For Your Failed Unrequited Love

Nevertheless, Lucy could not easily give up her time with Felix. The time she spent with him was fun and happy. He is caring, kind, and he makes her laugh.

Lucy was distressed by the gap between Felix’s irresistible temptation and status difference, but she was able to endure the pain whenever she saw Felix’s face. The hurtful words that she overheard in the garden melted away naturally as she listened to Felix’s voice.

They became closer, and Lucy realized that she couldn’t change her mind. Even if she likes him alone and gets hurt by herself, she can never stop her feelings. She just likes being beside him. She thought she could be satisfied just by helping Felix study for the exam.

Felix was never alone with any girls. But Lucy was an exception. His attitude toward Lucy certainly seemed to suggest that he wanted to be with her apart from asking for help in studying for the exam. Lucy believed so.

But…

“What? Are you going out with her?” 

“What are you talking about? Why should I?”

“Well, there’s no way you’re going to meet a kid who doesn’t fit your level.”

As soon as she heard what he said in front of the library, Lucy in her dream came back to reality.

Oh, yeah. Level.

It was once again a moment when she realized how far the distance was between her and Felix. She was poor. She herself had expectations that she would never receive an answer. She couldn’t help but be ashamed of herself. 

She decided to wake up completely from this dream. Before she knew Felix. If she could go back to before she got to know him, she wouldn’t be as miserable as she is now.

Late at night, Lucy went in front of the boys’ dormitory. She sat in the flower bed in front of the dormitory and waited for Felix. Felix, who appeared in the dark, looked surprised as soon as he saw her. Soon a deep shade fell on his face.

As expected, … Are you feeling uncomfortable now?

It’s okay to meet alone, but it’s difficult to meet in public.

When she stood in front of him, she was worried that what she had to say would not come out of her mouth, but she was worried for nothing. When she met Felix, she was able to say that she should not see her personally any more easily.

Along with that, she was also able to say her innermost thoughts.

“…I’ve enjoyed spending the last few weeks with sunbae. We went to town together, and we studied together.”

Yeah. Maybe it’s the last time I’ll be able to talk to him.

Lucy spoke frankly of her feelings that she had endured. It was hard to see what Felix’s expressions were. Only his blurred figure, standing in the darkness, remained in her memory.

After saying everything, Lucy ran away from the boys’ dormitory.

After returning to the girls’ dormitory, Lucy sat down leaning against the wall. She buried her face with her knees together.

She had never felt such pain before. This autumn seemed to be unforgettable.

* * *

It hasn’t been a long time since she fell asleep, but she felt the dawn rising over her eyelids. Lucy woke up and blinked slowly.

She still feels tired. Maybe she wasn’t able to get enough sleep. But somehow, she couldn’t seem to get back to sleep, so she got up from bed.

Jemima yawned loudly when she opened her eyes to Lucy’s movement.

“Lucy…..you can sleep for another hour or so.”

“Today is the first day of the examination.”

A hoarse voice came out of Lucy’s mouth. She staggered to the desk and pulled out a chair. The dragging of the chair filled Jemima’s face with anxiety.

“…that’s what I’m saying. Studying now won’t change much. You’re always working hard; you’re really going to die. So, when you take the exam, believe in your usual skills, and for now, just sleep well.”

Jemima got out of bed and approached her, lifting Lucy up from her chair. But Lucy insisted that the important part should be reviewed one last time. However, Jemima, who saw her bloodshot eyes, did not let it slide this time.

“You’re really going to faint if you keep doing that. What’s the point of studying so hard if you faint?”

Eventually, by Jemima, Lucy was forced to lie on the bed. Contrary to Lucy’s expectation that she would no longer be able to sleep, she fell asleep faintly.

As a result, listening to Jemima was a good choice. Just getting another hour or so of sleep seemed to make Lucy feel much better. Her eyes were still red, and there was black shadow under her eyes.

Lucy has had to spend more time studying than ever in recent days. This is because she had trouble concentrating and could not spend her time efficiently.

She was definitely reading a book, but the words didn’t come into her head. She read the question, but she couldn’t understand it at once. But she couldn’t just skip it, so she spent more time pushing the letters into her head.

When she gets distracted a bit, her thoughts go straight to another place. Her eyes went to the empty seat.

They only studied together a few times but Felix’s absence felt too great.

It was not once or twice that she wanted to take back what she had told him. In fact, she never meant what she said about not studying together.

But Felix Berg was a very distant man, a person from another world who would never fit in or blend in with her world.

All the more reason Lucy tried not to think of him. She had to wake up from her dream and come back to reality. Keep the Top position and secure the scholarship until graduation.

This was the only reality Lucy had to accept.

“Eat a little,” said Jemima, looking at Lucy, who had no appetite even when she arrived at the restaurant. From the side, Rita looked at her with a worried look on her face.

“I’m fine. If I eat a lot before the exam, I’ll feel sick.” 

Eventually, Lucy finished her meal without eating half of the food.

When Lucy arrived at the classroom, she sat at her desk, took a deep breath, and waited for the teacher to come in. Mr. Peter, who appeared shortly afterwards, handed out the test papers to the first line.

I need to pull myself together.

She repeated that thought countless times. No matter what the situation was, the top position had to be kept at all costs.

Lucy calmed down her unusual throbbing heart and read the examination paper before her.

* * *

The three-day examination was over.

A few days later, second graders gathered in front of the bulletin board on the first floor. It was because of the ranking table stuck in the center of the bulletin board. All the students who stood in the front and checked their rankings first looked surprised. They exchanged glances and murmured.

Lucy and Colin, who were standing in the back, also dug forward to check their performance. Lucy, who stood in front of the ranking table, checked her name from the top row as always.

1st place, Eric Roman.

The moment she saw a name that wasn’t hers, Lucy hardened like a stone statue. She stared blankly at the strange name for a long time. No matter how many times she looked at it, she couldn’t understand.

Colin, who was standing next to her, grabbed her by the shoulder before she could respond. 

“Lucy…”

It wasn’t his usual cheerful voice, but his sad voice. But Lucy was not in the mood to answer. Her gaze shifted down a line.

However, her name was not next to “Top 2.” The same was true of “Top 3.” Lucy looked down in disbelief.

Top 4, Lucy Keenan.

It was a rank she had never received before. 

“Top 4…” murmured Lucy, with a vain face. The shock was so great that she couldn’t think of anything. She couldn’t even feel Colin’s slight shaking her shoulders.

“Lucy, are you all, right?” Colin asked her quietly. Only then did Lucy wake up and look around. Then the students, who were secretly looking at her, hurriedly turned away.

“Yeah, I’m all right…….” Lucy smiled awkwardly and replied, because she could not let other people see her tearful face. 

Lucy walked out in front of the bulletin board and said to Colin, who was following her.

“I’ll walk alone for a while.”

At Lucy’s words, Colin looked at her with a pitiful look. However, he thought it would be better to leave her alone, so he just stood there.

It was the eyes of the other students that followed her instead of Colin. Everyone looked at Lucy and was busy talking about her finally coming down from the top spot.

Lucy escaped from their sight and came out to the campus. As she was trudging, she fell down on the bench that she saw in front of her.

Before she was disappointed, worries and fears flooded in like waves.

Fourth place was also high, but the problem was that Lucy’s score and Eric Roman’s score were quite different. Even if Lucy wins the final exam again, it is unlikely that she would be able to take the top spot in the second semester of the second year. As long as Eric doesn’t completely screw up his final exams.

The scholarship for the next semester was moving away from Lucy.

What should I do?

Lucy bit her lips with a nervous look. 

Of course, even if she didn’t get a scholarship next semester, she will still be able to continue attending the Academy. This is because Baron Connor would have offered to provide tuition fees if he knew.

But Lucy knew that the baron and the estate were not very rich. In addition, this summer, heavy rains and floods hit Brom, and the situation of the residents was not so good. Baron Connor would offer to provide Lucy with tuition fees, even in such a situation. Lucy wanted to avoid it as much as she could.

She felt someone sitting next to her while in agony.

“Lucy-sunbae,”

Before she knew it, Noel was sitting next to her.