Forgotten

The air brushing against Aperio’s face brought with it a measure of calm her troubled mind had sorely needed. She hadn’t been lying when she said that she wanted time to think, but that wasn’t all that she needed. Testing her strength was something she should have done as soon as she had returned, but the thought of herself being anything but weak was a strange one that had not quite settled in yet.

Then there was also the fragmented new-but-old knowledge. She did not know where it came from or why it was even there. It felt like it was always part of her, but she wasn’t willing to trust that feeling. At least not yet. The memory of a life as a spectator in her own body was still fresh and brought with it a healthy distrust of anything magical. Curiosity had already gotten the better of her on a few occasions. Another thing to work on.

Being wary of oneself was a weird thing, but Aperio wasn’t sure who she was supposed to be. Her life thus far had been as a tool, used as her masters had seen fit. Her duties had, admittedly, been better than most on average, but the outliers were still highly unpleasant memories. Being used as a test subject for new spells and potions wasn't pleasant at all, and pain was something she had simply learned to live with. Being collared and forced to obey, they had never seen the need to truly break her like they did for the collarless. But why waste time and resources on that when an accessory and a simple command turned an unwilling slave into a willing one?

It had turned most of Aperio's life into a blur, not caring what her body was forced to do and not wanting her mind to remember what was done. It hadn’t worked as well as she had wished – some part of her would always care. The voices of the guards mocking her for being sold into slavery by her own mother was one such echo of caring that lingered, even though Aperio herself wasn't quite sure why she felt so strongly about it. She couldn’t claim to know her actual mother. Moria had filled that role as best she could and Aperio saw no reason to change that. The only reason she had not taken to calling the Beastkin mother was Moria’s express wish to not be addressed as such.

Aperio did not know why she refused the title. She only knew that – according to Moria – she had failed her duty as a mother and would not sully the dignity of others by claiming to be something she no longer was.

Thinking about her old friend brought back the very recent memory of the look-alike, Neria. She might have been a bit harsher than needed, but having her hope of reunion crushed had cut deeper than she wanted to admit. Moria was the only person she had ever truly cared about and the prospect of seeing her again had cast away any thoughts of doubt or rationality.

Reality, however, wasn’t so nice. It had given her someone who maybe, just maybe, was a descendant of some sort. What she was supposed to do with the woman was something she would have to figure out later. If she even met her again.

Aperio put such thoughts aside as she glided along. For now, she would do the things she was able to accomplish. The most pressing was her test of strength, though she doubted she would be able to figure out much more than she already knew. Breaking stones would only tell you so much.

The ruins that marked her return to the world were below, still just as broken as they were before, though she thought she could see more greenery atop the various ruined buildings. Probably just my imagination, she thought.

Flying closer to the ground, she simply stopped beating her wings and let gravity assist her on the last bit down, the stone cracking beneath her feet as soon as her full weight was upon them.

Another weird thing. She knew she was a lot heavier than before, but not really why or how. What's changed about me, really? My wings? But they can't possibly weigh that much. ...my mana? Does that weigh anything? Just one more thing to figure out; if this kept up she would die of old age before she found all the answers she was looking for. Hah, but I already should be dead! Carving one's heart out was usually a pretty certain journey to the afterlife. But here she was, alive and well.

A visit to the capital of the Inaru Empire was also placed on her list. Though the Empire had fallen over a thousand years ago, the only hope she had of finding information on the ritual she had participated in would be the place they performed it. If anything is even left.

Shaking her head, she focused on the task at hand: figuring out how strong she was and what her magic could do.

A couple of steps brought her to a collapsed house. Bending down she picked up a fairly intact looking stone that was bigger than her head.. The simple act of lifting the piece of rock one handed brought joy to Aperio. If she ever needed to place old tomes somewhere she was sure that she wouldn’t have to struggle. Or she could engage in some belated catharsis and break the shelves herself.

Closing her hand, she found that the stone offered no resistance and simply crumbled between her fingers. The pieces fell to the ground, but did not break further upon impact. She picked up one of the smaller pieces and held it with two fingers. A little squeeze and the stone broke apart further. Seeing the pieces of rock on the floor, Aperio felt a pang of guilt. She might have to apologise to Thaddeus. The thought of doing that brought with it an even greater wave of disgust and wrong.

With a sigh, she turned her attention to a nearby tree. Her crash had hurt her more than punching a wall did, leading her to believe that something about this forest was special. The nearest tree was only a couple of paces away, and it seemed as good of a target as any.

Brushing her hand against the wood felt no different than she remembered. Applying a little pressure resulted in a loud crack and her hand being pushed further into the tree. Her hunch appeared to be correct; somehow, the tree offered more resistance than the stone. Maybe I should take some with me? Breaking off a thicker, low-hanging branch, Aperio moved to pocket it.

A sigh left her lips as she remembered that her dress, as pretty and comfortable as it might be, had no pockets. She would need to acquire one that had pockets. Or learn whatever it was that Ira did. Maybe I can get back to the Void and use that?

Something to try out later. For now the branch could serve another use.

Extending her left wing, she rammed the improvised spear into it. Just like her crash, there was no pain. The same tingling sensation ran up her spine and into her wings. The feathers that had only been slightly damaged or twisted mended themselves and the few she had actually broken were pushed away by new ones that took their place.

While it might have looked creepy to an outsider, Aperio was utterly fascinated by her new ability. She repeated her experiment a few more times, always ending with the same result. After the fourth time she tried to focus on the source of the tingle that always danced up her spine. It seemed to appear out of nowhere before it began to flow to the damaged parts, repairing once it reached them.

The closest thing she had felt to it was her deliberate use of magic as she destroyed the presumed slave collar. It made sense, you needed something to fix the damage and essentially create more of herself. She was, however, unable to tell how much of her mana it used. The lazy river that flowed through her body went by undisturbed and the bottomless well that was her reserve did not change at all. Or at least not on a level she could perceive. Maybe it fills back up too quickly?

The thought brought another question to the forefront of her mind. How do I make the stuff, anyway? Aperio had never read anything about the origin of mana, nothing definitive at least. The closest she got was a story about how the Gods created the world and everything in it; including mana. It never said what mana actually was though.

A look within showed what she had seen in the Void. A veritable river that lazily flowed through the entirety of her being and a bottomless well that held a calm and undisturbed ocean of mana. No matter how hard she tried, the source of her power seemed to reach endlessly into the deep.

Willing a small candle flame into existence had neither a notable impact on the mana in her body nor the mana in the well. Where is that anyway? My soul? Some mana realm? Increasing the size of the flame and letting it dance around her hand also brought no changes. Only after she started to get frustrated and annoyed did she sense something.

A small tremor sent waves through her well, causing a greater quantity of mana to surge through her body. If she hadn’t been paying attention she would not have noticed. A glance downward revealed some cracks in the stone surrounding her. Almost like the flowers. The stone was just already dead.

Shaking her head, she shelved the question of what mana was for a later date. People who were a whole lot smarter than her had probably figured it out already, she would just need to find where they had written it down. For now she had more things to test.

Opening her hand, Aperio tried to pierce her palm with the branch. Instead of the pain and blood she had prepared herself for, the wood simply snapped upon impact. It had hurt a little, but certainly less than her past impalements. Maybe wood is not the best thing to try this with. Looking around, she tried to find a piece of metal she could use but found none. Probably should’ve taken one of those swords with me.

There was not much she could do about that. Going down again to get one was out of the question as she was sure that it had taken her more than a couple days to escape from there. Why does that thing have over a hundred floors anyway? No dungeon of the Empire she had known had more than two. ...but they also killed most of the prisoners quickly.

Wandering through the ruins she tried to injure herself with a few other things, but neither glass nor any of the stones she had tried managed to pierce her skin. It seemed safe to conclude that she had very hardy skin. She would still try to cut herself with a sword on her own before she would listen to that tiny voice that said catching them was fine, though.

She attempted to cut herself one last time. Balling her hand, her fingernails dug in her flesh until she felt the all too familiar sensation of blood flowing from her palm. As soon as she opened her hand again, the warm tingle spread into it and the wound closed before her eyes, leaving nothing behind but some impossibly shiny silvery-red blood. Am I a Silver-Elf now? Does that even exist?

Being immune to most forms of cutting and piercing was nice, but not knowing what besides herself could cut her made Aperio uneasy. She simply felt like most anything would be fine but she wasn't yet ready to blindly trust these unknown instincts.

Having tested her physical durability as best she could at the moment, Aperio directed her attention inwards. It was time to test her magic.

While she was fairly certain that there was nobody running around in the ruins, she took the time to check most of the buildings. Definitely to make sure she wouldn’t harm someone and not because she wanted to see how fast she could move.

Dashing between the ruined structures brought a smile to her face. She was right when she had thought that she was faster than a carriage. And that was only running on the ground, her flight was much faster still.

Having made sure she was alone, Aperio came to a stop in front of the empty fountain. She knew how to summon fire, a mere thought being enough to produce a flame that would bend to her will.

Much like with the fire she had produced previously, she simply imagined a ball of water hovering above her hand. The by now familiar warmth spread through her, moving to her hand. As quickly as she had thought, a ball of water sprang into existence above her hand. Should’ve tried that sooner.

Lowering her hand, she found the sphere of water simply stayed where she wanted it to be, not where her hand had moved. A thought later and the ball had grown enough for her to put both of her hands inside. The blood clinging to her palm came off easily enough, not having hardened for Gods know how long.

Having cleaned her hand, Aperio walked closer to the empty fountain, the small mass of water floating behind her. It felt like the water was an extension of herself in a way, the knowledge of how much there was and where it was coming to her mind just as easily as knowing where her hands were. At the same time, the liquid was its own entity, and she felt it yearning to obey her wishes.

Depositing the water she had summoned into the fountain, she set to work filling the entire thing. The small puddle she had created before seemed to boil before more water poured out of it, rapidly filling the fountain. Water that makes more water. I love magic. Quite pleased with the result, she stopped her thoughts and the water, too, stopped its rise.

Forming a rock from nothing and seeing it cut by air was a weirdly amusing sight to Aperio. Another idea came to mind and soon after tiny bubbles of air rose to the surface of the fountain. I should do that in a bath, she thought with a giggle.

Next on her list to try was the elusive light magic. She had seen it work twice now, though both times from someone devoted to a God. She was wary of trying it herself, as she was not inclined to offer thoughts and prayers to something that had for all intents and purposes abandoned her.

Aperio wasn’t sure how to even summon a bit of light. She knew the four core elements well enough to imagine how they looked and felt. But light was not something she could connect to an image in her head nor did she have a wound to try and heal. Can’t make one either. Her, apparently natural, regeneration was simply too fast on its own, leaving no time to try and heal it with a conscious effort.

There was, however, another thing she could try.

Entering one of the buildings that surrounded the fountain, she grabbed a broken chair and liberated one of its legs. Walking back outside, Aperio took what she assumed to be an appropriate stance to throw her makeshift spear.

The wood sailed through the air before shattering on the stone wall she had aimed for. She went back and acquired more unorthodox spears before trying again, this time attempting to infuse her throw with light. No matter what she tried to do, the golden glow that the two paladins had managed was absent. Maybe it does need a God? She would have to look into that once she had reached Ebenlowe. Deciding which God to follow was another question entirely. The mere idea of being beneath someone was something her entire being resented. She didn’t want somebody to tell her what to do! If that meant she wouldn’t get some fancy golden magic, then so be it.

Looking into the sky, she saw the sun had already passed its apex. She had spent more time than she had thought here; running around, testing things. To her the time wasn’t wasted, she had learned that she was sturdier than she had assumed, but still didn't have a clear idea of exactly how sturdy. Magic seemed to be only limited by what she could imagine and the annoying need for a God.

Before she would leave to join Ira and the others, she had a couple more things she wanted to try. One of which was mentally ticked of her list as a nearby stone floated towards her. It was soon joined by more of the rubble that surrounded her. Aperio was surprised at the ease with which she could manipulate mana to her whims; before her sacrifice she had only ever used magic of the chanted variety. Not that she would complain of her newfound powers.

Dropping the sticks and stones she had floated towards herself, Aperio set her sights on one of the more intact buildings. If she went to Ebenlowe she would likely have to fight and while her fists had made short work of the two mages and the demon, magic from afar seemed like the better solution.

Just like the time she wanted to rid the world of the mage’s collar, she willed a flame into existence. The warmth that accompanied a conscious use of magic was like a welcome friend. Her days as a slave had not always been the most comfortable, temperature-wise, and the idea of being able to chase away the cold appealed to her. Not that I have felt too hot or too cold since I came back.

Pushing her musings aside, she threw the fist-sized flame at the building in front of her, willing it to expand and swallow it whole. A smile spread across her face as the remains of the house were engulfed by fire. A mental push and the flame grew hotter until the hem of her dress caught on fire, causing Aperio to quickly extinguish it.

The heat from the burning building had felt like nothing more than a warm summer breeze, but her singed dress told a different story. Her attention was drawn back to the building as what had survived her assault collapsed in on itself. While it wasn't a living target she was fairly certain that her magic would work just as well on flesh and bone, should it come to it. And if not, then she could always resort to the tried and true: punching.

I need more clothes, she thought as she touched the burned part of her dress. But I need money for that. What do they even use for currency? I doubt it’s the same coins the Empire had. Yet another thing to ask Ira about once she had caught up.

There was one more thing she wanted – needed – to test before she left. Steeling her nerves and closing her eyes, Aperio tried to paint the Void in her mind. She wasn't sure if it would work, but if her other attempts had worked with her imagination alone, then this had a chance. It took time, but eventually the familiar warmth spread through her body, and the feeling of the world around her shifted. Opening her eyes, she was greeted by a black rift filled with countless orbs of light.

So I can return here. But can I go back...

The twinkling of the lights around her seemed to call out, begging her to stay and join them in the Void. But she wouldn't do that yet. As comfortable as she felt here in the black nothingness, Apero wanted to experience the world. She closed her eyes again and sank back into her imagination, willing the world to reappear around her.

The radiating warmth of sunshine reappeared on her skin, and she knew she had succeeded.

Following up on an earlier notion, Aperio picked up a piece of singed wood from the ground and returned to the Void. As soon as she saw the river of lights, she felt the wood in her hand crumble. Taking a look at the stick showed it to be dissolving into a silver mist that faded into nothingness once it hovered outside her reach. So I can’t use it as storage.

Ignoring the call of the lights, Aperio willed the world to return yet again.

Looking at the setting sun, she kicked off the ground and flew as fast as she could towards where she knew the road would be. There might have been more things she could have tested, but she felt she had accrued enough knowledge to be able to be around people. She found herself wanting to spend more time with them. Talking to them. She paused before correcting herself. Learn how to not make them wince when I talk. Maybe try to learn their language?

She had much to do and all the time she needed, nobody willing or able to tell her what to do.