Fellow Tetrapod: speculative evolution, office politics, and cooking

Although I suppose it's delta-reading at this point.

Gentle readers, Fellow Tetrapod owes much of what it is to you already, but it is about to undergo one more revision before I publish it. I could still use some advice. How can I tighten the beginning? How can I develop the romantic sub-plot? Are there missing commas? Anything else you want to tell me? If you have time before the middle of January, I would love to hear what you think.

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Thank you, and merry Christmas,
Dan