NOVEL NEXT chapter 43
43: Life and Dignity
Living is the top priority, and everything else is just an afterthought.
That’s why I live in a way that avoids anything that gives a sense of “death.”
Speaking of which, the “schedule management” that others, especially Karina and the others, asked me why I’m so strict with it is also part of my activities to avoid “dying.”
I don’t accumulate fatigue. I don’t rush. I don’t push myself too hard. Because I don’t take “living” lightly, my schedule management reflects strategic efforts to live.
Now, managing to meet the deadline somehow, we completed the printing without any trouble and Karina and I set off for the summer festival.
It seems that the printed books will be directly delivered to the venue from the printing company.
Last year, they copied them with a regular copy machine and manually bound them, carrying them themselves. So, thanks to good schedule management, we didn’t have to go through unnecessary hardships.
In the sales event venue, Karina and I will be selling about sixty copies of the book, taking about six hours.
It’s said that it would be good if we sold out, but they don’t think it will happen. So, at most, we’ll have an average of ten customers per hour, and even with browsing customers, it won’t exceed thirty people.
It’s an easy task.
When I heard that I would be a cosplaying salesperson, I imagined that I shouldn’t do anything that doesn’t suit the character and was nervous. However, it seems that all I have to do is wear the clothes and sit, so I won’t have any unnecessary worries (although I did some preparation to play the character).
Of course, since there are four of us in our shop (they call it a “circle”), we can take turns and have breaks.
The sales event started with a lot of people and customers right after the doors opened.
It seems that there are some fixed fans of Karina and the others, and they bought the books while exchanging some greetings. I was just standing next to Karina, not attracting attention.
After about an hour, the waves of people began to calm down, and I got permission from Karina to take a break.
There’s nothing to do during the break.
Maybe go to the bathroom, and then have a meal.
I can’t think of anything to do even if I’m left alone in an unfamiliar venue.
But since the books being sold here are not the kind you would find in regular bookstores, it’s not a problem to look around. I didn’t dislike books because reading them doesn’t put my life in danger.
I decided to walk around the venue in search of books.
The venue is divided into several blocks, each dealing with different genres. Karina and others are involved in what is known as “female-oriented fan fiction,” but there are also original works and male-oriented fan fiction, as well as handling of not only manga but also novels and other forms of media. I decided to first go to the restroom, thinking about how to spend the next hour and navigate the venue by looking at the map. At that time, I didn’t realize how crowded the venue was. The view from the circle and the view as a customer were completely different. The line for the restroom was incredibly long. Just when I thought I was lining up for the restroom, it turned out that I was at the end of the circle line and ended up buying a fan fiction book of a character I didn’t know well. I’ve already spent thirty minutes just waiting in line, which means I’ve already consumed half of my allotted break time. I hold the thin book I bought with the thought of “It would be a waste to just turn back after waiting so long.” The restroom is out of the question. If I line up there now, I won’t be able to make it back to Karina within thirty minutes. I ask my bladder, “Can I make it? Is it impossible?” I’ll do my best to make it work. I understand. I won’t run, I won’t put pressure on my lower abdomen, and I won’t drink any more fluids… Got it. But the venue is hot. If it’s a choice between heatstroke and incontinence, I’ll choose incontinence. People don’t die from embarrassment, but they do die if they don’t sweat. Please understand. Do you understand? Okay, deal. I’ve made an agreement with my bladder. I start making my way back to where Karina and the others are with cautious steps. As time passes, the venue becomes less crowded, but the male-oriented block where I am is still crowded… It’s hot, and there’s a strange smell… I walk, trying not to go against the flow of the crowd too much. I can’t make forceful movements because of the agreement with my bladder. Finally, when I leave the male-oriented block, there’s only ten minutes left. I try to contact Karina to let her know that I might not make it in time, but my mobile device shows “No signal.” It’s a magical world. The mobile communication device that each person plays the role of an antenna seems to be malfunctioning due to the excessive swirling of people and impure thoughts. I start to panic. But don’t panic… Panic is stress. Stress shortens your lifespan. I walk quickly. My bladder protests, saying, “This is not what we agreed on!” No, it’s not different. I’m not running. Running is prohibited by the rules of the venue in the first place… This is just fast walking. When I return to the female-oriented block, my head is filled with the word “pee.” My thoughts are dominated by pee… Am I a person, or am I urine? Aren’t most people made up of water? Most of urine is also made up of water. And the components of urine are similar to blood… That’s why drinks with diuretic effects also tend to increase heart rate. When the heart pumps blood throughout the body due to the stimulating effect, urine also circulates towards the bladder. In other words, blood is urine. I feel the flow of urine circulating through my blood vessels as I make my way towards Karina and the others. Unpleasant sweat starts to appear, but let’s think of it differently. People are urine. Blood is urine. So sweat is nothing but urine. I wipe the urine that has appeared on my forehead due to the stress of exceeding the allowed break time and let my heart beat with excitement as I circulate urine throughout my body, walking with small steps. Just as I see Karina and the others, I check the time… Somehow, I still have a few seconds left. Thank goodness… I wipe away the urine that appeared on my forehead and walk towards Karina with small steps. Thank goodness, thank goodness. I thought urine might come out of my mouth due to the excessive panic. Here, urine refers to the heart. At that moment, our circle was receiving visitors, and Karina was attending to them. Whether it was intentional or not, the visitors seemed to be talking to Karina for a long time, and Karina didn’t seem bothered by it. I felt a deep emotion… Karina, who used to have no friends in the middle school class, has found many comrades in this hobby space. This has nothing to do with me. It’s something Karina did on her own. It’s entirely Karina’s achievement… I know that, but for some reason, a feeling of pride wells up inside me. “Ah, Rex.”
Karina says. I raise my hand lightly like urine. The customer bids farewell to Karina, feeling just right. It’s the perfect timing for me to pass by the customer.
As the customer turns right, their hand hits my lower abdomen.
“Ah, I’m sorry,” the customer says. It’s a light apology. In reality, it’s not that damaging. Their hand just lightly hit my stomach. But for me right now, it’s a fatal blow.
Are you going out? – My bladder says. I replied, “No.” Don’t go out. People don’t die of shame, but a high school sophomore boy urinating in front of a girl one year older while cosplaying is a creature that will die.
Moreover, I have a thin book that’s almost erotic, more erotic than erotic but not erotic right now. If I wet myself in this state, I’ll suffer and die in various ways.
After seeing off the customer, I took a deep, long breath. I exhale all the air in my lungs. I feel urine circulating throughout my body. I feel urine flowing from my forehead. I close my eyes. I take short breaths and exhale long.
“Rex, what’s wrong?”
It’s nothing. Are you going to take the next break? Go away—
I intended to say such words with my reason.
But what I actually said was, “Please take me to the toilet”—