For Your Failed Unrequited Love

Watching them only pained him further.

After a while, Felix put the book that he had opened into his bag. Having packed all his things, he tried not to look at the two as much as possible and left.

Lucy sensed Felix walking behind her and turned to look at him.

“I…”

Felix heard Lucy, but he did not stop walking. His steps were urgent as he left the library as if he was on the run. Running away from Lucy and Adrian’s close friendship.

No, from his own pathetic jealousy when he looked at them.

From the very beginning, he knew who was in Lucy’s heart, and it was his head that was in disarray. 

First, he went to Literature Night and was overly conscious of her, then he asked her to go to town together, and now, he asked her to study together for the exam. 

All of them happened because of him. He didn’t have to be upset with Lucy or be mean to Adrian just because she didn’t choose him.

“It’s all my fault,” he murmured, scratching his head.

Let’s not be pathetic anymore.

“Sunbae!”

Someone pulled hard at the hem of his clothes, and Felix looked back in astonishment. Lucy was holding the hem of his shirt, breathing heavily. 

“Lucy.”

She had hurried after Felix, bending over and looking up at him, catching her breath. 

“Well…”

Contrary to her pursuit, Lucy could not easily open her mouth. Her eyes were shaking greatly.

Felix’s eyes glittered with hope for a moment. He had run away from seeing how close Lucy and Adrian were, but when he saw her coming after him, uncontrollable greed and anticipation soared within him.

Come on. Say it. Say, “Don’t worry about Adrian. In fact, I have no feelings for him”.

Felix looked at Lucy anxiously, knowing that she would never say those words.

Lucy, who was catching her breath, finally opened her mouth. “…If you need any books, please let me know. I’ve found some books that will help you.”

“…Oh.”

Her words left Felix speechless.

What did I expect?

He laughed at how ridiculous he was being.

“It’s all right,” he replied. “I haven’t finished reading everything you gave me last time.”

Yeah, she wouldn’t say that.

Lucy caught him one more time as Felix turned away, now resigned. 

“Sunbae, are you going to the room next week?” Her face was filled with worries. Her hand holding the hem of his clothes seemed to tremble slightly.

At the same time, sadness also appeared on Felix’s face.

Why do you ask me that? Why are you pretending to care about me with that look on your face? It’s Adrian who you really like, not me.

Felix’s judgment was strangely twisted. He wanted to complain to her like a child. He raised his head in the hope that she would be hurt as much as he was.

Not surprising that he had such a childish side, Felix uttered an irrevocable remark. “I’m sorry. I’ll just prepare for the exam by myself.”

“What?” Lucy’s face was contorted with confusion and disappointment. “Why all of a sudden….”

She wanted to ask, her face blank, but her words were drowned by the loud, oncoming chatters of people.

A group of third-year students from a nearby building were walking their way. One of them waved when he saw Felix. 

“Adrian! You said you were going to the library.”

“I think that’s Felix.” Someone from the crowd intervened. It was Claire Hamilton, a third-year female student. She looked at Lucy standing with Felix with a strange smile on her face. “It’s the junior from that time”.

Claire remembered what she had encountered in the garden over the weekend. Even the other students glanced at Lucy curiously at her words. 

As their attention was suddenly focused on her, Lucy stepped back, avoiding their gaze. Her face flushed in embarrassment.  

Felix took a step forward as if he were hiding Lucy behind him. However, before he could bring up anything to distract the students, Claire said, “You’ve been together a lot lately. You two seem to be very close.”

Claire stared directly at Lucy, and some of the students even exchanged silent glances with each other. Felix could fully guess the meaning behind those eyes. It was obvious that Lucy would be badly affected.

“What’s with her?” One of the boys asked while looking at the expressions of the other students. Then, feeling puzzled, he immediately asked Felix a question, “What? Are you going out with her?” 

“What are you talking about? Why would I?” An answer came out of Felix’s mouth immediately. He had a strong desire to protect Lucy from unnecessary interest and rumors.

However, only after Felix said those words, he realized it was an overreaction. Lucy might have been hurt. He closed his eyes tightly before opening them, then swung around to cover the situation.

“…She’s from the library, but she mistook me for Adrian and followed me.”

The boy who asked the question shrugged at Felix’s explanation. He looked as if he had expected it. “Well, there’s no way you’d date someone not on your level,” the boy said bitterly, almost in a sneer.

What?

Felix went numb as if he had been slapped hard in the face. He could hear Lucy’s breath hitched from behind him, but he couldn’t bear to look back. When he thought about how Lucy would feel and how she would look, his whole body went cold. 

Felix froze; anger came to him a second later when he realized he didn’t imagine the boy’s insult. He raised his hand, but a breeze blew by him before he could grab the boy by the collar. 

Lucy, standing behind Felix, hurried past him and the other students with her head down.

“Lucy!” Felix pushed the other students away and went after her. 

“Please don’t follow me,” Lucy spat out without even looking at Felix. He stopped in his tracks and couldn’t follow because he felt the misery in her choked voice. 

“Hey, Felix!” Someone grabbed him by the shoulder. It was the boy from before. He held Felix back, still laughing at Lucy, who was walking away. “What are you doing? This is not like you. Anyway, all those girls who approached you— Ack!”

He couldn’t finish his words and fell to the floor. Felix straightened his body after landing his fist on the boy’s face.

The other students gasped back at the sudden punch. They all looked surprised.

Felix has never hit anyone, no matter how agitated he was, and now no one knew how to deal with the situation. 

“What’s with that girl?” The look in their eyes seemed to be saying so.

“Felix!”

The beaten boy looked up at Felix, stopping the blood flowing from his nose. However, he could not speak anymore because of Felix’s cold expression as he stared at him. He then lowered his eyes.

Felix’s agitation did not subside with just one punch. However, just as he was about to grab the male student by the collar and pull him up at any moment, something came to his mind and stopped him.

Sunbae…

Lucy in his dream was pale, standing beside his father.

When the figure came to mind, a chill ran down Felix’s spine. He didn’t think it would be good for Lucy if he caused more trouble.

He walked away from the crowd of students staring at him, their eyes wide. He looked for Lucy as he walked, but he couldn’t see her. He felt that something had gone wrong and was nauseous. 

I have to tell you. That’s not what I meant.

Felix’s pace accelerated. Arriving in front of the library instantly, he entered without hesitation. He strutted up to the return table and looked around, but Lucy wasn’t there. The same was true for Adrian. 

He leaned his upper body inward with his hand on the return stand. They were not there either. There was only one book club member, someone he had never seen before.

“Where’s Lucy?” Felix strode up and asked.

The book club member was puzzled and said, “What? I just took her shift, and then she went out with Adrian…”

Adrian.

Felix ran out of the library without letting the book club member finish talking. 

He searched every inch of the Academy for Lucy. Classrooms, corridors, cafeteria and gardens. But he couldn’t find her anywhere. 

As if she was hiding from him. 

He had never felt this desperate in his life.