Formicea

 

I wake up again, yet I don't find myself in the tub, but on Kyska's lap.

 

<Why am I here like that?> (E)

<I thought about bringing you back in your alcove, but you finally found peace. And it appeared like you need some personal attendance, so I chose to let you rest like this. The problem is, letting you sleep meant to overgo your next laying interval. I am sorry if I have overstepped my bounds like this, I know this is uncommon. I will await my punishment in this case.> (K)

<No! No. I mean... thank you. I... I am not strong or something like this and... I really need help. This is all hard for me and without you... I might have been broken by now. Thank you.> (E)

 

I embrace this weird insect that is constantly taking care of me.
And that grew to me in this terrifying new world.

 

<My... Thank you, my princess.> (K)

<Me too!> (S)

 

And an overeager third party chimes in on the hugging.

 

<Cuuh!/Fine Suki!> (E)

 

After a while, we settle down and separate again.

 

<You-you won't get problems for doing this, right? What Liseti said to you... Can she do something to you?> (E)

<Not against your wishes. I am specially assigned to you, so you decide my fate. As long as I don't hinder your health. Then outer intervention will occur.> (K)

<Right, so you are safe. Good. So, speaking of my health. Did I... again?> (E)

<You indeed laid some eggs! Sadly, only seven.> (K)

<Sadly? Is this too few?> (E)

<It is about the fact that you didn't do it in your last activity. That means you didn't lay one whole batch.> (S)

<So I'm behind my quota and that could be bad?> (E)

<I think you misunderstood, my princess. There is no problem if your numbers are not high. It might be unfortunate, yet not to your harm.> (S)

<And why it is then a problem?> (E)

<Because they are still there. You just didn't lay them, yet they were produced. Amassing them like this isn't good. Your next session could be especially straining.> (K)

"Ehhk!?" (E)

 

Now that she mentioned it my stomach feels truly a little cramped.

 

<It is up to you to decide. We either could trigger the laying directly or you will prepare for a more intense session later. Yet, it might already now be too much. I advise against delaying it any further.> (K)

<It... It would be better to do it now, right?> (E)

<It has its demerits. As I said before, it might cause issues for some of them. The risk increases with less time for them to grow. Also, you aren't allowed to stop after we start. This is to empty your body.> (K)

<Still. Still, I'll do it.> (E)

<Good them let us prepare now.> (K)

 

Suki is going to fetch the assisting nurses and workers and Kyska guides me to the table.

 

<First you eat.> (K)

<Are you sure?> (E)

 

Usually, I would avoid eating before doing something that might cause me to vomit.

 

<You will need the energy. Just take in as much as possible. The nectar is better here." (K)

 

Like always mushrooms and nectar.
Apparently, the nectar is more effectively converted into energy and easier to take in.
I didn't want to drink this anymore but what shall I do if this is all they provide.
Soon I'm done.

Then I have to prepare for inducing a laying session.
Kyska introduces me to a position.

 

<We have no facilities here to support you so this has to suffice.> (K)

 

I have to bend over the stool and support myself with my arms on it.

 

<Good. Now we start. Take deep breaths and let them out again.> (K)

 

I do so.

 

<Alright. Now contract and expand rhythmic your lower body, while you keep on breathing. And don't stop.> (K)

 

It feels a little weird and after some repetitions, I feel a strange kind of pressure.

 

<I feel weird, Kyska.> (E)

<Keep going, princess. This is the important part.> (K)

 

I do like she says and the pressure grows stronger. It gathers in my abdomen and suddenly.

 

"Plop"

 

<It works, princess. Proceed.> (K)

 

"Plop"

 

There is some pain, but it more and more feels like nothing obstructs the release.

 

"Plop"

 

The nurses are already there and bring each egg away.

 

"Plop"

 

But it doesn't stop and more keep coming.

 

"Plop, plop"

 

<You are doing well princess.> (K)

 

"plop"

 

<Sciek!/Can't I stop?> (E)

 

"Plop"

 

<No, it must commence to the end.> (Kyska)

 

"Plop, plop"

 

Despite her words, I feel terrible at that occurrence and my breath gets rigid.

 

"Plop, plop"

 

I despair and breathe wildly in and out, losing partly control over my body.
Especially down there.

 

"Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop"

 

I lose control!

 

"Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop"

 

<So many!> (S)

 

My body goes numb, yet despite that, some kind of reflex takes over and presses even more out.

 

"Plop, plop, plop, plop"

 

I lose my mind and eventually pass out.

 

"Plop, plop"

 

The next I feel is how Kyska is wiping my face, shortly followed by Suki fiddling with my wings.

 

<This was absolutely overwhelming princess. To think this would happen.> (S)

<Wha-what was?> (E)

<You laid more than expected.> (K)

<Creeek!/ I feel terrible! What did happen?> (E)

<It seems your bodily instincts took over after you began and so you pushed all accumulated eggs out. Fortunately, despite my worries, there was only a small fraction with obvious flaws.> (K)

 

Didn't want to know this.
Now I feel somewhat guilty for doing this.
Kyska seems to be able to read my mind.
Or scent.

 

<Don't grieve, my princess. Delaying it any further would have increased the strain on your body. This is but a small concession if your health is assured in return.> (K)

<What does happen to the...flawed?> (E)

<Naturally they will be discarded. There is no reason to raise an existence without purpose.> (K)

 

I feared she would say so.
Is this really fine?
I don't know, maybe they're not even alive yet.
I mean, it's not like I've never had a chicken egg which was... occupied.
There wasn't much that could live yet.

I can just hope so.
At least the eggs are much smaller than the later larvae.
Urgh, I don't want to think about this.

I should just avoid that this happens in the first place.
However, this means... I have to lay eggs the right way.
That's nothing I wanted to arrange myself with.

 

<This concludes this then? It's over?> (E)

<It seems, yet your reaction was a bit intensive. To think you stored this much.> (K)

<Was it really that bad?> (E)

<Bad? No! Magnificent! You laid no less than Sixty-eight eggs this is surpassing all expectations!> (S)

<Sixty-eight? Is that even possible?> (E)

<It was good we started now. Your womb must have been cramped.> (K)

 

Sixty-eight eggs!
Sixty-eight new insects will spawn!
This is absolutely insane.
There are already enough to hatch an army.
And this took not even three days.

 

I am so done with my body and lay low on the bench.
Naturally, just on the stomach is possible.
Stupid wings!

 

<Something softer to lie on would be nice here. Some kind of padding. If it is enough, maybe I could lie on my back.> (E)

<I will look into it, yet there is no such material in our system. At most, we might be able to loosen up some earth as a temporary solution.> (K)

<Because of that sheep are so nice. They give such a soft fabric if you shear them.> (E)

<They will be gathered as soon as possible.> (K)

<That won't be possible. They are docile creatures and all belong to human farmers and such. I don't want to steal them. Sigh. If we would just have something to exchange them.> (E)

<You said metals might work?> (K)

<Gold ore sure. It wouldn't be processed, but even like this have some worth. Silver too. Copper might be already a problem.> (E)

<Processing?> (K)

<It means freeing the metal from impurities. You melt them with a very hot fire and the earth parts burn away, while the metal as a liquid can be with a mold formed. So you have something really hard in the form you want. They would form coins with this, as a replacement for actual wares.> (E)

 

And here I go again, strengthening the insect army.

 

<Such a thing! This knowledge might be invaluable. That you have such value. This is surpassing all my estimations about you. Oh, I really need to ensure your wellbeing, my little one.> (L)

 

What?

No!
No, no, no, no!
The only one who shouldn't have heard!

 

<I was going to continue where we ended at the last interval.> (L)

<Ieek!/I, I, n-no!> (E)

 

What I remember from the last interval is that she sexually offended me!

 

<Princess. I need to ask for your consideration. It came so that princess Erys just had an extensive laying session which heavily drained her. Please understand.> (K)

<Extensive?> (L)

<Yes! Sixty-eight! Unbelievable!> (S)

<You are noisy. Yet this is remarkable for such a young being. But like this, we should wait till she is better. The good side is that I'm free and like this can wait.> (L)

 

And she settles herself on a stool at the table.
Wait!
She stays here!?
She totally behaves as if she owns this place.
Well, I don't know for sure, maybe she does.

I think I just blinked stunned with my second layer at that invasive being.
Also, I just realized: I'm in underwear!

 

<I suggest we should get to know each other better, don't you think? Why we don't talk?> (L)

 

I don't really think she's against me.
Simply the fact that she spends her time teaching me and comes here shows that she isn't despising my presence.
Also, I can't believe she thinks of me as a threat.
I mean, yesterday she showed me how to use a deadly weapon as her first action.
This is nothing you do for an enemy.
In addition, there wasn't a single lying insect and she doesn't give the schemer.

Nonetheless, she has something threatening to her.
I just don't think it is aimed at me.
But this is a reason to comply.
Also, there is never a good reason to make enemies.

 

<Y-yes, if you are fine with me.> (E)

<Don't say it like this. I believe a conversation with you can be quite interesting. Come to speak of. Your human language...> (L)

<W-what is with it?> (E)

<Could you use it?> (L)

<Why?> (E)

<I want to learn it. Now that I found out about humans there are things I find of interest. So learning their way of speech is the first step.> (L)

"G-good! Wheen iet is thiEs what you want." (E)

<It sounds foreign, yet I think I can figure out the patterns. The pheromones help.> (L)

 

She begins to make some weird stretchings with her jaw.

 

"IEeet ieeEz fieEEene lieeEeke thieeEEz?" (L)

 

Rather I think this scream would terrify any human being.
Yet since I'm used to this from my own attempts I can keep it together.

 

"Ie thienk you have got thee words rieght, yet thEy are a little high. Miene as wEll. However, humans can very eeasily get frightened. So thies tone could be a problem." (E)

"Creeak! ThieeEz wieeell bEee a pieEece of woork!" (L)

"Are you going to ienteract with theem?" (E)

"Youu seeE, mEe and myE brood are veEryE invEeested ien mEainteeainieng thEee pEEacee of thee syEsteeem. Soo iet iEs naaatural that IIE want to know such thiEngs to beE able to dooo thieees. IIieeek! ThieeEs ies reEallyE haard, IE honoor youuu to mEainteeEn iiiet lieeEke thiieez!" (L)

 

She said she is maintaining the peace.
In other words, she is fighting.
This means she is accustomed to violence.

 

"You... you areen't going to attAck humans rieght?" (E)

<Oh, are you worried?> (L)

 

She switched back to creaks and screeches.
I know already how hard it is to keep human speech up.

 

"Y-yes I am. Ie, I know that me being human is quEstionable, yet at leeast, I really don't want a conflict or that innocent pEople diee. Or worse, that you use anyething you heard from mee against them and I thEn am responsieble for their deaths." (E)

<I... think I can see your point. It is not like this doable to think of them indifferently. This isn't just about loyalty, as it would be questionable if you could just ignore your origins. It is about your way of being. You also showed compassion for that worker. You are not wishing others bad things and this applies especially to those you can relate to. Hence the humans. How would be that? In exchange for your knowledge about humans, I am on your side! I can promise you not to attack humans from my side, as long they don't give me a reason. Sounds that right?> (L)

 

Her offer appears to be honest and having someone on my side sounds good too.
And she appears to be rather strong.
Both in power and mentality.
Yet her proposal has a flaw.

 

"I would lieke to accept your offer, but theere is a little problem." (E)

<What is it?> (L)

"Thies alreadye counts as knowledge, but humans are not lieke thee swarm. They are indieviedualiEstic." (E)

<What does that mean?> (L)

"It meeans that humans aren't going to follow every order a supeerior gives theem. Theere might be incidents, wheen separate acting humans are provoking. Or thee other way round a supeerior forces thee people to fight, even if they don't want to. My familye and Ie got caught in a war that wee didn't want to take part in. Would you spare if thies happEns the innocent?" (E)

<So you're saying, although humans form united forces, they aren't necessarily unified in will and can like this lose their will to participate in a conflict. Yes indeed, this is valuable knowledge. I need to say that it might be impossible in a large-scale conflict to separate all the mentioned innocent, yet I can agree to give some leeway. In consideration that is. So I would try not to attack indifferently, what your speech might be of use for. Can you agree to such terms?> (L)

<Criak!/I-I think I already did. Thank you for this.> (E)

 

Maintaining human speech is hard and I got emotional.

 

<You are welcome. It is not like I cannot understand you. If suddenly I wouldn't be part of the swarm anymore and was told I have to fight it, there would be problems for me too. And besides this, it seems there are severe differences we as well need to take into account.> (L)

<This is true. Humans are more thinking about themselves, their own survival, or that of their closest group. To live for a greater good is maybe a known concept, but you won't find many who pursue it.> (E)

<This sounds bothersome. The natural concept to fight for one’s survival sounds logical, yet I think the swarm works better in this regard. If you think about it, a system that works together is more stable in the greater picture than one that contradicts itself and wants in different directions. Nonetheless, it is interesting that humans despite this form larger groups and communities like you said.> (L)

<In the end, it's better to avoid a conflict. Humans are intelligent. And because of this, I would like it if there would be a way to coexist. I mean both humans and the swarm are capable of logic, so it should be possible to negotiate instead of having a conflict.> (E)

<This isn't wrong, yet according to you, they are rather whimsical creatures, where everyone acts rouge. That isn't favorable for making agreements.> (L)

<But at least we can try.> (E)

<This is right. However...> (L)

 

Suddenly she stands up, walks to me, and looks me intently in the eyes.
An action performed with black insect eyes isn't any less intimidating.

 

<If it would be just avoiding killing, you would be against contact at all. Cutting off all tunnels to the surface and that was it. You have other reasons, is that right?> (L)

 

Busted.
That she is this perceptive.

 

<Maybe. There are some things I miss. Some human goods. And especially... my family.> (E)

<Family?> (L)

<It is like this. When humans are... making life, they get each with a special partner together. It is... some kind of ritual. Anyways, in the end, those normal human individuals have one child or more. Or in your words brood. These bonds are unique and very important. And over them a group that holds special feelings for each other forms. And I... got separated from them. Rather short before I was brought here. I'm afraid something might happen to them and really want to meet them again.> (E)

<And because of the situation meeting them might be difficult. Especially as letting a princess do something like this alone and have her approaching a human settlement is out of question.> (L)

<Still, I really want to see them again. Even...> (E)

<Even? What else?> (L)

<It is... the members of the swarm are giant insects and a human would fear something like this. Every human. So my family maybe too.> (E)

<You fear that the mentioned bonds are not enough to overcome this.> (L)

<I hope they are, but I cannot be sure.> (E)

<Then maybe we should test it out as soon as possible.> (L)

<What?> (E)

<Establishing relations is only for securing the contact, yet a single visit should be possible. Some preparations might be necessary and a proper escort which isn't stirring things up, but I think it should be possible. If we avoid detection you might move without issues.> (L)

<Princess Liseti this is...> (K)

<I know you are worried about your princess and this is right but you don't decide. And I said we make preparations. The corpses you mentioned had no wings, so flying should be a considerably convenient way to escape. Also, I will arrange for her to have a proper escort which will protect her while staying out of sight. After all, this kind of anxiety might have a detrimental influence on her, so that we should solve that issue.> (L)

 

I am absolutely in for that kind of thing.

 

<You know, Kyska said that by now already tunnels should lead there. Isn't that right?> (E)

<Yes, we just need to break through and we can enter the town.> (K)

<Please don't let it sound like an invasion.> (E)

<I'm sorry, my princess. Yet I need to say that you should prepare before you are going there and some safety measures have to commence.> (K)

<This is still a good approach we will use in time. Now that this is settled we will start to teach you how to use your wings.> (L)

 

She grabs me from my bench and immediately starts to drag me out.
For me, this is a worrisome topic.
She really wants me to fly with these things which feel just like a foreign attachment to me.
In my opinion, people are just not made to fly.

On the other hand, it is a little bit difficult to consider me as such.
I mean I did grow them.
So, am I made to fly?

She drags me to the middle of the courtyard.

 

<The same as last time. Workers! Scatter around and cover the ground to ensure the princess does not fall!> (L)

 

Immediately the workers are spreading over the whole area.

 

<Now we can get started. First, spread your wings. Bring a little tension in them.> (L)

 

I am anxious, yet I know how they are attached to me.
I feel them and like this, can figure out the controlling muscle.
And so they spread.

 

<An interesting pattern you have there. Six separate wings in all directions are special. You might even be able to stand calmly in the air. However, mastering them will require quite some effort. It is difficult to control them all at once.> (L)

<So I can't fly now?> (E)

 

I draw a little hope.
At least I may not have to rise to dangerous levels.

 

<Oh no, I didn't say that. In fact, practice is the best you can do. The point with flying is that rather than expertise the right feel is more important. So you need to develop the feel to get a hang of it. All I wanted to say was that it will be especially difficult and you might crash quite some times on the ground first.> (L)

 

So she already made up her mind that I'm going down!?

 

<To avoid the worst we will start slow. You will just move them separately. When you get a feel for one pair you add another segment until you control them all.> (L)

 

This doesn't sound too hard and I try to move them.
As soon as the muscle tenses there is movement.
Yet, the air pressing against them feels strange.

 

<Not bad but try to keep your balance. This is the easy part. It will get harder without a connection to the ground. And don't use the entire range you can move them. There is an effective room they gather the most air.> (L)

 

In practice, I need to stand upright and don't move them all the way.
Yet, controlling them is hard.
I cannot really stay conscious of three different sets of movements.
Three because the sets are moving synchronous and I don't dare to try to alternate.

 

<Now faster! Increase the pace!> (L)

 

I try but at this speed, I can barely perceive how they swing.
However, it is astonishing how fast these things are in the first place.
A bird's wings are nothing against the speed with which these are rushing up and down.
Yet, because I concentrated on this I was occupied for a moment and notice in the next that my feet aren't anymore on the ground.
The next that happens is me panicking, losing balance, and the world turning upside down.

This will gonna hurt!

Or so I thought.
I notice after I managed to open my eyes again, that Liseti is holding me with all her four claws in some kind of princess carry.
...Well.

Then she dumps me down.

 

<Stay concentrated! And remember: You better stop moving the wings for a moment instead of trying to shift your body without a sense of direction! Controlled fall is better than accelerating to the ground! Next round!> (L)

 

This princess is relentless.
She forces me to try again and again.
After some attempts, I managed to reach a decent height yet this only increased my anxiety and made me more prone to fall.
It's quite ironic how the fear to fall causes exactly that.

As Liseti said, I try to stop the movement of the wings which in the worst case would only speed me up on my way down.
Fortunately, I get caught before hitting the ground.
To my dismay, it is one of the for this reason spread workers.
Not really to be considered a shining knight.

 

<Ehk, thank you! Can you let me down?> (E)

 

It slowly sets my feet on the ground.
All in all, they can be pretty nice, despite their looks.
I know one shouldn't judge based on this, yet I am glad it was no guardian.
These things are walking battle platforms.

 

<You really need to steady your mind! The height wasn't the problem! There is no difference between barely not connecting to the ground and being all the way up!> (L)

 

I would retort that the difference is what it causes to the body.
But I guess another fall would be healthier.
Like this, this torture of a training session continues and after far too long comes to an end.

 

<Alright! We stop here this time. When I come back I don't want to see any decrease in your ability. Remember and keep in mind what you felt here.> (L)

 

She is coming back!
Help!

 

<Also keep your time free in the next interval. We are going to the chamber of knowledge.> (L)

 

And it seems I will get abducted.
With prior notification.

 

This was heavily straining.
I drag myself back into my room and fall on the bench.
Before long I note a vessel with food in front of me.
And again it's mushrooms and nectar.

 

<I know you mean well but I suppose we don't have different food, Kyska?> (E)

 

It's not that I dislike those mushrooms.
And the monotony isn't even bad, which probably has to do with this body that is made to consume this food.
Nonetheless, some alternation would be nice at times.

 

<Are there any wishes my princess?> (K)

<I don't really know. Can I even eat anything else? Are there any issues with other kinds of food?> (E)

 

I haven't really thought about this, but now I realize that maybe my stomach changed as well.
Who knows, those mushrooms might be poisonous for humans and bread deadly for me.
The same reason why monsters don't eat bread or insects simply develop preferences.

 

<Is there anything special you want to inquire about?> (K)

<You see, humans eat a lot of different things. Mainly bread, a food made of the corns from a plant. It gets squashed, mixed with water, and then heated. We had fields at our home. Or cheese. You make it from the milk of cows, which gets mixed and hardens. Or on special occasions we even had meat. Wait! Can I eat meat or am I now a herbivore? Can I eat any of these?> (E)

<My princess, there might be some changes to your diet, yet I doubt your stomach got less sturdy. If anything then it should have increased in durability. And regarding your other question: At times the patrols in the tunnels solely rely on the prey they take down while fulfilling their duty. So meat is possible. Just, I had my doubts you might dislike it.> (K)

<I can have meat? Really?> (E)

<Sure. If you wish so. I can directly bring some. If you eat properly this will be beneficial for your production.> (K)

 

This sounds too good to be true, ignoring the last part. A real feast of...

 

<Wait! What kind of meat? No insect flesh, right? I don't practice cannibalism! And this includes humans!> (E)

 

I remember very well how she said the corpses got "processed".

 

<Alright! I will remember to avoid these.> (K)

 

I think I just dodged an arrow.
I nibble a bit at the mushrooms while I wait.
Lying on the bench is desperately needed, as I am full of scrapes.
In this regard, I really can't tell why some people long for flying.
Now, out of my own expertise, I can tell: It hurts.
The workers got me almost whenever I fell and if not, I wasn't too high up, so I just got some scrapes.

 

Interestingly no callouses, which might be linked to the carapace that grew under my skin.
This makes me a bit worried about what my skin is still good for.
There is this disturbing thought that I only look human on the outside and my skin is just something like a disguise.
A thought heavily supported by the fact that my blood at the scrapes is green.
This again makes me sad.

I try to talk a bit in human speech to Suki, to avert my mind.

 

"What do you thienk about Lyseeti Suki?" (E)

<It is a great fortune that you have her favor. There was no way a fertile princess couldn't be perceived as such, yet this mustn't mean your word has any weight. You just made an alliance with a powerful princess and gained her protection. That means you are officially accepted and can like this even enact influence on a large scale, outside your direct control over the brood.> (S)

"How is thies different? Aren't all priencesses controlling their own brood, so that theere shouldn't be a large scale?" (E)

<This is partially true. But the direct control is limited. You don't always know where all of your brood is and they will perform their tasks in various ways in an automated manner. In general, the queen and then the princesses decide the common directions, yet the queen is often occupied, so usually, the princesses decide. While it would be possible to completely withdraw all your brood, it would be a troubling decision. You might lose all the support being part of the swarm grants you. It might heavily backfire.> (S)

 

I understand that the prescription "system" for their realm has a meaning.
It might be close to impossible to exist completely without partaking and like this, I am forced to give something in return.
After a while, Kyska comes back with a plate full of flesh.
At this moment, I realize the fatal error I made.

 

<Kyska, is this flesh... bleeding?> (E)

<Naturally. I made sure it is fresh. I wouldn't risk offering you something moldy.> (K)

 

Besides the point that I am not sure what kind of creature this brown mass belongs to, I forgot the most important part.
They don't have any fire.
How should they be able to cook without?

Since Kyska did really go out of her way to bring me this, I try to eat it.
It... tastes strange.
I know I might be able to eat this and if it would be cooked it could even be alright, yet like this, it's an unpleasant experience.
Naturally, Kyska notices my feels.
No secrets for insect princesses.

 

<Princess, is something wrong?> (K)

<I'm sorry Kyska, I made a mistake.> (E)

<Please don't trouble yourself. How can I help?> (K)

<I forgot that flesh has to be cooked. Treated with heat. And this shouldn't be possible here.> (E)

<Are you implying to make a fire?> (K)

<Yes, I think. Humans use fire for many things and especially to cook. We had a special iron at home you could strike together to create sparks and with these make fire.> (E)

<In this environment, there might be issues, but in consideration, the hive is vast enough to support one fire, yet it might be difficult to start it. There is no one capable and the fear of fire is innate to us.> (K)

<I think I could do it. When I have my fire iron there is not much more needed. Something very dry to start it and something to sustain the flame, foremost wood. The right stone can replace the iron.> (E)

<This sounds very complicated. However, if it supports your happiness I will do what I can.> (K)

<You are the best Kyska.> (E)

<Criiik!/And me?> (S)

<Yes, you are great too, Suki.> (E)

 

She is jealous.
Somehow both of them grew to me.
As I've now eaten and this was a terrible exhausting day I go to sleep.
This tub or alcove, how Kyska refers to it, is really distressingly comfortable.
It might be the reason why I sleep now more than usual.

Or it could have something to do with severe body modifications, in the direction of insectification, linked with being forced to the extremely taxing production and laying of eggs, at the cost of my own energy.

Whatever it is, ultimately it leads to me sleeping in, awaiting another very stressful day.