First Immortal of the Sword

“Would it kill you not to brag? You even called the Eternal Night Immortal Sovereign directly by name! Aren’t you afraid of divine punishment?”

“Divine punishment? Haha! I’ve faced more divine punishment than I can count, but look at me! I’m still alive and well, aren’t I? You! You have eyes, but you’re truly blind. You have no idea how powerful of an existence I am!”

…The quarreling voices started and stopped. From a distance, the sound was all but imperceptible.

But Su Yi heard it all clearly. His eyes flashed, and a smile tugged at his lips.

A moment later, he disappeared into thin air.

Heaven and earth were boundlessly vast, and fierce gales howled across the plains.

An old man walked against the wind with great difficulty.

He was bony, covered in dirt, and disheveled. Everything about him looked slovenly, down to his filthy, tattered Daoist robes.

A multicolored spirit bird perched on his shoulder. It looked like a falcon, but it was unusually thin, and strangely, it had three eyes. Its central, vertical eye was just barely cracked open.

“Dammit! How could I have been so unlucky? How could I let you drag me to this blasted place, you blasted old codger?” The spirit bird cursed. “Why did you insist on coming here?”

The disheveled old-timer sighed. “The Age of Fallen Immortals transformed the entire Immortal Realm. Even Mount Taiwu vanished into thin air. I suspect… that gods were behind the cataclysm, as well as Mount Taiwu’s disappearance.”

He then reached up to pet the bird. “That’s why I brought you here to have a look, you dirty feathered beast.”

“Fuck! The gods are involved? What’d you drag me into this for? Don’t you know there’s nothing that scares me more than getting mixed up with deities? If you want to go, go by yourself. I won’t be accompanying you!”

The spirit bird beat its wings in obvious fury and tried to fly away, only for the disheveled old beggar to seize it by the throat.

“You’re a Great Peng born with a Zhuyou Torch Eye. There’s no one else like you in the Immortal Realm. If I want to uncover the secrets of Mount Taiwu’s appearance, who else can I ask?” The disheveled old man held the bird fast as he smiled broadly, his eyes narrowing into slits. “Do me this favor, and I’ll arrange for a unique, grand stroke of fortune just for you. How about it?”

The bird couldn’t break free. It was so angry that its vertical eye almost opened.

The old man said hatefully, “If you dare open that eye at me, I promise you I’ll scoop it out and feed it to stray dogs!”

The bird instantly wilted. “When the grandmaster gets out of seclusion, we’ll come find you to settle the score, you old scoundrel!”

“All of that’s in the future,” the old man said with a grin. “Now, you’d best be good and behave yourself. Or else…”

The old man gulped, and drool dribbled from his mouth. “I wouldn’t mind taking this opportunity to roast and eat your wings.”

“....” The spirit bird dared not argue.

But then, a voice tinged with laughter rang out. “Count me in.”

The disheveled old man reacted as if he’d been struck by lightning. He whipped around and tried to flee, only for a large, fair hand to seize him by the shoulder.

This was none other than Su Yi. He looked at the old man and laughed. “If you try to run, I’ll break your legs!”

The old man scrunched up his face, but he dared not try anything.

The spirit bird said in a strange voice, “Oh? Who’s the little baby? He’s got quite the mouth on him. If I were you, I’d have smacked him to death already, you old scoundrel!”

Whap!

The old man squeezed the bird’s neck and smacked it on the skull. “Behave! If he wants to roast and eat your wings, I won’t be able to stop him!”

The bird was stunned. It opened its beak to say something, only for the old man to stuff it into his sleeves.

“What a coincidence, Fellow Daoist! I would never have guessed I’d bump into you here,” laughed the disheveled old man.

This was none other than the Divine Fortune Teller Su Yi had encountered in the Black Dragon Market.

He was the one who’d told the Red Dragon Dao Monarch’s fortune: “When you see a dragon in the fields, the time is right to meet with a great man!”

Su Yi laughed. “I don’t think this is a coincidence at all. After our last meeting, you took the Zhuyou Great Peng and came here of all places, and you yourself said you’re after the secrets of Mount Taiwu’s disappearance. Who’d believe that this is just a coincidence?”

The disheveled old fortune teller smiled awkwardly. He was just about to say something when Su Yi said directly, “Cut the crap and tell me why you’re here. I want the truth.”

The disheveled old fortune teller scratched his head and grimaced. “I just wanted to see whether anything would change after you returned to the Immortal Realm. For instance, I was curious to see if the long-vanished Mount Taiwu would return.”

“Oh?” said Su Yi. “And why would you suspect such a thing?”

“Err….” The old man’s expression shifted erratically.

Beneath the weight of Su Yi’s deep, profound gaze at such close quarters, the old man eventually gave in. He gestured at the sky, his mouth opening and closing as a soft, almost indiscernible whisper escaped his lips.

“The gods cannot descend into this world, but they already know of your return, and back in the day, Mount Taiwu was your home base. It disappeared inexplicably during the Age of Fallen Immortals. I suspect theywere behind it, and that they’re using it as bait to draw you here upon your return!

“After all, anyone with a working brain would be able to guess that you’d investigate your old home base’s disappearance after your return!” Here, the old man paused and looked around furtively, as if afraid he’d revealed some divine mystery and that the heavens were about to punish him.

But in the end, nothing unexpected happened, and the old man sighed in relief.

Su YI’s eyes silently narrowed, and his heart was solemn. When he thought about it, that really did seem quite likely!

“Ol’ scoundrel, in the past, when you ran into something this dangerous, you feared nothing more than failing to run away in time. Why are you suddenly so interested in this?” Su Yi asked with great interest. “You even went so far as to steal the Divine Fulcrum Pure Lands’ Zhuyou Great Peng! If I’m not mistaken, that feathered beast is their true spirit guardian. It’s been cultivating alongside their old baldy since before the Age of Fallen Immortals.”

“‘Steal?’” The disheveled old fortune teller’s ears reddened. “I’m just borrowing it! When I’m done with it, I’ll bring it back! Besides, the old baldy’s gone into seclusion who-knows-where to avoid catastrophe. How could he possibly have the spare energy to worry about a damn bird?”

The “old baldy” the two of them spoke of was an ancestor of the Divine Fulcrum Pure Lands, an expert who’d reached the pinnacle of the Immortal Dao prior to the Age of Fallen Immortals. His Daoist title was “Feng Tu”, or “Phoenix Diagram.” The world knew him as Immortal Sovereign Feng Tu.

Su Y snickered. “Don’t try to change the subject. Answer my question. Why do you care about this?”

The disheveled old fortune teller sighed. “I swear by the heavens themselves that it isn’t as complicated as you think. I was just curious to see if anything would change after you returned, and I thought that if anything did change, it would likely start with Mount Taiwu. I just wanted to test my hypothesis.”

Su Yi instantly picked up a hint of something else entirely. “You think my return will trigger massive changes in the Immortal Realm?”

The corners of the old man’s lips twitched. He covered his face and grumbled, “I just knew this would happen! Loose lips lead to disaster! It’s as you think. I suspect that as this new golden age develops… the gods will cleave open a path to the Immortal Realm! And you might well be their target! Your return has effectively flung a massive boulder into the ‘lake’ that is the Immortal Realm. It’s sure to cause enormous ripples!

“The populace might not notice them, but… Well, they say ducks are first to know when a new spring warms the water. Similarly, the Church of the Pure One, the Church of Supreme Oneness, and the other factions with divine backers are sure to be the first to know if the situation in the Immortal Realm changes!

“That’s how the Church of the Pure One managed to seize control over White Deer Mountain’s Ascension Ground, and how Cloud Apparatus Immortal Manor managed to locate you so quickly!”

The old man stared intently at Su Yi. “I even suspect that countless people throughout the Immortal Realm are working together to weave a massive net in secret. They’re just waiting for their big fish—you—to throw itself into their clutches!”

Su Yi’s brow furrowed as he recalled what he’d experienced upon entering the Immortal Realm, as well as what had happened today. There was no denying it; the old fortune teller had accurately analyzed the situation!

The Church of the Pure One, Cloud Apparatus Immortal Manor, and other such factions knew he’d enter the Immortal Realm well before it happened, and they started making arrangements well in advance.

That was why so many of their experts had appeared at White Deer Mountain’s Ascension Ground!

“And what about you? You know that the gods are involved in this, so why get mixed up in it?” said Su Yi. “Surely you aren’t really ‘just curious’ about what effects my return will have on the Immortal realm?”

The disheveled old fortune-teller pounded his chest. “Don’t think I’m afraid to die! I’ve faced countless tribulations over the years and provoked endless trouble. I’ve lived as pathetically as a dog, always running and hiding, but when have I ever lowered my head?”

Su Yi nodded. “True enough.”

The old scoundrel’s unique and unrivaled mastery of the art of divination meant he’d provoked endless calamities over the years!

Yet here he was, alive and well. It really was a miracle.

“Come one. I’ll just have to see what leads you can detect with the Zhuyou Great Peng’s help,” Su Yi said with a laugh.

The disheveled old man said irritably, “I just knew it! All that nonsense, but really, you just want to take advantage of me!”

“Fine!” The old man took a big step further into the barren plains. “Come with me.”

Su Yi followed the old man for an hour before he abruptly stopped in his tracks, took out a filthy copper coin, and flicked it.

Clang!

A clear noise rang out. The coin repeatedly flipped in midair until finally, it landed in the disheveled old fortune teller’s palm. Suddenly, the strange and inscrutable power of the Grand Dao rippled on its surface.

The disheveled old man’s spirits soared. He laughed, “If there are truly secrets behind Mount Taiwu’s disappearance, they’re definitely hidden nearby!”

He slipped that multi-colored spirit bird from his sleeves and commanded, “Come on, show your Grandpa Su and me what you’ve got!”

The bird instantly launched into a series of curses. “Screw you! Do you really think I’m some kind of fucking street performer? Do you want me to break rocks on my chest or something?"

Its spit splattered the old man’s face.

But then, the disheveled old fortune teller smacked it upside the head, and it instantly piped down.

Su Yi rubbed his forehead. The Zhuyou Great Peng and the old baldy of the Divine Fulcrum Pure Lands are two peas in a pod! They’re nothing but foul-mouthed hooligans!

The damn bird is in dire need of a beating, but the old fortune teller’s no goody-two-shoes either. Otherwise, he could never have subdued this dirty hoodlum of a bird!

Seth's Thoughts

For those interested:

"Feathered beast" is actually a... bird-specific slur, 扁毛畜生. It's seriously listed in my dictionary as Bird (derogatory.) It comes from the Journey to the West. Not sure how often this comes up in real life (...probably almost never), but it actually comes up fairly regularly in this novel.

_

The thing about breaking boulders on the chest might seem a bit weird, but that's what it says!! Picture something like this.

__

Also, note that the guy who owns/raises the bird is bald, but not specifically a "bald donkey." There's no indication that he's Buddhist, and the text specifically says "Daoist name" not "Buddhist name." They're different words in Chinese.