can you see a nebula in a sort of wing-shape? Bit green at the end?" The Doctor asked.

"Yes! Yes, I can." Clara said.

"Great, I've seen it too. I wondered where it was." The Doctor said.

The TARDIS dematerialises.

"Doctor! Jared! Doctor! Jared!" Clara said, terrified.

TARDIS…

And the Doctor, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I re-materialises around Clara as the Doctor pulls off the teacher's helmet.

"YAAAAHHHHH!" Felicia said, stomping on the Love Sprite repeatedly. 

Clara coughs, "How did we do?"

"Oh, not a word about my spot-on materialisation skills." The Doctor said.

"And my spot on luring skills." I said, happily.

"What about all the Velosians? Are they safe?" Clara asked.

"What's that? Oh, yeah. They're safe." I said, smiling. "I lured their attackers halfway across the universe into a Witch's labyrinth. The Velosians' attackers had no weapons to take out the Witch or the Familiars."

"That in turn drained their weapons banks. Not to mention, I also saved two Magical Girls and a superhero from being killed by a Witch. Along with saving a school teacher from having her brains devoured and being asphyxiated in deep space. So, now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go outside and wipe my boot on the grass." The Doctor said.

Forest…

Night. The crickets are chirping.

"Um, what about the attackers re-arming themselves and trying again?" Tsuruno asked.

"Nothing. But the Velosians will be ready for them this time. It's the best I could do, Tsuruno. I'm not actually the police, that's just what it says on the box." The Doctor said.

"You and Jared are always talking about what you can and can't do but the two of you never tell me the rules." Clara said.

"We're time travellers. We tread softly. It's okay to make ripples, but not tidal waves." The Doctor said.

"Doctor, you and Jared are tidal waves." Clara said.

"Don't say that, Clara." I said, smiling. "Just because I like jumping along various time periods doesn't mean I make tidal waves. Unless it is vital to the plot of what is happening."

Swords are drawn and placed against our throats. Flaming torches come into view.

"Doctor? Jared?" Clara asked, looking between the Doctor and I.

"No, no, not Vikings. I'm not in the mood for Vikings." The Doctor said, annoyed.

The raiding party leader, a red-haired man with the biggest horns on his helmet, is the one called Nollarr and some of his men actually have bull horns on their helmets.

"Same. Babysitting Tsuruno and Felicia is hard enough." I said, clutching the strap of my sling bag.

"You're coming with us." Nollarr said.

"No, I'm not. Do you want to know why?" The Doctor asked, and the Vikings make angry noises. "On my face, right now, more advanced technology than your species will manage over the next nine million years."

Nollarr snatches the sunglasses off the Doctor's face and snaps them in two. They fall to the ground, sparking.

"Clara? Jared? Tsuruno? Felicia?" The Doctor asked.

"Yeah?" Clara asked.

"Huh?" Felicia asked.

"We're going with the Vikings." The Doctor said, letting out a sigh.

Village…

Played by Cosmeston Mediaeval Village, Penarth. A longship has beached in a small cove near a settlement of wooden framed low buildings with big thatched roofs. A very large metal horn is sounded and the villagers greet their returning heroes. The Doctor, Clara, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I are in manacles. A girl in boy's clothes runs up. The Viking raid leader is wearing half the sonic sunglasses like an eyepatch.

"You're back! All of you! Are all of you back?" Ashildr asked.

"I suppose so, I haven't counted." Nollarr said.

"I'm back!" Hasten yelled.

Another unnamed-in-the-broadcast-but-listed-in-the-cast younger Viking hugs the girl.

"I had a dream you'd all died. It was so real, I thought I'd made it happen." Ashildr said.

"Well, if it ever does, I'm sure you'll a find some way to blame yourself." Nollarr said.

The Chieftain throws the sunglasses to Ashildr.

"I wish none of you had to go!" Ashildr said, worried.

"Tsuruno, Felicia." I said, telepathically. "Don't worry. I have Grief Seeds in reserve for you both."

"How?" Tsuruno asked, telepathically.

"The TARDIS."

"How does she even produce Grief Seeds?" Felicia asked, telepathically.

"She just does." I said, telepathically. "She cares about you."

"Argh! Can you stop being really confusing?"

"Nope."

We walk past Ashildr. The Doctor stops briefly and stares at her, then the warriors move us on.

"Doctor? You all right? Do you know her?" Clara asked.

"Never seen her before in my life." The Doctor said.

"Okay, so, why are you staring?"

"I don't know. Nothing, probably. Too much time travel, it happens."

"What happens?" 

"People talk about premonition as if it's something strange. Like with Jared's visions. It's not. It's just remembering in the wrong direction." The Doctor said.

"Okay, plan." Clara said.

"We meet the boss man and we do the usual." 

"Which is?"

"Replace him."

"Like how Madoka Kaname overwrote the law Kyubey created in one universe." I said, sadly. "And in another universe, Ui, Touka, and Nemo replaced Kyubey by splitting its power amongst themselves."

"Father…" Nollarr said.

The Vikings greet the white-bearded village Elder, and we talk under the dialogue.

"How?" Clara asked.

"To the primitive mind, advanced technology can seem like magic." The Doctor said.

"And on Asgard, magic and science can be one of the same." I said, happily.

"Doctor, are you going to do the yo-yo trick again?" Tsuruno asked.

"Yeah. It's in my pocket somewhere." The Doctor said.

"We have travelled far and fought…" Nollarr said.

The Doctor holds up his manacles, that are no longer securing him, and the yellow yo-yo. I held up my manacles, that are no longer securing me, and I clutched the strap of my sling bag. I let out an electrical shock out of my body to free Tsuruno and Felicia from their manacles.

"How did you do that?!" Felicia exclaimed, looking between the Doctor and I.

"Magic." The Doctor said, smirking.

"Ghost powers." I said, happily. 

"Miracle, and much treasure." Nollarr said.

The Doctor throws his manacles in the air, and they hit the old man in the chest. Swords and axes are drawn.

"How dare you attack our Chieftain!" Nollarr yelled.

"I am very, very cross with you. I am very disappointed. I have taken human form to walk among you." The Doctor said.

"Who are you, old man?"

"Do you not recognise the sign of Odin?" The Doctor asked, unleashing his yo-yo.

"You are not Odin, and that is not Odin's sign." Nollarr said.

"Oh, and you would know that how, exactly? Have you met Odin? Do you know what Odin looks like?" The Doctor asked.

There is a thunderclap and the sound of a horn. 

"I've met the real Odin of Asgard. He's a nice guy." I said, smiling. 

A giant face appears in the clouds in the sky wearing a winged helmet and a Virtual Reality eyepiece.

"Oh, my people. I am Odin. And now your day of reward has finally dawned." Odin said.

"Do not believe this foolish trickery!" The Doctor said, while his yo-yo fails to reel itself back up its string. "It's supposed to do that."

"Your mightiest warriors will feast with me tonight in the halls of Valhalla." Odin said.

Rays of light teleport down five large beings covered in armour, They have alien guns. The Doctor, Clara, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I back away quietly while the Vikings move forward, and the aliens stomp to meet them.

"Stay still. Stay very, very still." The Doctor said.

"That's not really Odin, is it?" Clara asked.

"Nope. The real Odin is in Norway. And Loki is taking his place at Asgard." I said, looking down at the ground. 

"Norway? What is Odin doing in Norway?" Tsuruno asked.

"I'll tell you later."

"Of course you won't. This fake Odin. He hasn't even got a yo-yo." The Doctor said.

"This is an invasion. Yep yep." Tsuruno said.

"Shh. No, this is a harvest. The strongest, the fittest. The weak and young, they'll leave behind." The Doctor said.

An alien warrior scans a group, then knocks down the village blacksmith, who comes up with a green outline instead of red. Then a batch of fighters are teleported away.

"We have to help them." Clara said.

"We do." Tsuruno said, determined.

"No. We don't." I said, letting out a sigh. "We can't be chosen."

Clara and Tsuruno run over to Ashildr.

"Clara. Clara, no!" The Doctor said, terrified.

"Tsuruno, no!" I said, worried.

"Do you still have the eyepatch thingy?" Tsuruno asked.

"Clara. Tsuruno." I said, looking between Clara and Tsuruno.

"Point it at my chains and think the word open. Say it with your mind." Clara said.

As Ashildr does so, more groups are teleported, then the aliens turn towards Clara, Ashildr, and Tsuruno and register the technology.

"Clara! Clara!" The Doctor cried.

An alien points his 'gun' at the women, there is a bang and Clara's shackles fall to the ground, empty. 

"Tsuruno…" I said, clutching the strap of my sling bag.

Then the aliens teleport themselves away and the face in the sky disappears.

(Open POV)

Spaceship…

Fluorescent lights flicker on. Ashildr, Clara, and Tsuruno are greeted by one of the younger Vikings.

"Welcome to Valhalla, my ladies." Hasten said.

Nollarr forces the door open with his axe. At the end of a short passage with circular fans running along the walls is another door. He walks towards it.

"No! Stop! Wait!" Tsuruno cried.

"There's nothing to fear, strange maiden." Nollarr said.

Fan blades begin to turn very quickly.

"We are Odin's chosen." Nollarr said, caught by energy discharges in the passage, from the fans and disappears. 

Just Nollarr's helmet and axe are left behind. Machinery thuds as if cogs are moving into position, then the wall behind them begins to move forward.

"The wall, it moves!" Hasten said, terrified.

"Odin! Odin!" Ashildr said, angrily.

"Use your blades, try to jam it!" Clara yelled.

While the men try this futile exercise, Clara grabs Ashildr and Tsuruno and they run for the other door.

"Come on! Come on!" Clara said, and they made it, and tried to prise the door open. "Quick! Pull!"

"I'm trying!" Ashildr said, worried.

"Quickly!" Clara said, while the Vikings are finally forced into the passage, and the fans start turning again.

Village…

The Doctor is admiring a finely carved dragon figurehead. Jared is busy playing a farming simulator game with Felicia.

"They took half the village." Lofty said, annoyed.

A man with his long blond beard in two plaits, who the Doctor will give this stupid name to later, speaks.

"Yeah, and it was the good half." Heidi said, annoyed.

"They went willingly to Valhalla as would we all." Einarr said.

"I wouldn't. Well, I wouldn't. I'm not good with heights." 

"What's wrong with them?" Felicia asked, telepathically.

"I don't know." Jared said, telepathically. "This could take a while."

"Yes, I am a false Odin. That's exactly right, I lied. The big fella in the sky, he lied too. You all know it. Because what's the one thing that gods never do? Gods never actually show up! Guess what? You got raided. Guess what else? I lost someone who matters to me and Jared. And Felicia here lost someone who matters to her." The Doctor said.

"So did I." Einarr said.

Spaceship…

A processing plant area of some kind. Vials are being filled with green liquid.

"Ssh!" Clara said, worried.

The warrior's helmets and weapons are in a pile on the floor..

"Why are we still alive?" Tsuruno asked. "You could have killed us at any time. Yep yep."

"Because of this." Odin said, holding the half of the sonic sunglasses carefully by an earpiece. "Explain."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you afraid." Clara said.

"I have no reason to fear you." Odin said.

"Except you've already analysed that and you know it's a technology from a civilisation vastly more powerful than your own. And er, you will have also noticed that I'm wearing a space suit. So, me and my friend are not from around here, and it's highly unlikely we will have come alone. You see, you haven't killed us because killing us would start a fight you didn't come here to have, and you're not sure you can win." Clara said, as an armoured alien stomps past her and Tsuruno and hands Odin a vial.

"Oh. Is that your medication? Is it time?" Tsuruno asked.

"Adrenaline. Testosterone extracted from the finest warriors." Odin said, drinking it. "Ah! Nectar."

Odin gives the empty vial back to the alien.

"Okay, you mash up Vikings to make warrior juice, nice." Clara said.

"They what?" Ashildr asked.

"Why are you playing God?" Tsuruno asked, tilting her head.

"What is a god but the cattle's name for farmer? What is heaven but the gilded door of the abattoir?" Odin asked.

"Um, you're not a farmer. You're a thief that was caught in the at."

"I don't understand. Mashed up? What are you saying?" Ashildr asked, looking over at Clara.

"Hush. Go, now. Go and find Vikings on other planets. The universe is full of testosterone. Trust me, it's unbearable. We won't follow you, see? We don't need to fight." Clara said.

"War is our way." Odin said.

"Ask yourself, is this a war you really want?"

"Yes! You'll pay for what you have done here today. I am a Viking. Ashildr, daughter of Einarr. You have mocked our gods. Killed our warriors. And we will crush you on the field of battle." Ashildr said.

"That's better!" Odin cheered.

"We were about to leave." Clara said.

"Yeah. We were." Tsuruno said, sadly.

"You almost had me talking. Talk is for cowards." Odin said, smirking.

"No, no, no, listen to me and Tsuruno." Clara said, frowning.

"I accept your challenge."

"We will crush you!" Ashildr yelled.

"Oh. Please. Ashildr. Can you be quiet?" Tsuruno asked.

"Shall we say this time tomorrow? Ten of my warriors versus the best of your village." Odin said.

"You will beg for mercy!" Ashildr said, angrily.

"I will send you back. You can inform your people of their impending destruction." Odin said, laughing.

"Why are you doing this?" Clara asked.

"Why else? The joy of war! Can't you see it on my face?" Odin asked, pressing a button on his bracer, and the humanoid face disappears to reveal something else.

(Jared's POV)

Village…

Clara, Ashildr, and Tsuruno are teleported back while the Doctor is doing some reading and I am still playing mobile games with Felicia.

"Clara?" I asked, looking up from my phone. "Tsuruno?"

"My child!" Einarr cheered.

"Clara! Clara! Clara!" The Doctor cheered, running over with me then just sticks out his upraised thumb. "I'm not a hugger. Ahh! Let's do a group hug!"

The Doctor lifts Clara and I off our feet. Felicia tackled Tsuruno onto the floor for a hug.

"No!" Clara said, worried.

"Where are the others?" Einarr asked.

"I'm sorry, Father." Ashildr said, sadly.

"Do you know what is going to happen?" Tsuruno asked, telepathically.

"Yup. Something bad is going to happen." I said, telepathically.

"How bad?" Felicia asked, telepathically.

"Very bad. But it all works out. Even if the Mire is the deadliest warrior race in the galaxy."

"They are one of the deadliest warrior races in the entire galaxy…" The Doctor said.

"Okay." Tsuruno said, happily.

"But they're practical. They get what they want and go. Clara, you and Tsuruno persuaded them to go, didn't you? I knew that the two of you would." The Doctor said, looking between Clara and Tsuruno.

"Uh… did you and Jared say the deadliest warrior race in the galaxy?" Felicia asked.

"One of them, yes. Why?" The Doctor asked.

"Because I think this village just declared war on them." Clara said, frowning. "Jared, you knew, didn't you? Me ending up on that ship with Tsuruno."

Meeting House…

Clara is out of her spacesuit at last. We are in a longhouse with a series of cartwheel chandlers holding candle stubs hanging the length of the roof. These are accessible from a gallery decorated with painted round wooden shields.

"From what I remember of this adventure, they're coming here tomorrow." I said, grabbing Tsuruno's hand. "Ten of them. They want to kill everyone in the village."

"Ashildr, is this true?" Einarr asked.

"It's my fault." Ashildr said, guiltily.

"Not every misfortune that befalls this village is down to you." Einarr said, looking over at me. "She thinks she brings us bad luck."

"Ashildr, you don't bring any bad luck. Promise." I said, clutching the strap of my sling bag. "You're fine. I trust you, completely."

A stocky man who gets named later by the Doctor remonstrates.

"We are about to be attacked by…" Limpy said.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes. With a whole day to spare! So leave! Hop it, take off! Into the woods, split up, hide. Hang about there for a week, come back home, make puddings and babies. That's basically what you do, isn't it?" The Doctor asked.

"We cannot leave this village." Einarr said.

"Yes, you can. Just pick a direction. Fly like a bird, run like a nose. That's probably a Viking saying, I haven't checked that." The Doctor said.

"No. We will fight!" Limpy yelled.

"Aye!" Everyone cheered.

"Really? Well, I don't know if you remember, but they actually took away all your fighters. So, what are you? Farmers, fishermen, web designers. Maybe not that last one." The Doctor said.

Einarr tosses a skin full of weapons onto the floor, "We are Vikings!"

I hear cheers from the crowd.

"Okay, tell me this. How many people here have actually held a sword in battle? By a show of hands? Mmm hmm. Yeah, baby." The Doctor said, raising his own hand. 

Clara raises hers too. Tsuruno raises her hand. Felicia raises her hand. The Doctor picks up a sword.

"The Mire are coming for each and every one of you." The Doctor said, throwing the sword down again. "So what you going to do? Raise crops at them?"

"If necessary." Limpy said.

"I think he was being sarcastic." Heidi said.

"The Doctor was being sarcastic." I said, laughing a lot.

 "We're not cowards. We do not run. A death in battle is a death with honour." Einarr said.

"Aye!" Everyone said, at the same time.

"Not a baby." I said, looking down at the ground.

A baby cries.

"Jared's right. Do babies die with honour?" The Doctor asked, closing his eyes and concentrates. "I am afraid, Mother. Hold me, Mother. I am afraid."

"The Doctor speaks baby." Tsuruno said, happily.

"Turn your face towards me, Mother, for you're, you're beautiful. And I will sing for you. I am afraid, but I will sing. Babies think that laughter is singing. Did you know that? I applaud your courage, but I deplore your stupidity. And I will mourn your deaths, which will be terrifying, painful, and without honour." The Doctor said, starting to leave with me, but Ashildr stops us.

"Come on, Tsuruno, Felicia. Back to the future. You two have witches to kill and I want to spend some time with sugar, spice, and everything nice." I said, smiling.

"Stay. Fake Odin, you and Jared could help us. I know the two of you could." Ashildr said, letting out a lot of tears.

"Ashildr, I told you to run. That's all the help you need. And that's all the help you're getting." The Doctor said, walking outside with me.

"He's not wrong. I may know what's going to happen, Ashildr. But that doesn't mean I'll help. I'm sorry." I said, looking back at Ashildr, before closing the door.

Village….

Clara, Tsuruno, and Felicia go to the Doctor and I.

"I know that the Earth is safe in the future. Me and my friends are there to protect it and humanity isn't in any true danger." I said, looking at Clara, Tsuruno, and Felicia. "In the grand calculus of the universe, their sacrifice, this one village, means far more than their deaths."

"Just one village?" Felicia asked, looking between the Doctor and I. "Argh! Why do you and the Doctor not care about what happens to them?"

"Suppose Jared and I saved it by some miracle. No TARDIS, no sonic, from me. And no foresight, no ghost powers, from Jared. Just one village defeats the Mire. What then? Word gets around. Earth becomes a target of strategic value, and the Mire come back. And God knows what else. Ripples into tidal waves until everybody dies." The Doctor said.

The baby is crying.

"What's it saying?" Clara asked.

"She. She's afraid. Babies sense danger. They have to." The Doctor said.

"Tell us." Clara said.

"Mother, I hear thunder. Mother, I hear shouting. You are my world, but I hear other worlds now. Beyond the unfolding of your smile, is there other kindness? I'm afraid. Will they be kind? The sky is crying now. Fire in the water. Fire in the water?" The Doctor asked.

The crying stops. 

Clara puts her hand on the Doctor's cheek, "Doctor, you just decided to stay. And Jared, you just decided to stay with your friends in tow. The baby stopped crying."

"Yeah. She did. Felicia, Tsuruno, wanna teach these Vikings how to fight?" I asked, looking between Tsuruno and Felicia. "You two can go all out with the training."

"Really?" Felicia asked.

"Yup. Felicia, you do hand to hand. Tsuruno, you do endurance."

Later, the remaining men are lined up. They are holding wooden staves and there are practise dummies nearby.

"Okay. When Tsuruno says move, you move, okay? When she says to jump, you say how high?" I asked, now wearing a tracksuit.

"Unless it's across a gap in a labyrinth." Tsuruno said, smiling. "That means you jump horizontally." 

Felicia spots a Viking raising his hand nearby. 

"What is it? Jared said your name was Lofty." Felicia said, annoyed.

"Sorry, my name's not actually Lofty, it's Bro…" Lofty said.

"Nope. Your name is Lofty. I only remember the names of my friends. Sorry." I said, looking at the Vikings. "You're Lofty from Bob the Builder." I looked over at the Viking with the bushy black beard. "You're Daphne. Named after the redhead from Scooby Doo." I looked at an old man in a too-large helmet. "You're Noggin the Nog, a British cartoon character. "You're ZZ Top, a band I met from Back to the Future." I finally looked at a bushy ginger beard and bald head. "And I don't know, you're, um, um, Heidi."

"Jared's right. Let's try this again. What is it, Lofty?" Tsuruno asked.

"Sorry, sirs, ma'ams, it's just, why aren't we practising with real swords?" Lofty asked.

"Felicia, mind telling them why the Vikings don't have their swords?" I asked, looking at Felicia.

The stocky man sitting is apart, tying a bandage around his knee.

"They can't be trusted with them." Felicia said, her eyes widening.

"That's right, yes. You'll be given your real swords back when you can prove that you can wave them around without lopping bits off yourselves. Heidi, why are your eyes closed?" The Doctor asked.

"Sorry, sir. Just not that good with the sight of blood." Heidi said, gesturing towards Limpy.

"Nope. Of course you're not. You haven't been to a crime scene before." I said, laughing a lot.

The women, except Tsuruno and Felicia, are watching from a safe distance.

"Swords against those creatures. That won't work, will it?" Ashildr asked.

"They're just warming up. They haven't got a plan yet. But they will have, and it will be spectacular." Clara said, smirking.

Finally the Doctor holds up his sword and whistles for attention.

"Enough theory. I'm handing out the real swords." The Doctor said.

I had Tsuruno make a call to my past self to let him know about what was to come as he was dealing with the murder of the confectionarist. 

"Did you do it?" I asked, telepathically.

"I did. Yep yep." Tsuruno said, telepathically.

"That's good. Now that is one less thing to worry about."

"Agh! This is so boring!" Felicia said, telepathically.

"You just want to go 'Bam!' and 'Aaaaargh!'" I said, telepathically.

"Yeah."

"Knew it."

Later, the village horn is being sounded and everyone is rushing around with buckets of water and a thatch is on fire.

"Well, that could have gone better." The Doctor said, sadly.

"Ya think?" I asked, sipping on some green tea.

Heidi groans and sits up.

"Good morning, Heidi." I said, drinking my green tea.

"What happened?" Heidi asked.

"'At the dawn of the universe, there was nothing, then boom. The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence'." I said, happily. "Too bad this situation has a huge sense of futility."

"More recently, Chuckles hit Lofty over the head, on his helmet, with his sword, which knocked him out. There was a little blood, which you saw…" Clara said, while Heidi faints. "…and did that. Only, the first time you did it, you knocked a torch onto some hay, which spooked a horse, who kicked open a gate, and er, I'm sure you can fill in the rest."

Later that night - the Vikings are inside the Meeting House preparing for battle by having a big feast.

The Doctor, Clara, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I are outside listening to booms in the sky. 

Clara has obtained a jerkin, probably from Ashildr, "Weird sounding thunder."

"That's not thunder. It's the weapon forges of the Mire. They're making sure we hear them." The Doctor said.

"Well? How is the training going?" Tsuruno asked.

"Not well…" I said, letting out a sigh.

"Well, Heidi faints at the mention of blood, not just the sight any more. He's actually upgraded his phobia. Chuckles…" The Doctor said, hands on his face.

"That being Einarr. Ashildr's dad." I said, clutching the strap of my sling bag.

"Yes. Him. He questions every single order you give him, which is going to be a little bit difficult, a little bit tricky, in the heat of battle."

"I keep waiting to hear what your real plan is with Jared." Clara said.

"The Doctor and I are teaching them how to fight. That's the only plan we've got. I'm used to my friends already knowing how to fight. Team RWBY, the SAO Survivors, LycoReco, the Puella Magi Holy Quintet, Team Mikazuki Villa, the KMR Triangle. And then some. This is completely new territory for me. Training Vikings how to fight. " I said, looking down at the floor.

"Turning them into fighters? That's not like you and the Doctor, Jared."

"Yeah. I know. The Doctor and I used to believe that too. I like fighting alongside my friends in battle. My friends know what they're doing. The Vikings don't."

"I know, Jared. I saw you doing well in a Witch hunt fighting alongside Tsuruno and Felicia, despite not being properly equipped to take down Witches or Familiars. What happened?"

"You and Jared, Clara. Oh, Clara Oswald, what have I made of you and Jared?" The Doctor asked, looking between Clara and I.

"Doctor, it doesn't matter how well you and Jared train them, it's not going to make a difference." Clara said.

"They'll die fighting with honour. To a Viking, that's all the difference in the world." The Doctor said.

"A good death? Is that the best they can hope for?"

"A good death is the best anyone can hope for, unless you happen to be immortal." The Doctor said.

"Like any Magical Girl that has made a contract with Kyubey or any Sailor Guardian." I said, looking between Tsuruno and Felicia who are playing mobile games together.

Ashildr leaves the Meeting House, "Sorry."

"No problem." Clara said, happily.

"It's no biggie, Ashildr." I said, smiling.

"Night." The Doctor said.

"Doctor, you and Jared have made an impact there." Clara said.

"Stop it." The Doctor said, annoyed.

"She's nice. Fight you for her."

"The human race, you're obsessed. You all need to get a hobby."

"I've got a hobby, thanks. It's you and Jared, by the way."

"Well, get a new one."

"Not this." Clara said, scoffing.

"What? Is not seeing the multiverse not enough?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"No. It is. It's just…"

"What's up?"

"Jared, whatever is going to happen tomorrow, can you prevent it? Can you stop it?"

"No. It needs to happen. I think it is a fixed point in time."

"Fair point." The Doctor said. "Tomorrow it's going to be a bloodbath."

"Don't even ask." Clara said, sadly.

"These people all died hundreds of years before you and Jared were born…" The Doctor said, looking between Clara and I.

"I'm not running."

"Clara, you have to run. Please. Oh, I know. Let's go see Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, together. That'll be fun." I said, taking out my phone from my sling bag.

"Jared, you can see them after this." Clara said, happily.

"Clara, go with Jared to see those superpowered girls. It is safer than here. I have a duty of care. To look after you and Jared, Clara." The Doctor said.

"No, you don't, Doctor, because I never asked for that. And Jared didn't ask for that."

"Every time we do something like this, I keep thinking, what if something happens to you and Jared?"

"Well, stop thinking about me and Jared, Doctor, and start thinking about them, because you and Jared are missing something."

"What?"

"How you and Jared are going to win. The two of you always miss it, right up until the last minute. So put down your sword, stop playing soldier, Doctor, and stop playing hero, Jared, and look for it. Start winning, Doctor, Jared. It's what you both are good at."

Ashildr's home…

Ashildr is challenging a shadow cast on a skin by candlelight, "So, we meet again, Fake Odin. Valhalla burns around you, your army is destroyed and now it is time for you to die!"

Ashildr attacks her model of Odin with a wooden stave. The Doctor stands in the doorway with me and clears his throat.

"How long have you and Jared been there?" Ashildr asked.

"Long enough." I said, looking at the model of Odin. "Doctor, look at that. There's a puppet! Ashildr, we love puppets!"

"I make puppets sometimes, when I'm…"

"Do you make them when you're scared?"

"No. When the raiding parties go out, I make up stories about their battles."

"So, like me. I write fanfiction about the adventures I have."

"Because if you make up the right story, then you think it will keep them safe and they'll all come home. That's okay. You're not the first person to ever have done that. And Jared's not even the first person to ever have done that either." The Doctor said.

"Why are you and Jared here?" Ashildr asked.

"We're looking for something we're missing. And Jared knows what we're missing. What do you think our chances are tomorrow?" The Doctor asked.

"We will be cut down like corn. By this time tomorrow, every single one of us will be dead."

"Yup." I said, picking up an illuminated bound book and handing it to the Doctor. "You're not wrong, Ashildr."

"You could go." The Doctor said, briefly leaving through the book.

"There's nowhere for me except here. This is my place. The sky, the hills, the sea, the people. Is there nowhere like that for you?" Ashildr asked.

"There was a place like that for me. But an immortal being destroyed that." I said, sadly. "It was on another world, that place was called Remnant. But a woman called Salem wiped out the country called Vale."

"What was Vale like?"

"It was beautiful. She was looking for something. It had a nice view. I loved getting this thing called boba with two friends of mine."

"Oh, Jared loved getting boba with Ruby and Yang. Even so, I like a nice view as much as anyone." The Doctor said.

"But? If Jared loves this boba thing, why is he talking about it like it is the past?" Ashildr asked.

"Because it is the past now." I said, frowning. "The Doctor can't wait for the next view. I, meanwhile, want to get back to that view of Beacon Academy."

"Fake Odin, I pity you." Ashildr said, disgusted.

"I will mourn for you. I know which I'd prefer." The Doctor said.

"You think they're all idiots, don't you?"

"What, you mean the rest of the universe? Basically, yes, I do."

"But they're kind and brave, and strong, and I love them." 

"Good. Good. But that won't save you." The Doctor said.

"I've always been different. All my life I've known that. The girls all thought I was a boy. The boys all said I was just a girl. My head is always full of stories. I know I'm strange. Everyone knows I'm strange. But here I'm loved. Fake Odin, you tell me to run to save my life. I tell you that leaving this place would be death itself." Ashildr said.

"That is how I felt about leaving Team RWBY and Remnant behind. I left that place behind and it was death itself…" I said, letting out a sigh. "I wish for the days where that immortal woman didn't destroy the place I considered home. That's why I fall back on its time to relive those days."

Ashildr's father enters, "I cannot keep you safe. I do not have the strength. But I will try to till the last beat of my heart."

The baby cries as Einarr hugs Ashildr.

"If you seek to mock me in this moment…" Einarr said, annoyed.

"No. No. No, you go ahead and you cry all you like. Speaking of crying, is that baby getting closer?" The Doctor asked.

Lofty walks through the village carrying the baby.

"Why has Lofty stolen a baby?" The Doctor asked.

"Doctor, he hasn't stolen a baby. That's his kid!" I chirped, leaning against the wall.

"Oh. Where's he taking her?" The Doctor asked.

"The boathouse. He takes her to the boathouse when she won't settle. She likes the fish." Ashildr said.

"Why would she? Fire in the water. Fire in the water. Fire in the Fire in the water. Fire in the water? Fire in the water! Jared, that explains why you brought Kyoko and Sayaka to the underwater base! It was a hint. To show off fire in the water! And you bringing Felicia and Tsuruno, it was to remind me of why I was fixated on Ashildr! To show the bond a child has with their parents. That's it. That's it. That's what we've been missing, Jared. Clara, I've found it!" The Doctor yelled.

The Doctor runs out with me.

"Finally!" I said, excitedly. "Took you long enough, Doctor! 

"Clara! Clara!" The Doctor said, angrily.

Boathouse…

The baby is crying and the water is lapping. For no obvious reason, these Vikings keep water here in large barrels.

"Lofty! I had no idea that was your baby. Hello, baby, I had no idea this was your junior parent." The Doctor said.

"I'm trying to settle her. She likes all the fish." Lofty said.

"Has the Doctor figured it out?" Tsuruno asked, telepathically.

Clara, Ashildr, Einarr, Tsuruno, and Felicia enter.

"Yup." I said, telepathically. "He really should pay attention as to who I bring on our adventures."

"Doctor. You're shouting. What's happened? Did you trap your finger in something again?" Clara asked.

"Chuckles, bedtime is cancelled. Everybody, off the hard stuff. We've got a long night's work ahead of us. I need a blacksmith. Who's the blacksmith?" The Doctor asked.

"I'm the blacksmith." Lofty said.

"You're the blacksmith and you've got a baby too? He's been at it, hammer and tongs." 

"Doctor, Jared, explain. What's happening?" Clara asked.

"There's going to be a war tomorrow. And here's some news, this just in. We're going to win the hell out of it." The Doctor said.

"How?" Clara asked.

"We will. I promise." I said, happily.

"Ashildr, this is your village, and you will never have to leave it, like Jared had to leave the city of Vale, I swear." The Doctor said, smugly.

"Seriously, how?" Clara asked.

"I told you that we were basically doomed. Did no one in this two-horn town think to mention that you had eels?" The Doctor asked.

"Eels?" Clara asked.

"I give you fire in the water!" The Doctor cheered.

Flashes of blue light in the barrels of water.

"Electric eels!" The Doctor said, while the baby cries. "Yes, yes! I know exactly how you feel. Well, not exactly. She needs changing."

"Plan, then?" Clara asked.

"And it is a doozy!" The Doctor said, smirking.

Blacksmith's forge…

A hive of activity.

"We need to pull that silvery stuff out of Clara's space suit. We can use it to magnify the electrical charge. Stop looking confused! Look happy! Winning is all about looking happier than the other guy. Always walk briskly. Makes you a moving target. Oh, that's for Lofty. Lofty!" The Doctor said, throwing something to Lofty. "And talk with confidence, even if you're terrified."

I am looking down at my iPhone 16 Pro Max, knowing what will happen next.

"Act as if you know their plan, and sometimes, if you're very lucky, they'll actually tell you it. Ah, this is for Ashildr." The Doctor said, handing Ashildr a blanket.

Later, the plan is being explained.

"Then we deploy the anvil. Now, at this stage, getting me one of their helmets is key. We get a helmet, and this is over. Then we can mop up the rest using Ashildr's monstrosity." The Doctor said.

Ashildr pulls on a rope to reveal something to the crowd.

"That is rubbish." Clara said, laughing a lot.

"I know." The Doctor said, grinning.

Meeting House…

Next day, the village appears deserted. Odin teleports down with his ten warriors. They stomp towards the meeting house and discover Lofty and Felicia playing horseshoes while the villagers are dancing. 

"Nice work, girls." I said, telepathically.

Once they enter, Tsuruno moves behind them and throws metal rings with copper wiring attached to them over the aerials sticking out of the Mire's backpack.

"Yep yep." Tsuruno said, telepathically.

"Hey, hello, hi! I'm the Doctor. It's lovely to meet you face to, er, convincing hologram. You could always go zzz and get rid of it, no? No, on second thoughts, don't. That, that, that suits you." The Doctor said.

"It is time to fight." Odin said.

"Nope. We're not fighting. We're having a party!" I said, excitedly.

The villagers cheer.

"Let me put it another way. You fight or you die." Odin said.

"We're unarmed. There isn't a single weapon in this room. Which I'm sure your systems are telling you. You wouldn't open fire on unarmed civilians, would you?" The Doctor asked.

"It wouldn't be the first time." Odin said.

A horseshoe hits a Mire's armour with a clang. The Mire all look up to a mesh of wires attached to the cartwheels of candle holders in the roof space.

"Tsuruno, now!" I yelled, looking at the brunette Magical Girl.

Tsuruno hits a barrel of eels. Electricity runs through wires from the boathouse to the Mire, and causes havoc.

"Run, run, run-run-run-run! That's four down, six left." The Doctor said.

"Go!" Odin said, angrily.

Mire stomp forward.

"Felicia, the other switch!" I chirped, holding my phone in my hand.

Felicia hits another barrel of electric eels and energises another set of wires. The Mire's weapons are attracted to the magnetised anvil in the roof, then their helmets. These are not pretty aliens, and they have over-large mouths filled with very long sharp teeth.

"Chuckles, off!" The Doctor said, worried.

Everything falls to the floor. The Doctor catches a helmet and Clara grabs a weapon.

"Don't move." Clara said.

"Go!" Odin said, terrified.

The Mire chase the villagers while the Doctor, Clara, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I hide, and he works on the helmet.

"How's it coming?" Clara asked.

"Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow. I bet that means something. It sounds great. Ashildr!" The Doctor said, while Ashildr sits in a large chair. "Are you ready?"

"I'm scared." Ashildr said, sadly.

"You were born for this. Show them a story they'll never forget." The Doctor said, putting a Mire helmet on Ashildr. 

Odin gasps as the main doors of the Meeting House fall in and a strong wind blows out the candles. They see a dragon-type boss from Sword Art Online, the Floor 91st boss, Dorz'l the Chaos Drake, coming at them, hissing.

"What is this beast? It's impossible!" Odin cried.

"Withdraw. Withdraw." The Mire said.

"Stand and fight!"

Dorz'l the Chaos Drake snaps at them. The Mire's weapons have no effect on it.

"Withdraw." The Mire said, transporting up.

"See how they run." The Doctor said.

"Withdraw." The Mire said, transporting up.

"Cowards!" Odin said, angrily.

"Withdraw." 

The Mire finish transporting back to the spaceship, leaving Odin alone.

"That's enough, Ashildr. Story's over. Happy ending." The Doctor said.

The Sword Art Online boss flickers in Odin's VR eyepiece out to reveal Ashildr's monstrosity, created with the longship dragon prow from earlier. Felicia stops blowing the village horn with a sound like a fart, then laughs. The Meeting House door is raised shut and other villagers surround Odin with swords, pointy end towards him.

"What trickery is this?" Odin asked.

"Now this is too good. Says the man with a fake face. You see? This is why games like Sword Art Online or Ordinal Scale were considered dangerous. Don't make death games." I said, holding my phone. "That's the trouble of viewing reality through technology sometimes. It is way too easy to make a new reality, especially for those living there or trapped there."

"You got it? Great." Clara said, looking over the video I recorded with my phone. 

"A story to save a town, and a puppet from a nightmare. You see, you've just seen the world through the eyes of a storyteller. The mighty armies of the Mire. Brutal, sadistic, undefeated. Even I believed the stories. But after today, no one will again. An army like yours, it lives or dies on its reputation, its story. And today, you were sent packing by a handful of farmers and fisherman. Not to mention the whole wetting your pants and running away from a puppet debacle." The Doctor said.

"See, that was really funny." Clara said, laughing a lot.

"That was hilarious. It's just lucky that nobody recorded that. Oh. Wait a minute, we did." The Doctor said, watching it on my phone.

"See, all it needed was the Benny Hill theme." Clara said, watching me place the Benny Hill theme onto the video I recorded on my phone.

"The Benny Hill theme, yes. Now, you see, we could just keep this as a funny little film and play it every year at the Christmas party, or I could upload it to the galactic hub and get a second opinion." The Doctor said.

"I could also extend it a bit. By letting one of my friends upload this to the dark web." I said, happily. "Walnut's their name. They're pretty good at helping me and other people I care about."

"Jared's right, our friend in the future has access to this video too. So the question you need to ask yourself is this. Just how important is your reputation to you? Here's a little sneak preview, piped straight into your helmets, free of charge." The Doctor said.

I pressed a big white virtual button on my phone screen. We watch Odin and his Mire backing away from the puppet, shouting in fear to a background of Yakety-Sax by Rich and Randolph.

"Wait! Cowards!" Odin cried.

"If you don't leave right now, I'll put it out there for all to see and no one will fear you again." The Doctor said.

"Or if you do leave, I can have Walnut remove excess traits of your humiliation off the web." I said, smiling.

"This humiliation will not go unpunished. We will meet again." Odin said.

The Doctor teleports Odin away, "Oh, I hacked your teleporter. Sorry."

Celebrations. The Mire spaceship appears in the sky and rockets away. Einarr goes to where Ashildr is still sitting in the chair, wearing the Mire helmet.

"You did it, Ashildr. You did it. You saved us all. Ashildr." Einarr said, happily.

Ashildr doesn't move. We all go quiet.

"Ashildr? Ashildr!" Einarr cried.

"Get the helmet off her. Get it off, now." Tsuruno said, looking over at Ashildr.

Einarr removes the helmet and drops it with a thud, "Ashildr?"

We lay Ashildr down on the floor.

"No pulse. I think. Doctor, Jared, is she dead?" Clara asked, looking between the Doctor and I.

"Shit. Now I know how Takina and Homura feel." I said, letting out a lot of tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm really terribly sorry." The Doctor said, guilty.

The Doctor and I ran out.

Boathouse…

Clara, Tsuruno, and Felicia find the Doctor and I here, with the Time Lord looking at his reflection in the barrels and I'm looking down at the ground.

"Heart failure, yeah?" Clara asked.

"Yup. Homura and Chisato both have heart conditions." I said, kicking my foot back and forth on the sand.

"I plugged her into the machine. Used her up like a battery." The Doctor said, letting out a sigh. "I'm so sick of losing."

"Tell me about it. Atlas falling into Mantle is one thing I regret to this day next to the Fall of Beacon." I said, clutching the strap of my sling bag. "Ashildr is the tip of the iceberg next to Danny Pink."

"Doctor, Jared, you didn't lose. The both of you saved the town." Clara said, sadly.

"I don't mean the war. I'll lose any war you and Jared like. Clara, Jared and I are sick of losing people. Clara, look at you, with your eyes, and your never giving up, and your anger, and your kindness." The Doctor said.

"Clara, you remind me of me when I first started traveling with the Doctor and seeing the universe out there." I said, happily. "It's why I still travel with him to see if I can regain what you have."

"Jared became what I am due to time, Clara." The Doctor said, frowning. "One day, Clara, the memory of that will hurt so much that I won't be able to breathe, and Jared and I will do what we always do. I'll get in my box as Jared will continue jumping across the multiverse and we'll run and we'll run, in case all the pain ever catches up. And every place we go, it will be there."

"Doctor, Jared, the two of you did your best. She died. There's nothing you both can do." Clara said.

"Jared and I can do anything. There's nothing we can't do. Nothing. But I'm not supposed to. Ripples, tidal waves, rules. I'm not supposed to. Oh. Oh!" The Doctor said, looking at his reflection in the water and sees what he saw in the mirror back in Deep Breath.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Tsuruno asked.

"What are you staring at?" Felicia asked.

"My face." The Doctor said, his eyes widening.

(Open POV)

Flashback…

"Who frowned me this face? Why this one? Why did I choose this face?" The Doctor asked.

(Jared's POV)

Boathouse…

"Doctor, what is wrong with your face?" Tsuruno asked.

"I think I know why I chose it." The Doctor said.

(Open POV)

Flashback…

"It's like I'm trying to tell myself something." The Doctor said.

(Jared's POV)

Boathouse…

 "I think I know what I'm trying to say." The Doctor said.

(Open POV)

Flashback…

"I know. But saving these people won't change anything. It won't." Jared said.

"Oh, hell, it will." Kyoko said, walking towards Jared. "Turn this ship around. You know you want to."

"Come on." Mami said, sipping her cup of tea. "For us."

"Just someone. Please. Not the whole town. Just save someone." Donna said, letting out some tears.

"Come with us." The Doctor and Jared said, the two holding out their hands.

A memory of Lobus Caecilus cowering as Vesuvius erupts in Fires of Pompeii. Played by Peter Capaldi, if you'd forgotten.

(Jared's POV)

Boathouse…

"I know where I got this face, and I know what it's for." The Doctor said.

"Okay. What is your face for?" Tsuruno asked.

"To remind me. To hold me to the mark. Jared, you bring your friends along to remind you and to hold you to the mark. I'm the Doctor, and I save people like you do, Jared." The Doctor said, shouting at the sky - the Time Lords. "And if anyone happens to be listening, and you've got any kind of a problem with that, to hell with you!"

Meeting House…

Ashildr is laid out on furs on a bier as the Doctor tosses small components out of the Mire helmet.

"What's he doing?" Einarr asked.

"Saving her, I think." Clara said.

"He totally is." I said, happily.

Whirr of sonics, then the Doctor holds out a small SIM-type device.

"It's from the Mire helmet. Battlefield medical kit. I've reprogrammed it for human beings." The Doctor said, placing it on Ashildr's forehead and it gets absorbed into her.

"The chip. It's gone. It's inside her." Felicia said, in awe.

"It's repairing her. It will never stop repairing her, if it works. Come on, Ashildr. Come on. The story's not over yet." The Doctor said.

"Daughter, listen to me. This town has lost so much. If we lose you too there'll be nothing left." Einarr said, weeping and stroking Ashildr's hair.

Nothing for a long pause, then Ashildr gasps and opens her eyes briefly.

"Ashildr!" Einarr cheered.

"She'll be conscious in a day, up and about in three. No swimming for a week. Now, we're going to need a longboat and some of your best rowers. We're two days' sail from the TARDIS. Come on, Clara, Jared, Tsuruno, Felicia." The Doctor said.

"Wait, no. She'll want to see your and Jared when she wakes." Einarr said.

"Oh, no. Well, she'll, she'll see me and Jared often enough once she understands." The Doctor said.

"Yup. She'll see me more than the Doctor. Especially with the time periods I frequent." I said, smiling.

"Understands what?" Einarr asked, looking between the Doctor and I. "What do you mean she'll see you more than him?"

"Second dose." The Doctor said, throwing another SIM card to Einarr.

"Will she need to take this?" Einarr asked.

"No, no, no, it's not for her." The Doctor said.

"Then who's it for?" Clara asked.

"It's for whoever she wants." I said, clutching the strap of my sling bag.

"Doctor, Jared, thank you." Ashildr said, looking between the Doctor and I.

"Don't mention it, Ashildr." 

"Oh, don't thank me and Jared yet, Ashildr. Not yet." The Doctor said, smugly.

The Doctor, Clara, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I leave.

Forest…

Walking towards the TARDIS.

"Okay, it's official. Silence is even worse in a Scottish accent. And Jared, I know you're having a telepathic conversation with Tsuruno and Felicia. You can't hide that from me. Are you and Jared going to tell me what you're brooding about?" Clara asked.

"It won't stop, the repair kit I put inside Ashildr, not ever. It'll just keep fixing her." The Doctor said.

"Well, good." Clara said.

"I'm not sure, but it's entirely possible she has lost the ability to die." 

"The ability?" Clara asked.

"Oh, dying is an ability, believe me. Barring accidents, she may now be functionally immortal." The Doctor said, unlocking the TARDIS.

"Yeah. Ashildr is functionally immortal like a Magical Girl." I said, sadly. "She's like the Puella Magi Holy Quintet, Team Mikazuki Villa, and the KMR Triangle."

"Yep yep." Tsuruno said, frowning.

"Haaaaaahhh!" Felicia yelled, slamming her fist against the TARDIS.

The Doctor unlocks the TARDIS.

"Felicia's anger is understandable. If the repair kit never stops working, then, Doctor, why did you give her two?" Clara asked.

"Immortality isn't living forever. That's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe." The Doctor said.

TARDIS…

"I was angry. I was emotional. I was like how Jared was when he thought he lost Team RWBY. Just possibly, I have made a terrible mistake. Maybe even a tidal wave." The Doctor said.

The TARDIS dematerialises.

"Time will tell, it always does." The Doctor said.

"Doctor, whatever you did for Ashildr, I think she deserved it." Clara said.

"Yes. Yes, she did. But Ashildr isn't just human any more. She's the equivalent of a Magical Girl that made a contract with an Incubator. There's a little piece of alien inside her, so in a way, she's. In a way, she's a hybrid." The Doctor said.

After that allusion to the concept introduced in The Witch's Familiar, there is a representation of Ashildr standing against the passing of more time than a normal human would experience without ageing. Days, seasons, years. She stops smiling and becomes stern.