First Song

It took me a while to recover from what I’d just read. My instinct was to freeze. What did she even mean?

E-fits aren’t cute. Especially ones of me. They’re strange collages of different facial features, all generated by a computer and stuck together like Frankenstein’s monster. How could that be considered cute?

SeaKo34: Are you still there?

SeaKo34: Sorry I didn’t mean to say that

Me: No it’s fine

Me: I’ve just never been called cute before

Except for by Sarah, but she’s my sister so that doesn’t count.

During the pause in our conversation, I heard the sounds of dinner being dished up in the kitchen. There was a lot of banging of plates and clattering of pans, meaning that I’d be called down imminently. I’d lost track of time talking to them.

Resigned, I pulled myself off the bed and turned towards the door. The sight of the squirrel on its hind legs, peering out the window, drew my attention. What was it looking at? A quick glance showed me nothing, so I gave it a scritch and opened the latch, just in case it wanted to go outside.

Someday I would need to name it. It can’t just be called ‘squirrel’ forever.

‘She is female, Erin,’ Muse corrected.

Alright. She can’t just be called ‘squirrel’ forever.

I took my phone downstairs with me, finding my way to the dining table. Sarah was already there, and she gave me her adorable, sisterly smile. I returned it.

“Hey squirt,” I called to her as I sat down.

She giggled, “You can’t call me that any more. We’re the same height now!”

I waved my hand dismissively, “Pfft. You’re my little sister. You’ll always be a squirt to me.”

She pretended to glower at me, while I returned my best imperious smirk.

Over dinner, we discussed a few things, though I mostly kept quiet and let everyone else do the talking. I did tell them about the documents, even though they were low on my overall priority list right now.

My phone buzzed in my trouser pocket a few times while we were eating, but I refused to pull it out until later. Sarah was giving me questioning glances, but I discreetly pressed a finger to my lips. She’d find out later, she just needed to wait.

Mum asked me what I’d been doing today, but I was circumspect and just mentioned that we’d gone for a drive to show Rishaan the local sights. There was no way that I was going to mention what we’d actually done.

Once we’d finished and were clearing everything away, Sarah asked me about the flurry of messages. I gave her a wink. I pulled out my phone, showing her some of the messages I’d been exchanging with SeaKo34.

“We found Artemis, except they actually call themselves Hunter,” I said to her.

Sarah started reading some of the comments as I explained, her eyebrows rising, “What news reports are they talking about?”

Shit.

I glanced around, but saw Mum and Dad settling down to watch TV for the evening. They tended to do that most evenings, and I found it to be one of the most boring things you could possibly do.

“Uh… let’s go upstairs,” I told her.

She gave me a quizzical look, but followed me back to my room. I knew that she wouldn’t be happy until I’d told her, so I began from the beginning. I told her about what had happened over the day, but paused once I got to the events at the tree. It was tough going from there, and I had ended up with my head resting in my hands.

Sarah was listening intently, though I could tell that she was finding it surreal. Next, I told her how I’d accidentally hurt the Police officers, all because I’d lost control of my emotions and panicked. Her eyes were wide with shock and she seemed to be genuinely disturbed.

The idea that my own sister thought I was some kind of monster left me feeling hollow. She pulled me into a hug as I broke down into tears, holding me until they’d subsided.

Her voice gentle, she gestured towards my phone, “She seems to think you’re cute, though.”

She leaned in a little closer, and whispered, “I think she likes you.”

That made me blush and I

wiped away the tears from my eyes. I was still curious what she’d been trying to reach me for, so I looked over the messages I’d received over dinner.

SeaKo34: Seriously?

SeaKo34: Ok lady

SeaKo34: What’s your name btw?

SeaKo34: You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to

SeaKo34: Hello?

I smiled as I read the messages, and tapped out an answer.

Me: Hey, sorry. I had to go for dinner

Me: I’m Erin. You?

There wasn’t an immediate reply, and I let out a long sigh of disappointment.

“Wow,” Sarah said, her eyes on me now. The exclamation made me look up at her, eyebrows lifting.

“Oh. Nothing!” she teased, dragging out the end of the word.

I rolled my eyes at her, “What is it, Rah?”

“You two are too cute,” she said, ruffling my hair and moving for the door. “Have fun!”

She pulled the door behind her, waving until it was completely closed. What had just happened?

I sighed, flopping back onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling. The squirrel hadn’t been around when I’d got back to my room, so she was probably outside. I hope she doesn’t get hurt, being in such an unfamiliar place.

Because I wasn’t entirely sure that I hadn’t made Rishaan upset with me, I also took this opportunity to send him a text. I told him that I hoped he got home safely – and thanked him for being so awesome. I sent it, and waited.

Even after waiting for ten minutes, he still hadn’t responded.

I rested my phone on my ribs. My thoughts were beginning to drift over what had happened during the day. It had all been thoroughly crazy, but some of the events in the field were still hazy and jumbled to me. The narrative of what had happened was mostly in the right sequence. Without meaning to, my eyes had closed and I’d drifted off to sleep – my window allowing in a cool, late Spring breeze.

---

- Saturday -

Waking up, aching with muscle stiffness was not something I was used to, but it made sense. Yesterday had been the most active day I’d had since coming home, and my body was complaining. I’d also fallen asleep last night fully clothed, and I felt awful.

I checked the time on my phone and noticed that it was still pretty early in the morning. There were also a few messages that had come through after I’d fallen asleep.

When I checked them out, I saw that they were all from SeaKo34.

SeaKo34: Erin’s a really nice name

SeaKo34: Call me Casey

It made me feel a tiny bit better that I had a name to associate with her, instead of just her username. Casey.

Sarah hadn’t left me any clothes yet today – well, it was the weekend – so I slipped into one of my oversized t-shirts instead. Ugh. I couldn’t wait to have my own clothes, if for no other reason than I didn’t have to keep borrowing my little sister’s.

‘Erin, we should start to train soon,’ Muse commented to me as I descended the stairs. I was ravenous today, and feeling emotionally raw.

“Why? What does training involve?” I asked flatly, my voice barely above a whisper.

No one else was getting food when I entered the kitchen, and I unhurriedly prepared myself some cereal.

‘It involves us learning how to work together, and is an opportunity for you to improve your control,’ Muse answered, as I was pouring the milk.

Right now, all of that ‘space magic’ stuff just felt way too dangerous and I didn’t trust myself not to mess it up. In this case, it would mean hurting even more innocent people.

Images of how I’d electrocuted the Police officers flashed through my mind, making me squeeze my eyes shut.

‘Erin…’ Muse comforted, her voice soft in my head.

“Leave me alone,” I grumbled, picking up my cereal bowl and walking into the living room.

I sat at the table, brooding, hunched over my breakfast as I ate. Today, I felt like people were awful, and I just couldn’t handle them. Not least, me. I was the worst. I’d managed to mess up my relationship with Rish, to nearly

kill people and… and… there were probably other things, too – I just couldn’t think of them yet.

Tears were welling up behind my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t make them go back down. This had never been a problem before – hell I used to struggle to cry.

All of my self-hatred and doubt came out in that moment, and I sobbed.

I wasn’t sure how long I wept into my breakfast before I felt a comforting arm around my shoulder. Wordlessly, I was pulled into a hug as Sarah sat down next to me. The moment my own arms wrapped around her, the tears began in earnest – I’d lost control of them, too.

We sat like that for the best part of a minute, with Sarah making soothing noises and gently rubbing my back while I cried into her shoulder.

Eventually, my tears subsided into sniffling and I gently pulled away from her. Concern was all I could see on her face as she studied mine. I tried to give her a reassuring smile but it ended up just being a sad wobble of my bottom lip. She pulled me back into her embrace.

Once I had the sniffling in order, and the need to cry had worn itself out, she released me.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Erin,” she said, reaching for one of my hands.

Ugh. That question. I didn’t want to face it.

I looked up at the ceiling, using my free hand to wipe at my eyes. Where do I even begin?

She sat patiently, watching me while I got my thoughts in line. Slowly, and with a croak in my voice, I repeated what I’d told her yesterday about the incident. This time I included how I was a terrible and dangerous person, and that all I ever did was put myself ahead of other people.

“That’s nonsense,” she replied, squeezing my hand. “You’re one of the nicest, most caring people I know.”

I didn’t feel like I was.

She tutted when it became obvious that I didn’t believe her, and we hugged one more time.

“Thank you for being such a great sister,” I whispered.

She waved her hand dismissively, “It’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me.”

I hoped that was true.

She gave me a smile, then left to get her own breakfast. I followed behind.

We chatted for a little bit in the kitchen. I cleaned up my bowl while she prepared her own. On a whim, I ended up asking her if she knew what squirrels ate. That earned me one of her confused looks.

I actually felt much better after my sobbing episode with Sarah. Before my changes, crying had only left me feeling awful, but now I was calm. It was extremely cathartic.

The rest of the day was spent in my room, making sure I kept out of the way of other people. The e-fit had since been upgraded to an artist’s sketch of me. It had happened overnight, and was much closer to how I looked now. It even somewhat resembled Sarah.

I seriously hoped she didn’t get shit for what I’d done.

To help pass the time, I returned to messaging Casey – SeaKo34.

Me: So what do you think of the new picture?

SeaKo34: Huh?

Me: From the news

I waited for her to get back to me. I couldn’t help but smile as I sat on my bed, hugging one of my knees. The squirrel appeared at the window, hopping her way to sit next to me. Many scritches were had. She still needed a name…

SeaKo34: Wow

SeaKo34: That’s you?

Me: Pretty much yeah

SeaKo34: Waaaay better

My cheeks turned red and I tried to hide behind my knee.

I asked her if she had any wanted posters or police reports, so I could see what she looked like. The first video that I’d seen had shown her face, but it was too dark to make out much. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like there was one.

The squirrel was still fresh in my mind, and the naming problem was something I didn’t think I’d be able to overcome alone. So, I asked Casey for her opinion.

Me: What would you call a pet girl squirrel if you had one?

That was definitely a weird question, and not at all related to what we’d been discussing. Still, I was out of ideas. Other than the really lame names that could come from any children’s programme, I had no clue.

She came back with a single word: Sabina.

Okay. Sabina it is. I gave her some extra scritches as she stared up at my eyes.

‘She is happy with that name,’ Muse said to me, before falling silent again.

I’d totally forgotten about Muse. Oh my god.

That one reminder of her existence brought about a realisation of how dismissive I’d been to her earlier. Muse had never been anything less than kind to me, and had helped me through the hardest part of my life. The tears threatened to return, but I could feel Muse soothe them.

‘I am sorry for what happened. I miscalculated and was over eager to be complete again,’ she said now.

I closed my eyes, allowing the calm to spread through me.

‘You lost control of something that you had never experienced before. That is my fault. You should blame me and not yourself,’ she added.

She’s right, but how could I blame her? She’d been so kind and helpful to me, ever since the day I came home from university. As far as I was aware, she’d never lied to me, or tried to make me do something that I didn’t want.

Me: Thanks. She likes it

SeaKo34: Uh what? Who does?

---

It was moving into the evening when Rish eventually texted me back. He told me that he’d been making sure that there wasn’t a trail linking the two of us. His dives into his usual websites didn’t suggest that they were looking for anyone besides me.

Of course, that also means that if I were to get caught, they’d be able to track everything back to him. It was all really complicated, but effectively he was relying on me now more than ever, and I didn’t want to let him down.

Most of my life today seemed to be through text messages on my phone. What a teenage girl I’d become.

I smiled at the thought.

Rish and I exchanged apologies to each other for what happened yesterday – we each seemed to think that we’d left things awkward between us. I thanked him for being such a good friend. His reply was the thumbs up emoji.

My conversations with Casey were sporadic too. She must have a lot going on, on her end. It wasn’t until just before I was ready to turn in for the night that another message arrived from her.

SeaKo43: So, you wanted to know what I look like?

Well, I was definitely interested in getting a clearer view of her face, that was for sure. It was really bothering me that all I had was some crappy mobile phone’s attempt at night vision.

The next message that arrived was an image file.

Oh crap. Did she just send me a picture of herself?

I swallowed the worry in my throat, then pressed on the file icon to open it. There was a moment’s delay as it downloaded, then a picture appeared on the screen.

The woman staring at me was instantly familiar, and I found my memory returning to the first video I’d seen of her. I’d found myself drawn to her, even then, but this photograph revealed so much more detail.

I was immediately caught by her golden eyes – so similar to mine and yet somehow stronger. They were enhanced by dark eyeliner, amplifying the other-worldly appearance of her irises.

Her lips curved into a playful, yet self-confident smile while her hair was long, dark and messy. She had tied it back into a loose ponytail, which was resting on her shoulder.

My heart fluttered in my chest.

Um. Wow.

It only took me a few seconds to decide what I was going to do next.

I activated the camera on my phone.

Seeing myself for the first time in a little while, I smiled. The artist’s sketch really hadn’t been that bad at all, but it was already starting to look dated. I mussed up my own hair a little, gave the camera a small smile and took the picture.

Flipping back to our conversation, I was wondering if she’d been waiting the whole time for me to reply.

Me: Just wow

Me: I have something for you

And then my picture was on its way to her. Never in my life had I ever felt the urge to take a photograph of myself before. Normally I’d have avoided cameras like they were snakes, but this just felt right. Besides, the euphoria from seeing myself was a kick.

My nerves were ramping up as I waited for her to reply, and I left my phone on my bed to pace around my room.

Sabina was watching me, and as soon as I looked at her she tried to jump onto my t-shirt. I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics as she hopped onto my shoulder – okay, this needed to be done. Picking up my phone again, I made sure that I caught the squirrel in the shot.

I giggled as I sent that one, too.

Me: Meet Sabina