NOVEL NEXT Chapter 143: Burning some inches!
They didn't stop until they stood staring at one final room, and holy hell, it was stuffed with goblins like a can of rotten sardines.
"I believe this is it. I am sure beyond that room is where the goblin king lays."
Melissa whispered, her voice low, tight, like she was holding back the urge to scream and start shooting.
Rae gulped so hard his throat felt dry. His heart was doing drum solos in his chest.
'This is it. Endgame time. Or we get turned into goblin chew toys.'
"So many goblins."
Rae muttered under his breath. His voice was barely a thread, but it still sounded loud in this suffocating room.
And these weren't the tiny ones from before. No, every single one of these bastards was as big as the guards they'd saw near the rune circle room.
Thick arms, wide jaws, drool glistening on their teeth like they'd just been waiting for a snack to walk in.
Melissa's chest was rising and falling fast, each breath sharp, like she was fighting herself to stay calm.
The room was chaos. Goblins stomping around, smacking each other, scratching their asses, taking shits right on the floor like animals.
The smell hit Rae's nose so hard he wanted to gag but didn't dare.
'Of course. Shit room. Why wouldn't it smell like a fucking slaughterhouse mixed with a zoo.'
The space between them was razor thin. No way to crawl through without rubbing elbows or worse, balls, with a goblin.
Rae could practically see it now, crouching his way through and bumping face-first into some goblin's sweaty green thigh.
They had to be smart here. One slip, one sound, and they were minced meat.
"Our goal is that door."
Melissa whispered, her voice almost like a hiss, pointing at the golden double door at the far end.
The thing was shining like it owned the place, every inch of it carved with glowing runes that looked way too important for goblin hands.
"I am sure he's there."
Her eyes were screaming death, like she wanted to personally rip the goblin king's head off and use it as a trophy mug.
Rae just stared at her, tapped his foot on the filthy floor, not impressed in the slightest.
Why? Because at his current crouch height all he could see were goblin asses. Big, green, sweaty asses. Some farted, some scratched, one was literally picking something out of it.
The whole room smelled like ass stew. He couldn't see anything beyond this cramped stupidity.
'Man, what are we even doing here.'
What was going to happen after they both painfully and time-consumingly snuck past these muscle-bound idiots.
What was going to happen after they entered the room. What was going to happen if they found the goblin king already dead or lying on the floor in a coma so bad he might as well stay there forever.
Rae didn't know, but if all this was going to make Melissa sleep better at night, fine.
'Well, at least after this, I can go back to my stuff.'
His stuff, of course, had nothing to do with goblins.
Obviously, he was already planning on other things. And none of those things included getting eaten alive in a goblin orgy pit.
Rae looked up at Melissa and tugged on her hand.
"What."
"Give Rae this cloak, Rae will create a distraction."
Melissa blinked like he had just told her the moon was made of cheese.
"Are you nuts. They will kill you."
"Trust in Rae."
His little face was so serious it was almost funny. Almost.
Melissa hesitated. They were crouched in the far corner where the shadows were thick and nasty, right next to the door they had slipped through.
If she gave Rae the cloak, she should still be safe. Unless some random goblin suddenly got curious and brought a torch this way.
"B-but you can't go past them."
Her whisper was shaky, and her hands were clutching the cloak like it was her last lifeline.
Rae tilted his head at her, like she was the dumb one here."No need for that. Rae only needs a little space."
'He's actually serious.'
Melissa could feel her stomach twist. There were so many of those green bastards, big and hulking, their muscles bulging as they scratched themselves and argued over whatever goblins argue over.
Each one had to be level thirty or higher, and there were so many it was basically a meat grinder waiting to happen.
If she went in swinging, she would win. Probably. But she wouldn't be walking out without half her bones cracked.
She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down, and then she looked at him again.
His small, dark eyes were locked on hers, burning with determination so fierce it almost made her chest hurt.
'Damn it. He's really going to do it.'
"Fine, but don't get hurt. I will not forgive myself if something happens to you."
Rae grinned at her like she'd just confessed to liking him.
'So she did care.'
"Rae no hurt. Rae come back and Rae and Madame could cuddle all the day."
He even raised a thumb at her like some heroic idiot from a poster.
Melissa's ears went pink, that memory flashing in her head before she quickly scowled and looked away.
"Stop saying stupid stuff and just go."
She waved him off like she was shooing a stray cat, but Rae could tell she was embarrassed. That made him snicker as he turned and crept toward the goblins.
The smell hit him first.
'Ugh.'
He had to weave left and right like a drunk snake, dodging dangling arms and twitching legs, just to avoid brushing against the stinky giants.
One goblin started walking toward his side, its shadow looming over him. Rae had to step forward fast, only to find two more coming in from both sides like a pair of living walls.
And considering he barely reached their hips, Rae was very aware of what level his head would smash into if they bumped him.
'Nope. Rae will stay alive with dignity. Rae is not dying as goblin underwear decoration.'
He ducked low, practically kissing the floor, and slipped back just enough to let the two brutes bump shoulders and grunt at each other. Perfect.
When Rae finally reached what felt like the middle of the entire mob, he stopped. Perfect position.
He glanced at one goblin, then at the other.
Then, with the confidence of a man who had already accepted death, Rae grinned and said:
"Little bitch."
The first goblin froze when he heard the voice. He glanced back, squinting suspiciously, but everyone else was just trudging along like ugly green sheep. Nobody looked shady.
'Eh? Did I hear it wrong? Maybe it was just my brain farting again…'
He scratched his butt, shrugged, and went back to pretending he was on guard duty.
And then—
"Little bitch."
The words slithered into his ear again.
"What the?!"
He spun around, eyes bloodshot, fangs grinding. His pride had just been sucker-punched. He immediately locked onto the nearest goblin in sight. Didn't matter who. Someone was gonna pay.
'Ahh, acting suspicious, are you? Let's see if you can eat some heat, asshole.'
He jabbed a clawed finger forward.
"Man, you look weaker than before. Hehehe. What happened? You losing muscle? Or just too much time scratching your ass?"
The accused goblin's eyes bulged. He let out a dramatic gasp, then launched himself into a flex like a wrestler on stage. Veins popped, sweat gleamed, and he snarled.
"Who the hell are you calling weaker?! Look at this, fucker! This is twenty inches of pure bicep! Twenty! That's twenty more than the inches you'll ever see below your loincloth!"
"Oooohhhhhhh—!"
The entire goblin crowd let out a collective howl, like a stadium of drunk fans suddenly finding front-row tickets to a goblin boxing match.
A few even started chanting, stomping their feet like they'd just discovered their new religion.
The burn landed so hard you could almost hear it sizzle.
The accused goblin went red — not with shame, but with full-blown "about to commit a felony" rage. He jabbed a trembling claw at his opponent.
"What?!" he barked, voice cracking. "Just ask your wife about my inches! She knows how to take them better than you can ever give them!"
"OHHHHHHHH!"
This time the collective "ohhh" hit like a battle horn. The crowd erupted. Goblins started jumping, hollering, some even pounding their spears on the ground like they were drumming for war.
A circle formed instantly — goblin fight protocol activated.
Rae, meanwhile, was grinning ear to ear. This was going better than he'd hoped.
'Perfect. They're eating each other alive.'
He slipped out of the tightening ring just in time, moving like a cat burglar with a free buffet coupon.
One second later and he'd have been trapped inside the circle with a front-row seat to Goblin WrestleMania — not the safest place for a small guy who really valued keeping his head un-crushed.
Behind him, the roast battle escalated into full verbal homicide, and the crowd roared for blood.