First Song

I slipped my phone back onto my desk and sighed, stretching out my arms until they clicked. I still wasn’t sure what to make of her – the mysterious woman. She’d seemed a bit aggressive at first, but I could definitely get behind the idea of someone rescuing little girls from that kind of fate. 

She was actually making me feel like I was wasting my time, stuck at home, doing nothing at all. While I was getting dressed in pretty clothes, she was out there being some kind of badass superhero. 

‘You are still recovering from the changes to your physical form, Erin. Do not hold that against yourself,’ Muse said. ‘Remember, I need you to be complete, too.’ 

Frustration beginning to rise up in me, I turned on my computer and dove into a frantic search for any information I could find on the ‘unexploded bomb’ site. This was where Muse had told me she had left a part of herself. 

Even a cursory inspection of the search results I was getting hinted to me that this was some kind of government-led cover up. Everywhere held the same information, from the same unnamed sources. Did they realise already that it was an extraterrestrial landing site? 

‘My method of arrival was not subtle, so it is safe to assume that they know.’ 

Just great. I’d actually be worried of them trying to find Muse if I thought that the government could find its own arse first.  

“So, do we think that they know that aliens are a thing?” I asked, still looking for more details on the field where she had landed. 

‘I think that they would have to be especially incompetent not to, yes.’ 

Right, so that’s a solid maybe. 

There were quite a few more accounts of how the site had been blocked off for several days, while official sources cited the unexploded bomb story. 

Newer reports were saying that the site had now been made safe, and the army was gone. 

One person’s blog showed an aerial photograph of the area from above, taken by drone. There were clear signs of tyre and track marks – the field looked like it had been churned to mud by so many vehicles. An empty crater in relief was just about visible – nestled underneath a giant oak tree. 

‘They have taken my vessel,’ Muse commented while I looked over the picture.  

Oh crap. 

“Are we going to have to find where they took it?” I asked, frustration rising up inside me. Army bases and secret research black sites were not something I had much hope of breaking into. 

‘No, it is not required for our task.’ 

Oh, okay? 

--- 

I took a nap on my bed some time before dinner, not bothering to undress first. I felt completely exhausted. Sarah had to wake me up – I'd slept through a couple of knocks on my door before she’d allowed herself in. 

Feeling like death warmed up, I managed to drag myself downstairs to the dining table. Mum complimented me on how I looked, despite my blouse and skirt being a bit rumpled, which earned her a smile from me. 

I was questioned about what had happened at the doctor’s, so I relayed everything to them. It didn’t feel like there was really any reason to hide any of it from them anymore. They’d been so supportive the whole time that it never even entered my mind that they would cause trouble – and they didn’t. 

“We’re just happy that you’re happy, darling,” Mum said, giving me a warm smile. Dad tried, too, though I could tell that it was making him uncomfortable to show so much emotion. 

“You really do seem to be much more cheerful,” Sarah contributed. “You do need to get your hair cut, though.” 

Mum looked between Sarah and I, then nodded, “I think it’s funny how you’ve dyed your hair like that. Is it some new fashion?” 

We exchanged sisterly sidelong glances, and she sighed. This was her mess, now she has to fix it. 

“No, we were just experimenting with something is all,” she answered, giving me a forced smile. 

Mum looked at my hair and wrinkled her nose, “I’m guessing it didn’t work?” 

I snorted a laugh. 

After dinner, I laid back down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. This time I had changed into one of my oversized t-shirt nighties first, and got myself ready for bed. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t wake up until the next day. I was just so tired. 

--- 

- Wednesday -

When I woke up in the morning, my whole body ached. This was getting old very fast. I groaned and grumbled, pulling myself out of bed for my morning ritual of a shower and breakfast. Sarah had left me some clothes outside my room again, which always made me smile. This time it was another dress, full-length with some open-toed flip flop style shoes.  

I think my sister was enjoying dressing me up. 

The house was empty – it shouldn’t actually be that much longer before Sarah gets to finish school for the summer. Until then, every weekday was going to be me on my lonesome. 

Since I had no real plans for the day, I tried to spend some of the time playing games. 

I launched one of my favourites and tried to get back into it. After a few missions I realised that it just wasn’t working and gave up. My hands and fingers were also struggling with the controls. All the keys felt so much farther apart than I remembered them being. 

Muse’s warnings about saving the planet, plus the mysterious woman’s kick ass superhero stuff was making me feel like I was letting the team down. Which team? I had no idea. I didn’t even know who was on my team. I still felt like I was letting them down, though. 

It wasn’t Muse’s fault, either. She was right that I shouldn’t be going around looking for trouble in the state that I was in. The fault was mine, because I’d needed to waste so much time changing my body in the first place. 

Dejected, I flopped back down on my bed and grabbed my phone from my bedside table. What’s even happening in the world these days? 

I began scrolling through the headlines of the day, ignoring most of them. There had been some noise about the young girls being rescued in Germany, though. That was pretty cool. I inspected the article for any mention of the mysterious woman but found nothing. The local police were taking all credit for the rescue. 

My phone went back on my bedside table and I sighed. 

“Muse?” I asked the air. 

‘Yes, Erin?

’ 

“Why did you leave some of yourself behind, at the landing site?” I pressed. 

There was a momentary pause before she answered, ‘Because I couldn’t fit inside the host I was using.’ 

“What host were you using?” 

‘An acorn,’ she answered, and I could hear the smile in her voice. 

An acorn? Why in the world would she have been inside an acorn? Then I remembered the squirrel – and laughed. 

‘Yes, that is how I was able to transfer myself, ultimately, to you,’ she confirmed. 

I thought back to that day that felt like a lifetime ago, but which had actually only been more like a week and a half. The shock when I touched the poor thing must have scared it senseless. It had made my arm numb for hours, so I dreaded to think what kind of a headache it must have had. 

“Why did you choose me?” I asked. 

‘Why did you choose me, Erin?’ she countered. 

What do you mean? I just saw a glowing squirrel and reached out to touch it. 

‘And when you touched it, you announced in your mind that you chose me,’ she said. 

Had I? What? Oh shit! I had. 

She giggled in my head at my sudden realisation. 

‘Still, if you hadn’t been a good fit for me, I would have left you at the first opportunity,’ she added. 

I felt a shiver of dread run up my spine, imagining a world where I hadn’t been given the opportunity to become Erin. 

“Then I guess I’m really lucky that we’re a good match,” I replied. 

‘That’s true for both of us, I think.’ 

I lay there for a little bit longer, thoughts swirling in my head. Then another question arose from the maelstrom of thought. She almost certainly knew what I was going to ask before I even said it, but I voiced it anyway. 

“Would you have left if I’d asked you to, back at the start?” 

Again, there was another pause before she answered me. I’d begun to suspect that this meant that she was really thinking hard about the question. 

‘Yes. It would have been difficult, emotionally, but I would have done so if you truly wanted me gone.’ 

--- 

My name-change documents arrived in the post later in the day. I was super excited when I saw the package plop through the letter box, addressed to Miss Erin Reid. 

I’d opened it immediately, and I couldn’t help but keep looking over the document it contained. It already announced both my deadname and my real name, plus it displayed a declaration that I would be known as Erin henceforth, et cetera. It was all very wordy. Now I just needed someone to witness me signing it. 

The only person I could think of that fit the criteria right now was Rish. It was either him, or I try to convince yet more people that I am who I say I am. After yesterday, I was so done with that noise. 

I put the papers back into the envelope and tucked them away in a safe place in my room. I hope that I can get him to come over this weekend. 

Most of the rest of the day was spent tired and glum. Muse tried to keep me company, but I just wasn’t feeling overly sociable. She seemed to understand and left me to my own thoughts, venturing off to that place she goes. 

Ever since I’d seen the second video – the one of the mysterious woman rescuing the little girls – my mind kept returning to her. 

Was there a way that I could get in contact? Can I catch her attention somehow? Maybe I could create a video or something, and post it in the hopes that maybe she’d see it and get in contact with me. 

No, that was dumb. 

Or was it? 

Sprawled out on my bed, I considered my idea for a few more moments. Would it work? 

‘It could. It is risky, but it might work,’ Muse finally said, breaking several hours of muteness. 

Oh, there she was. 

I reached for my phone and flipped the camera to point towards my face. Goddess, I still loved how I looked. Narcissism was something new for me, so I gave myself a break. 

Slowly, I moved the device closer to one of my eyes and allowed the lens to focus. 

“Alright, turn on the lights please, Muse.” 

I took several pictures as my eye on the screen began to glow. Some of the takes were a little blurry from where my hand was shaking, but I did manage to get one reasonably clear and sharp image. It looked like some eighteen-year old’s art coursework, or an eighties album cover. 

Next, I emailed the image to myself and opened it on my PC. I did some really

basic cropping and resizing to get the image roughly correct – then I added some text. 

Beneath a zoomed-in image of my glowing eye, in bright white letters, it simply read: A Being That Inspires Positive Growth. 

‘I’m somewhat ashamed that this is about me,’ Muse commented, grumpily. 

It was absolutely terrible as far as production value went. I’d essentially made it in Paint. Even the aforementioned eighteen-year old would be completely horrified at the abomination. 

I sent it to Rishaan. I figured that, since he was doing Computer Science, that he might have some idea how to stop people from tracing that image back to him – or me. 

Me: Hey, Rish can you post this in places?

Me: We want to see what bites we get

Me: Don't let it come back to you tho

When he eventually responded to me, he was confused, had no idea what it meant and asked if this was a joke. I told him that if he wanted to know, then he needed to speak with Muse. I asked him to post it anyway. He did. 

About an hour after that small interaction he texted me back, and said that he’d be able to come over on Saturday. I fist pumped the air.  

He so definitely wanted to speak to Muse. 

Me: Will you be driving?Rish: Can do

Me: Pls

This time I couldn’t help but squeal in excitement. I could persuade him to come with me to the place where Muse landed! Oh, it was all starting to fit together perfectly. 

--- 

Humming a tuneless song, I left my room and half-skipped down the corridor to tell Sarah about the plan that was taking shape. My fingers were just about to tap on the wood of her bedroom door, when I heard something that made me pause. 

It sounded like quiet sniffling coming from the other side. 

“Rah?” I asked, my voice soft and concerned. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but feel happy that I could even pull that off now. My fingers barely brushed against the wood of the door as I knocked, but I could tell that she’d heard me. 

“Erin? You can come in,” she said, amidst more sniffling. 

Oh no, she’d been crying! 

Slowly, I pushed open the door and entered her room. She was curled up on her bed, a few tissues crumbled up next to her. 

I gave her a sad smile, and closed the door behind me. She started to blow her nose on one of the tissues, sitting up a little.  

With a few quick steps, I’d joined her on the bed and was wrapping her up in comforting hugs. It didn’t matter what had happened, she was in pain and I needed to help. She sat in my embrace for a few minutes, her sniffling slowly subsiding. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her, my voice barely above a whisper. 

She broke into a smile and leaned against my shoulder, “My girlfriend broke up with me.” 

I hadn’t actually known that she’d had a girlfriend, but I could still imagine that was a pretty hard thing to take. I squeezed her a little. 

“Then she’s dumb,” I replied. 

“Her parents found out about us, and then she wouldn’t talk to me,” Sarah continued on, her breath getting tangled up in her words. “Then today she told me that she couldn’t do it anymore.” 

I ground my teeth together in frustration.  

We’d been lucky that, ultimately, our parents had been incredibly accepting. Unfortunately, there were some young people that just didn’t have that. It broke hearts and wrecked lives, but they still held on to the idea that they could force their children to be something they weren’t. 

“Wanna go travelling over the Summer?” I asked her now, my voice quiet. I was trying to take her mind off the pain she was feeling. 

She wiped at her eyes and tried to look at my face. “What do you mean? Where?” she enquired, eventually. 

I smiled at her mischievously, then told her about the mysterious woman, and how she was starting to make a name for herself online. I launched into the story of the first video, and how she’d turned the assault into serious revenge. 

“You know, those men kinda deserved to get hurt. Assholes like that are why we can’t go out at night,” she growled, her fists clenching. Oh. My. Goddess. We both do that when we’re angry! 

“But how did she fight them off? Is she, like, super skilled with karate or something?” she wondered, and I could see the dreamy look that entered her eyes. 

It dawned on me that I had never even told her about the... space magic. She had no idea of the things I’d been doing accidentally, nor the badass superhero powers of the mysterious woman. No wonder she was confused. 

“Do you want to see something pretty cool?” I asked her, beginning to break into a smile of eager anticipation. 

“Uh, yes. Definitely,” she replied, her eyebrows lifting. 

I dashed back to collect my phone, then returned as quickly as I could. She’d disposed of the tissues by the time I returned. 

Swiping through my favourites, I found the first video and set it playing for her. 

Her eyes went wide the moment the men began to fall to the ground, and then she looked at me. “Holy shit. Okay. What is that?” 

“I mean, I just call it space magic, but I’m sure someone else will come up with a much cooler name,” I replied, mumbling.  

She laughed and reached up to ruffle my hair, playfully, “Nerd.” 

Rolling my eyes, I began to find her the next video. She was still staring at me, though, so I glanced in her direction. 

“So, can you do that? With the lights and stuff?” she whispered; her eyes wide. 

I shrugged, “Not yet, really. But soon.” 

She silently mouthed an obscenity while I went back to seeking out the next video. Once I’d found it, she watched that one with a whole mix of emotions. I couldn’t exactly tell what she was thinking when she looked at me, but she nodded. 

“So, I plan on finding her,” I said. 

“I’m in.”