NOVEL NEXT Advent – Chapter 32: A Little Bit of Faith
Outside the headquarters of the [Guides], Aperio and her daughter were greeted by the sight of Laelia and the group of adventurers simply standing around in an awkward silence. The ex-paladin’s eyes went wide as soon as she spotted Ferio leading the winged Goddess outside, holding her hand. She was, however, the only one with that reaction. The rest of the group certainly looked surprised when they saw Aperio being lead outside, but they lacked that twinkle of recognition in their eyes.
"Ferio?" Laelia asked, her voice barely a whisper.
The fiery-haired Goddess narrowed her eyes at the mention of her name. "Is that the one that tried to kill you?"
"Yes," Aperio replied. She had a feeling that Ferio would not take kindly to meeting someone who had attempted to murder her mother, however unlikely their chance at success might have been. She held her daughter's hand a little tighter, and her assumption proved to be correct as Ferio abruptly tried to move in the ex-paladin's direction. The stone cracked under her feet as she tried to take a step forward but found herself unable to advance.
Aperio stood unmoved by her daughter's attempt. She had not used much effort to hold the arm, but then, Aperio had almost no grasp on how much strength she used at any given time. Her grip did not seem to hurt Ferio, but neither of them had used anything close to their full capabilities. At least I think so. Her friendly bout with Ferio would hopefully give her a better idea of how strong she had become. If she accepts the offer.
As her struggle brought her nowhere, Ferio turned to face her mother. She looked at the hand holding her before shrinking a little. "I am sorry mother, but the thought of someone trying to harm you is… maddening. I don't want to lose you again" Her last words were barely a whisper, quiet enough that even Aperio had almost missed it.
Ferio's words brought with them a warm feeling that she could not quite place but liked nonetheless. Brushing a few errant strands of hair out of her daughter’s face, Aperio spoke. "It is all right. Her actions were not her own, she did not mean to. I will not leave again."
It felt right to say the words, to soothe the only person she had felt close to since Moria had died. Even if she could not remember her daughter, Aperio wanted to trust the feeling she had. She wanted to believe that Ferio was her daughter. Was… family. If the universe saw it fit to bless her with one after she had spent a lifetime without, she would take it. Now, she just needed time to–
Her thoughts were interrupted by the shaky voice of Laelia, who seemed to be in dire need of a chair. "Ferio – the Goddess of the Sun – is your daughter?"
Aperio tilted her head at the question. Isn't that obvious from the talk we just had? "Yes."
Laelia gave in to gravity and sunk to her knees while the rest of the group processed the implications of what had just been said. The first to react was Arden, who threw his head back and laughed. Is he going insane? Letting go of Ferio's hand, as she felt certain that her daughter would no longer try to strike out against Laelia, Aperio moved behind the laughing Human. That the stones had broken under her step were pointedly ignored, as was the way Arden went stock still as she touched a hand to his shoulder. First and foremost, Aperio had to check on the blessing. Much to her relief, it was still diligently improving the Human's body. No sign of it trying to take over. A quick mental check on Laelia's blessing revealed the same.
"Why are you laughing?" Her irritation was clear as her voice carried a touch more power than it usually did, enough to make Arden flinch slightly. Or is that because he thinks I will punish him?
"I just thought it was hilarious that we stumbled across the mother of one of the stronger Goddesses. I meant no offence." While he did not stutter or sound like he feared for his life, it was clear that he regretted his actions. Aperio simply lifted her hand off of his shoulder and looked towards her daughter. She was smiling at her, seemingly happy to be known for her strength. The potential duel with Ferio looked to be more and more informative.
"I assume everyone has heard of my daughter?" Aperio's query was directed at the rest of the adventurers. She got a round of slow nods and questioning gazes as reply. "No reason to act so surprised then. Just treat us as you would anyone else."
While Aperio knew they had enough reasons to be surprised, she wanted them to stop their annoyingly fearful behaviour. She wanted to at least have a somewhat normal life. Even if the chance of it actually happening was astronomically low, it was still a chance, and therefore she would still make the effort to try. After she got a few more nods from the party, she took a few steps towards Laelia who was still on the ground holding her head. Offering her hand she asked, "Are you okay?"
Aperio's words caused her to look up with an expression on her face that the winged Goddess could only interpret as fear. Being looked at like that hurt more than Aperio had ever imagined. Disgust, hatred – she knew from experience how to deal with those. The affection her daughter sought, though unfamiliar to her, was at the very least something she understood on a base level. What she did not know how to handle was the way the colour drained from Laelia's face. The way the Human ever so slowly tried to distance herself from her. The way she looked up at her offered hand – not disgust; not hatred; but pure, true fear.
"Why is everyone so scared?" Aperio whispered to her herself as she lowered her hand again. She knew that her voice and aura carried with it a weight that the mortals seemed to struggle with, but Laelia had never seemed particularly bothered by it. Even less so after Aperio had replaced her blessing. But now, she was looking at her as if she was death incarnate; here to reap her soul for good. The few times Aperio had lost her temper had been mostly ignored by everyone, so why was the person who had acted the least intimidated so scared now? She wanted to be respected, yes, but not feared.
A hand brushing past and under her wings caused Aperio to twitch slightly. She relaxed when she realized it was Ferio trying to comfort her. It could be no other, for everyone else was unwilling to even get close to the winged Elf. A casual, reassuring touch from them was simply unfathomable. Aperio turned and looked into Ferio's face, finding there the same expression she had seen when her lack of memory of her own daughter was revealed. At least I am getting better at reading people. It was a small consolation, one she would gladly trade back.
"It's okay. They don't know you, whatever they think is true is something made up." Her voice was soothing, but the full meaning of the words did not manage to reach Aperio. Her mind felt overburdened as she tried to figure out why, even after she had become a Goddess, life was still unwilling to let her find even the smallest crumb of happiness. Her thoughts went around in circles, trying to find a solution, an exit, a path away from her current state, but ultimately went nowhere. The air around her grew cold and heavy, seeming to hold her just as captive as her mind.
Was she wrong to free Laelia? Should she just do nothing? Let the world run its course? Was the joy she felt whenever she used her newfound strength just a loan for future grief and sadness?
Aperio noted a shimmer of magic not her own at the edge of her consciousness. A warm, golden glow that gingerly tried to surround and soothe her swirling mind. It felt similar to the way her magic had appeared in the Void, just warmer. A gentle embrace. She felt she knew who it belonged to, and a small inspection revealed that it was, indeed, the magic of her daughter.
With a thought, Aperio twisted reality apart and brought herself and Ferio into her Void.
Whatever form of magic filled her dominion, it did more to stop her mind's rampaging circles than anything else. Aperio took a deep breath, and it calmed her despite the airlessness of the Void. Her daughter's arms wrapped around her, and for a moment she wasn't sure what to do. She still could not remember anything! Not reliably, at least.
Ferio's arms gave her a squeeze, and a small flash of understanding came over Aperio. Even if she could not recall anything now, and even if she might never remember at all, she knew that Ferio was her family. She hugged her daughter tightly, mind blazing against the indignity of the universe. How dare it wish to have her wallow in sadness for the rest of her eternal life! She rejected that concept, there and then. She would not be subject to such emotional indignity. She would find a way, a way to live the way she wanted to.
If she couldn't do it now, she would strive to improve. To get better.
Something fell into place.
A part of what she had so long wanted to figure out revealed itself to her, ready to be grasped. Strive? It felt right, but not the whole. The unending desire to improve, to be the best possible version of herself. The feeling of disgust when she asked a question, her desire to fight and even the restless search for her own Domain. All because that is a part of my domain?
Aperio took another breath of the nothingness that filled her Void. The swirling mass of grief and self doubt cleared away, the gentle touch of her daughter’s magic nudging the last wisps of it aside. Opening her eyes, Aperio gently stroked the back of Ferio's head. "Thank you," she whispered.
That her voice carried more presence, more power in a whisper than it had when she had shouted before was ignored. The Void was her dominion, even the tiniest whisper would carry a weight unbearable by mortals. Unless, of course, she did not want them to shoulder the burden. Her Void, her rules.
Separating herself from her daughter, Aperio took a moment to take in her dominion. Figuring out a part of her Domain – Or one of multiple? – had changed the Void. The river of souls shone with more. More colours, Aperio knew, and she suspected that the soul orbs themselves were more numerous than before as well. Where they came from, she could not tell. Were they stuck somewhere else?
Focusing on the Void in the same manner as she did with the blessings flooded her mind with information. It took her a moment to start sorting it out, but her task was made simple by the fact that the greater part of the messages received were incomprehensible tugs of some sort. They felt as if they wanted her to decide, pulling her back and forth on something she could not quite grasp. The rest of the information was more of a list, eerily similar in style to the System. It came not in the form of a window, but simply as information that she inherently knew.
"What happened?" Ferio asked, pulling Aperio out of her thoughts.
The Elf blinked at the question. She did not truly know why her thoughts had roamed where they did. "I do not know. I was… just sad."
"I understood that when it happened." Ferio smiled, and her magic brushed the outskirts of Aperio's. "I meant your aura. It's...calmer? But also stronger."
"Because we are in my Void?"
Ferio shook her head. "No, it’s not that."
Aperio looked within herself, wanting to know what, if anything, had changed. A small thought, and a ball of her own mana formed in her hand. It felt good, she knew at once. Even easier to control. Closer to what it should be. Its colour had also changed, as the sphere in her hand now looked more silvery. Before, her mana had been more blue, with only tiny streaks of silver in it, but now silver was far and away the most dominant colour. Is that why it feels easier to use? Will this happen every time I get closer to my true Domain?
"I figured out a Domain. Or part of it at least?"
In shock, Ferio pulled away from the hug, looking over her mother from head to toe as though trying to spot some sort of physical change. "You did what?"
"I thought about how I would strive to become better, to be able to achieve my goals," Aperio said, tilting her head to the side. "Then something fell into place and it felt right. Strive also feels right. Not whole, but right."
Ferio looked thoughtful at her words. "You did always strive to improve yourself but, as you said yourself, there has to be more to it. Do you remember anything now?"
"No," Aperio replied quietly, glancing away so she wouldn't have to see her daughter's face fall in disappointment. "I do not."
"It’s okay,” Ferio said, gently tilting her mother's head back towards her. “We will just start with the Crystals. They seem to be the only way."
Finding herself at a lack of anything more to say, Aperio held out her hand. Her intention was clear; return to the mortal realm. Her daughter's hand slid into hers, and with another flex of her mental muscles the two Goddesses reappeared exactly where they had been.