Chapter 57: The Search for Identity Amidst Pain
While walking into his school and then his classroom, Harry weathered the staring as well as he could. He was wearing the most ridiculous mixture of colors and shapes for clothing, so he was standing out way more than he was comfortable with. Taking a seat at a desk, Harry waited for further instructions. As the teacher began calling out names, Harry felt a flutter of concern growing within the pit of his stomach. The two Delacour Veela immediately seethed in anger at the reason for Harry's anxiety...
"Harry Potter," called out the teacher... "Harry Potter," he called out again, while scanning the sea of young faces. Moving on, the teacher read out the rest of the names before marking Harry Potter as truant. When the teacher was done however, he noticed that there was a student who hadn't replied present to any name on the list. He approached the boy, knelt down and smiled. "Are you Harry Potter by any chance?" The boy looked up at the teacher and shrugged helplessly. "I don't know sir. I've never heard that name before…"
The teacher leaned much closer to look at the pale, gaunt little face of the boy sitting in front of him. "What do they call you then?"
Harry looked up at this man, this teacher, and he told the truth without a single care for the consequences. Even while reliving this memory, Harry couldn't figure out if his words were a cry for help or picture perfect ignorance.
"My relatives call me Boy or... Freak, sir..."
Needless to say, Harry spent the rest of the day in the principal's office, as the Dursley's were questioned by the Police. The beating the newly revealed Harry Potter received later that week when he was returned to Privet Drive kept him from returning to school for yet another week...
When Harry, Appoline and Fleur emerged from the memory, the ladies were surprised to find a completely ambivalent expression upon Harry's face.
"Are you okay?" Fleur was giving Harry an odd look now, as she and her mother released comfort and care into him in heavy, healing waves.
After shrugging his shoulders noncommittally, Harry tried to grin and failed. "Yeah, sorry it's okay. That's more of a bittersweet memory for me really. I was very happy afterwards to finally have a name of my own."
At this point, Appoline looked both pissed off and confused. "How did the Muggle Police not arrest these Dursleys? How can it be possible that you were left in their possession?"
"Good question, and I have no idea. I remember wondering that same thing literally all of the time." Harry ran his hands through his hair. "By the time I went back to school at the end of the following week, the teacher had inexplicably forgotten just how concerned he was. I've experienced that same negligence from adults all my life. Do you think I didn't reach out for help from anyone who would listen? As a child, I approached several teachers, priests and Police Officers for help, and I was forgotten or deserted every... single... time. When I was a little older, I ran away over and over again and I fought to stay away, but somehow I was always tracked down by the Police and dragged back to the Dursley's, despite my protests and... begging. In the end, I was always the one treated as if I was in the wrong. Eventually, I stopped trying to run away because the beatings I received afterwards were always particularly gruesome."
The two Veela immediately gave each other a very significant look. Compulsion Charms?... Obliviation? Both?
"Well that should be near the last of them," Harry finally sighed out as he looked around the room. "There's a lot of dark gray in here that we're skipping, but I should be able to chip away at those on my own. Let's get this over with. I need to see how I handled myself as a three year old." Harry began walking again with two extremely concerned Veela hovering at his shoulders.
There was a very thick and extremely black book called Two Years of Extremely Poor Health, laying on the floor in front of them. Harry looked back at the ladies and tried to smile but failed. "Well, it looks like we can save a lot of time. It appears that I can experience all of my body's various health problems all at once, and find out how I handled it."
Appoline looked at Harry as if he were crazy. "Yes 'Arry that sounds just marvelous. Let's just drop you into an avalanche of pain and illness. I want you to take a break, 'Arry!"
Harry closed his eyes and firmed up his posture. "Ladies. It's already nine thirty Pm and your bodies are awake. If we wait much longer you'll both doze off and I'll be left in here alone. I only see these two memories left." Harry pointed at the sickness one and one that they could all identify instinctually. There was a blacker than black book that was somehow radiating a green light. "I suggest we get to work so it's finally done."
Fleur and Appoline were extremely upset now and were losing their will to go on despite the fact that Harry was right.
Harry gave the two women another questioning look, at which point they both nodded with sad expressions. Harry grabbed the book below him.
Toddler Harry was lying in his cupboard, where he was in the midst of becoming very, very upset. His body was... not a body anymore, but rather a prison of poorly fitted flesh and bone. He was in terrible pain all day, all the time, and it was getting worse with every single second that passed. He couldn't move anymore and he feared that this was his end...
It had all started with his right hand not moving right, then it was the arm. Later, he'd started having nose bleeds and migraines. If he just had those problems right now it would've been a good day...
Harry's legs had stopped working properly and he'd lost all of his hair. He ached all over, the world was dimming around him, and he didn't know what to do. The people who fed him didn't look all that upset and they didn't come when he cried. Harry was desperate and didn't know what to do. His heart beat funny in his chest and he felt something wrong within his torso...
....
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