Forgotten Dungeon

Uno

I admit, I panicked.

Just when I managed to wrangle my mana into usefulness and force the damn megaphone to work all my creatures were already down on the floor, squirming, with the Guardian being the only exception. Even worse - my guests had joined them, blood trickling out of their ears and noses. I sure hoped that no permanent damage was done, especially since I just finished creating my newest toy. It would be a shame if I had to revert to drawing pictures or writing words, just because their eardrums had ruptured. It was more personal to speak face to face even if technically I didn’t have one.

Then again I could ask the Butchers to try and make some kind of a hearing aid. Ratlings could also help with that, one of the Rat Councilors specialized in creating machinery, after all. Surely the cost would be minimal, as they had already mostly analyzed human anatomy. Only a puppet or maybe three would have to be sacrificed in the process… We had a bunch of sapients upstairs too, in case they were needed to further the scientific progress.

Anyway, I noticed the problem and reacted immediately even if it was mostly by flailing around in panic. It was hard to understand the situation, so my habit of speaking aloud resurfaced and somehow managed to make the situation even worse.

Damn it.

It was only when Charles whispered “too loud” that I was able to recognize what happened. This new machine of mine didn’t have a volume setting! It just converted the mana I provided directly into sound. And since I was all gung-ho about talking, I kinda pumped it all the way up.

The criminal was in the room all along.

Sigh.

Here went my good first impression.

At least now I had a weaponized megaphone, so it wasn’t all bad. I’m sure that the Ratlings would be delighted. Gotta send them copies… whoops, that’s a thought for the future. Let’s focus on the now.

What should I do? Should I try to gloss over the situation? Or just say that they have passed my test, by virtue of not dying?

But then my creatures were on the floor too.

Argh!

Whatever.

Let’s just roll with it. I will work my way through the list. First, introductions.

“Hello! Sorry for the mess! My name is Uno, and I’m the master of this dungeon.”

“A few of my creatures will arrive shortly with wet towels and bandages. I hope nobody was too badly hurt. Please don’t be afraid and let them do their thing. You won’t be harmed, I promise.” I blared the words at the much lower mana levels and the guests' reaction seemed acceptable. As in they didn’t continue to twitch on the floor.

I also specifically didn’t add that it was the spider-like Butchers who were chosen to help them. Here’s hoping that no one had arachnophobia.

The people and monsters in the room slowly rose to their feet, their stances still a bit wobbly. A group of scissor-handed monsters entered a minute later, carrying warm water and pieces of cloth. The reaction was less than ideal, as humans observed the newcomers with suspicious expressions, ready to spring into action at any sign of betrayal. Good thing my creatures didn’t give them an excuse to bloody the floor even more.

In the end, I ordered the Butchers to leave the cloth and water nearby and evacuate the premises. This allowed Charles to focus and give an answer to my introduction.

“As you probably know I am called Charles, formerly a scion of the Blueflame house.” He bowed slightly, with a hand on his chest. “I’m the person responsible for the Silver Oasis outpost, built above your dungeon. We’re an entity independent from the Geinard Kingdom… although that’s mostly not by a choice.” He grimaced. “On my left stands Master Vincent, an archmage and wizard extraordinaire, wielding the power of arcane magic.”

The helmet-wearing man in question bowed deeper than Charles. “It’s an honor to meet you!” He exclaimed happily. “I have so many questions…” His grin looked a little scary.

“My other retainer is Adam, a long-time servant, and a trusted aide.”

The other old man bowed deeply, before speaking in a calm and measured tone. “An honor.” His gaze was focused on my fake onyx core. “It is the first time I managed to gaze upon the magnificence of a dungeon core crystal.” He bobbed his head. “The stories don’t come close to the reality.”

“Hello, I’m also glad to have met you!” I answered in a bubbly manner. Oh dear, this first real interaction with humans sure got me in a twist! I grinned mentally before continuing.

“I hope that the welcome wasn’t too unpleasant. There were some problems, but I had to work on the spot, to make the communication viable. After all, usually, it’s not needed.” I explained, before noticing a suspiciously greedy look in Vincent’s eye. “It’s all good now, however, so we can start.”

“Start?” Charles repeated after me, his face scrunched in suspicion. “I still have questions. And I won’t budge before I get them answered.”

“Oh, come on!” I sighed aloud. Seeing his steely gaze I changed the tone. “Ask away, then. I won’t promise complete truths, though.”

“First, who are you? I mean, really. The dungeon cores are feral things, lacking not only intelligence but often even animalistic cunning. You… you are a different beast.”

“Is that so?” I idly mused. “But there are others like me, though? Forgotten Dungeons you called them. Beasts given reason, continuing your analogy.”

“You are still not the same!” Charles answered, his teeth clenched. “Even your word games betray how different you are. Yes, these dungeons use tactics, plan ahead, and even can feel fear… But they use these advantages to further their goals. Clean, easy-to-understand goals! To enlarge the dungeon, to defeat delvers, to protect their core!”

“And I do not?”

“More word games!”

I glanced at the agitated mage. His eyes were burning and it seemed like he wasn’t going to let the question be ignored. And like hell I was going to admit that I was a former human. Silver Oasis people may accept the explanation, but I sure didn’t want to provoke the religious nuts from Luna Kingdom or that Elven Theocracy. Especially since the gods who sent me here were fucking incompetent.

“I don’t know what I am.” I lied through my teeth. At least my robotic tone lacked inflection. “I was born under these ruins years ago and slowly gained intelligence. The multiple artifacts that lay under the sands were consumed during my growth and in turn, they strengthened my personality until Uno was born.”

“It means ‘one’, you know?” I continued. “In the language that nobody around here speaks anymore.” This at least wasn’t a lie. “Because I am the first, and probably the last of my kind.”

“Such a waste…” Murmured Master Vincent. “How many magical items had you feed on, to evolve so much?”

“More like, how many items had Henrik Waltzer gathered in the basement of his castle.” Adam added his own take. “And do any of them still exist?”

“Why do you think the dungeon ends on the fourth floor?” I shot back.

“A shame…”

“Now, now. Not everything had been lost.” It was time for a little needling. “It’s curious, however, how your people blatantly ignore the resurfacing relics you so praise.”

It took Charles only a few seconds to understand my jab. “The thunder-infused weapons?”

“Bingo!” I laughed.

“What?”

“That means ‘correct’.”

“I see. Dammit, that came out of nowhere. We need to reevaluate… I assume we can expect more artifacts to resurface?”

“Sure.”

“It would be the greater boon if only the trade with the Kingdom didn’t dry up…” The former noble refocused his attention on my fake core. “Only one question remains, then.” Charles inhaled deeply, not noticing Master Vincent’s hurt look. “What do you want from us? What is your goal, Uno?”

“Oh, come on! Drop the pretense. What do I want? I could ask you the same question! The leader of the settlement, mage or not, wouldn’t be delving this deep into the dungeon unless something truly devastating happened! So out with it.”

“What? That’s…” He hesitated and I couldn’t stop myself from sighing. Oh well… it’s a time good as any for a little… play.

“You see, we are not so different - you and I.” I exclaimed, observing Charles’ mood before laughing aloud. “Why the long face?” It was all so cliche! “Hahahahahahahaha!” The sound of a metallic chuckle filled the room, visibly upsetting the humans.

“Both of us were dealt a bad hand by the fates. Or, more probably by these ignorant gods!” There was another flinch. Ah, yes. Religion. Let’s stop with lambasting. “Both you and I will do anything to reach our goals, no matter the consequences.”

“So I’ll turn the question around. What do you want to do, even if the world has to burn? And what are you prepared to sacrifice for it to be done?” I grinned. Was this how Palpatine felt, tempting Anakin? One way or another this was so much fun!

The red-haired mage steadied his breathing before answering. “You’re not wrong. What I lack most is the strength to oppose the giants fighting on my doorstep. The Geinard Kingdom, the undead, and even the half-elves are keeping an eye on us. It is easy to become collateral without some kind of protection.”

“Gaining strength is easy, as long as you desire it enough to forsake your humanity.” I answered leadingly, before observing Charles’ frown in response.

Too bad the laughter in my words didn’t translate through the megaphone. Should I name it a magic-phone? Hmmm… Let’s focus. “Oh come on!” I answered calmly. “You don’t think such things are easy to do? There is - there has to be - a price to be paid. A law of equivalent exchange, if you wish.” I spouted more bullshit. At least a few ways of strengthening were banal to pull off. But I disliked giving out things on principle. Call me a Scrooge all you want, but nobody values boons they got for free.

“Yes, I understand, but that’s not the real reason I’ve come here today.” He answered stiffly.

“So?”

“My fiance, Agnes was hurt by an unusual curse. I want you to destroy the binds of foul magic and free her from its power.”

“That’s a courageous course of action, boy.” The old mage mused, his face brightening. “Are you sure? While the Geinard Kingdom might be lenient for now they’ll surely mobilize once one of the Pillars has been dealt with.”

Vincent chucked for a second. “Even if it would be only to seek revenge.”

“Master! Please reconsider!” The butler hastily added. “We lack the strength to face the consequences.”

I laughed again. “I see, I see! You want your lovebird back, before throwing your humanity away to defend her? Romantic! I like it! And to do so you’ll easily taunt the giants brawling on your doorstep.” I lied. The course of his actions was of no importance as long as I got my hands on his body. Ah, that sure sounded perverted.

“I would prefer if you didn’t call her a ‘lovebird’.” The red-haired mage scoffed. “She had sacrificed much for my wellbeing, it’s only proper that I repay her. After all, she was the only one who found worth in me.”

“Dude, are you a simp?” I asked. Whoops, I didn’t mean to say it… the judgment kinda slipped out.

“What? What does that even mean?”

“Don’t worry about it, don’t worry…” I mumbled, before forcefully changing the topic. “Anyway, sure. I can do curse cleansing. Of course, I would need some… incentive to start the procedure.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“For one I want a mage with an intact core and additionally a few normal humans. Alive, of course. Preferably female.”

“For what purpose?”

“I have some experiments to run, and I’ve already finished going through my stock.”

“Does that mean the undead monstrosities we encountered down here were made from Geinard Kingdom’s citizens?” Adam puffed up, his hand crawling closer to the rapier.

“Of course not!” He exhaled, relaxing slightly. “I’ve used them in more important experiments than simply turning sentients into undead! I already know how to do that!”

“Y-you, m-mon-monster!” The instant spluttering was so gratifying. After a fit of giggling, I started to answer.

“Anyone who delves into my depths is fair game. You plunder my resources, kill the creatures, and occupy the first floor against my will, so I will extract the price in blood. That is only fair.” There was a heavy silence, the humans suddenly understanding who they were talking to. I was not a friendly grandpa or one of their own. I was a predator made for one purpose only. To cull humans. “I am not an animal you tamed. I am not like other cores. And I know that if I had a head, arms, and legs, what you’ve been doing to me would be classified as theft. As arson. Murder. Rape.”

I exhaled. The emotional response was troubling. I guess, that's what I get for actually speaking with real people after doing monologues all on my own.

“So don’t you dare to lecture me on the morality of my actions, human. An eye for an eye. It is only proper.”

“I-I’m sorry for the words of my subordinate.” Charles unwillingly bowed his head. I observed him for a moment, before speaking back.

“Don’t be. I understand the sentiment. People die in my halls. They lose their loved ones. To act composed and analytical about it would be a foolish endeavor. The emotions are not so easy to quell.”

I coughed fakely. “Now, back to the deal. Like I said, a mage and a few humans. I don’t care if they’re your citizens, criminals, or outsiders. What matters is that they breathe, and are in a conscious condition.”

“What are the chances of their survival?”

“Eh… that’ll wary. I would say 20-80.”

“As in one in a five chance to survive?”

“Of course.”

“Do they need to have their bodies intact?”

“Master?!” The butler Adam shouted with indignation.

“Shush. The adults are talking.” I admonished the man’s subordinate and it took Charles only a single glare to quieten him down. Morality was such a burden. “Not in the slightest. You can bring me all the nuggies in the world and I still would accept them.”

“Nuggies?”

“People with no arms and legs.”

”I see.” The mage turned around, his face bereft of emotion. “Adam, how many of the veterans are heavily wounded? And I mean those in critical condition. Not the ones who can recover.”

“A dozen or two, master.” The servant answered unwillingly.

“I see. We can always frame the experiment as a procedure to regrow their body parts. I am sure that they would agree, even if we exaggerate the risks. Not many want to be a burden for their family, forced to simply watch as the world goes by.”

“And we’re not even lying, because there’s a chance of recovery, no matter how small.” Charles turned his intent gaze towards my fake onyx core. “They will be returned, if they manage to live through it, right?”

“If the procedure works, then sure. They might have a special ability or two, including additional limbs or bonus brain damage, but yeah. It’s basically healing. Not counting the mage, of course. There is no chance in hell to survive what I’ve planned for that patient.”

“I see. Don’t worry, for that… procedure I already have a candidate ready. It’s not a woman, though. You’ll have to live with that.”

“I am so disappointed.” I answered flatly.

“Surely you don’t have any of my students in mind, boy?” The helmeted mage mumbled, observing Charles with a frowning face.

“Of course not, Master Vincent! You probably remember the worm who attacked me after delivering Agnes to the outpost?”

“Ah, that earth mageling. What was his name?”

“I believe he was called Peter.” Adam answered.

“Yes, yes. Good seed, that one, at least when it came to magic. Not so good when it came to anything else.”

“That’s describing it lightly. No sane person, mage or not, would’ve attacked the outpost leader. I may not be a noble, but at the time I was still an official of the Geinard Kingdom.” Charles shook his head in dismay. “Let’s not talk about fools. If that’s all, then I believe we have a deal.”

“Well, there are two more things.”

He frowned.

“I’m listening.”

“The girl needs to be transported down to the fourth floor. Only here do I have the infrastructure and servants capable of saving her.”

“What? Unacceptable! She would be your hostage in all but name!” The mage stood up, agitated, a greenish aura of mana appearing around his body. My servants reacted immediately, reaching for their weapons. The situation escalated in but a mere second.

[Take it easy, Guardian.] I sent to the armored knight, and he relaxed immediately. Such a touching display of trust.

“Calm down, please.” I broadcasted sardonically. “Do you have any other way, then? Will your people accept my monsters walking around their homes? Will your mages ignore the screams that the experiments will cause? Please, enlighten me.”

There was anger on the mage’s face as he stared down my crystal.

“Ease up, boy.” It was Master Vincent’s voice that surprisingly stopped the showdown. “You’ve already dipped your toes and now you refuse to take a plunge. It’s already too late. If the Kingdom had any spies in your colony - and surely they do exist - then the king and the queen were already informed about your actions.”

“What other cause would you have to delve into the depths of a Forgotten Dungeon if not trying to dislodge the Succubus' greedy fingers from your fiancee?” The old mage continued. “They won’t take any risks.”

“The die has been already cast.” I mused.

“An interesting saying. Did you borrow it from the ancients?” Vincent’s leathery face brightened with curiosity.

“Who knows.” I evaded before glancing at the nervous humans. “Give me a break. I’ll even allow some of your soldiers to be stationed with her.”

“Why? To get you more experimental subjects? Not a chance!”

“Tsk.” I clucked my tongue. It was a small distraction, needed to deceive Charles, to show that he was still in control. After all, I don’t have a tongue or face. Not anymore. But if my plan goes through… “So? What will it be?”

“You have a deal.” He answered darkly. “And the second condition?”

“I’ll need you to accompany me for a moment after the procedure with your fiancee is done. There’s an artifact that I’ll need to integrate with a human and you’re the best candidate.”

“So I’ll basically be a sacrifice?”

“Oh, come on. It’s not like I’m an evil monster. Give me a break. I need you to grow stronger, just like we talked before. Your Silver Oasis managing to beat back the baddies would be nice for me too, you see. The price will be steep, but who needs humanity, am I right?” I responded with a false cheer.

“There is no trust between us.”

“Yup.”

“And yet you ask to believe you.”

“Do you have any other choice?”

“Haaaa…”

And just when everything was going right as I planned a certain gloomy girl teleported into the room. Her eyes were wide open, filled with murderous rage. She wore her silver leg and arm with a sass uncommon in an undead. Former adventurer, former Princess’ aide, and currently a Revenant in my employ had decided to bring her two cents to the negotiations table.

“Trai. Tor.” She wheezed, staring down at the human guests.

“Non, please…” I begged while nudging Guardian to block her approach.

“Tinna? You were alive?” Charles added to the chaos, trying to get closer to my Iron-Melded Revenant. “Tinna!”

Fuck.

And it was going so great…