Head In The Stars

When the day came to an end, and both Aron and Kai had left, I woke the groggy Millie and cajoled her into taking a shower at the station. It's nothing fancy, but it's clean and it gets the job done.

Growing up I never cared much about cleanliness and got annoyed when my mother would needle me on it, yet now that I'm an adult, I can't stand going longer than twenty-four hours without a shower and a change of clothes.

I guess we really do become our parents.

After our showers, I cooked up a simple meal in the kitchen which we ate, as usual, at the office dining table. Millie had wanted to eat in my van, but I'd held firm. She didn't know the pain of cleaning crumbs out from all the cracks.

"It's so squishy!" Millie shouted as she half bounced, half rolled on the foam mattress in the van.

"Careful you don't bounce out the window," I said as I grabbed another blanket and pillow from a box I kept stashed behind the passenger seat.

I hadn't told her about the trespassers, but she seemed excited enough by the prospect of sleeping in a van that she didn't question it.

"Think you'll be warm enough? Do you want another blanket?"

Millie rolled herself into a blanket dumpling.

"I am o-kay!"

I gave a bemused sighed and got in the van too, sliding the door shut behind me. I rescue a portion of my blanket and drape it over my shoulders.

"Alright, I'm turning off the lights then." There were fairy-lights strung up along the windows of the van. They didn't give out a lot of light, but it was enough as long as you weren't reading or doing anything serious.

"Aye-aye!"

I flicked the switch, and the van dropped into blackness.

"I can't see anything," Millie immediately proclaimed. Neither could I though that was kind of the point.

"Your eyes will get used to it after a while," I said.

With the light now gone the sounds of the forest outside seemed to grow louder. I was used to it but what about Millie?

"Is this like your bed back home at all?" I asked. It was a risky question, but I thought I'd try anyway.

Not that it mattered. Millie didn't reply.

Was she asleep already? I thought the nap earlier would make it harder for her to sleep now, but perhaps not.

"Can you keep a secret?" came Millie's voice of the darkness. It had that distant tone in it.

"Maybe," I said honestly. Honesty seemed like the best policy when it came to this little girl, and I didn't like lying either.

"I don't remember," said Millie.

"Don't remember what?"

"My bed. My home."

I turned my head. I could just make out the reflective spark in her eyes. Was she telling me the truth, or was this another story? No, I decided to wave that thought away. If it was a story, she had her own reasons for it, but if it wasn't...

Either way, she was lost and alone and I knew what that felt like.

I reached over her and pulled back the curtain covering the window, exposing a rectangle of dark sky outside.

"Can you see the stars?" I asked.

I heard Millie scramble up then saw her silhouette against the window as she peered out.

"Wow... Why are there so many?" she breathed.

"Stars are so far away that by the time their light reaches us it's weaker than the light we have here, so when you're in the city, all the light from the city covers up the stars," I explained.

"Wow..."

I've been lost a long time, but all those years haven't helped me figure out what to say to someone in a similar position. Maybe that's something I'll only figure out once I've found myself or maybe there's just no answer.

"What's that one called?" asked Millie. She poked a finger at the glass.

I sat up and tried to figure out where she was pointing. "Which one?"

"That really bright one. Next to that square shape."

"Hmm... Ah, that should be Jupiter."

"The planet?"

"Yeah."

"What about the one next to it?"

"That one I'm not so sure about..."

And so, we pondered the stars, Millie pointing and me trying to recall what I could. I could have looked it up on my phone but where would be the fun in that?

After a while, Millie's pointing became more sporadic and her voice quieter until eventually she put her head down on her pillow again.

I let the curtain fall back against the window and was ready to let sleep take me too when, in the distance, I heard a rumble.

I tensed and listened carefully.

Someone else may have assumed it was thunder or an airplane, but I'd lived here too long to make that mistake.

I sat up and tweaked the curtain back from the window again and peered out. Millie also popped up and pressed her face to the window.

The rumbling grew and grew until...

"Get down," I said quietly but authoritatively. "Stay still."

I dropped the curtain and pulled Millie back from the window back into the gloom of the van.

Beams of light cut through the darkness and shine in through the window, illuminating where we'd just been. The beams shifted and turned, and the rumbling came to a clanking stop.

Car doors opened and shut.

"Almost missed the place," said a voice. "What's the big rush anyway..." They sounded annoyed.

"You can ask the boss tomorrow. You're here already so go make yourself useful." This second voice was gruffer.

"Ugh..." went the first voice but they didn't argue the point.

There was more clanking, car boots being opened and shut, then the sound of feet as the pair walked off.

I kept a hand on Millie's shoulder to keep her back then carefully leaned forward to look out the window.

"What is it? Who are they?" Millie whispered.

"Police," I said, unsure what I was seeing myself. "They're going up to the weather station..."

"Why?"

"I don't know..."

I grabbed around in the dark and found my phone. I angled it away from the window then turned on the screen to check the time. It was nearly midnight.

Suddenly I felt Millie pull away from my hand. I instinctively went to grab her, but she was too fast and disappeared too quickly into the gloom of the car.

"Hey!" I called in a loud whisper.

There was a click, and the door of the van opened and I saw Millie's silhouette as she went to jump out. I lunged.

And was successful.

"Where are you going?"

Millie glared at me. "To talk to them," she replied. She pointed out the window and toward the steps.

"What, so they can grab you and send you away again?"

I saw Millie bristle. I shouldn't have said that, but, well, what's done is done.

I sighed.

"Look, I'll find out what's going on, alright?"

"How?" Millie asked suspiciously. She clearly thought little of my bravery.

"By going up there," I said, nodding toward the station.

I pushed the van door open with a foot, grabbed my phone and got out. "You wait here until I get back, deal?"

"I await your news," Millie says primly.

"Try to get some sleep," I said, turning away. "And don't break anything," I add, glancing back.

I catch Millie's eyeroll. "You wound me."

I gently slid the van door shut then walked briskly to the steps up to the station. Before starting up them, I got out my phone and turned on its torch function. A mist was rolling over the mountain and falling in the dark up here on the mountain was not a good idea.

I walked slowly up, making sure each of my steps was firm before going forward and sure no unknown visitors were around. I always found the fog here had a way of making every little sound far louder than it should.

As I walked, I mulled over what the deal with those trespassers were. Could these police officers now actually be the two from last night? The footage was grainy, and they definitely hadn't been in police uniform, but like Aron had said that afternoon: just because someone looks the part doesn't mean they're real.

I reached the top of the steps and stopped. Someone, presumably the pair earlier, had put up police tape across the entrance.

I approached quietly and tried the door handle. It was unlocked so I slipped in.

The lights were on inside and I could hear a muffled conversation happening somewhere, probably behind the server cabinets.

Lucky there had been no one near the entrance.

I straightened and took a look around.

The place looked more or less the same as that afternoon except for a few metal, hard cases piled up in one corner that looked like the kind you'd want to carry around delicate equipment in.

There was a sheaf of papers on the topmost box so I went over to pick it up.

It was all technical jargon, but on the last page I spotted a familiar name under Supervisor: Gei Ming Yat Fa, Claire.

What was I to make of that...?

I dropped the papers back onto the box.

"Hey!"

I froze.

"Who are you? You're not supposed to be here."