Harry Potter: Magic and Guns

Chapter 53: Christmas Harry, Ha ha ha, Laughing Like a Dark Lord



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There were quite a few students who chose to stay at Hogwarts this year. Although Halloween had passed two months ago, the events of that day were still fresh in everyone’s mind.

Percy Weasley had fully recovered, but it seemed like he had lost part of his memory. He couldn’t recall anything he had done. According to Madam Pomfrey’s diagnosis, Percy’s memory had been modified. However, rumors were circulating that he had been under the Imperius Curse.

This speculation was fueled by the fact that right after Halloween, during a Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Grindelwald gave a lecture to students in their fifth year and above, covering the topic of the Imperius Curse.

According to his description, while the Imperius Curse is a difficult magic to detect, it’s not entirely unstoppable. The Unforgivable Curses are defined as having no counter-curses, but that doesn't mean they are unbeatable.

By simply wearing a small alchemical device that enhances mechanical rationality, resisting the Imperius Curse becomes much easier. Once the curse triggers the mechanical mind enhancement, a wizard enters a state of absolute calm and cold logic. In this state, breaking free from the curse’s control is remarkably simple.

This magic, never seen before at Hogwarts, was a creation of the Saints. Outside of Hogwarts, or rather, outside of the English magical world, Grindelwald's faction had control over territories where magical innovation was more vigorous than in the traditional wizarding community. New and highly useful spells emerged every year, a rarity in the more conservative magical world.

But for now, none of this concerned Harry. After four months away from home, he was feeling homesick. He missed Number 4 Privet Drive, missed his aunt and uncle, and even missed his cousin Dudley.

"I wonder if Dudley has changed at all since I left," Harry thought.

Swinging his black dragon leather backpack over his shoulder, Harry left the gates of Hogwarts, joining the other students heading to Hogsmeade Station. At the gate, Hagrid waved cheerfully at them, the snow-covered carriages ready and waiting for the young wizards.

"See you next year, Hagrid!" Harry shouted as he waved, while the giant waved back, watching Harry disappear into the swirling snowflakes.

The scarlet Hogwarts Express stood out vividly against the snow-covered station. White smoke from the engine occasionally puffed out like a dragon’s breath. After shutting the compartment door, the wind and snow were shut out, and the warmth inside made Harry let out a satisfied sigh. He hung his bulky coat on a hook, stretched his body, and relaxed.

"I wonder when my temperature-regulating coat will finally arrive. Madam Malkin's delivery service is so slow," he muttered.

Opening Hedwig’s cage, Harry reached in to pet her. She had grown a little larger and stronger since the last time, but whenever she was near Harry, she became clingy.

"Can I pet your bird?"

A clear voice rang out as the compartment door slid open. Hermione stood beside the speaker, smiling brightly and waving at Harry, but it wasn’t Hermione who had spoken.

"Oh, hello there."

Harry nodded to the newcomer at the door, inviting them to sit.

"This is Cho Chang, a second-year Ravenclaw," Hermione introduced.

"Of course, I know her, Hermione. Cho is the Ravenclaw Seeker-in-training. Of course, I know who she is."

Since everyone knew each other, Harry felt comfortable. Cho had recently joined his battle group, making her one of his own now.

"Heh, I didn’t expect you to remember me, Captain," Cho said with a hint of surprise, aware of her ‘invisible’ status. They hadn’t met since the day the group was formed, and she had never been on the field.

"There are less than forty people in the whole group, how could I forget?"

Harry turned to Hedwig. "Look, Hedwig, there’s a girl who wants to pet you. Why don’t you bring her a mouse treat and show off a bit?"

But Hedwig lazily turned her head away and flapped her wings at Harry in annoyance. Her expressive eyes seemed to say, “Don’t you know anything about same-gender repulsion? I’m a girl too, you know!”

Seeing this, the two girls next to Harry burst into laughter. Hedwig’s little expression was priceless.

"Forget it, you do your thing. There’s plenty of snacks for you today," Harry said, grabbing a handful of mouse treats and placing them in front of Hedwig, giving her fluffy, round head a rub.

"Do you have any plans for Christmas, Harry?" Hermione asked after the train started to move slowly.

"I don’t really have anything planned," Harry shrugged. "I'll probably work out at home, maybe take a walk by the river. If it hasn’t frozen over, I might go for a winter swim."

"Snowy days aren’t great, though," he added. "No rock climbing, no hunting. Aside from looking at the snow, there’s not much to do."

"And you? What are your plans?" Harry asked, tilting his head.

"Probably the same as you," Hermione replied with a smile. "But just going home for Christmas is enough. I miss my parents."

With two lively girls for company, the journey passed quickly, though much of the credit went to the Hogwarts Express itself. While it had taken its sweet time getting them to Hogwarts at the start of the term, today, the usual seven or eight-hour trip was compressed into a fifth of that. The train, in its full glory as a high-speed steam engine, raced along, and by midday, they had already arrived at King's Cross Station.

The station was especially crowded with Muggles on Christmas Eve, so the students returning home blended in easily. After bidding farewell to Hermione and Cho, Harry made his way toward the parking lot. He had barely reached the entrance when a solid mass of Dudley Dursley crashed into him.

"Hey! Buddy!" Dudley shouted.

It seemed Dudley was attempting to suffocate Harry with a bear hug inside his thick puffer jacket, but Harry was no easy target.

Although Harry wasn’t quite capable of pulling off the highest martial arts techniques, such as "receiving, deflecting, and countering," he was quite adept at turning things back on their source.

With the advantage of his height, Harry lifted Dudley effortlessly, much like pulling a radish out of the ground. Dudley's feet kicked uselessly as his ribs made an audible popping sound, his body clearly expressing his excitement at their reunion.

"Hogwarts must have great food," Dudley muttered, rubbing his sore ribs. "You’re even stronger than before."

"Heh heh, magic does have its perks," Harry replied, grinning.

"This year’s Christmas gift is going to be epic," Dudley boasted. "I made it myself, and I guarantee you won’t see it coming!"

"You’ll never guess what I got for you either!" Harry laughed. "Just wait, Dudley, you’re in for a surprise!"

Arm in arm, the two of them walked happily to Uncle Vernon’s car. On the way home, Aunt Petunia chattered endlessly, commenting repeatedly on how skinny Harry had gotten, which made Dudley, who was still nursing his sore ribs, roll his eyes.

"Mom! Harry’s muscles are practically growing into his brain. Stop worrying about him!" Dudley protested.

"What do you know!" Petunia snapped, giving Dudley a playful smack on the head, though no one was fooled by his exaggerated show of pretending to be hurt.

At the Christmas Eve dinner, Aunt Petunia pulled out all the stops, preparing a table overflowing with rich dishes. Not a single English dish was in sight, and the lavish spread left Harry stuffed to the point of exhaustion. As much as he loved being home, the risk of gaining a few pounds every time he returned was very real.

The next morning, just as dawn broke, Harry’s internal clock woke him. From the room next door, he could hear the tearing of wrapping paper, indicating that Dudley had beaten him to getting up. At the foot of Harry’s bed, there was a massive pile of neatly wrapped boxes, at least seventy or eighty of them. Most of them were from Hogwarts.

"Looks like I’m more popular than I thought," Harry murmured, glancing over the boxes. Nearly every member of his battle group had sent him a Christmas gift. It was a good sign, showing they all recognized him as their captain.

"Looks like buying each of them a Nimbus 2000 was worth it. But the test of loyalty isn’t over yet," Harry muttered to himself. "I can’t copy the Emperor’s methods, but I can certainly borrow a few tricks from Grindelwald’s crew. Professor Grindelwald is nothing if not generous—he doesn’t hide anything."

After grumbling to himself for a bit, Harry sifted through the pile of gifts until he found the one from Dudley. It was an unusually thin envelope. Tearing it open, he found nothing inside but a few pieces of paper.

The letter read:

"Dear Mr. Harry Potter,

We are pleased to invite you to this year’s Winter Hunting Competition. Due to the effects of global warming, temperatures in parts of the Soviet Union have risen by fourteen degrees Celsius this winter compared to previous years. As a result, many brown bears have either not entered hibernation or have ended their hibernation early, making them more aggressive than usual.

We will be hosting a Winter Hunting Competition in the Omsk region, 2,000 kilometers east of Moscow, to control the damage caused by these wild brown bears."

Before Harry could finish reading the letter, there was a knock on the door, followed by Dudley barging in excitedly.

"Harry! Is this stuff really going to make me grow muscles? For real? Magic can do that? No wonder you’ve been getting stronger so fast!" Dudley exclaimed, his face flushed with excitement. Without waiting for an answer, he slapped Harry hard on the shoulder, leaving Harry’s arm completely numb.

"Are you part bear or something? How can anyone hit that hard?" Harry cursed through gritted teeth.

"Heh, heh!" Dudley grinned, showing no sign of remorse. "I just got a little too excited. What’s wrong with a bit of extra strength when I’m pumped?"

"By the way, is this potion real? Does it actually work?"

Seeing Dudley’s excitement, Harry fought to keep a straight face.

"Of course it works," Harry replied, smirking. "But it’s something I just finished experimenting with. I’ve only had one bottle myself. Otherwise, I’d probably crush you with one slap, you idiot."

"Remember, one bottle a week," Harry continued. "There’s enough here to last you four months. By the time I’m back for summer break, you’ll be as strong as a troll."

Dudley nodded eagerly and immediately twisted open a glass bottle, gulping down the potion in one go. Before he could react, Harry rushed forward, clamping a hand over his mouth.

"Don’t you dare spit it out! Swallow it!" Harry commanded.

"Mmpphh! Mmphh!" Dudley struggled, his eyes bloodshot as the indescribable taste exploded in his mouth, making him feel like his soul was leaving his body.

"You didn’t think getting stronger would come without a price, did you?" Harry said with a sinister smile, veins bulging in his arm. "This is warfare alchemy! It took me four months to brew this. You better enjoy it, my dear cousin!"

"Muahaha..."

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Eat that, Dudley! This is a gift of love from your little brother!" Harry cackled.

(End of Chapter)


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