Hacking the Game Didn’t Go as Intended

“Mmm… how can I help you today, sweetie?” asked the woman with a hand on one hitched hip, the gentle words escaping painted and puckered lips.

Daisuke’s expression remained unchanged, a testament to his Composure Stat and his respectful acknowledgment of the transgender community.

“Hi. I’m looking to buy some gear.”

“Well, honey,” she blinked her thickly lashed eyelids, the sheen and luster of her hair outshining any girl Daisuke had seen before. “You’ve come to the right place.”

With a nod, Daisuke browsed the equipment on display. “I’m on a bit of a budget though. I’m looking for something functional but not too expensive.”

The woman’s eyes lit up with excitement as she pulled a measuring tool from her back pocket with a flourish, like it was a weapon. “Fabulous and stylish! Got it!”

“Wait—what?”

Before Daisuke could protest, the woman was spinning him around like a top and taking his measurements in a blur of movement. Zephyr spilled out from underneath his shirt like cookie dough, completely disoriented.

“Oh my~” the woman beamed like a child, lifting the pupper as if it were a fluffy marshmallow. “Who’s this little cutie?!”

“B-Blergh,” Daisuke struggled to prevent himself from regurgitating the valuable food he had just consumed, which would have been equivalent to squandering a few copper coins.

Before he could still the mutinous grumble of his stomach, the spirited woman was already shoving him into a changing room and taking a seat outside, legs crossed. Meanwhile, Zephyr was happily gnawing on his bone.

The curtain of the changing room shifted and out shuffled Daisuke, clad in a bulky suit of armor. “Don’t think… these are good for mobility,” he muttered while struggling to remain balanced.

The store owner chuckled and shook her head. “Perhaps not the best choice for you.”

“Rawrwu~”

Next Daisuke donned a flamboyant and extremely revealing outfit. He glanced at himself in the mirror, his eyes dreary. “Pretty sure I would get arrested for indecent exposure in this one,” he quipped, earning a hearty laugh from the owner.

Now Daisuke emerged wearing the store’s finest ensemble fit for a Duke. It was a masterpiece of craftsmanship, but he couldn’t help but sigh. “I’d probably have to start auctioning off my organs to afford this one,” he joked, a wry smile playing on his lips.

The store owner grinned awkwardly. “And I’m pretty sure you need those to survive.”

“Kyuu~”

 “Well, we do have more practical options,” she offered. “Let’s find something that suits both your style and your budget.”

Daisuke sighed noisily. “That was my request from the very start.”

The woman stuck her tongue out mischievously.

PAJIK!

A blood vessel bulged at Daisuke’s temple.

***

 

 “Budget-friendly and stylish—ahem, I mean functional. I’ve got just the thing!” assured the store owner as she led Daisuke to a rack of clothing. “Let’s start with these pants. They’re sturdy, comfortable, and only two gold fifty silver!”

Daisuke nodded when he came back from the changing room. “I like these.”

“A marvelous choice!” she agreed, her hands gesturing in approval. “Now, let’s consider your upper body.” She presented him with a long-sleeve shirt with partial metal plating at the front. “This one’s a steal at just three gold fifty silver and offers excellent protection.”

Daisuke looked himself over. “This is as functional as I can afford, so I’ll take it.”

The woman smiled warmly. “And finally, for the finishing touch, these boots!” She presented him with a robust leather pair. “They’re only one gold and should serve you well for quite some time.”

Daisuke put them on and walked around, his eyes on his toes. “Not bad. I’ll go with these too.”

The owner clapped her hands, her smile radiant. “Excellent choices! You’re going to look fabulous—uh, I mean, perfectly equipped for your adventures. If you ever need more gear or fashion advice, you know where to find me!” she exclaimed with a twinkle in her eye.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, anytime,” she replied in a velvety tone, looking him over with interest. Then she blushed.

 

DING!

[Intimacy level with Vivienne has increased by 50%.]

 

Daisuke cringed, pokerfaced.

RING-RING!

Swiftly paying his bill in full, he exited the store like a man gone mad from thirst, and then he sighed. Zephyr peered down from atop his head as Daisuke regarded the coin section of his character screen.

“And just when Wallet-kun finally fattened up with some money, we’re back to being poor again.”

“Ahruu,” Zephyr whined, sharing his grievance.

“Let’s head back to the guild and collect the reward for the quest. It should be enough for dinner and a room, at least. I’m tired. My future self can worry about tomorrow.”

Before Daisuke turned to leave, his gaze wandered across the street and landed on the window display of a nearby store. There, nestled among an array of items, he spotted a plush bear with a radiant smile, its soft features beckoning to him with an irresistible charm.

***

 

“I’d like to turn this quest in,” said Daisuke rather bluntly as a means of greeting, sliding a piece of parchment across the counter.

“Oh, Haxks,” the female clerk at the Adventurers’ Guild responded sweetly as she looked him over.

The first time she laid eyes on him, he seemed battered and bruised, his clothes in tatters. However, there was a noticeable change in his appearance now—though his attire still consisted of rags, hidden beneath them were rippling muscles and rose-beige skin.

The sight of his well-defined abs and biceps peeking out brought a flush to her cheeks. She couldn’t fathom how he had undergone such a dramatic transformation in such a short period of time, but she found herself rather intrigued—

“Is something wrong?”

“Eh? Wrong? N-No… everything’s fine,” she stammered, waving her hands frantically. “I was actually just about to call you.”

“…Call?”

The woman raised her index finger, and then placed her free hand on a strange device behind the counter. “Haxks Starfrost,” she uttered crisply, almost as if a chant, and then—

 

DING!

[The Adventurers’ Guild requests an audience.]

 

Daisuke frowned. This is…

Retrieving the guild card from his inventory revealed that it was giving off a bright phosphorescent glow. The clerk heaved a lean smile, a bit delighted to see that the boy’s nonchalant expression could actually change.

“Like the Global Census Register, all the names of our members are recorded in a magic seal,” she explained, her voice carrying the weight of experience. “By simply injecting mana into this magic device and reciting a name, it resonates with that individual’s blood that holds a unique signature within the magic formula. The blood then activates the guild card, which is made using a special material.”

“…Um, sure,” Daisuke drawled.

The clerk savored his stupefied expression as if it were a refreshing cup of tea on a rainy day, and her inner goddess bounced around doing a victory dance.

“So, what happens when you need to call hundreds or even thousands of guild members?”

“We—”

“Call them one by one?”

“…”

“That’s a waste of time and manpower,” Daisuke returned offhandedly. “What happens when there’s an existential crisis and you need all hands on deck right away?”

“That is—”

“The Guildmaster should consider notifying the regional manager about this obvious flaw in the system and ensure it’s rectified immediately.”

The clerk smiled awkwardly, beads of sweat forming on her forehead as her inner goddess deflated like a punctured balloon. “Ahem, um. Yes, I’ll see to it that your suggestion is passed along. Now, about why I wanted to call you…”

Daisuke’s expression settled back into a state of indifference as he listened.

“Tomorrow at dawn, there’s a mandatory meeting with the Guildmaster for adventurers in the lower ranks. Your attendance is expected without exception.”

Daisuke frowned suspiciously.

“Here,” she said, slipping him a letter stamped with the official guild seal. “In light of the abrupt nature of this assembly, the Guildmaster has arranged accommodations for everyone. Simply present this letter to any innkeeper in town, and your stay will be settled.”

Daisuke accepted the letter without a word. This must be a really big deal if they’re willing to invest so much into this whole endeavor.

“Congratulations on completing your first quest, by the way,” said the clerk, her tone filled with genuine praise as she reviewed the details on the parchment. “Thirty Celestia Flowers—did you manage to gather them all?”

Daisuke retrieved the vibrant white flowers from his inventory, their fresh fragrance filling the entire lobby, calming the adventurers who were busy looking for companions or new quests on the bulletin boards.

“Excellent! And they look pristine too. Here’s your reward.”

Daisuke slipped the four gold coins into his inventory before turning to leave.

“H-Haxks,” the clerk stammered, a warm blush coloring her cheeks as she shyly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I just realized… I never properly introduced myself.”

Daisuke turned, offering her a sidelong glance. “It’s fine; our conversations are usually brief anyway.”

The girl’s expression crumpled, and she started fuming inwardly, but she caught herself just before the urge to strangle him took over. “You’ll be in town for a while, right?” she replied with a smile, desperately trying to keep her expression even.

“I guess. What’s it to you?”

His nonchalance and aloof behavior had multiple blood vessels popping on her forehead, but her inner goddess was completely swooned by his cool attitude. “Then courtesy demands that we’re properly acquainted; it’s only right.”

“…”

“My name is Thalia… Thalia Misthaven.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Daisuke greeted flatly, and then he was gone.

Thalia’s cheeks flushed red with anger, her frustration bubbling to the surface like an erupting volcano. “T-That rude... handsome little... beautiful devil,” she muttered ungracefully through clenched teeth before sighing in defeat.

“He didn’t even call my name,” she murmured with a pout. What am I even thinking? He’s at least three years younger than me.