Fairy Tail: I Don't Want to Be the Guild Master

Erza sat on the ground, staring blankly at what remained in her hand.

"Paper? Wrapping paper?!"

It was as if she had both won and lost at the same time.

"The bouquet scattered!" the girls cried out, their voices full of alarm as though they had triggered some great disaster.

But things didn't end there. The cathedral roof had already been battered once by Juvia's water blade, then again by Kagura's gravity magic.

Now, after withstanding the magical clash of the three strongest contenders, it could bear no more.

With ominous cracking sounds, fissures spread across the ceiling. Pebbles began to fall, one after another, like the opening notes of a catastrophe.

Everyone looked up in shock. "Danger! Watch out!"

The girls who had been standing in the center scrambled to safety. A heartbeat later, a rumbling crash shook the cathedral as a huge section of the roof gave way, collapsing in a cloud of dust and debris.

"Cough, cough, cough…"

The room filled with choking smoke. People covered their mouths and noses or fanned the air frantically, calling out to their friends to check if anyone was hurt.

On the stage, Rhodes had already wrapped Mira protectively in his arms. A whirlwind swirled into being around them, isolating them from the dust.

Then, with a practiced flick of his hand, the whirlwind expanded, sweeping through the hall. The dust was gathered up, some whirled neatly out the doors and windows, while the rest was pushed into corners like a great broom sweeping a floor.

Fresh air returned, and at last everyone could see clearly again.

In the very center of the room lay a pile of rubble. Beside it sat Erza, still clutching ribbons and torn wrapping paper, her expression one of complete devastation.

Farther away, Lucy, Levy, Juvia, and the other girls had escaped in time, each with varying degrees of disheveled relief.

Curiously, fragments of the bouquet had scattered across the battlefield of would-be brides: one cluster landed directly in Juvia's arms, another nestled neatly onto Evergreen's fan, a third tangled itself into Jenny's golden hair, and one drooped precariously from Kinana's shoulder. A dozen or more flowers rained onto Levy, scattering across her head and falling at her feet.

Several of them gathered up their unexpected spoils with delighted smiles. Levy even arranged hers into a small makeshift bouquet, her cheeks glowing pink with happiness. Others, who had come away empty-handed, could only look on enviously.

But joy quickly gave way to realization. The destruction was undeniable. They had just demolished the cathedral, at someone else's wedding.

Uneasy eyes turned toward the stage, to the bride and groom, each girl silently searching for the words to apologize.

Natsu, of course, had no such tact. Hands on his hips, he burst into loud laughter. "Ahahaha! So this is how it turned out again! I should've joined in too!"

Bonk!

Gajeel smacked him on the head. "You idiot, learn to read the atmosphere once in a while!"

Gray narrowed his eyes at Gajeel. "Funny hearing that from you."

"Say that again!" Natsu snapped, grabbing Gajeel's collar.

"You wanna go?!"

The girls, still feeling guilty, all turned their furious glares on the two brawlers.

Laxus let out a long sigh, crossed his arms, then slammed them down, releasing a burst of lightning that knocked both dragon slayers flat in an instant. "If you're so desperate for a fight, I'll give you one when we get back."

The two lay twitching on the ground, smoke curling from their bodies. Gray silently edged away from them, his eyes scanning the floor in search of his missing shirt.

And then Mira clapped her hands. Her gentle smile spread like sunlight through the hall. "Thank you, everyone! Thank you so much for making our wedding this lively. Today is the happiest day of my life. Truly, thank you all for coming."

The mood shifted instantly.

"Ichiya of the Trimens!" Ichiya struck his most flamboyant pose, his arms spread wide. "Such kindness from our beloved bride! A demon? No… this is the fragrance of an angel!"

Eve immediately dropped to one knee beside him, extending a hand theatrically. "And the one to recognize this beauty at once..."

Hibiki and Ren chimed in smoothly, "is, of course, the most charming man of all!"

Ichiya sparkled from head to toe, striking a gallant pose as he swept back his bangs with practiced flair. His voice rang out profoundly,

"No, you are mistaken. Even with me here, there can only be one most charming man today, and that is none other than the groom, Mr. Rhodes!"

"What a broad mind!" The Trinity Raven dabbed at their eyes with their sleeves in unison, crying out with heartfelt emotion, "Brother Ichiya!"

Ichiya responded by smoothly shifting through several more of his "handsome" poses, each more dramatic than the last.

Jura, hands tucked inside his sleeves, offered a polite smile. "These people… their titles are as confusing as ever."

"..."

Rhodes felt a complicated mix of amusement and helplessness. For all his vanity, narcissism, and constant attempts to steal the spotlight, Ichiya truly wasn't a bad person at heart.

After that brief scene, the slightly awkward air quickly melted into laughter again.

Makarov returned to his giant form, effortlessly clearing away the pile of rubble with his massive hands. New carpet was laid down, and fresh petals scattered across it.

Everyone gathered around the bride and groom, guiding them along the flower-lined path out of the church.

From the shadows, the priest and a few clergy peeked into the ruined auditorium, shaking their heads with wry smiles before quietly retreating.

The bill can be sent tomorrow.

It wasn't the first time Fairy Tail had demolished a church. The one six years ago had been even worse. This was nothing new.

By now, the process from damage claims to reconstruction was practically routine.

The guests departed one after another, but Natsu and Gajeel were still lying behind in the hall.

Lucy and Levy, naturally, hurried over to check on them, each preparing to drag one away.

"Leave it to me," Lily said, noticing Levy struggling. Transforming into his muscular form, he lifted Gajeel by the arm and strode forward.

Levy had no choice but to follow along.

Happy, ever the reliable partner, or so he claimed, landed neatly on Natsu's shoulder instead of helping, only adding to Lucy's burden.

The two mages and the Exceed fell behind the others.

Lucy puffed out her cheeks in frustration. "You could at least help."

Happy, however, puffed out his chest proudly. "Aye! I've been working hard all day. I'm out of strength!"

"You don't look out of strength at all!" Lucy snapped. "Get down and walk yourself!"

Natsu, who was supposed to still be unconscious, grumbled, "You're so noisy, Lucy."

Lucy gasped, then blurted, "S-sorry." But a moment later she realized what he'd said and shouted even louder, "Wait, you're awake?! Then why are you still making me carry you?!"

Natsu scratched his head with a sheepish grin. "Ahaha… because your scent's really comforting, Lucy. I accidentally fell asleep."

"P-pervert!" Lucy squeaked, shoving him aside and crossing her arms protectively over her chest.

"Don't worry about little things like that," Natsu said cheerfully. With a grin, he produced a very poorly wrapped bouquet of white roses. "Here, take this!"

Lucy froze, her face instantly turning crimson. "Wh-why are you giving me flowers?!"

"Because you looked like you really wanted some," Natsu said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Even though you're timid, you actually went and fought Erza for them."

"T-that's not...what I wanted was the bride's bouquet! It's different… But still...thank you."

She accepted the clumsy bouquet with both hands, holding it close and gently breathing in the scent, her expression softening with emotion. Then, after a pause, her brow furrowed slightly.

"Why does this feel so familiar?"

Natsu puffed up with pride. "Because I had Happy secretly pick them from the flower arch!"

Lucy's face instantly darkened.

Happy, however, flew in gleefully to take credit. "Aye, sir! The wrapping paper is the prettiest napkin I found, and the string, stolen shoelaces!"

"You thief cat!" Lucy pointed at Happy in shock, then glanced at the pitiful bouquet again. Her voice trembled with outrage as she spun on her heel. "You two… you stole my move! Give it back!"

She bolted, red-faced and furious, clutching the bouquet as though it had personally insulted her.

Happy tilted his head. "Lucy is so weird."

Natsu scratched the back of his head, watching her storm off. "Exactly. I mean, she already has one of Mira's bouquets, doesn't she?"

Neither of them noticed that as Lucy ran, a tiny pink rose slipped loose from the back of her bridesmaid's dress and drifted to the ground.

Natsu ambled along toward the guild with his hands behind his head, carefree as ever. But after a moment's thought, he glanced down, spotted the fallen rose, and bent to pick it up.

...

STONES PLEASE

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