Glorious Vanity (SI LitRPG)

"I-I am sorry, Vain. I do not know what came over me..." Freyr refused to meet me in the eye, her face still a bright red.

I laughed and then walked over to pull her into a hug. "Don't worry about it. You were pretty cute just then."

Freyr's eyes lit up and she said, "Really?"

"Really. Now, everything good? You aren't injured anywhere, right?"

Freyr smiled and said, "Now that I am with you, nothing could ever happen to me, Vain."

"Damned straight."

A cough echoed from up above. After that, Gale called out and said, "I do not mean to interrupt your touching reunion, but we are still in hostile territory."

Freyr pursed her lips, looking disappointed.

Seeing that, I gave her a quick peck on the lips and said, "Don't worry, Wifey. Plenty of time to relax later. Right now, we've got a scenario to clear."

Freyr's face turned even more red, but she let out a bright smile and said, "Yes, H-Hus- I-I mean, Vain."

[A Trickster God is disappointed at his sister.]

[A Phantom Thief chuckles.]

[A Goddess of Magic marvels at how cute her daughter is.]

[Many gods curse your name.]

[Many goddesses praise your actions.]

[A Goddess of Dawn lets out a wistful sigh.]

Geez. These gods really have too much time on their hands, huh?

I swiped the messages away and then grabbed Freyr's hand, leading her towards the stairs.

A short walk later through some dusty boxes and we arrived back on the first floor. The moment we did, Aqua ran over to hug Freyr.

"Freyr! Did you get hurt?"

Freyr smiled and hugged Aqua back. "I am fine, Aqua. But I should be asking you that." She ended the hug and gave Aqua a once over, frowning at the blue-haired princess's dusty and torn clothing. "Did you get hurt?"

Aqua tugged the hem of her shirt and said, "I-I'm fine. It was a bit scary, but Gale and Vain helped me through it."

I reached into my backpack and pulled out a chocolate bar before handing it over to Aqua. "Don't worry about it too much. Like I said, as long as you guys are with me, things will work out."

Probably.

Gale walked over, having just scanned the area, and then nodded his head towards Freyr. "It is good to see that you are unharmed, Lady Freyr."

Freyr shook her head. "Please, just call me Freyr." She smiled and said, "I believe we are close enough for that, are we not?"

Gale smiled. "I am grateful for the sentiment. But I would rather not test Sir Vain's patience in being so friendly with his wife."

Freyr blushed at that and then placed her hands on her cheeks. "W-Wife...? W-What are you- I-I mean... There has not even been a ceremony yet, so..."

Aqua gave Freyr a blank stare and then looked at me.

"What?"

Aqua rolled her eyes and then started munching on her chocolate bar. After that, she looked around and said, "What do we do now then, Vain?" She frowned and said, "You said you would leave it up to us now, but... What are we supposed to do?"

Freyr blinked. "Hm?" She looked at me and said, "You plan to leave things to Aqua and Gale, Hub- V-Vain?"

I wrapped my arm around Freyr's shoulder and said, "Just call me Hubby already, Freyr. That ship has long sailed."

[A Phantom Thief laughs at your boldness.]

[A Loving Angel is giddy with joy and offers to sponsor you.]

[The Inviolable Morning Star chuckles.]

[The Allfather stares meaningfully at his spear.]

[The Lady of Valhalla drags the Allfather away.]

Freyr glanced off to the side and then blushed.

It seemed like she got those messages too.

While Freyr was recovering, I looked at Aqua and said, "Since you're a magician, you're pretty good at aiming, right?"

Aqua blinked and then slowly said, "Yes...? Why do you ask?"

"Good. Then follow me. I've got the perfect plan to get you and Gale back up to speed to carry us through this scenario."

-V-

Aqua watched Vain with dull eyes. "...Are you really an ordinary human, Vain?"

Vain paused in the middle of taping a pipe together and said, "You keep asking me that question. I don't think you know what it means."

Aqua nodded. "I'm starting to agree."

After his declaration, Vain led everyone back up the stairs to a room on the top floor of the building. As he did, he occassionally went around to various rooms, ducking inside each for a brief moment before coming back out.

And then when they reached the room, the purpose of Vain's brief excursions became clear.

A floor littered with knickknacks and useless trinkets. Broken shards of metal, porcelain, and various materials.

To anybody's eyes, it just looked like junk.

And yet, right before Aqua's eyes, that junk was being assembled into usable objects. Not only just usable objects, but a weapon.

It was unfamiliar to her. Nothing like that existed in Elemens, but she had seen a few of the more senior Chosen carry around similar weapons in Eden.

A 'gun.'

...At least, that was what Aqua remembered it being called.

Gale leaned outside of the room's entrance and checked the surroundings. "No enemies in sight." He looked back inside the room and said, "It seems that you were right, Sir Vain. The undead have been lured outside by the commotion from the other Chosen."

Vain picked up the gun and raised it up, looking down the top of the barrel before loading in some metal shards in the side. After that, he pulled a mechanism on the gun and then nodded. "Of course I'm right. In this stage, everything I say goes. Though I doubt that's going to hold going forward." He chuckled and then set the gun aside before grabbing more scraps. "I've made quite a few gods upset at how easily we're dealing with this... and they're probably going to be even more upset once we start moving."

A carefree smile. Practiced ease assembling scraps into something usable...

Aqua glanced at Freyr, sitting off to the side and staring at Vain with a bright smile.

...Again, Aqua still didn't get Vain. He was a seemingly ordinary man who turned out to be anything but.

Someone who treated her a bit harsh but cared for her. A man who charmed Freyr in just a few short days, but who didn't take advantage of the goddess and instead tried to do his best to help her. Someone who was pulled into Babel against his will and with missing memories but continued to advance unwaveringly like Gale.

"Okay." Vain nodded to himself and then stood up. "It's a bit rough since I don't know exactly how it works, but this scenario's setting lets me fudge the details a bit. Should be enough for the normal zombies at least."

Aqua blinked and then saw Vain looking at her. Seeing that, she felt a bit flustered and said, "W-What? Got something to say?"

"Yep." Vain handed the long-barreled gun to her and said, "You'll be our sniper. Since you're a magician, you're long range anyway, so this should help with your skillset. Now, for a quick rundown..."

-V-

The rooftop of the apartment building. After making a full clear, I led our little impromptu party upstairs to start Operation Build-a-Bus.

[Are you sure that this will work?]

I stared at the adjacent building and then lit the improvised pipe bomb I made earlier. "It will definitely work. Rather than making things easier, I'm upping the difficulty so causality will definitely be on our side."

[Many gods are staring at you with curiosity.]

[A few gods are placing bets on how long you will last with this plan.]

[The Flame Giant boldly proclaims you will perish before the end of the hour.]

"Yeah, you wish, Surtr." I chucked the pipe bomb towards the next building over.

One second.

Two.

Three-

*BOOM*

A giant explosion rocked the next building, sending bricks falling to the floor below as a hole appeared in the wall.

And a few seconds later, those bricks were joined by freefalling zombies. Zombies that easily got back up after they smacked against the ground.

Damn. No fall damage, huh?

[That would be too easy, I guess.]

Seems so.

"By the goddess." Aqua let out a hushed whisper and said, "Such devastation is possible without using a spell?"

I brushed off my hands and said, "You ain't seen nothing yet. Gale?"

The knight... Well, right now he was just a <Jock>. But Gale stepped forward and nodded. Raising the makeshift guns I gave him, he pointed both towards the group of zombies and said, "Just aim and pull the trigger?"

"Yep. And the head is the weak spot."

"Understood."

An immediate response. The moment I gave him the cue, Gale took aim and fired his guns.

*BANG*

An explosion in the distance, followed by a burst of flame. And the cause of that...

[The <Lesser Flames of Muspell> incorporated into <Scrap Bullets> have created <Napalm Rounds>.]

"Eek!" Aqua flinched and landed on her butt. After that, she looked up at me and said, "W-What was that?! What in Elemens was that, Vain?!"

I shrugged and said, "Our escape ticket."

It was, uh... a bit more destructive than I anticipated though... 

Freyr eyed the flames quickly spreading throughout the city and said, "...I am beginning to see why Surtr is so focused on you. At this rate, will you not usurp his Authority, Husband?"

[The Flame Giant roars in frustration.]

"Uh... Maybe."

Gale's eyes widened in shock at the aftermath of his attack before his expression turned back to his usual serious look. "I see." He turned to face me and said, "You are an incredible weaponsmith, Sir Vain."

"I'm not, but thanks."

[...You're a cheat. You know that?]

Only in this stage. But yes. And *damn* am I loving it.

[Many gods of production are staring intently at you.]

[Many gods of warfare are observing you.]

[A number of gods are declaring that your actions defy causality!]

[WARNING: A quorum of gods have been reached.]

Eh?

[Calculating the causality of your actions...]

[...Confirmed. Your actions fall within the 'setting' of <Dead Rising> and are compatible with this world.]

[Your archetype is similar to <A Certain Max Level Newbie> and <A Viral Catastrophe Survivor>.]

[Recalculating your parameters in accordance to the new evaluation...]

[<World Creator (Minor)> has been partially unlocked. Compatible weapons may now be freely crafted.]

...

[...You're a freaking cheat.]

...I guess so?

[Some gods collapse to their knees in despair.]

[Many gods laugh and send their blessings for the amusing sight.]

[The rewards will be calculated upon the conclusion of the scenario.]

...Man. I love being a cheat Korean webtoon MC.