Fantastic Dream Upon This Wonderful Existence

Tomorrow the Kingdom Arc will end…

And the mission Paradox gave to me…

Went completely off my radar…

"Look, lots of things happened, okay?"

Paradox just looked at me flatly. She took a sip of her coffee before putting the cup down. It's a matcha latte mix, a nice drink to have on a cloudy day.

"Are you pissed? You're pissed aren't you?"

"Not yet," Paradox replied calmly. "The Kingdom Arc isn't finished yet," she picked a piece of brownies from the snack tray in front of her. "You should ask Vanir for help, at this point," she muttered before plopping the brownie piece into her mouth.

I stood up and bowed at Paradox. "Forgive me, I will take my leave…"

I teleported away from the cafe straight to the front of Wiz's shop. The last time I was here I tried to kill Vanir, now I'm going to beg for his help. Goddammit, when will this humiliation end?

"Welcome Satou Kazuma!" Vanir welcomed me with a grin. "Is there anything moi can help you with? Perhaps moi will help thee if thou ask moi nicely,"

"Vanir, please help me," I muttered in defeat.

"Ahaha! Very well then, moi art compassionate and forgiving devil, please come over here Kazuma," Vanir gestured me to sit down on a small table, facing him. A crystal ball sat on the table and it didn't take a genius to figure out what this is for.

"Now, moi shall tell you the different possibilities of thy future and thou shall pick a path thou wanted. Put thy hands on the Crystal Ball,"

I put my hand on the Crystal Ball.

"There is a future where thou succeeded at thy mission and Lady Paradox shall be appeased," Vanir said much to my relief. "However there is a risk that come with it, if thou were to fail, then the incompetent store owner I locked in the store room and the Crusader waiting outside will pay the price."

Shit, Wiz's life is in trouble huh?

"What if I give up?"

Vanir was silent for a moment before answering.

"Then it shall be the end of thy greatest monetary investment, the closing of the Succubus Cafe, the end of Alcanretia's Hidden Paradise, and the conclusion of our mutual partnership."

I cringed a little at that. Already I know what that means. Sooner or later, Chris will discover about this store and all the succubus that are technically lesser devils. Without the Succubus Store, the sexual harassment crime rate will increase exponentially and…

I'm not letting her destroy the hidden paradise!

"Okay, I'm assuming this will only work if you don't tell me how to do it, right?"

"That is correct,"

I took a deep breath and leaned back. "By tomorrow…" I put both hands on my face. "This is impossible…"

"It doesn't have to be tomorrow," Vanir said suddenly. "At this very moment, Lady Paradox is pulling some strings up above in the heaven to give thee more time. Thou hath time until the bell tolls on the wedding day to complete thy mission."

"Wedding?"

"Ask thy friend whose body is perpetually brimming with pent up sexual frustration despite all your effort,"

Darkness? Seriously? Darkness's wedding? What the hell? How do I not know about this? Okay, there are too many unknowns in this scenario, I need to start getting some information. But what?

"Alright, thank you Vanir, I'll be sure to figure something out."

"Moi would wish thou luck, but the troublesome goddess might be listening. So I wish thy success and may karma will ever be in your favor."

---

Once I'm out of the store, I relayed everything Vanir said to Megumin through our mind link.

"And that's all of it, what do you think Megumin?"

"So, basically, Darkness is the key to all of this right?"

"Yes, exactly… What else is she hiding from me? Goddammit, that girl…"

"I'll go ask her later today, if it comes down to it, we'll force her to tell her the truth through our mind tricks."

During my way back home, I saw quite a peculiar sight. It is Aqua, talking with a stranger under the shade of a tree. They seem to be in the middle of a transaction or something, but I'm not sure.

I decided not to reveal myself immediately and sneaked up towards the two. Using Light refraction and hide to make myself practically undetectable.

"-cost around one hundred million Eris. It's rather cheap now, isn't it?" the stranger said while showing Aqua a mysterious item draped in black cloth.

"Hmm… But I only have twenty million Eris for my personal use. I need to ask Darkness's permission to use the party fund…"

The peddler looked a bit panicked after hearing that. "Now, now, you don't have to trouble your teammates. All the money you have right now is fine for an advance payment, we can talk about the rest later."

Aqua smiled at that. "Really? For only twenty million Eris? I get to keep it?"

"Yes, of course!"

I flicked a seed behind the peddler's feet.

The goddess was about to take out her purse when I cleared my throat, revealing myself beside them.

Aqua who saw me just waved her hand a little. "Hi Kazuma, you're just in time," she gestured at the stranger who's now paler than a sheet of paper in front of her. "This kind gentleman here offered us a Dragon Egg for only one hundred million Eris! I think it'll be great if we can get Liza chan a little brother or a little sister, don't you think?"

I turned towards the Peddler. He pulled a one eighty and was about to run, only to fell on his back when his feet refused to move. A thick vine has already bound his leg and is binding his lower body.

"Now, now, Mr. Merchant why are you in such a hurry?" I offered him my hand while giving him a nice smile. "The name's Satou Kazuma, the leader of Fantastic Dreamer," I told him.

The man looked at me like I'm the devil incarnate. "G-good afternoon Kazuma sama! I was just offering Aqua sama a mysterious egg I saw during one of my travel. Did I say one hundred million? I meant one hundred! Just one hundred Eris!"

"Really!?" Aqua gasped in disbelief. "That's so cheap! You said Dragon Egg can go as far as one hundred million!"

"I'm not sure it's a Dragon Egg," the fraud held up his hands. "It was a slip of the tongue. It's only one hundred Eris, one hundred, it's cheap isn't it? You get to keep that mysterious egg for only one hundred Eris!"

I squinted a little suspiciously before turning towards Aqua. Draped on a black cloth in her hands is an egg that for all intents and purposes looks like a chicken egg. Though, I have no idea what a dragon egg looks like.

What I'm sure of, is the fact that this guy here almost scammed Aqua.

"Well, I have a better solution to solve this problem," I told the two of them. "Why don't we ask the Resident Dragon Expert? If this is a dragon egg, then we'll pay the full price of one hundred million Eris. If it's not a dragon egg, and turns out to be, say, a chicken egg. We'll pay one hundred Eris, how about it?"

Aqua nodded in agreement. "Yes, Dust san is a dragon expert isn't he? He should be able to tell what kind of dragon egg this is."

Peddler nodded vigorously. "Yes! Take the egg for checking! I'll give you my business card if you have any complaints," he rummaged through his pocket, but I grabbed his hand. "Wh-wha?"

"Teleport,"

Just like that, Aqua, a very terrified merchant and I were standing in front of the guild. I forced the shivering merchant on his feet and opened the guild door. Revealing the usual rowdy guild house.

"Welcome Satou sama, Aqua sama," a brown haired waitress greeted us the moment we entered the guild. "Should we get you a seat?"

"No need, Anna chan. Say do you see Taylor's party anywhere?"

The waitress blushed a little before pointing at the table at our right. There, we saw Dust and Lynn arguing about something. It seems to be something serious judging by their expression.

"Okay, thanks Anna chan,"

"S'okay, Satou sama…"

I walked towards the two and they stopped arguing the moment they saw me. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?" I asked them.

Dust and Lynn quickly shook their heads. "No, nothing at all sensei, what brought you here? Who is that?" Lynn asked.

I 'gently' pushed the merchant towards them. "This nice person here claimed to have a dragon egg and tried to sell it to Aqua for the low, low price of one hundred million Eris," I told them. "We're just here to make sure we get what we paid for."

Dust raised his eyebrow in curiosity. "Dragon Egg?" he turned towards Aqua and looked at the egg draped in black cloth. "Can you show it to me?"

Aqua handed the egg carefully to Dust. The dragon expert uncovered the cloth and narrowed his eyes. "Senpai… I think you got scammed…"

I turned towards the merchant and he held up his hands. "I-I wasn't sure what egg it is!"

Lynn took one look at the egg before looking at us flatly. "This is obviously chicken egg."

Aqua looked terribly disappointed after hearing that, but I simply pat her shoulder comfortingly. "Well then, as per our agreement, we are going to buy this egg for only one hundred Eris," I grabbed a single copper coin and handed it to him.

The Merchant hastily took the coin and I gripped his hand. Then I slowly brought my face close to his ear. "I don't take kindly to people taking advantage of my dearest friend," I whispered to him while letting some bloodlust seep through. "Now I want you to go out there and give everyone else a warning. Never mess with Fantastic Dreamer."

I let go of his hand and the merchant bolted out of the guild. Once I'm sure he's out of sight, I sighed a little and sat down on the table beside Dust. Aqua sat down beside Lynn and currently inspecting the chicken egg.

"Well, what do you want to do with it Aqua?" I asked the goddess. "Should we have eggs for dinner?"

"What, no!" Aqua hugged the egg protectively. "I'm not going to eat this egg, I already named him."

"So you're keeping it?"

"Yes,"

Well, taking after an egg isn't the worst past time I can think of.

"Okay then, are you going to incubate it then?"

Aqua's eyes widened after hearing that. "Oh yeah! Kazuma, can you teleport me to the mansion? This child must be shivering in his shell!"

I snapped my finger and the girl vanished in a flash of light.

"So, is there a problem you two? I saw you arguing just now,"

"No, it's nothing sensei," Lynn said hastily she then glared at Dust. "Dust, don't bring Kazuma into trivial matter like this!"

Dust just looked at Lynn for a moment before sighing a little. "Fine," he looked back at me. "It's nothing sensei, we can handle it," he told me.

Meh, I have too much problem in my hands already. Speaking of trouble, should I tell them about this one? Maybe they can help me with something? I mean, they've converted to Paradox's religion, so that means they could be trusted right?

Yeah, I don't really feel like trusting Fantastic too much on this one. At this point, only Megumin, Elena, and Liz are the ones I can trust. Aqua is too stupid to keep a secret, Yunyun has zero mental fortitude, and Darkness is the problem itself.

"Say, Lynn, Dust, I need your opinion on something…"

The two of them looked at me in slight concern.

"What is it sensei/senpai?"

"You know about Chris's true identity right?" I asked them.

They both nodded. "Yes, Lady Paradox told us," Lynn said. "She's Lady…" I put a hand over mouth, cutting her off.

"Don't say her name. We'll call her Chris for now okay?"

Lynn nodded a little. "Yes, what about Chris?"

"Paradox gave me a mission to make her get over her hatred of undead and devils," I told her. "Now, just so we're on the same page, I'm going to tell you a very, very forbidden secret known only to the males on this town."

Dust's eyes widened after hearing that. "W-wait! Senpai! Are you sure?"

Lynn narrowed her eyes. "A forbidden secret known to all males?" she looked at Dust. "What's this about Dust?"

"It's…" Dust gulped a little. "Lynn… You absolutely cannot tell this to anyone, if the secret is out, the City of Axel will turn into riot!"

"It will be the fall of Axel for sure," I added.

The girl gulped nervously. "This sounds like a serious matter… I promise to keep it a secret but…"

"It's okay, all Paradox's devotee are the master of information," I told her. "As long as you promise to keep it to yourself, no one will know about it,"

"Okay… What is it sensei? And…" Lynn looked around a little. "Don't you think it's a bit crowded here?"

I nodded in agreement. "You're right, let's go somewhere safer,"