Genshin Impact: Marechaussee Hunter

Alex felt a mix of excitement and nerves—wait, no, his name was Lucien now.

I can't believe it… I reincarnated into Genshin Impact!

Holy shit—I think I just shit myself.

No, actually… I definitely did.

A sudden, unpleasant odor filled the air. Petronilla wrinkled her nose, her expression shifting to one of mild disgust.

"Alright," she sighed, pinching her nose. "Which one of you did the deed?"

Her red eyes narrowed, flicking between the two of us.

Without hesitation, I jabbed a finger at Clorinde.

Clorinde whipped around, eyes blazing, and pointed right back at me.

Lucien's eyes widened in shock.

Petronilla sighed. "Lucien, I should wipe you down, but… honestly, I have no idea how to change a baby's diaper. So, you'll just have to bear with me."

Wait, what?

Before I could process what was happening, she grabbed me and—oh gods—flipped me upside down.

NOOOO, MY DIGNITY!

My face burned with humiliation as she wiped me down—not once, not twice, but so many damn times I lost count.

This woman couldn't even figure out how to put a diaper on!

By the time she was done, I was practically a broken man.

Petronilla wiped her hands with a satisfied nod. "Alright, all done! Now… time to change yours."

She turned to Clorinde.

Lucien groaned, burying his tiny face in his tiny hands.

This is humiliating.

I should have been reborn as an adult. Or at least a teenager.

Not an infant.

As he lay there, Lucien's thoughts drifted to his past life. His parents. His friends.

Well… not that he really cared about his parents. They had done a number on him growing up. His father, a drunk. His mother, an addict. There was nothing worth missing.

As he thought about his friends, Oh God. I hope they're okay. I was the idiot who didn't wear a seatbelt.

And yet… in some ways, being reborn here should have been a blessing—a fresh start, a new world.

The problem?

He had barely started playing Genshin before dying.

Sure, he knew the basics—something about the Traveler searching for their lost sibling. But as for the deeper lore? Nothing. He had just spam-clicked through most of the dialogue.

Great.

Before he could dwell on it any further, Petronilla suddenly clapped her hands.

"Right! Time for your training."

Lucien barely had time to react. What?! Are you crazy? We're just infants!

She grabbed both him and Clorinde, bolted out of the house, and—

THREW THEM INTO THE LAKE.

YOU CRAZY BITCH! SHE'S GONNA DROWN US!

Cold water swallowed him whole. He kicked, flailed, and fought his way to the surface, gasping for air. Beside him, Clorinde did the same.

Somehow, they managed to stay afloat.

Lucien's heart pounded. It was barely even morning, and he had already almost died.

"Oh my, you both managed to float on your first try!" Petronilla mused, completely unfazed. "Good. Now, I'm going to throw you again. As you age, you'll learn to swim properly. This will build strength in your arms and legs—excellent for endurance and stamina."

Lucien stared at her, horrified.

This woman is insane.

Petronilla held true to her word. Over and over again, she picked them up and tossed them into the water.

I'm going to die before I even turn one!

By the time Petronilla finally decided they'd had enough, both he and Clorinde were completely drained. As soon as she set them down, they passed out from exhaustion.

When they woke up, their stomachs ached with hunger.

Petronilla stood over them, holding a bottle. "I read in a book that infants drink milk, so I got some."

She handed them each a small cup.

Lucien, thankful for anything at this point, immediately latched onto his cup and started drinking.

Clorinde, on the other hand, hesitated. She glanced at him, watching carefully, then, after a moment, mimicked his actions.

Petronilla nodded, satisfied. "Alright, you two. I'm heading out."

Lucien nearly spat out his milk.

She's leaving us? Alone?!

Before he could even process that, she was already gone.

Just like that.

He let out a sigh. Oh well. At least she had left them in a room on the ground floor.

As he sat there, Clorinde's sharp gaze locked onto him.

Damn, she's already giving me death glares.

Lucien studied her for a moment. So, she's my sister, huh? She already seemed like the serious type.

Curious, he crawled his way toward a mirror.

The reflection staring back at him confirmed it. Their hair was identical—dark blue, with hints of purple in the light. But his eyes were a striking shade of purple.

No doubt about it. They were definitely siblings.

Now what?

Being a baby is boring.

He flopped onto the floor, sighing.

Then—bang.

A tiny hand smacked him across the face.

Lucien's head jerked to the side. 

He turned to glare at Clorinde, ready to protest—

But all that came out was a pathetic string of baby noises.

"Goo… ga…!"

Clorinde huffed, looking very pleased with herself.

Oh. Right.

She must still be mad about it earlier.

Lucien groaned internally. Yeah… I probably shouldn't have blamed her for the poop.

Wait… how does she understand what I was doing? Oh, right—this is a fictional world. None of this should make sense.

He spent most of his time thinking about what to do next. Part of him was excited about the world he was in, but another part was panicking—what if he ended up dead?

Well, nothing he could do now. He sighed—he was stuck here. Unless… this was all just a dream?

He tried smacking himself with his tiny hands, but nothing happened. His sister, meanwhile, was staring at him like he'd lost his mind.

He sighed. Well, I guess I'm truly living the dream most people would want… At least he wasn't alone. He glanced at his sister, watching as she crawled around the room, curiously exploring the small space.

The room was small, with a window where sunlight streamed in, illuminating the space. A luxurious bed sat in the corner, yet the room still felt mostly empty.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

I'm a baby, for crying out loud! The frustration welled up inside him, and before he knew it, he burst into tears.

"Whaah whaah whaah!" His cries filled the room, raw and helpless.

I don't want to be a baby… He sniffled, the weight of his situation sinking in.

Noticing his distress, Clorinde crawled over and gently patted his head.

Somehow, that simple gesture calmed him down.

Right, I need to man up. First thing's first—I have to learn more about this world.

All I know is that Visions exist, granted by some mysterious force.

Fuck. I should've paid more attention to the lore.

His tiny hands scratched at his scalp in frustration.

Wait!

His tiny eyes shot wide open.

There are gods in this world!

A shiver ran through him at the thought.

What the hell am I supposed to do against them?!

He shook his tiny baby face.

First plan—learn more about Genshin. Second—get stronger.

I'm not just going to sit around and do nothing.

Suddenly, a sharp tug on his scalp.

Ouch! My hair!

He turned to see Clorinde, happily yanking away.