Ferdie and the Elementals

After a long, annoying trip back up from the bottom of Zazel's lair, we finally pop up out of the giant hatch and step out into the trash-ridden courtyard. It's dark, but glows with a dull light blue color. My head shoots up and I get an eyeful of Astraea's big, full, and beautiful new moon.

Astraea's very first night. Amazing.

For a few seconds everyone collects out side the entrance and stares up and the huge blue moon and the sparkling stars. They float like beacons in a dark blue sea with wide, massive streaks of orange, red, yellow, and green cosmic dust.

I keep looking up at the moon and stars and I get lost in their glow.

Althea touches me on the shoulder. "Hero, we need to get moving. We've lingered here long enough."

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. Lost myself for a moment."

"So there's a moon now!?" Zazel catches up, a few Spawn sloshing behind her.

"It's huge. And the sky is really, really clear."

Althea looks up again. "I admit it is a beautiful sight, but it also makes me uneasy."

"Well, I think it's grand!" Zazel cheers. "It makes me think dastardly thoughts!"

"You guys don't know how lucky you are. On my world, it's pretty much impossible to get a view like this."

Althea cocks her head slightly. "Why is that, Hero?"

"My world is covered by smog. The sun is always a dull orange color and you can barely make out the moon at night."

"I see. That sounds disturbing and filthy."

"But here, you can actually see the night sky without anything in the way. It's incredible."

Althea looks back up. "First a sun, and now a moon..."

I look up too. "Yeah. My parents told me about how the sky on Earth used to look a long time ago, but I never really understood what I was missing out on until I came here."

My whole body tenses up as I clench my fists. State fuckers even took the sky from me.

We march through the Asterian night, but I barely notice the clanking of the Knights, the goopy sloshing of the Spawn, and the sporadic bickering of Zazel and Althea as I lose myself in my thoughts.

I can't help but think about life on Earth. I think about my childhood on the farm, the 'orphanage', my hard teenage years alone in the city, Kris, the State, and the Limp Dicks. I know there is no way to find out anything now that I am on Astraea, and I feel a hole in my heart that is slowly being filled by rage, like molten lava dripping into a crevasse.

Suddenly, the world around me comes back into focus.

"Make haste, brisket!" Zazel shouts, hands on her hips.

Zazel, Althea, and the Thralls are staring back at me from some yards away.

I shake my head and catch up.

Althea meets me part way, her eyebrows furrowed on her otherwise stoic face. "Something troubles you, Hero?"

I take a deep breath and shake my head. "It's nothing. It's all ancient history now."

"Aw, poor, unfortunate soul!" Zazel's voice is thick with sarcasm. "Does God's favorite pet feel sad? Did you not get enough treats from your master?"

"You aren't helping, Chaos." Althea's voice is like ice.

"I wasn't trying to, fool."

"That is the very issue, is it not?"

I try to block them out as I push down the rage simmering in my chest. Then I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Althea, apparently sensing my turmoil turns away from Zazel, who is staring down Althea like she just took a shit on her rug.

"Hero, please tell me what is wrong."

I shake my head. "I was just thinking about my life on Earth. But there's nothing I can do about it now that I'm here so I just need to learn to move on."

"I see," Althea nods, "you may not be able to do anything about Earth, but perhaps you might benefit from telling us about your troubles."

Zazel raises an eyebrow. "Are you truly feeling broody, egg? There's little use keeping it inside like that, so out with it! It will prove cathartic for you and entertaining for me! Besides, I deserve to know at least something about the creature I'm about to risk my life for."

The burning comes back a little. "I don't owe you nothin', and I don't really wanna get into it anyway. The past has passed, ain't nothin' to be done about it. All you need to know is that these Limp Dick cultists have earned every goddamed beating that's coming their way."

I walk ahead of the group, passing some Knights and a couple of Spawn as I take point. Soon enough, everyone follows suit, Zazel and Althea joining me at my side as we march through the growing Astraean plains.

Even in the dark, it's pretty clear that Astraea grew and evolved some more after Zazel's Release. There are a lot more trees, and they're taller and thicker to boot. I can hear the occasional bug or animal making noises, and I even spot two or three pointy, colorful glowing rocks in the distance.

Crystals. Gotta get to work on those soon.

"You," Zazel dips into her cleavage with her pointy fingers, whips out a big colorful bag and holds it out to me, "have a snack." Zazel says. "Perhaps you'll be less of a bore with some food in your stomach. That's how you humans are, correct? You get irritable when you're hungry?"

"I'm not pissed because I'm hungry. I ain't some dumb little kid."

I snatch away the bag and tear it open, causing some of the stuff inside to fall out. I'm hit with a whiff of something sweet and spicy. I prod the contents and feel a bunch of small, flaky things inside. "Are these... Chips?"

"Just eat! If it's good enough for me, it's definitely good enough for the likes of you."

I lift my shades and examine the multicolored packaging. Even in the dull moonlight, it has a psychedelic shimmer.

"They're not gonna make me trip, are they?"

"Don't be foolish."

I shrug, pinch a few, and crunch down. The taste is an wild combination of salty, sour, and a weird tangy flavor that is oddly delicious. I feel a sudden rush of energy as my body seems to soak up every little drop of salt and fat like a sponge.

"Whoa..."

"Amazing, are they not?"

"Yeah... You eat these all the time?"

"Not always, but often."

"They're a little like the snacks on Earth, but better. Way better."

"They have 'chips' on your world too?"

I chew and swallow. "Yeah, but they're really shitty. Kinda like salted paper," I pop in some more, "Alfeea, yoo wannah thry whun?"

"No, thank you."

"Sthood yersself."

"You're not allowed to share them with her, anyhow," Zazel snorts. "Now, if you'd prefer to keep your issues to yourself, I can accept that, but could you at least tell me something about humans, Earth, or anything? Freedom is nice, and Astraea's new features are certainly noteworthy, but I am already beginning to feel bored again."

Althea glares at Zazel. "Please do not pester the Hero. He is not here to entertain you."

"It's fine, Althea," I swallow the last mouthful of chips and toss the crumpled up bag into the shadows, "it's just that there's not much to tell. Earth sucks, and that goes double now that the Limp Dicks are running the show."

Fire licks my insides again.

"So, even before it was taken over by the enemy, your world had issues?" Zazel asks.

"To say the fucking least, yeah. The whole planet was overpopulated, covered in smog, and violent as all hell. The State ran the whole shitshow; they controlled everything and fucked up anyone who tried to get in their way. But they didn't mind if we killed each other because there were too many people and a murder just meant one less complainer or asshole to deal with."

Zazel raises an eyebrow, "Interesting. And the 'State' was like Order, correct? A controlling, oppressive entity?"

Althea shoots her a glance, but stays quiet.

"Knock it off. Althea is nothing like those fuckers. But I guess they're probably gone now. That or maybe they joined the Limp Dicks to save their own shitty hides," I feel myself getting hot again. "Anyway, they made life hell for everyone. It was just rule after rule after rule and regulations added on top of regulations. Can't say this, can't do that, can't go there, can't eat that."

Zazel huffs. "Disgusting."

"And even if you did everything right, they'd still fuck with you. They'd just make up some bullshit law and arrest you or make you disappear. No questions, no court, no chance. One wrong word or one bad look and they'd send some jackboots to come and put a bullet in your brain or drag you away to social rehab to get it scrambled."

Althea turns her head slightly. "That sounds distressing."

"Yeah. I once heard from a friend that the 'Public Safety Officers' had quotas to meet, so they sometimes they'd bag dudes just to keep their own asses out of the hot seat."

"So, these 'officers' had to arrest someone or else they were punished for not arresting enough people?" Zazel asks.

"Basically."

"Sounds like the perfect recipe for corruption, if my understanding of humans is correct."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. People were disappearing and coming back changed all the time. You couldn't trust anyone because almost everyone was either a gangster, a snitch, or just plain fucking crazy. And it was all made worse by the fucking robots."

It's starting feel hot. Very fucking hot.

"Yes, you mentioned the robots," Althea glances at me, "but what are they, exactly?"

"Well, a robot is basically an artificial person. They don't have much personality, but they can talk, move around, and work."

"So they are essentially Thralls?"

"Yeah. Well, no. Thralls, I guess, are made with magic, but bots are built in factories with metal, plastic, and other shit and have computers for brains."

"Wait, does Earth not have magic?" Zazel asks. "How are the Liberation people coming to Astraea without magic?"

"No, magic ain't a thing on our world, but God told me the Limp Dicks somehow figured out how to use it even though its supposed to be impossible."

"Unbelievable. So even without magic, humans can make an autonomous mechanical constructs?"

I shrug. "I dunno. They just take a bunch of metal parts and wires and computers and fuel cells and connect 'em all together and it just works."

"Bizarre," Zazel remarks "yet impressive all the same. Though the implications of a mundane world's people getting access to magic is... Disturbingly delicious."

"Yeah, well, fuck magic and fuck the robots... Though, I heard that back in the day, some people actually liked the robots at first because they were built to do work that was too dangerous or difficult for normal people to do like defusing bombs or unclogging blocked sewer pipes."

"But that sounds like a quite a positive development for your people," Althea says, "how did such a thing go so terribly wrong?"

"Well, about ten years ago, a group of eggheads figured out a way to make robots with a brain that was like a human's, but, way, way smarter. And another group of dudes invented some new materials that made them strong and let them do difficult stuff with their hands, like type, juggle, and even surgeries. Basically, this new shit let bots be just like humans, but better."

Zazel squints. "I think I'm beginning to see where this is going..."

"From what I heard, everyone kinda thought that bots would just do all the hard work and we humans would be able to kick back and make art and music and shit while they served as our butlers. But, then the new smart ones started started taking high IQ jobs from the top of the stack while others kept the easy jobs from the bottom up. Sonsofbitches ate up almost all the jobs in a couple of years."

Althea frowns. "I apologize for interrupting, but I am not sure I understand something: by 'job' do you mean compensated labor?"

"Of course, you dolt," Zazel takes the liberty of speaking or me. "Clearly, humans exchange labor for... Money, I think?"

I adjust my shades. "Yeah. And we can use that money to buy shit that we need, if we have enough of it."

"Right. Obviously, Order, humans exchange their skills and services for value in the form of money."

"I asked the Hero, not you, wretch."

"Did you hit yourself in the head with that hammer of yours? This is very basic knowledge that your precious God gave to all of us. You shouldn't have to ask him in the first place."

"Ugh, you guys, please!" The heat shoots up to my head for a moment.

The Elementals look away from each other and stay quiet.

"Anyways," I go on, " after a few years of this, people started protesting because they couldn't make money. They knew the State would fuck 'em up, but there was no other choice 'cept to starve, so they marched on the Central State Complex. Millions of them. They wanted the government to stop letting robots take human jobs. But the State and their corpo bitches basically told everyone to fuck off and die. So, the people went nuts and went batshit on the bots and the jackboots, but the State was not having that shit and tons of people got mowed down or disappeared."

More burning. It runs through me like a hot needle, but I don't let it show.

Althea shakes her head. "Hero, that sounds like a disaster."

"It was. The State really lost their shit and went on a huge fucking global purge for like a year. I was just a teenager at the time, and I didn't fuck with politics, so they didn't do anything to me. But pretty much the whole world got its ass kicked up and down the street, even though the protest only happened in Central."

My throat and stomach feel like they're slowly getting baked.

Zazel spits. "I truly despise tyrants."

"So, after that, the people who didn't get scrambled or killed just sort of went into pure survival mode. I was lucky 'cause I got a job at an old factory with a 'humans first' policy, but most people who weren't in the State government or a State corpo position got squeezed out of their jobs by bots pretty quick. A lot of kids skipped school to work fucked up illegal jobs while their parents went out to steal shit or hook. Tons just gave up and committed suicide. It was nuts."

Althea folds her hands and bows her head. "May God preserve their spirits."

Zazel snorts. "Tyranny and anarchy all at once. What a strange and terrible world."

Some memories flash in my mind, and the fire comes back. It feels like my brain is boiling in its own fluid. I flinch, squeezing my eyes shut as try to endure the agony without cracking.

"Hero?" Althea peers at me, concern on her face. "Are you alright?"

"It's nothing." I lied, even though Althea can smell lies like a dog can smell shit.

Althea frowns, but doesn't call me out. "If you begin to feel unwell, we can stop to rest."

The heat dies down a little. "Don't worry about it."

"So, yeah. Not long after than, the Liberation Society showed up. Almost all of the activists got their asses kicked hard during the purge, but the Limp Dicks kept popping up no matter how many times they got their shit kicked in. I have no clue how they managed not to get bumped off or scrambled."

Althea looks to me. Her face almost appears compassionate. "Hero, life on Earth sounds so harrowing. How did you ever overcome such a hopeless situation?"

"What do you mean?"

"Surely, you decided to take action at some point and challenge your oppressors?"

Zazel lets out a snarky little laugh. "Oh, that is rich indeed, coming from you."

"I am the Elemental of Order. I am no ally to wicked or corrupt systems of any kind."

"Oh, so you do have a sense humor! I'm quite looking forward to more of your jokes."

Althea sighs through her nose. "Please, Hero, continue. I am eager to know how you managed to reverse this situation."

"Yeah, well," I push up my shades, and try to push down another rising inferno. "I didn't."

"What? Surely, as God's chosen, you proved yourself worthy of Astraea by sacrificing yourself for- "

"Well, I didn't okay!?" It's getting harder to keep my internal blaze under control. "You wanna know what happened? Those cultist pieces of shit kicked my door down and fucking murdered me!"

Althea blinks and recoils slightly.

"Nonsense," Zazel makes a stink face, "clearly, you are still alive."

"Well, God brought me back from the dead, I guess!" I'm getting hot all over and it's really starting to hurt. My blood likes it's actually starting to boil.

Zazel snorts. "So, that's all? That's our Hero's tale? You lived on some bizarre anarchic prison world and then you were murdered by political activists? Surely there must be more to it than that."

"Shut up." I growl through my teeth. I keep getting hotter and hotter, and I start to breath deeper and harder as sweat starts to soak my face and neck. The power from my core is roasting me alive; it feels like someone is funneling molten metal into my chest.

"C'mon, egg, tell us the rest."

"Don't call me that."

"Fine, I'll make something else up. How's 'sphincter'?"

"Zazel, I swear to God, you better-"

"Better what?"

"Chaos, do not provoke the Hero further!"

"Or what, Order? Are you going to silence me? Banish me? Kill me?"

"Do not tempt me, Chaos!"

"You couldn't if you tried, and you know it!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I shout with a puff of hellish flame as I stomp a foot into the ground. The there's a rush of hot wind and the earth shakes as my voice carries and reverberates through the night.

The Elementals freeze and the Knights and Spawn become silent as they come to a sudden stop. The air goes dead quiet and no one moves even an inch. I can only hear the sound of my heavy breathing and pounding heart.

After a couple of long, awkward moments, my rage begins settle into a quiet simmer as sanity and reason starts to trickle back into my mind again.

I push up my shades. "Sorry. Took it too far."

I look around and no one says anything.

The tension and silence is thick.

Althea and Zazel are both staring at me with wide eyes, mouths hanging open a bit.

"Let's get a move on. I'd like to get back before dawn."

I turn around and slowly continue on into the Astraean night.

---

I get pretty far ahead of the Elementals and the Thralls, so I'm practically alone as I push forward under the stars. With a bit of time to myself, I am able to cool down quite bit and I'm nearly back to normal after a while. But as my anger subsides, it leaves more room in my head to think and reflect on it.

I was never the type to fly into a fit of rage. Hell, I didn't even throw tantrums when I was a kid, but now, it seems every other thing that happens gets me all fucked up.

I remember the incident with Bub and Althea and my recent outburst. The burning, the tunnel vision, and the mindlessness play back in my mind like a movie shown through a fiery blood-red filter.

I was out of control and Althea got her leg crushed because of it. If she were a normal person with no magic, she would be dead or a cripple right now. And I just lashed out and nearly hurt both Zazel and Althea for practically nothing.

Two close calls in the same day. Althea is right. She's always fucking right. I need to get this under control before I make a mistake I can't fix. First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna get a handle on this shit.