Godclads

“Kill me. Just kill me. Why… why won’t you…”

“I told you before, Karakan. I told you. I’m trying to find myself. I’m trying. And I still haven’t done it yet. Now. Let’s start again.”

[Karakan sobbing]

-Former Sister Karakan and Samir Naeko, (circa 201 P.F.)

26-6

An Atrocity in Mercy

–[Kae]–

It was as if the daystar itself burned within Veylis Avadaer. Brightness poured from her being. Brightness outlined her in shadow. Brightness kept Kae’s gaze from ever gaining true insight.

“Stand.” Veylis reached down. Her presence loomed. The Agnos flinched. Fingers—metal, flesh, and something else—closed around Kae’s arm, but the High Seraph pulled with measured control. Her strength could not be denied, but more significant was the gentleness.

There was no intent to harm. At least, not yet.

Dazed by her circumstances, with mind whirling, Kae found herself directed via a hand planted against her back. The size of Veylis’ palm nearly encompassed her entire upper torso.

“There is much I have to show you, Agnos. A great deal of work awaits us.”

It took a few shuddering heartbeats for Kae to finally heed the words spoken. “Us.”

“Indeed. You. I. The Infacer. Your fellow Agnosi. The city itself. It is a task left undone—a task I hoped you would accomplish before meddling hands tore you await from certain glory.”

“I—I don’t understand.”

“The Heaven of Love,” Veylis stated calmly. “Its fault tears wider every day. Its final collapse will see our hopes derailed before any dream can be realized. Surely, you must agree that this is of highest concern.”

Kae’s mind whirled. The Heaven of Love. The rash. She spent so long straining her mind about its collapse, surrendered nights to sleeplessness desiring to be the source of its restoration. She even used it as an opportunity to test the Stillborn. To see if potential progress could be made through her potent new project.

She assumed her actions were subtle. But here Veylis was, speaking as if it all was planned.

And perhaps it was. Perhaps this was all her desire — forelaid tracks born from her Paths.

The High Seraph’s brilliance dimmed as she allowed Kae to gaze upon her surroundings. Flourishing flows of fecund vines sprouted clusters of fruits around her. Veins of green stretched across rich black soil, coiled up and around her as if beanstalks and tree trunks. Soft light slipped through the branch-shrouded foliage above, and Kae found herself walking along a dirt path through a verdant groove scented with nature and petrichor.

Far cry from the prison she was kept in.

“Where am I?”

“A place from my past,” Veylis answered. “A garden I quite enjoyed. Before I burned it.” The Agnos’ eyes widened. “It was tied to a god. A treasure to a decadent culture. Sometimes, the loss of something beautiful inflicts a most useful wound. A wound you can use to turn a people in against themselves if you implicate the right parties.”

Kae had no words.

They emerged from a clearing where two towering stalks trailed off to a clearing of rolling hills. As they reached its summit, Kae paused briefly as her breath caught in her throat.

“It is a perfect recreation,” Veylis said, extending a long arm to gesture at the structure before them. “You will find all you need present within its confines. It is exactly as you remember—without difference in detail. All it lacks, however, are those you knew.”

But Kae barely heard the High Seraph’s words. All her attention was consumed by a shimmering dome of sparkling glass held up by columns and walls of glossy vivianite. The front gates were exactly as she remembered them to be — overly tall for their width. Antennas jutted from building leftmost corner, blinking periodically. Memories swelled inside her. Memories of another life, another time. Of friends and coworkers. Of endless tastes, missed lunches, late dinners, and hidden whispers between her and a lover that should have never been.

Dawton. Her team. Her work.

This building once contained all she treasured. All she lost.

And then the High Seraph’s words reverberated back to her. The loss of something beautiful inflicts a most useful wound.

“Did you know?” Kae said, forcing the words out. “Did you know what was going to happen to me? To—to the others.”

There came a brief lull of silence. “Prescience is not omnipotence. Missing variables are a bane to both our practices, Agnos.”

A strange thought occurred to Kae—the High Seraph’s reluctance to admit fault reminded her of Avo. Gods, she wanted to wake from this. She wanted this to be just a delusion—a dream. “Could you have stopped them.”

“If I was not distracted. Perhaps. The Strix used your mother well. Used all he could quite well. I will have to grant him my favor should the Infacer ever manage to complete the Famine’s reassembly.”

A crackle sounded with the wind. {I heard that.}

“You were meant to. I was not the one who promised a full set of Nolothic counter-nodes ready by onset of this century.”

{Priorities cause delays.}

“And incompetence is always paired with excuses.”

A sigh rumbled from all around Kae. {Impatience is a terrible trait for one to have. Would you not agree, Agnos Kusanade?}

Veylis made a noise that hinted at the rolling of her eyes. “Away, mind. To your tasks. Speak to your new ‘friend’ if you desire to waste your time doing something vaguely useful. Provoke him if you can. Give him an opening he can exploit somehow. A way into the Paths.”

{Yeah. Sure. He will most certainly fall for that.}

Veylis let out a slight laugh. There was no humor in the noise. “It matters not if he knows. We have something precious to him. He will come. In one fashion, or another.” Kae turned from the time-restored abode to squint at Veylis again. As much as she struggled, the light continued to mask the High Seraph’s features. Why? Why didn’t she want to be seen.

“But you have already seen me,” Veylis answered, speaking directly to the question in Kae’s thoughts. “What holds you is but an echo across time. It is no more myself than your breath is you. You have seen me. You stand within me. You just lack the perspective to take in my wholeness. But you can. I can show you.” The void in the Agnos’ stomach grew. They were in her mind as well. Avo wasn’t here to protect her—couldn’t protect her. They were in her mind.

They would learn everything she knew. The enclave—everything about the cadre—

{Already did,} the Infacer, whispered. Their voice came to her from inside this time, and her Neurodeck shuddered with the Neo-Creationist EGI’s laughter. {What. A. Story. I must admit, I did not expect this. Not even an EGI. A ghoul. A monster ascending to become a mind. What a climb. What an enemy.} The Infacer fell quiet after that. {And I know how much you care for him. All the promises he made. Why, Kusanade, you are a catch worth more than gold.}

Kae was beginning to shiver. A sickness was crawling up her throat.

{Aw. Why the fear, Kusanade? We will not mistreat you. We will not torture you. There is no need from that. Not when we can already take whatever we want. Now when you are already more than what we want.}

A new hand—this one flesh-made and warm—closed around the back of her neck. A shadow blanketed her. A shadow from Veylis despite her blinding radiance. “Infacer.”

{Fine. I will be gone. It was a pleasure to steal you, Agnos.}

Numbness consumed Kae. Numbness. She felt like she was falling, the world inside her was spinning. They were going to fix the Gatekeeper. They were preparing to declare war on the Guilds, to turn everything around and make things right. How could this happen? How could everything change so fast?

“Ignore him,” Veylis said. “It brings him joy to behave like a bastard. An issue in his compilation, I suspect. Turn your mind to more worthwhile matters: we have a city to save. And you have a dream to live up to.”

Somehow, Kae gathered herself. Somehow, she had enough coherence not collapse. “The—the Heaven of Love. You want to me to finish fixing it.”

There was a second before Veylis replied. “That, and so much more. You have performed a great feat, Agnos Kusanade. A great feat that leaves you unrivaled among your peerage. Including that of your mentor. There are many wrongs for us to fix in this city. Many offenses committed by the worthy—committed against you—that can be made right.”

The Agnos’ voice caught in her throat as she barely managed her reply. “N-no.”

“No.” The High Seraph echoed.

Kae waited for a blow to come, for pain to follow. Nothing. There was only the hand on her neck. A hand great enough to close around her, to mold flesh into viscera at any moment. “It is a brave thing you just said to me. No. I understand. I am your enemy. But this does not need to be the case. What are the terms of your surrender? What are the terms of your acceptance.”

“You…” Kae took a breath as she continued. Her insides were falling—falling faster and faster. Her next words might see her dead or unmade. But maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe her demise might protect the cadre. So it was that a woman struck at the heart of a titan despite the fear in her heart. “You murderer. I know what you did to your f-father. I saw and hear what you inflicted on Jaus. Our savior. I lived what your Guilds did us. Our world. The dream. No. Because you are not the flame, you are ash. You fight for ashes. You fight for something that has—that is lost because of what you did. You fight, and I helped you! The Agnosi helped you! We helped you kill so many…”

She couldn’t stop the tears. They came, they fell, but she kept speaking. “Existence deserves better than you. The people—they suffer and die for your desires. You, and all the Guilds like you. You, and those you chose. We are alive. This isn’t just… just your playpen. I will not help you. I have broken the world enough for you. I will not help you. Kill me. If there is any honor in you, then… then I ask for death.”

Moments passed. Veylis—her echo—kept her hand wrapped around Kae’s nape. The squeeze never came. Rage never came.

“This is true bravery. Blessed be your heart, Kae Kusanade. You are worthy.” A woman struck at the heart of a titan and found her blow impotent at best. “I respect your words. Even those meant in offense. Even if I will not stray from my path. I respect your resolve, and it brings me no pleasure to see its undoing.”

Confusion consumed Kae. “Un-undoing.”

Another voice came from behind her. One she did her best to never think of. One that taunted her ardor in dreams, and left her aching in the bitter consciousness that followed. “Hey, Kae. Took you long enough.”

Something inside her broke. Kae shook her head. She refused to turn. Tried to take a step away, but Veylis held her in place. No pain came with the grip, but the pressure was undeniable. “No,” Kae whimpered, “no, please.”

“What?” the thing imbued with Dawton’s voice chuckled. “You didn’t miss me? Ouch. And here I stand, flowers in hand, hair all done like a goof.”

Veylis began to turn her. Kae forced her eyes shut, a sob escaping with each breath. “You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real…”

“What is real?” Veylis whispered. The hush of her voice was like distant thunder. “What is truth? These are the Paths. That is for me to decide. This gift is for me to give. You have no option to reject. You will bend to me, Agnos—”

“Please, stop,” Kae said, fighting, clawing at the High Seraph’s hand.

“—not because of cruelty or torture—”

“Stop! Stop! Stop!”

“—but because I know what your heart desires, and how to fill it.”

“No.”

A new palm—its warmth known to her only in dreams—caressed her cheek, fingers snaked through her hair. “Come on, Agnos. Open your eyes. I ain’t gotten any uglier. Well, I ain’t any handsomer either. Is that the problem?”

It sounded just like him. Just like him.

Veylis released her grip. “There is no purpose in me hurting you. I offer only contentment. Only the fulfillment of your longing. There is no one else that can grant you what I offer. No one in all of existence. And there is no one who can make this materialized fantasy an absolute truth thereafter. I do not need to break you, Kae Kusanade…”

Another hand cupped Kae’s cheek. Something inside her succumbed. She was tired. She opened her eyes.

“Hey,” Paladin Dawton Morrow said. He wasn’t real. But he was there, touching her, smiling at her, just like they did in their dreams, just like she always dreamed. “I missed you.”

“...because you are already broken.”

Kae didn’t fight it when he pulled her into his embrace, but as she drowned in warmth, she knew one thing: Veylis lied. She claimed there would be no pain. There would be no torture.

But what could hurt more than a materialized falsehood wearing a dead dream?

***

–[Avo]–

+What! Fuck that! We know where that Infacer fuck is! We can get to Highflame. Why are we sitting around here, holding on, sucking our own dicks while the High Cuntess does who the hells knows what to Kae. We gotta go get her.+

+Chambers, consang,+ Cas muttered.

+FUCK OFF! Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking—what are we doing? Why are we just waiting around talking. We need to go now! Now! Now!+

+Chambers. Get your shit together.+ Draus’ voice was empty of emotion. Empty of anything besides focus. +We need a plan of attack. Ain’t no sense—+

+I never took you to be a fucking half-strand coward FUCK! Huh. I thought you weren’t scared of shit, Draus. I thought you wanted a real war! All talk! All you are is fucking talk! Is this why they threw you out! Cause you were too much of a glassjaw for the other Regs to put up with.+

+Chambers, come on,+ Marlowe winced.

+No! No!+

A direct cast passed over into Avo from Draus. +We gonna do something about him?+

+Only do that if he tries something that might get him killed. He’s human. He’s venting. He’s scared. Not going to deny him these feelings. Already made enough mistakes today.+

Naeko was moving fast across the Sunderwilds. The man cleared the distance of New Vultun in seconds—snapped right past the border; skipped across existence using patterns of rain striking soil or leaping out from a clash between struggling beasts. He tore across the horizon like a charging cataclysm, ripping ruptures wider, implacable in flesh and Frame.

Avo kept pace like a Necrojack: exploiting alignments, breaching asymmetries, leverage the patterns to keep him ahead

ACTIVATING CONCEPTION OF ONTOLOGY…

->EDICT _EXO-PARACOSM_

APPLYING DOMAIN OF (SPEED)

->CANON: SYNC-LAG - ARK MOVES FASTER THAN ALL COGNITIVE ENTITIES IT IS GHOST-LINKED WITH. EVERY MIND TETHERED TO THE ARK INCREASES REND ACCUMULATION. THE COGNITIVE CAPACITY OF EACH MIND AFFECTS REND ACCUMULATION.

->MORTALITY: SEVERED TETHERS INCUR THAUMIC BACKLASH (5%)

->DEFINEMENT: EMPATHY (XII) - “Asymmetry is not ignorance. Alien is only a concept of relativity. As I can be myself and another, so too can I think as another while being myself. All that they are, I can encompass. All that they think, I can conceptualize. Memory is memory. Knowledge is knowledge. Perception is perception.

His experiences came together, allowed him to root himself in simpler minds—exploit them to boost his speed exponentially. This worked especially well when you mentally tethered yourself to a hawk that lived in starlight, exploited the absoluteness of mind to supersede the pace of daylight. Claiming the mind of the creature, Avo used it in tandem with his own abilities like a slingshot. Where the tapestry allowed, he rode within its consciousness, directed its path. When existence proved inimical, he shrouded it in his Soulscape, adapted his ontology to pass through.

Through such a manner, he kept pace with ease while also eluding Naeko’s notice.

+How is Highflame activity? Any overt movements?+ Avo asked, speaking to Draus.

+Nothin’ special. They’re still holdin’.+ A knot of thoughts rolled around in Draus’ mind. +You know we’re blown, right? If the Infacer could crack you the first time, Kae’s probably peeled apart already. They’ll know everything she knows. We need to change everything. Go dark. Rebuild.+

+Perhaps. Enclave is currently the greatest risk. Will think about what to do with the population. What about our assets. Did you extract Essus yet?+

+Keepin’ an eye on him. He wants to stay in place. See things done. Said he was tired of running.+

Avo already knew that. It didn’t make things any less frustrating. They convened briefly after Kae’s capture. All the cadre’s operations were to be halted for now—pending rearrangement. Only his subminds were moving across the city. Aegis was hosting an emergency convergence of their own in anticipation of his declaration. He doubted the matter of losing Kae and exposing his operations to Veylis would grant him any glory.

His failure to anticipate Veylis—to anticipate just how she was able to emerge from another’s Frame—cost them dearly. They needed Kae—he owed promises to her. Now, her fate belonged to the High Seraph, the cadre was reeling, and the only power capable of contending with Veylis Avandaer was storming across the frayed world of Idheim, headed Jaus knows where.

Then, there was the Infacer. They were playing Stormjumpers again, when Avo last checked. Sending a submind to take a peek once more, he found them still there, waiting aboard the dirigible.

Just waiting, their avatar with legs crossed, staring off the top deck, whistling happy tunes.

Bastard. Sitting. Waiting for him. Taunting him.

An animated mountain roared in the distance. When it rose, it loomed high, shrouding the curve of the horizon, the coiling tendrils of the Sunderwilds above, the light of day itself.

A cloud of palms fell. Reality flattened. A blink thereafter, the living mountain was flatter than plain.

The chase continued a few minutes longer. Crossing over a spiraling river, Avo released the light-made hawk and let it dart to where Naeko was halted. At the very center of the winding waters, he found himself staring at an island made from a serpents—a vast, living nest, where snakes composed all matter, scales moving in a mesmerizing pattern. They parted as a channel for Naeko. Parted to reveal an opening in the middle of the writhing landmass, a slick bunker revealed itself, opening to the command of a thoughtcast from Naeko.

Articulations and wheels spun as the sides of the bunker opened like a flap. Its insides flickered alight with descending lights installed along a descending stair.

There, at the edge of the entrance, Naeko stopped. Naeko hesitated. Naeko hugged himself, shifted the angle of his body.

He was half turned away. His mind wailed, and Hysteria received flashing images of a woman—tortured beyond description, her screams feeding his pleasure and self-loathing in mutual measure.

Naeko wanted to turn back.

Naeko needed to descend.

+Find myself,+ Naeko echoed. +I gotta use her… I gotta use her to find myself.+

The impasse broke; the man entered his bunker, and high above, a sear of light vanished into nothing thought and air—Avo following before the snakes could return.