Growing Pains DC/DBZ

"...it was just really uncomfortable, you know? Like I kept waiting for some super strict lecture or arguments I wouldn't be able to say anything against, but just never happened." I whispered to Birdbrain from where I was sitting. Didn't want the people nearby overhearing this.

"Nmhmm." Robin hummed, stretching weirdly like he was trying to fly without actually leaving the ground.

"I mean, that's not a bad thing." I continued. "I'd take being told I did a good job over getting yelled at any day of the week. But I, like, spent so much time expecting it that when it didn't happen I actually felt disappointed. Is that weird?"

Birdbrain kept doing his stretching thing. To the point he was actually looking down his nose at me now. "Nah, I get it. You got worked up to defend yourself, and it was all for nothing. Been there before." He said, stepping closer and clearing his throat.

"...maybe. Still, it beats getting glared at like that guy." I looked over to where Batman was interrogating a man by hanging him one handed over the side of a building by the man's foot and demanding answers with a really scary look on his face.

I shivered.

Yeah, I'd prefer awkward and confusing talks over the batglare.

"Most things do." Birdbrain shrugged while staring down his nose at me.

Okay, this was getting annoying.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked. "Cause it looks really weird and you're starting to freak me out. Is this some weird sickness I haven't heard about?"

Robin glared at me. "No, stupid. Look closely, notice anything different about me?"

I gave him a quick lookover. Besides his weird posture he looked exactly the same as the last time I saw him a few months ago. But obviously there was something important I was missing if he was bringing it up.

"You got…a new…cape?" I guessed uncertainly.

"...seriously?"

"Uh, I mean, new belt! Yeah, looks much better than your old one…"

"..."

"...new haircut?"

That wasn't the right thing to say either because he slumped in on himself and let out a really long sigh.

"No you monkey-brained – anyway, since you couldn't tell on your own, I'll just have to clue you in." He straightened up and smiled in a way that immediately made me want to punch him. "For your information, I'm now taller than you."

Huh?

I looked him over again but it was kinda hard to judge while I was sitting down, so I got up and stood next to him. And yeah, he was now a solid inch, inch-and-a-half taller than me now.

Okay, I saw what he was doing now.

"That's cool I guess?" I replied lightly and tilted my head. "So what?"

"..."

I almost ruined the whole thing by bursting into laughter at the sight of Birdbrain trying to figure out if I was being serious about not knowing what he meant, especially because he didn't really seem to know how to explain why I should be mad about it. Totally worth playing dumb for.

Best part was, when he tried to explain I just raised an eyebrow and flew a couple inches higher than him. Turning him into a spluttering mess and me into a cackling hyena. Flying really does make the whole 'I'm taller than you' card completely worthless.

An impatient cough from behind me instantly stopped that though.

I turned to face Batman, who was apparently done with his interrogation and standing right behind us, and snapped to attention. I was mildly amused to see Birdbrain do the same thing next to me.

"I have the location. Let's go." Was all he said before turning on a heel and stalking off.

Robin scampered after him while I moved a bit slower. The only reason Batman was letting me tag along was because I promised to hang back and not draw attention to myself, which was a bit boring. But on the other hand I got to watch him do his whole stealthy ninja thing.

It was always fun learning more of that.

But anyway, the whole reason for the interrogation was because Batman had heard from one of his League friends that a bunch of thieves had stolen something from an out of town museum. Not normally the kind of thing that would be a big deal, but apparently the thing the thieves had run off with was actually a magical artifact from somewhere that could rip open dimensional portals or something.

You didn't need to be a genius to figure out that letting a bunch of thieves hold onto that was a bad idea at best, Apokoliptic at worst. Literally.

I didn't want some random person summoning Darkseid to Earth until I got waaaay stronger.

-o-

As it turned out, the thieves had holed up in a safehouse of one of the local crime bosses, though 'safehouse' was stretching it a little. The place was a mansion!

And they were definitely expecting trouble because I could sense guards moving all over the place.

Of course none of them would be able to stop me, especially since I could just fly up to the roof or a window. Didn't seem to stop Batman much either, because he guided the two of us through their security like it almost wasn't even there.

It was actually pretty neat to see because I thought it would all be about sticking to the darkest shadows and stuff, but he hid us in places where lights would mess up the guards' night vision so even if they looked right at us, they couldn't see us.

Between that and just generally sneaking around, it took the three of us all of five minutes to find a door and slip inside without anyone knowing we were here. And that included the thirty seconds it took Birdbrain to pick the lock.

Once we were inside it was much less about slipping around unnoticed and more about searching the mansion fast enough that no one could sound the alarm and run. According to Batman's source there were three places the stolen artifact would probably be. Inside the main office, because the owner had a hidden safe in there, somewhere. The garage, because they could easily move their stuff if needed. Or on the thieves themselves, cause they didn't trust the people they were hiding with to not just take the artifact for themselves.

My bet was on that last one but we had to search everywhere anyway.

Well, Batman and Robin did.

I had no clue how to go around searching for hidden treasure without just blowing the place up and hoping I found it, and randomly blowing up magical things I knew nothing about was probably a bad idea. So I just stayed out of the way while they worked while keeping an eye out for any guards coming to check the areas we were in.

Sure enough while we did find a bunch of stuff I'm sure Batman was going to enjoy handing over to his police friends later, we didn't find the thing we were here for in the garage or office. So that meant it was up to me to find out which of the people in the mansion were the ones we were after. And turns out? Wasn't that hard.

All I had to do was point out each group of ki signatures not obviously on patrol and check to see if they were who we were looking for.

We were three groups down before I realized there was a group hiding in an area that didn't seem to have a door to it. Then it was just a matter of time before Batman found a secret entrance that let us sneak up on them without much trouble.

"...guys sure it's supposed to glow when you touch this?"

"It's some ancient Greek doodad. Who knows what it's supposed to do."

"Yeah, for all we know it's Wonder Woman's diary. The important thing is that it's worth millions. As soon as we get a hold of our buyer? We're set for life."

While the crime fighting duo prepared to enter the room, I heard the thieves talking. So they didn't actually know what they stole? That seemed stupid. That's how you ended up getting cursed or releasing sealed up demons.

"I dunno, why'd we have to pick Gotham as the handover point anyway? What's gonna happen if the Batman shows up?" The nervous one said. "And you sure this won't give us, like, super-cancer or something?"

"He won't show up." one of the thieves said confidently. "The Bat is good, but we did this out of town and kept our heads down the whole time. No one's gonna know where we are or what we have until we're long gone. And really? Super-cancer? That's not a thing."

I grinned at the timing, because the looks on their faces when Batman walked around the corner with me and Birdbrain right behind him were priceless.

"You have something that doesn't belong to you."

Even funnier than the 'we-are-so-screwed' faces all of them had were the desperate scrambles by two of the thieves to pull some kind of handgun, only for Batman and Birdbrain to knock it out of their hands immediately with one of their boomerang things.

The third guy, the one holding what I assumed was the artifact, was a little smarter because he didn't move when I pointed a finger at him, a tiny ball of yellow Ki sitting menacingly on the tip.

"...no one's gonna know, huh?" one of them muttered, rubbing his sore hand.

"Shut up, Perry."

"Sorry guys, better luck never." Birdbrain mocked. "Now, you wanna give up nice and easy or do we have to beat you up first."

The smart one looked between us, his two buddies, and the artifact. "...nah, you got us. Don't really feel like getting my teeth knocked out right now." and tossed the artifact to me.

He really was the smart one of the bunch.

I caught the thing and looked it over. Thanks to all the time on Themyscira I had a pretty good idea of what their stuff looked like and this definitely would have fit right in.

At first glance it was a flat bronze disk with some really intricate night themed carvings on it. Two girls standing under a tree looking up at the night sky. The use of sapphires as stars was also a pretty neat touch too, especially since they seemed to glow on their own.

I guess that was what the guy was talking about.

Turning it over I saw it was actually a mirror. Of course instead of glass it looked like someone had taken a bunch of silver and pounded it really flat. Oh hey, this side was glowing t—

-Robin POV-

Robin's jaw dropped open as he watched the annoying Saiyan girl who had been following them all night get swallowed up by a bright silver beam coming from the face of what was apparently an ancient Greek doom laser masquerading as a mirror.

It was only when the beam dissipated and the mirror fell to the ground with a heavy thunk that he broke out of his stupor and rushed to where Califa had been standing.

Absolutely nothing remained to show the girl had been there.

No soot, blood, or even little meat chunks.

The mirror was no help either.

The small glow he had noticed when it was being tossed over was completely gone and the only thing being reflected on it was the ceiling.

Califa was just…gone.

Robin hesitantly reached out to touch the mirror, only for the iron handed grip of his mentor to hold him back.

He almost wanted to argue, but one glance at the absolutely intense glare on Bru- Batman's face made the Boy Wonder keep quiet.

Batman gave him an almost imperceptible nod and turned his attention to the three thieves they had cornered. Three thieves that suddenly looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.

"I want answers." The Dark Knight growled. "Talk…"

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AN: And there you go. The end of Growing Pains...

Just Kidding...but could you imagine if I left it there?

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