Forgotten Girl Quest

“Of course I know how to bake a pie,” Sofiane said, standing in the doorway to his room at the inn, ruffled sleeves folded. “What do you take me for?”

Daisy looked sheepish. Natsuko’s eyebrow twitched.

“However, it defeats the point of playing up your archetype if you have someone else help, does it not?” Sofiane added.

“Sorry, Sofi…” Daisy said, sounding like a scolded child.

“And I told you not to call me Sofi!”

“You two have met before then, I take it?” Natsuko asked.

“The top of the Use-Number charts is a small world,” Sofiane said. “The Celestials only use so many Heroes regularly."

“Oh yeah! You disappeared last week, didn’tcha?” Daisy said. “Cuz a’ Koyon?”

Sofiane sighed. “Yes. Because of Koyon. Obviously because of— hey!”

Daisy pinched his cheeks. “Oh Sofi, you’ll always be my favorite little adorable boy!”

“Stop! Stop! Cease this at once mademoiselle, you injure my pride!” Sofiane said, pushing himself away from her.

“Aww, come on Sofi, don’t play hard to get,” Natsuko taunted from behind Daisy.

“And you can suck my ass, firecrotch.”

“Suck your ass? How about I send something else up there instead,” Natsuko said, stomping the floorboards. The two of them tried to square up, but Daisy reached out with one hand and kept both of them at bay. Her extended palm was like running into a steel beam.

“No fightin’! We’re here to bake pies, not punch guys,” Daisy said with a sagely nod.

Natsuko squinted. “Punch guys?”

“I’m workin’ on my poetry too!”

“Well I’m sorry, but I can’t help,” Sofiane said. “I’m busy.”

Behind him, Natsuko could see what he was “busy” with, namely a pile of light novels next to an ongoing sculpture project of empty bottles of sparkling rosé and dirty plates rising from a sea of soiled sheets. It was genuinely impressive how quickly Sofiane had turned his inn room into a depression den. With one final glance, he shut the door.

“At least you’ll help me though, right Natsu?” Daisy asked.

“Uh… like I said, I’m not exactly a baker, plus I was planning on… um..."

Daisy sighed. “I understand. This isn’t exactly the most rewarding event. I’m sure you all are busy and the itty-bitty lil’ 100,000 Ying reward ain't much.”

Sofiane’s door flung back open. “On second thought, mademoiselle, it would be a dishonor for me to abandon such a fine lady as—”

Natsuko slammed Sofiane’s door in his face and leaned against it to keep him blocked in. “I think I’ve got room in my schedule. Just the two of us ought to be enough. Too many cooks spoil the… pie, right?”

Sofiane shoved his shoulder into the door, bumping it open. Wincing from the pain, he said, “I believe you would prefer someone with more baking experience, non?”

Natsuko grabbed Daisy by the shoulders. “Love. I bake love into my pies. Something that shallow little peacock over there has never known. And I know you—”

“Her “love” imparts notes of ash and filth, mademoiselle,” Sofiane said, elbowing Natsuko in the ribs.

Daisy put her fists on her hips and let loose another one of her max volume, snorting guffaws. Before Sofiane and Natsuko could continue with their aggressive sales pitches, Daisy threw her inhumanly-strong arms around both their necks and squeezed.

“We’re gonna be a lil’ baking team, I’m so excited! We oughta come up with a name, and matching outfits, and ooh! Custom baking sheets!” she said with a squeal.

Once Daisy freed them from her chokehold, Sofiane said, “ack! Let’s—cough—focus on just the baking part for now, oui? Maybe come up with what type of pie we want to make?”

“Oh that’s already set! The theme is fall pies and I was thinkin’ a nice, buttery pumpkin pie!”

Sofiane and Natsuko glanced at each other. Sure, 33,333 Ying was less than 50,000, but it wasn’t nothing. For Natsuko that was roughly 45 nights of drinking and for Sofiane it meant numbers went up, which was his favorite direction for them to go in.

The three of them made their way to the market square of Vermögenburgh and Natsuko’s hangover was almost gone before they ran into Pechorin on the way there. He was leaning against a fence with his chin in his trench coat collar, caught up in angsty brooding. Yet, despite the coordinated effort of a suddenly-cooperating Sofiane and Natsuko, Pechorin managed to spot and intercept them before they could detour Daisy through an alley.

“It seems we’ve got an even bigger score to settle this time, ma’am,” Pechorin said, hands hovering over his holsters.

“No, me kicking you into a bottomless pit made us square,” Natsuko said. “Now git!”

“Hmm? What’s all this now?” Daisy asked.

“Nothing,” Sofiane and Natsuko said in unison.

“Hmm. I don’t know about that,” she said, stepping around them to extend a hand out to Pechorin. “Name’s Daisy, how d’ya do?”

He looked at her palm. “I mean no offense, m’lady, but these hands of mine are bloodied. I don’t want to pollute you.”

“Oh you’re a Baphomet type a’ Hero?” Daisy asked, recalling her hand.

Pechorin frowned. “No, Baphomet is a Pechorin-type of Hero.”

“Can’t say I’ve heard of ya. Are ya a 1st-gen?” she asked.

It wasn’t meant to be an insult, but Natsuko winced anyway. Pechorin, on the other hand, puffed with pride. “Dead on.”

“Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. Awful stuff with that stat inflation and all,” Daisy said. “You’ve got my sincerest sympathies.”

Natsuko decided not to mention her own 1st-gen credentials. She wasn’t looking for sympathy handouts, sincere or otherwise.

“I need not your sympathies. I forge my own path, cursing fate as it has cursed me, in mutual animosity.”

Daisy gave a quick little clap with her wrists together. “Ooh such good poetry! I love to meet other poets.”

“My poetry comes naturally, as my tortured soul yearns to expose its depths to all who would listen,” Pechorin said.

“Great. Now let’s get going,” Natsuko said, attempting to push Daisy towards the pie contest in the town square. Moving a cathedral would have been easier. Daisy didn’t budge an inch, or even register that Natsuko was trying.

“Say, do you know how to bake pies?” Daisy asked.

Pechorin turned away dramatically with a forlorn look in his eye. “I have forsaken sweets. I nourish myself with the bitterness of the world.”

Daisy snapped her finger. “Rats! We’re planning to enter a pie-baking contest and we could use all the help we can get.”

“Actually, I think our current roster is looking pretty good,” Sofiane said. “It really doesn’t take that many people to make a pie. We just need to puree the pumpkin, crush the spices, make the flake crust, and—”

“If fate has led you to me then perhaps I am behooved to join,” Pechorin said. “I will find some way to contribute, even if it be to throw myself upon the fire as kindling.”

Seeing she had lost against Daisy’s innate ability to accumulate people to do her bidding, Natsuko’s back-up plan was to give Pechorin whatever job would send him away the longest.

“Go get us a pumpkin,” Natsuko said.

Pechorin stared at her. “You want me to get you a pumpkin…”

“We can’t make a pumpkin pie without it, obviously!”

“I shall find you a pumpkin which suits my dark, twisted tastes,” he said.

“Great,” Natsuko said with a clap and a finger gun. “You do that. Now, let’s go register, Daisy.”

Waving good-bye to Pechorin, Daisy meandered over to the market square. Hundreds of Non-Heroes were already packed in around the six portable baking stations set up inside food wagons. Originally created as a way for Heroes to earn some reward money, perform their archetype, and win some special items (special for their time, anyway), the Non-Heroes had taken over the Monthly Pie-Baking Contest as a source of entertainment once Heroes stopped finding it worthwhile to enter.

One baking station was manned by a team of scholars from the Mage’s College dressed up in the same robes as Shuixing and intently engaged in the process of steam-distilling oils out of their spices to make an extract. Another station by a team comprised of Dugen the blacksmith, Lawrence the pawn shop owner, Wilhelm the Quartermaster of the Knights of Innocentus, and Boben the Adventurer, all burly men with giant arms, packed into their station so tightly they kept knocking things over. The two teams beside them were made up of the little girl who ran the accessory shop and her friends, and a group of goblins who were allowed into the city for this event only. This left two open stations to register for.

Natsuko, Sofiane, and Daisy were the only Heroes in sight. As Daisy wandered off to get them registered, Sofiane leaned over to Natsuko. “This shouldn’t be too hard. It’s just a pie, right? There’s no way we don’t clean up.”

Natsuko dapped him up. When it came to making money, they were on the same page.