from zero: the dark decent

I wake up to my mum shouting at me from downstairs and my alarm blaring. I roll over and see it's 9:16 am. Shit, I'm late; I stand up and my uniform is scuffed and a bit wet from last night. My door is wide open, probably from my sisters coming in to try to wake me. My mind races with fear; I've never been late before; my attendance has always been perfect. I quickly ran down my uniform as I had no time to change, so I had to make myself look presentable and I rushed down the stairs. I put on my shoes, ignoring my mum as I rushed out the door, and I quickly ran to school. I think to myself, "Shit shit shit, this has never happened before. Why does it have to happen now!" As I arrive at school, the gate is closed; I bang on the gate, "Hello! Is anyone there?!" I shout, and then a teacher comes walking out of the main building. "Let's see who's late today," the teacher sighs, shaking their head. The teacher closes her eyes and tucks at me, "Why are you late, you troublemaker?" She opens her eyes to see me and looks genuinely surprised. "Oh! Azrael! Wait, why are you late? You're always on time?" I look at her panting a bit and speak, "Well, I overslept and I'm sorry Miss, this won't happen again!" I bow apologetically while patting my hair down to try to sort it out. She still looked shocked that I was late then said, "You're lucky you're a perfect student, I'll mark you in as early so you don't tarnish your record." She then sighed and waved me along, "Quickly go on then get to class." Then I quickly ran off. "Thank you!" I shout at her as I enter the school building. I pull out my phone to look at my timetable; I take a look and it says I have science, and biology in class 5A. I hurry to the class clearly in a rush, my legs pushing me as fast as I can walk until I reach the door and I open it. "Sorry I'm late sir, I was talking to a teacher!" The class looks back at me, and I look around and see that Shoji is playing with rubbers and making a tower with them ignoring my presence, and Ryuu is knocking it down and telling him to focus. "Ah, Azrael, this behaviour is quite uncharacteristic of you, is it not?" the teacher says with a slightly annoyed tone "Although you may have been conversing with an educator, tardiness remains unacceptable. Please proceed to find a seat." I was about to speak but stopped myself as I didn't want to get into more trouble, I walked in fully and took a seat next to Ryuu and Shoji. Shoji finally realizes I'm here and shouts at me, "Azrael! You're here! You're so late!" The teacher just sighs and carries on with the lesson. "Well, Shoji, can you not shout? And, I'm late 'cause I overslept," I sigh in embarrassment. Ryuu then says "That just sucks bro I knew I would have came to wake you up" Shoji interrupts "Me too!"I look at them with a smile and say, "Thanks, guys, honestly." I yawn, and Ryuu notices this. With a blank expression, he reaches into his bag and pulls out an energy drink, placing it in front of me. "Drink this," he says, looking at me with his blue eyes and a serious face. I take the drink from him and finish half the bottle. "I cannot thank you enough, Ryuu!" Suddenly, that strange feeling hit me again, like the one from last night, and I clutched my head. "Shit my head.." I said with a wince, my vision became blurred "Guys I don't think I'm okay-" I pass out. Shoji's energetic personality breaks as he sees me pass out "Hey Azrael you pay?!" He said with a worried tone, "Azrael!" He shakes me. "Ryuu! Go tell the teacher quick!" Shoji was worried about something that happened, while he tries to wake me back up Ryuu went and tells the teacher who also looked visibly worried after Ryuu told him. The teacher rushed over and realized I wasn't gonna wake up any time soon, so he told Ryuu and Shoji to take me to the nurse's office and leave me in there. Shoji gained his energetic side back but he still looked worried, while Ryuu fireman carried me to the nurse. Shoji was bouncing off the walls while on the way occasionally asking Ryuu if I was alright. "Shoji, we are basically at the nurse's office, so plz just stand outside because I know you'll break something while you're in there." Ryuu said with a slightly worried tone but still sounding nonchalant. "aye Captain!"He replies seemingly buzzing after what happened with me. After they get to the office Ryuu puts me on the medical bed and leaves with Shoji and they head back to class.

After a few hours, I woke up to a girl I couldn't really see her, I rub my eyes, "Hey! You're awake! I'm so glad!" She said gleefully as if she was expecting me to be okay. After I finish running my eyes I get a better look at her and she is my crush! I never thought I'd see her next to me like this, "so how are you feeling? Coz you passed out in class" She looks at me her hands in her lap smiling. I just look at her dumbfounded surprised she's here, "I uh I'm fine! Haha thanks for checking on me" I rub my head nervously and I flush a little. She smiles and says "Oh it's nothing don't worry about it! Also, it's lunchtime rn, do you want me to get you something to eat?" I nod and my stomach rumbles "Yes please I haven't eaten all day!" She chuckles and stands up and is about to leave the room she turns and says, "I'll be back in 20 mins alr" She smiles and walks off. My eyes linger on where she was for a minute until they wonder towards the window, I slowly sit up and push my legs off the side of the bed as I slowly stand up. I steadily walk to the window at the other end of the room and I just stare out and look at everyone having fun, eating and chatting with friends while I'm stuck here with this strange feeling. Then suddenly a flash of something new appeared in my vision, it was like my dream but this time I only saw a flash of it a weird world which was colourful and bright and so green and covered in nature. Suddenly the girl came back, my crush Lily, "Azrael I got you food!" I turn around and I see her holding a brown paper pouch, "come sit back down so you can eat" she pats the bed. I slowly walk back over to her, sitting down on the bed. She puts the pouch onto my lap, "So I got you a cheeseburger and pizza!" I look at her wide-eyed, "I love Pizza! Do I owe you anything tho coz I need to pay you back at least!" I grab my wallet from the bedside table and pull out some money and I try to give it to her, "Please take this!" She shakes her head, "No! I don't wanna keep your money, you don't owe me anything" She pushes my hand away, "anyways! I think you're cute so here's my number" She grabs a piece of paper from her bag and a pen and writes down her number, then passes me the paper. I blush deeply, "Um thank you…" I take it and look away. We talked for a little while but then she gets up and leaves so I was left there alone in the silence.

The school day finally came to a close, yet I found myself lingering in the nurse's office. The bright fluorescent lights buzzed softly above, creating a sterile but comforting atmosphere as she prepared for the final checks. "Now, sweetie, open your mouth wide for me," she instructed gently, her eyes focused with care as she needed to examine the back of my throat. I could feel a mix of nervousness and trust as I complied, the faint scent of antiseptic lingering in the air around us. She puts a wooden lollipop stick in my mouth to push down my tongue, "this feels weird" I say muffled by the stick as she probes around my mouth. "Okay that's good, we are finished now" she smiles pulling the stick out of my mouth, "right Azrael you gotta stay home if you're feeling faint you know coz then I don't have to fill out paperwork." She chuckles, I look at her still a bit blushed from earlier "Yeah, of course, Mrs Takumi, I just thought I could do today you know." she looks at me understanding what I said and then says "I know but well-being always comes first, but you can leave now" she pats my back as I stand and grab my things to walk out the medical room "also Azrael be careful on your way home there has been a lot of accidents recently." I nod and smile "Of course I'll be safe and you don't need to worry my house is a 10-minute walk from here" The nurse nods and lets me go. I walk down the hall through the school, I can see the teachers in their respective classrooms packing up to go home. The hall is pretty quiet and calm apart from the occasional sound coming from the boiler room or the teachers moving about, as I near the exit of the school building, the light dims into a satire glow. I take a step outside, the school day passes so slowly that it feels like I haven't seen the outside in days, as walk I bask in the radiant shine of the orange sun. As I walk to their gh the court of the school towards the gate, I remember that Lily gave me her number. So I dig into my pocket trying to find it. After a long minute of searching, I eventually find it, so I pull out my phone from my pocket and unlock it. I go to my contacts and put in her number, I just stand at the school gate, and I send her the first message "Hey." She replies almost instantly saying "Hey! I'm so glad you messaged me!" My heart flutters and my feelings for the girl are so intense, I feel something growing inside me like an obsession or maybe it's the feeling I'm of wanting to be loved. To be honest with myself, I never really felt wanted but only for my academic abilities and so that seems to me only worth. I message her back "Yes haha I wouldn't miss a chance to message you! I just got out of school so I decided to message you now." I walk out of the gate concentrated on my phone the whole time. I walked down the street messaging my crush, until a low buzz appeared I paid no attention to it, but it kept getting louder and louder. It was too late, I got rammed by a speeding car sending me ragdolling through the air, eventually I smash into the ground, my body rolling a bit as my phone landed next to me still open on the chat, my mind races. I think to myself, "Am I going to die? No this can't be! I just messaged her I can't die yet! I still don't know her feelings towards me…, I'll never know if she loved me for who I am and not for what I can do.., I just wanted to feel wanted and heard and feel properly cared about…, I'm sorry Viella and Alyssia for being a bad big brother I'm sorry…," everything suddenly goes white and my inner voice stopped.