Futile Love

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Uljin Yu’s name was not Uljin Yu. He was Prince Ruhae. His childhood name was Yuuljin Danmok. So far, she felt Uljin was his given name and his surname Yu. She blushed when she recalled that she had called him by his childhood name only up to now when he was an adult.

How come…

Confused, she cast a glance at Ruhae. His topknot loosened when he was slapped in the face, his hair was tousled and his cheeks looked flushed. His miserable look broke her heart, but she couldn’t approach him as usual. For she was really confused if this man Yuuljin was the same person that she used to know until now.

Why didn’t he point out my blunder in advance? Why did he let me keep calling him like that up to now? Why didn’t he ever reveal his true identity to me?

Deep in her heart, Kyosul kept asking a series of questions that she couldn’t answer, nor she could infer answers to such questions.

Ruhae stood there in a rigid posture when she showed a curious look. Though his head was lowered when Bipaan slapped him in the face, he didn’t move it. It seemed that he was fully prepared to take the blame and punishment faithfully. He also had a lot of complicated thoughts in his head.

This is not the way I wanted to reveal my identity to her…

Ruhae didn’t have the intention to hide his status and name forever. He planned to reveal his identity to her someday, but he put it off from one day to another out of silly concern. He was worried that she might change her attitude when she found out later that he was not just a member of the royal family but Bipaans’s rival in the fight for the throne.

But now Ruhae was faced with the worst situation as a result of his delay. His identity was revealed by someone else, and that Bippan, his rival. He couldn’t make any excuse. Above all, he was worried he might not be able to see Kyosul again on the occasion of this incident.

There was a silence going on with three of them lost in thoughts of their own. It was Ruhae who broke the long silence first. He wanted to overcome the current difficulties as much as he could. While trying to raise his head which was slanted a bit, he made eye contact with Bipaan.

“Brother!”

The moment he said that Bipaan again slapped him in the face, but this time his head was not turned. Though he felt burning on his face, he stared at Bipaan strongly. Bipaan’s eyebrows wiggled.

Seeing him unscathed and resolute, Bipaan twisted his lips and said sarcastically, “Did you call me brother? Then, you have committed the sin of playing with my wife and coveting my place at the first in line to succeed the throne.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. How could I dare to commit that kind of injustice? It’s just your misunderstanding. What I mean is…”

Ruhae tried his best to deny Bipaan’s false charges, but he couldn’t continue.

At that moment, his conscience severely rebuked him.

How can you reply? If not for that reason, why did you fail to reveal your true identity to Kyosul? Can you say you don’t have the slightest indecent desire for her? Can you say clearly you don’t have any desire to make Kyosul, your brother’s wife and Crown Princess, your woman?

Ruhae couldn’t answer each of these questions arising deep inside. After all, giving up his defiant attitude, he kneeled before Bipaan and lowered his head.

“I have made a mistake. I committed disloyalty against you, Your Excellency Crown Prince.”

“As you repent yourself, let me refrain from punishing you any more.”

Speaking to him coldly, Bipaan turned away, then cast a glance at Kyosul.

She already squatted down and leaned her back against the tree. He couldn’t think straight as she had yet to analyze why Ruhae hid his identity from Kyosul and Kyosul called him by his given name only. He didn’t try to help Kyosul, now leaning her back against the tree.

He just spoke to her in an icy tone, “Crown Princess, keep it in mind that you call somebody by name only between husband and wife in the Mok Kingdom. So, be careful!”

“…..”

She showed a pretty sensitive reaction whenever Bipaan said something, but she didn’t reply at all this time. Bipaan didn’t go to the trouble saying anything more to her and issued an order to Ruhae. “It looks like the Crown Princess was surprised. Take her to her residence.”

“Yes, sir.”

Without even looking at Ruhae, who replied with his knees down, Bipaan went down the hill. The fact that Bipaan let Ruhae take care of her despite his severe rebuke was an indication of his conceit as well as his warning to Ruhae.

In other words, his conceit was that no matter how much Ruhae showed disloyalty to him, his brother would never pose a danger to him. It was also a warning that he wouldn’t sit idle at Ruhae’s second challenge to his authority. It was also an implicit pressure on Ruahe that he had better watch out carefully when it came to his conduct.

There were lots of meaningful signals between them during their short dialogue.

For a long time after Bipaan disappeared, Ruhae kneeled with his head lowered then stood up falteringly. Ruhae’s sad eyes met hers. He slowly lowered himself and saw her eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reveal my identity as Prince to you. I just wanted to make you feel comfortable as you came a long way from the Hwa Kingdom, so I didn’t reveal my identity, but I didn’t realize how big a mistake I made against you, Crown Princess.”

“No, that’s fine with me.”

Kyosul kept silent. As if he didn’t expect any answer from her, Ruhae approached her silently and helped her stand up. When he tried to lift her up by holding one of her hands, she shook it off.

“I’m fine.”

Her voice was stiff. She didn’t say it casually. Obviously, she was being careful in her conduct. She stepped back, covering her face with both hands defensively, but she bumped into the trunk of that big tree while stepping back. She always felt ‘Uljin Yu’ that she used to know was the ‘giant tree’ that she could rely on. But now he was only ‘one tree in the back garden’ to her. When she felt that way, she got choked up suddenly.

“Why?” Her voice got emotional. Was it because she had been holding back what she wanted to say? When she got emotional, her eyes were welled up with tears. “Why didn’t you tell me this in advance? Did you really act like that because you wanted to make me comfortable and feel at home?”

Ruhae couldn’t answer. Nor could he smile as usual. His solemn expression made her get bold. His forthcoming admission that he made a mistake shocked her more than ever.

“So, do you think I’m an easy girl now?”

Kyosul was embarrassed at that. Has she ever sneered at anybody? Had she ever criticized anybody like this? Out of anger and resentment against him, she put the blame on him against her will. But she was hurt when she vented her anger at him. Her face looked haggard as if she, not Ruhae, was blamed, even though she criticized him. Trying not to look at him, she walked ahead.

Her footsteps were shaky. She gave strength to her legs on purpose and moved step by step. Though she tried to focus on moving her feet, she kept thinking about what happened a moment ago. She recalled what she told him.

I wish UljinYu were the Crown Prince.

Hot tears well up in her eyes came down, after all. Her tears quickly ran down her cheeks and dropped onto her clothes.

“I wish I hadn’t made the remark…”

If she hadn’t confessed her genuine feelings about him, she would not have been so embarrassed like now, even if she realized he was the Prince. She wouldn’t have felt she was toyed with by him. She regretted she had made the confession.

Looking at her and her shaky footsteps, Ruhae followed her cautiously, so that she could not realize his shadowing.

When she arrived at the top gate, the nanny who was looking at her from the outside came running to her and asked, “What’s wrong with you? Your face doesn’t look good. Did anything wrong happen in the back garden?”

When the nanny was examining her, she suddenly fell.

“Your Highness!”

When Kyosul collapsed all of a sudden, the nanny was at a loss of what to do. Someone quickly approached her and lifted her up skillfully. With a surprised look, the nanny looked at him.

“Who are you, sir?”

“I’m Prince Ruhae.”

Shortly introducing himself, he took her in his arms and headed for the East Palace. Looking at him blankly, she came to her senses and followed him. He took her into her room and put her on the bed before going back.

Court ladies who enjoyed spreading gossip began to whisper among themselves. And since then Kyosul never went to the back garden of the outer palace. Only Ruhae went and wandered alone under the big tree in the center. When it was completely dark, he went back inside.