He Is That Guy

“Y-you’re teasing me over this—”
“Hold it. Wait.”
I cut Chae Yu-jeong off, waving my hands, stung by how unfair that sounded.
“When did I ever tease you? I asked seriously. And you’re still lying. With that face, who’s going to believe you when you say no?”
He clamped his lips shut, glared, then snapped his head away. From the side, he looked genuinely pissed.
“I’m annoyed…”
“There you go with the casual tone again.”
“I’m annoyed.”
Tears hung on his long lashes, ready to fall.
“I—I didn’t think I could hide it perfectly.”
“……”
“You’re quick on the uptake, and unlike me you’ve dated a lot… Still, I wanted to tell you someday—properly—somewhere with a nice vibe…”
Oh, come on. A laugh slipped out.
So he was planning to confess later in some romantic spot, and I ruined it? We’re not teenagers. What adult draws up a confession plan like that?
It’s cute, sure, but I still had to be clear. I set my spoon down and answered evenly.
“I don’t want to date a guy.”
“I know.”
Sounding truly hurt, he mumbled with his shoulders drooping.
“You like women.”
“Mm…”
True, but why does it grate? Because of what I went through in Xenorise?
“I figured you’d turn me down. I wasn’t expecting anything. That’s why I wanted to confess somewhere nicer…”
“Even if you’d confessed with perfect ambience, the result would be the same. Do I look like I’m that easily moved?”
“That’s…”
Unable to meet my eyes, he fidgeted and spoke in a voice with no confidence.
“I mean… I’m pretty and I have money, so maybe you’d hesitate a little…”
“……”
So much for ‘no expectations.’ His head’s stuffed with them. I folded my arms and took him in slowly across the table.
His eyes were still red and a little damp; his clean features sat on flawless skin; his bright bangs caught the light and gleamed softly.
‘He… is close to my type, yeah.’
I scratched my forehead, keeping that one thought to myself—no way I’d ever tell him. Still, a guy’s a no-go. I answered seriously.
“Sorry, Chae Yu-jeong.”
His round eyes lifted to me at the apology.

“I don’t want that kind of relationship with you.”
At the clean rejection, his lips parted, then closed without any words coming out.
“If this makes things awkward, don’t contact me. I’ll get it.”
“…No.”
I’d said it thinking it’d be hard to keep seeing each other after a rejection, but he gave a bitter smile and shook his head.
“I didn’t do all this to try to make you date me… Even without the feelings, I still want to keep knowing you. I’ve liked you for a long time…”
“You want to keep in touch?”
“Yeah. If you’re okay with it…”
Even now, he worried about whether I was upset. I could only sigh. So I chose sharper words on purpose.
“I’m busy now, but when break hits I’ll have time and I’ll meet women. You’ll be okay with that?”
“That’s…”
“Normal hyung–dongsaeng don’t show up with porridge and meds because someone’s sick. What if I say this kind of thing makes me uncomfortable?”
His pale fingertips trembled. The tears he’d barely managed to hold back gathered again.
“Don’t decide you’re fine too fast. Think it through. Is it really the right call to stay friends with the guy who turned you down?”
With that, I stood up. I wasn’t in shape to keep sitting here leisurely eating porridge; better to send him off.
“I need to rest. Thanks for today. Get home safe.”
“…Okay.”
Frowning around the eyes, barely holding it in, he pushed himself up unsteadily.
He looked so drained I wanted to pat his back, but that would only stir up useless feelings, so I held back.
“I’ll go. Rest well. And take your meds.”
“Yeah.”
He hesitated to the end, unable to take his eyes off me, but at my firm reply he couldn’t say anything and left the room.
The place felt weirdly hollow. It’s always been just me here, and someone only dropped by for a moment, but the quiet suddenly felt awkward.
I half-tidied the table and reached for the fever reducer I’d meant to take—then stopped. He went to the trouble… I should take the meds he bought.
After debating, I tore open what he’d brought and swallowed a tablet. The round pill slid down my hot throat.
 
****
—Hyung, {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} you’re really too much…
On the sofa, he looked at me with watery eyes.
The damp lashes and flushed cheeks seared into my head.
—You keep teasing me…
White, neat fingertips cautiously traced my arm. He pressed close, cheek rubbing my shoulder, warm heat climbing his face.
A soft fragrance brushed my nose. His bright hair scattered all over my shoulder.
—I’m annoyed.
The whine, thick with hurt, curled my lips up without thinking.
I liked the warmth filling my arms, so I circled his waist. He flinched, then, shy, looped his arms around my neck to match me.
Midday sunlight spilled in from across the room. With the warm air, the way he cuddled into me, all clingy, felt pretty satisfying.
At some point he lay back on the beige sofa, looking up at me. I planted both hands by his small face and lowered my upper body, slow.
—Hyung…
Lying still beneath me, he was red to the neck. His long lashes fluttered; he blinked twice, then gave me a tiny smile.
I found myself agreeing again with his line about maybe I’d hesitate because he’s pretty. Yeah—this pretty, anyone might waver, even if he’s a guy.
He tilted his head; a white nape showed. A sharp jawline and round earlobe slid into view.
I wet my lips like I was savoring something and settled between his legs. His voice came out tight with nerves.
—You like women.
Yeah, I like women. But you said you like me.
Thinking something a bit trashy and shameless, one corner of my mouth kicked up.
—If you’re okay with it…
He hesitated, then squeezed his eyes shut on those words.
I hadn’t planned to kiss him, but the way he went rigid and closed his eyes made me huff a laugh.
Fine. One kiss. With that, I dipped closer. The lily-like scent deepened.
Just before our lips touched—
My eyes flew open.
“……”
The midday sun, the beige sofa, Chae Yu-jeong—gone. Only my apartment ceiling stared back.
Even after I opened my eyes, it took a while to separate real from dream. Groaning, I pushed myself up.
“Ha…”
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand. 8:12 a.m. The good news: my body felt fine and the headache was gone. The bad news: my head hurt for another reason now.
I dragged my bangs back and swore in my head.
‘Fuck.’
What kind of dogshit dream was that. Am I that shameless?
Just yesterday, I heard what barely counted as a confession and shot him down. Then I went and had a… weird dream starring him.
“This is insane.”
The face waiting for a kiss right before I woke kept flickering in my head. The way his body yielded into me was way too vivid.
I’ve never had a dream like that in my life, so it rattled me. Sure, it’s the first time I’ve ever been confessed to by a guy…
‘Wait, am I… possibly okay with guys too?’
The thought hit like a truck; I covered my eyes with a hand and tried to think seriously.
‘…No. A guy is a bit much.’
Doing the kind of touching I’ve always done with women, but with a man? Even if I thought it over a hundred times, that was a no.
It’s just because it was Chae Yu-jeong. He’s stupidly pretty. My type, even. Even if he’s pretty and my type, I’m not going to date him.
Having that dream and landing on this conclusion made me feel like I’d done him dirty, but… what’s impossible is impossible.
Maybe that’s why my chest felt grimy. With no solution in sight, I shoved the dream into a corner of my mind.
After how last night ended, it’ll probably take a while before he reaches out again. Maybe he won’t at all, if he’s too crushed.
So forget it. It was just a dream.