NOVEL NEXT Chapter 228: Complicated Feelings
Xavier leaned back against the headboard, one arm folded while the other rested lazily across his lap, eyes locked on her like a predator that already had its prey cornered. The smirk returned, sharper this time.
"So let me get this straight," he said slowly, savoring each word. "You wanted me to fuck you… but you didn't want to take responsibility for wanting it. So you put on your little drunk act, thinking I'd do all the dirty work, and then you'd get to blame it on the booze. That about right?"
Angel's face burned crimson, her lips parting as if to protest, but no words came out.
Xavier chuckled low, shaking his head. "That's cute, Angel. Real cute. But you should know by now that I don't do pity moves. If I fuck someone, it's because they asked for it, and because they know what they want. Not because they're playing pretend."
Her fists tightened in the sheets, shame and stubbornness colliding in her eyes. "…I don't know what I want." The words slipped out before she could stop them.
Xavier's smirk softened, just barely, into something more serious. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, voice steady but cutting. "That's your problem. You're lost. You don't know if you want me, or if you just want attention. You don't know if you want to be touched, or if you just don't want to feel ignored. And until you figure that out, you'll keep running in circles, playing games like last night."
Angel swallowed hard, her chest rising and falling faster.
Xavier's gaze hardened, but there was a flicker of patience beneath it. "So stop hiding behind excuses. Stop throwing yourself into my plans just so I'll notice you. If you want something—really want it—say it. Own it. Otherwise…" he leaned back again, dismissive in tone, "don't waste my time with half-assed acts."
Angel sat frozen, breathing heavy, her mind scrambling for a response that wouldn't sound weak. But deep down, she knew he was right.
Angel sat there, her chest tight and throat heavy, not trusting herself to answer him right away. Her gaze dropped to the floor, then further inward, shutting him out. Silence stretched until her breath hitched, small and uneven, like she was trying not to let it all out at once. Then, a quiet sob slipped through, breaking the barrier she tried so hard to hold.
Xavier leaned back slightly, studying her, the edge in his voice softening. "You must have a pretty bad impression of me," he said, calm but steady. "Like I'm some playboy who just fucks every girl I see."
She flinched a little at his bluntness but didn't stop him. But she was clearly thinking, 'Yeah, totally.'
"I'm not like that," Xavier went on. "I've got a condition. Every twenty-four hours, I need to… relieve myself. If I don't, it messes me up. That's just the reality I deal with."
Angel wiped at her face, still silent, forcing him to keep talking.
"I've only ever wantingly fucked two girls," Xavier continued. "Seraphina… and Reva. With Seraphina, it's not just about sex. We've got a mutual relationship. She's kind, caring. Feels more like an older sister, honestly. I never go to her just to fuck her. I only go when she invites me, because I don't want what we have to turn into some kind of cheap transaction."
He paused a moment, letting that sink in, before shifting. "And then there's Reva. With her, it's balanced too. She gets my blood, I get what I need. If we weren't compatible, I would've ended it a long time ago. But we are, so it works."
Angel's eyes flicked up at him briefly, searching his face for something real.
"Obviously," Xavier admitted, "I like both of them. That's why I fuck them. But that doesn't mean I look at every other girl around me and think they're unattractive. That's not how it works."
He let the air settle, then dropped the part that made her stomach knot. "If I'm being honest, the girl I want to fuck the most is Lyra. But I won't make a move on her unless she gives me a sign. Lyra sees me as… somewhat of a master. If I asked, she'd probably agree. But I don't want it to happen like that. I don't want her to just… submit."
Angel's lips trembled before she forced herself to ask, "And… what about Lilia?"
Xavier tilted his head, almost confused. "She's my cousin. What about her?"
Angel blinked, stunned by how flatly he'd dismissed it. For a second, she almost felt relief as if a weight she didn't even know she was holding had slipped off her shoulders. But then, as her mind turned, the relief twisted into something else.
Angel's eyes dropped to the sheets between them, her chest tight. A part of her was still smarting from Xavier's blunt honesty earlier, the way he'd listed Seraphina, Reva, Lyra… and somehow skipped right past her, as if she wasn't even on the table. It stung, made her feel like she wasn't worth wanting.
But then came his dismissive "what about her" when Lilia's name was mentioned. Just like that. Cousin. Seemingly, nothing more.
Angel's heart twisted. She could see it plain as day. Lilia's feelings… the way she looked at Xavier. And yet, here he was, not even sparing her that recognition. A hollow sadness washed over her. If she thought she had it bad, being overlooked, then Lilia… Lilia had it worse. Loving someone who wouldn't even entertain the thought of her—that had to hurt far deeper than Angel's bruised pride ever could.
Her voice came out softer than she meant, tinged with pity. "Guess she's got it worse than me, huh…" She tried to smile, but it faltered, her eyes giving away the heaviness behind the words.
Angel sat there, clutching the edge of the sheets, her voice low but steady. "You mentioned Seraphina, Reva, Lyra… even Lilia. But what about me, Xavier? What do you think of me?"