Haru-Naru ♪♪♪ Love is a Comedy

It was a Sunday evening, and when I returned home from my friend's house, the house was strangely silent. There were no sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen, nor could I hear the television or the sound of any talking. It was unnatural.

Taking off my shoes, I felt a tingling sensation and slapped the back of my neck. A strangely tense atmosphere floated about. I could feel goosebumps rising on my skin. Something was definitely strange. This was different from the home I was used to.

Raising my eyebrows, I walked through the hallway while trying to keep absolutely silent. I stopped in front of the door to the living room. An ominous feeling washed over me as I placed my hand on the knob, and I hesitated for a moment.

Gulp. Swallowing deeply, I opened the door. "… I'm… home…?"

When I entered the room, I saw Naruko and Mom sitting across a table from each other on the sofa having a meeting. Both were silent. Mom's face was absolutely expressionless, so I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but Naruko was frozen solid, and was hanging her head.

"…"

Ah. Everything became clear when I glanced at the table. On top of the table, as Mom might put it from her line of work, there were two pieces of evidence. First, there was the brand-name handbag that Naruko often carried with her. Second, there was something that I had definitely not forgotten. It was the Magi Magi Magical Magi DVD case, with the copy of Loving my Little Sister (18) inside. The DVD case was open. The evidence was more than enough. There was no use in arguing about who was guilty. While blinking a number of times, I came to understand the situation.

IS SHE A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE IDIOOOOOOOOT?! Idiot! What a huge idiot! This situation was already so pitiable, I felt tears coming to my eyes! Didn't you say that the one thing we had to do was to not expose your secret?! And she was careless again and dropped her DVD… didn't I already warn her not to do that?! She had repeated her blockheaded mistake once again! She's done the same thing as when she exposed her secret to me! Why, if she's so talented everywhere else, does she have to fail at this one thing?! How can she be so careless… Ahh… what should I do? I have no idea…

For ten minutes I stayed anxiously in front of the living room door. I can clearly hear Mom yelling at Naruko from here. Having her secret hobby exposed to Mom, how was she trying to explain it anyway? I couldn't even imagine what she would say… but to that woman, I couldn't see any excuse working. She was so convinced of her own beliefs that she would never concede to anyone else. Also, she was surprisingly sharp. It wouldn't be wrong to say that she could see through lies very well. Ugh… what's going to happen…?

It was ten more minutes before Naruko appeared in the doorway. Strongly kicking the door open, Naruko flew out with a frighteningly devilish expression on her face. Her face was bright red with anger, and her eyes were swollen and bloodshot.

"Na-Naruko…?"

"Get out of my way! Get out!"

Naruko quickly walked towards me, and with a glare filled with hatred, pushed me out of the way. Like this, it felt like there was very little I could do to calm her down. Naruko's breathing became more and more audible as she headed towards the entranceway and began to confusedly put on her boots.

"Hey Naruko where are you going?"

"Shut up, I can go wherever the hell I want!"

"Wait a second."

As Naruko began to leave the house, I tried to chase after her, but…

Bang! Naruko slammed the door shut behind her.

Should I chase after her? No… before that… I returned back inside. I wasn't sure, but I was considering asking Mom to tell me the details of what had happened. I had to do that if I wanted to know what had caused Naruko to get so enraged. Although I can vaguely imagine what went on.

Very cautiously, I entered the living room, and for some reason Mom was handling a vacuum cleaner. In the corner of the living room, a crystal ashtray sat overturned… could it be that Mom lost her cool and threw that? What in the world could have unfolded here?

Mom silently operated the vacuum cleaner. In the dead silence, the echoing sound of the vacuum stood out like a sore thumb. A tense silence, the kind that persisted right after a familial conflict, dominated the mood of the room.

At long last, Mom stopped vacuuming, and in a low, deep voice, mumbled this, "Haruto, please sit there for a bit."

"A-Alright…" doing as I was told, I drew near the table and sat down on the sofa. She was probably planning to interrogate me about Naruko's situation. Or maybe she was going to lecture me. Naruko was really stubborn when it came to this, so my name probably didn't come up. But, knowing Mom, she could probably guess even without firm evidence that I was involved. It would be pointless to try and play dumb.

Well, it was what it was. I also didn't have any intention of confessing that I had given advice to Naruko. That was just common courtesy. I turned my eyes to the top of the table. The damning evidence, the open DVD case, was still placed on top. Next to it, I saw a single scrap of paper. It seemed like the scrap was an advertisement for an anime and manga specialty shop. There was a huge image of "Magi-chan," and right underneath was this description:

Magi Magi Magical Magi Vol. 1: Beginnings-First Limited Edition has finally arrived! Customers who bring the box from a previous edition to the shop counter will receive a signed postcard by the popular Magi-chan voice actress, Hirano Aya, as a gift!

Ah, I see. With this, a few of my questions have been answered…

The day I had found her Magi Magi Magical Magi package, why was she carrying the package with her, outside when she didn't have any otaku friends to call on? And why did she have the package with her today? Well, she probably planned to bring it to the store counter, and get a signed postcard. It wasn't something that took much time to do, so she probably thought it would be good to just do it quickly… but of all the times she could have done it, today… that was the most terrible timing. For now, with this, I understood that when Mom discovered all this, Naruko had come back from the meeting. That's probably what happened. Once she came back, she went to her room, put Magi Magi Magical Magi into her bag, and when she thought "well, let's go get that signed postcard," she bumped into Mom… I could imagine that flow of events. I don't really know what happened after that, but, well, it was clear she had somehow or other seen the contents of the DVD case. And then that was enough to hold a family council like that… what a miserable story. And then… after having tidied the room with the vacuum, Mom sat across from me. As if by reflex, I grew anxious and corrected my posture.

"Haruto, did you know about this?"

"Y-Yeah." I could not respond any other way.

"I see. I won't ask why you know about it already. I'm not here to chat."

Mom's stare was not just frightening, but it seemed to pierce into the very center of my soul. How far had she guessed about my involvement with this crime? I felt my spine shiver.

"I have never bought things like this for you two. Do you know why?" Picking up the DVD case with one hand, she spoke about both the anime drawing on the cover and the contents of the case. The 18 indication only applied to the contents of the case, but Mom did not make such a distinction. Not being able to make any objection, I stayed silent. Trying to avoid Mom's gaze, I looked downwards. Every time Naruko or I have received a lecture from our mother, it's always like this. "It is because things like this are bad influences for you two. The news also often talks about these things, how playing things like these games will rot your brain. I don't mean that you should just swallow every story the television tells you… "

Well, in either case, they were worthless things, right? That's what Mom's facial expression was saying. Mom's understanding of the subculture was outrageously low. She would apply her so-called "common adult knowledge" stereotypes to everything, and only through this filter could she view Naruko's hobbies. Although, just a while ago, my own opinions about otaku were similar to those of Mom. I could buy magazines and CDs with my allowance, but Mom would definitely never allow me to buy video games. She always told me video games were good for nothing. People who played games were all idiots. For this reason, Naruko was in quite serious trouble.

"Well, that's how it is, more or less. People say that these things are bad influences. And also, people who only play those games all the time are… what? They're otakus, or something… and otakus are hated, right? So, nothing good can come of these things. So there is no reason for you two to buy these."

"But that is… " Just as I was barely beginning to talk, Mom broke me off.

"I guess you want to tell me 'Well, Naruko spent her own money.' I know that, and I'm not going to dwell on that issue. Whether it was makeup, or showy clothes, or handbags… from the start, I believed that I should set down rules to control the various things that my daughter shouldn't have because she is still too young… but your grandparents told me that they were necessary to make friends, so I couldn't resist. I gave up and let Naruko do what she wants."

"So makeup and handbags are alright, but anime and games are not?"

"Obviously! That hobby is believed to be bad, so I cannot allow my precious daughter to have such things. Especially since, if I do say so myself, Naruko is really a talented kid. If she becomes addicted to that worthless hobby, I have to correct her and put her back on the right path before she is completely lost."

As an otaku, Naruko would be completely lost. So, she would stop that from happening. That was the gist of what Mom was saying. Honestly, by getting hooked on eroge, as a high school student my sister had already gone bad, so I really couldn't say anything in response to Mom. And then… seeming to have finished her lecture, Mom stood up from her seat and began to leave the living room. A chill ran up my spine.

"M-Mom? Where are you going…?" Panic, I chased after Mom, and called out to her.

She was trying to go up the stairs. Up there, there was nothing but my room and Naruko's room. Could it be…?! Mom said exactly what I had feared. "I am going to investigate Naruko's room. She might be hiding other things like this from me."

"W-Wait! Wait just a second please!" Crap, Naruko's complete collection is… ! From the foot of the stairs, I looked up at Mom and held her back with my loud voice. "And if that sort of stuff was there, you would have already found it! You clean that room every day! Even the ero books I had hidden in my room, you found all of them, didn't you? There isn't any reason she has anything hidden up there! The one you found in her handbag is definitely the only one she has."

Naruko had probably also told her the same thing. If for some reason, Mom discovered all her other eroge, then I have no doubt that she would throw them all out. Even when faced with the unpleasant task of confronting Mom, I'm positive that she would try to defend her collection to her dying breath.

"So what? If I look for them, but don't find them, then it will be fine right?"

No, you're definitely going to find them this time. If this continued, her entire collection would be discovered. Just from what she showed me the last time, she had at least twenty or thirty! Furthermore, Naruko had said there were things in there, she was too embarrassed to show me, so those things were also in there, weren't they? If Mom ever discovered those things, she would completely blow up. Not good… even putting it lightly, this was not good…

"W-Wait a second! Mom!"

Mom rapidly ascended the stairs. I chased after her hurriedly, getting in front of her and blocking her path with both arms outstretched.

"Move aside, Haruto!"

"I won't!"

Mom lightly twisted my wrist, and repeated herself. "Move aside!"

It seemed that until the very end, Mom was going to try to get me to move of my own will.

"I won't move!" Dammit… she's strong. The pain in my wrist intensified. "Whatever the situation, just going into someone's room without their permission and rummaging around is bad, isn't it? I mean, even for a parent, there are things you can do and things it would be bad to do. So I won't move!"

I bore the pain and made my case. It looked like I was going to try to defend my sister's collection. Although, I have no idea what became of that girl. Also… if your daughter is in possession of suspicious things, then as a parent it's your duty to scold her and confiscate the items. Mom was just trying to fulfill her duty as a parent, and even if Naruko cried and yelled about it, it was her own fault in the end. So, why in the world was I here enduring this pain, doing something that could not possibly do me personally any good?

Well… because! Somehow or other, she had taken my advice and furthermore I remembered how she had shown off her collection to me with such a proud expression. I remembered how she forced me to play an eroge, constantly asking my impressions, if there was a way or how I wanted to do something for her. And then, I remembered the Starbucks at Akiba, how they had begun to argue even though it was their first time meeting, and how much fun the group of otaku seemed to be having. It really wasn't something to be thrown away. And that's why I was doing something crazy like this…

"Mom… please leave this to me… let me talk to her. At least wait until then, please. Throwing away her precious things when she isn't even here… that's a terrible thing to do, isn't it? Please, I beg you!"

As my pleas became desperate, Mom watched me with suspicious eyes. "Haruto, you… "

I know exactly what you want to say, Mom. Why is it that I'm protecting my sister so desperately like this, when we don't seem to have a good relationship? Indeed… it's strange however you think about it, isn't it? I personally know all too well how strange it seems! For a while, we glared at each other in silence. With a strict expression, Mom seemed to be thinking about something…

At long last, she let go of my wrist. "Alright. I will wait. I won't go into her room." Mom was a woman who would honor any promise she made. She would never go back on her words. "I leave this to you, but I want you to promise me Haruto, as the only man in this house and as her brother, you have the duty to make sure all of these things are thrown away. All of them, without a single exception. Do you understand?"

"I understand. I'll talk with Naruko… and I'll definitely do that."

I had no choice but to answer like that. From her order, I knew that even without going into Naruko's room, Mom was convinced that she had forbidden objects there. It can't really be helped. By standing here and resisting Mom's attempts to get into her room so strongly, I might as well be loudly shouting "there are suspicious things behind this door!" And, if I break this promise, Mom might not forgive me and throw away every single thing in that collection without leaving anything behind. I had to tell Naruko that. On top of the grave seriousness of this duty, the task would be terribly difficult and I would gain little from it.

Dammit. Well, Naruko… at least I bought you some time… although… I shouldn't expect any gratitude from her. Heh…