NOVEL NEXT Episode 20 ▶ Gender Panic – CovenCraft Recap S5 Week 1 w. sonicScrew
@Garden Variety Porphyry 21 hours ago
I’ve never seen so many self-deprecation jokes, is merlin okay??
13:29 screw sounds like a girl, it's so disturbing. are they a girl?
▴ 3 replies
@MMmuseum8254 20 hours ago
Tbh, compared to his streams, this is pretty tame. Besides, it’s funny
(and no, been watching him for years, screw is a man)
@Garden Variety Porphyry 20 hours ago
Have you heard them say “we were very close” at 20:47 ???
@MMmuseum8254 18 hours ago
i…
fuck
you’re making me doubt reality 😵😵😵
#general
—16 January 2024—
pikka202 Today at 14:03
I wanted to apologise for my comment about this place “not being safe for women”. I was in the wrong, it was inappropriate, and Sammy was right. I should strive to make this a better place for women anyway.
pikka202 Today at 14:14
And
Lol can’t believe i’m about to say this…
I would also like to announce that I’m dating FullFerret
FullFerret Today at 14:14
Awwwn so you decided to say it in the end
pikka202 Today at 14:15
Yeahhh i didn’t want to hide it
FullFerret Today at 14:15
Proud of you!
pikka202 Today at 14:15
mih
CarlWheel Today at 14:15
Nooooo i feel left ouuuut lmao
No homo tho hahahah
Wait, is this serious?
pikka202 Today at 14:16
Sdlkjgfnskfgnsgdf yeah…
Yes homo…
┌── CarlWheel Nooooo i feel left ouuuut lmao
FullFerret Today at 14:16
Is this serious?
CarlWheel Today at 14:20
UM
No???
Wait
I dont know
What?
What do you mean…
oh
Aaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaa
Um
Dm please
Nobody saw this, shut up
FullFerret Today at 14:21
:p
CarlWheel Today at 14:21
God save me…
pikka202 Today at 14:21
Lol
Skelegal Today at 14:39
Lol
┌── pikka202 I wanted to apologise…
✿Dulip✿ Today at 14:54
i largely prefer that over what you said yesterday lmao
pikka202 Today at 14:54
Sorry agrian
again*
✿Dulip✿ Today at 14:55
it’s fine dw
But i appreciate the apology
And i appreciate the homosexuality 👍
pikka202 Today at 14:55
Thanks?
┌── pikka202 I would also like to…
40bees Today at 15:28
Congrats! :)
I wish you two the best!
┌── 40bees I wish you two the best!
CarlWheel Today at 15:28
you three*
Amyyy Today at 15:28
lamo
lmao* not lamo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
➜ A wild Globule appeared. Today at 16:00
Globule changed their username to Glo "we are so" B. Ack. Today at 16:00
Glo "we are so" B. Ack Today at 16:01
HEYA!
I AM A DOG
ON THIS YEAR OF OUR LADY TWENTY TWENTY FOUR, I. AM. BACK.
Lil’ ol me missclicked on ‘Leave Server’ yesterday haha can you believe that
…
No really, I mean it…
Can you believe that, please?
Amyyy Today at 16:02
yes np
Mandel Today at 16:08
Never believed something that hard
Davio Today at 16:15
I don’t understand the request, this is what happened :p
40bees Today at 17:00
Hello again @everyone
First, to explain what happened: last night I was in DMs with orangetech to settle an old conflict. I turned off the server notifications and let the admin work on Skel.
But then Skel also had a heavy matter to handle minutes later.
That’s why you didn’t have any admins for a few hours, and why yesterday’s unfortunate incident occurred. It was entirely my fault. I will take full responsibility for the unfolding of events and will take the necessary actions to ensure it won’t happen again.
This starts with a temporary mute of MG.
I’m also considering adding a third person to the admin team. I’ll be conducting some interviews with some of you to see who’d be fit for the task and willing to take on this commitment.
And finally, in order to rekindle cohesion and understanding in the group, I’m calling a meet-up of the members. (It will probably happen somewhere in Belgium, as it came to my realisation that a lot of you are living there??)
As a carrot for you to come, I have convinced @orangetech to join us ;)
More on that in: #covencraft-2024-meetup.
sofa_king Today at 17:00
Thank you for your precious work 40 :-)
Davio Today at 17:01
Glo "we are so" B. Ack Today at 17:01
Thank you!
…and, well, sorry, um, for, like, blowing up
Mandel Today at 17:02
Yes, thank you
Skelegal Today at 17:02
❚ It was entirely my fault.
@40bees I don’t think it’s entirely your fault. I apologise as well for my negligence
40bees Today at 17:02
I respectfully disagree but I appreciate the sentiment
sofa_king Today at 17:02
You all did your best!
Mandel Today at 17:34
Oh btw, since we are on a coming out spree, let’s quickly get this out of the way: i'm girl (Rose, she/her)
Same precautions as Screw: minimal gendering until my public coming out
Amyyy Today at 17:34
knew it 😎
Mandel changed their username to Rose (Mandel). Today at 17:34
┌── Amyyy knew it 😎
Rose (Mandel) Today at 17:34
Yeah because I told you 😭
Amyyy Today at 17:34
stfuuu
40bees Today at 17:47
Congratulations for figuring this out!
sofa_king Today at 17:55
Wow! Two in a row. Congratulations Rose :-)
Carlwheel Today at 17:58
Cool
sonicScrew Today at 18:04
Oh congrats babe
FullFerret Today at 18:04
‘Babe’? That’s new :O
sonicScrew Today at 18:04
a
Rose (Mandel) Today at 18:04
a…
Amyyy Today at 18:05
oh no she did an alessia
FullFerret Today at 18:05
To be fair
pikka202 Today at 18:05
i had a hunch
FullFerret Today at 18:05
We knew
40bees Today at 18:05
Mm I thought that was already common knowledge?
Glo "we are so" B. Ack Today at 18:06
Cute
sonicScrew Today at 18:06
;-;
✦ ▶ ✦
“This week, on CovenCraft…”
Clear Day, by Bensound, started to play.
A clip of Pikka and FullFerret wandering around their own bases appeared on screen. They both were playing with distinctively feminine avatars, but they looked like… drawers? From feet to torso, their body was divided into sections, each of them containing different categories of items. Books, potions, plants, and, conveniently placed at the side of their heads, music discs, acting like ears.
“That’s right everyone,” Ferret declared, “in order to raise awareness to the merits of item sorting, we are disguised as shelf-girls!”
“Yeah! And by the way, Ferret, um, what do you think of my skin?” Pikka asked. “I made it myself and, well…” he trailed off.
Ferret started turning around Pikka, taking his skin in from all angles. “Damn, you're rocking that bod.”
“What?”
“I mean it, girl, look at yourshelf.”
The clip cut, and the title ‘CovenCraft Recap Week 1’ took its place.
“Welcome to the CovenCraft Recap, my name is MerlinTheLog, captions on this video were provided by ZoeXP, and today—” he left the suspense build for a second, looking at the camera with a smirk and rolling one end of his ginger moustache between his thumb and pointer finger “—we are joined by sonicScrew for our very first interview of the season.”
His voice was clear and deep, courtesy of his Red Sasquatch microphone and comfortable-looking couch, both surely helping him achieve such a relaxed tone. “But before we get to that, as is the rule on this podcast — it’s in the name! — let’s get on with the recap of this first week of CovenCraft season five. Hell yeah, new season!”
The image of his living room — the beige wall of which was adorned, from left to right, with his one-hundred-thousand subscriber YouTube Play Button, a television standing on an old, unused fireplace, and a malnourished weeping fig — faded out, making way to a succession of excerpts from every member’s first video.
It had been only a week since we’d shot that part, but it now felt so distant. All the recent tension had tainted the way I looked at it, and I could only hope the viewers wouldn’t ever know what had happened. CovenCraft was there to lighten up the mood; some people might have had an excruciating day of work, might have been dumped, might feel alone, might need a smile, and our videos were their way out. We had a responsibility there. We couldn’t let them down. We couldn’t break the magic. The show had to go on.
I sighed and refocussed on the video playing.
“After a few hours of playtime only, strange fluctuations were felt in the air, and a panicked Glob came panting from the Savanna with grave news of a mysterious machine. In a turn of events not many could have predicted, the instantly-iconic Syphon entered the stage, and took on unprecedented importance.”
In rapid succession, Glob’s, MG’s, and my transformation sequences were shown, along with those of Carlwheel, Skel, Pikka, and Rose, which had happened in other videos than mine. Special mention to Carl, who'd gone through the Syphon twelve times since the start of the season — each time coming out with a different flowery magical girl outfit.
“...And that's about all the people who had a go at the Syphon.”
The video came back to Merlin’s gruff, beardy face looking straight at the camera.
“Nope. No more transformations. That was all. No, really! Are you doubting me?” He got closer to the camera and raised an eyebrow cartoonishly. “I see you typing that comment! Yet I absolutely did not—”
The sequence of his own transformation cut him off, alternating between his point of view, mine, and the one from Glob's livestream. Once again, his red and blue lumberjack skin slowly shedded its beard and morphed its short hair into a pixie cut.
The image came back to real-life Merlin, who had shaved off his beard, got the real-life equivalent of his Minecraft avatar’s haircut, and was looking intensely up at the camera. “Okay,” he said after a pause and waved a hand dismissively, “okay, okay, okay! I confess. I admit it. I did the thing. I got syphoned. Yours truly had their go at it, turning into a lumberjack mom, and, well, it was fun, going around and starting the season as a woman. Definitely an improvement over… whatever this was.” A photo of his bearded and unkempt past self appeared on the side, and he gestured at it with a dry, disgruntled wince, then wagged his pointer finger towards the audience. “But don't get this twisted, my lovelies, it was coerced! All the blame's on Glob and Screw, those little pests.”
Oh, I didn't know he had included that sentence in the recap. I let out a little giggle.
“Jokes aside, my transformation, late on Saturday, was actually the first time the machine started acting strangely, as you will see in this clip.”
The scene following his transformation played out from his point of view, and he was way closer to the machine. I saw again the way the Syphon contorted the land around it after Merlin had passed.
“Turns out,” Merlin continued to explain, “that was the machine telling us it was tired of constant usage. And throughout the week, some people reported failing to go back to their original state. I was a victim of this, actually. If you remember episode five, when I finally tried to go back, the Syphon flubbed!”
In the background, the footage of that very failure played, with its sound subdued — except for one moment, where the creepy, cranky sound of the Syphon echoed against the cliff.
Merlin’s face came back, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “Fwah! Gives you the heebie jeebies, right? Well, fret not, fortunately for me, it worked on the second attempt. But on Wednesday, Carlwheel didn’t get the same luck…”
An eerie music started playing, and a clip from Carlwheel’s sixth episode played.
CarlWheel was using, in my own professional opinion, a quite ugly resource pack. Its one-hundred-and-twenty-eight pixel wide, hyper-detailed, colourful block textures, combined with YouTube's poor video encoding, led to an oversaturated, blocky mess of an image — he didn’t even have a shader on! To his credit, his choice of resource pack did have one big positive: making plants and flowers look exceptionally pretty. And for a person whose talent was sprouting tentacular, organic build rife with foliage and colours, it made some sense. Even though that sense was lost in compression.
“The plan for today’s episode is, first and foremost, to continue working on Pikka’s purpur shop,” Carl said in the clip. “In order to do that I — of course — need to go back to Duchess Lavender’s outfit, since the theme for that build is lavender.”
After a cut, Carl was out of the Syphon, rocking a lavender knee-length dress with loose gray leg warmers and big boots. His hair was cut in a side-shave, dropping loosely on his right shoulder and, despite only being a few pixels, his eyes were somehow sparklier than fireworks, and, gosh, since when did all the CovenCraft members have so many girl skins at the ready? Had they all been stashing them for years, preparing for this opportunity?
“Here we go,” he said, his voice staying rather masculine in sound, “now that’s taken care of, we can get the building phase started!”
“Carl finished Pikka’s command,” Merlin’s narration took over, images of the various stages of Carl’s build following one another in the background while he explained the context behind the strange construction and Carl’s building business. “Then, right after the completion of his task, misfortune struck. I’ll let the clip speak for itself.”
“I really hope Pikka will like it,” Carl spoke again. His voice had gone up a note or two, and sounded uncharacteristically cheerful. “I put three hours into that giant chorus flower alone. That deserves a tip — at least — or even more. No homo though.” Famous last words. “Alright, let’s deliver him the good news.”
He started bunny hopping in the direction of the nearest Nether portal, but there was a cut before he could reach it and the Syphon appeared on the screen as he rounded the corner of a cliff. “Almost forgot to change back,” his voice was back to his usual tone.
Humps and cracks of sculk were littered across the ground, extending to at least fifty blocks from the machine. Unphased, he walked up to the cage, positioned himself, and pointed his character to face the button on the ground, but before doing anything, he let out a shaky breath and muttered, “Okay, please don’t growl; don’t break.”
He pressed the button, and a sound played out — not a good one. A growl. And then nothing happened.
“Okay, one fail. Nothing unheard of for now. Let’s try again.”
He pressed the button, and after a while, the machine roared.
Carl’s breathing accelerated. “Third time’s a charm?”
He pressed it again, and this time, no sound, no transformation. The machine had stopped working.
He pressed it a few dozen times again, but his efforts were fruitless.
Judging by the “Oh, fuck ye— Oh, sorry, no swearing” blurt that played out, Carl didn’t seem to be the kind of person to edit his video a lot. And no shade thrown at him for that. In fact, a lot of people liked a more laid-back style of video. But maybe, just maybe, you should cut out the part where you giggle and sigh dreamily at the prospect of being stuck as a girl — in Minecraft.
He got out of the machine with three jumps. “Well I’m stuck, and it seems the machine is broken. Too bad! I’ll have to confront Pikka looking like this, I guess. Oh, maybe I can ask him to try if it’s broken for him too? Maybe it depends on the player.”
“And try they did,” Merlin intervened. “With Pikka in tow, Carl came back to the crime scene and tested his hypothesis. Turns out, the Syphon was perfectly happy to girlify Pikka, but not boyify him back. Of course, no test is exhaustive without reproducibility, so they called their buddy FullFerett as well, and confirmed once and for all that none of them could go back to being boys. They also brought along Skel for the ride, and she experienced the opposite: she was boyified but not girlified.”
The music stopped, indicating that we had reached the conclusion of the recap, and Merlin came back on screen, slouched back on the couch with a cup of coffee in one hand and his mic in the other. “Mystery’s afoot, my lovelies. CovenCraft is experiencing an unprecedented gender crisis! All the peeps who changed at the wrong time are now stuck in their genderbent appearances. ‘But why?’ you might ask. Well, right now, the theory holding most water is that the machine seems to be unable to revert its own changes. To use with caution, I say. To use with caution…” he repeated, his voice lower in volume, and he lifted the corner of his mouth ever so slightly. “And now here comes the part you were all waiting for.”
Suddenly, accompanied by the brassy call of a trumpet, a red and black jingle with the words ‘The Interview’ in big, bold letters passed briefly across the screen.
He had scooted a few inches to his left, and a default Discord profile picture in a grey circle appeared in the other part of the couch. “As you know, we like company here; we like a little conversation from time to time; we like an occasional talky talky,” he said, cringely. “And since I have no friends, I’m forcing my colleagues to talk to me for content! Hi Screw, how’re you doing?”
“Hi!” My voice came out as androgynous as I could get away with, which, to be fair, wasn’t very different from my traditional video voice. “Glad to be here. Thank you for the invitation, Merlin. I’m doing very well. How about you?”
“As good as any average-looking dad in their mid-thirties — which is to say, pretty meh.” He chuckled, then took a sip of his coffee. “I jest, I jest. I’m doing good, Screw. So,” he exclaimed, directly segueing into his next sentence but leaving a pause for effect, “as viewers can see on their screen, you’re not with me on the couch, you don’t have a webcam, there’s just your Discord icon, and that’s it. You don’t show your face, and that’s a bit unusual for a YouTuber, right? I suppose you got this question a lot, but since you're new on the channel — and on the server, for that matter — would you like to explain that decision?”
“Sure! I don’t have anything shady to hide. I just don’t believe my face and my personality are what I want my videos to be about. My thing is more timelapses and fun redstone.” Images from my Let’s Play series had started to play to illustrate my words.
“And pretty timelapses they are! I encourage everyone to check out Screw’s channel. There’s a lot of work going into these videos. Oh, and when you say you ‘don’t believe your face is what your videos are about,’ mood, my friend — big mood. I wish I had your clairvoyance and never decided to show my face, but here we are. We’re all stuck with whatever this is.” He gestured at his body with an air of disgust. “But enough about me. Tell me about that first episode…”
Even though I completely knew what had happened in the rest of that discussion — I was there, it helped — I continued watching it until its end. Merlin had asked me to do so to ensure everything in there was okay to publish. And if it was not, I could provide him with feedback.
Fortunately, there was nothing to worry about. As far as I was concerned, the recap and the interview were flawless.
“And I’m done. Watched it all. Thanks for not gendering me, by the way,” I said as I closed the video’s tab.
“No prob, Celia. It's the least I could do,” his voice came up in my headset.
A smile crept up on my face. Getting Celia’d by my coworker wasn’t something I would have put on my euphoria list, but apparently it lodged its way there nonetheless. And it felt great.
“Funny thing is,” he continued, stuttering a bit, “I kinda get you in a way. I really don’t like this whole gendering thingie either.”
I hummed. “It’s not that I don’t like it. More that I don’t like it when it’s masculine.”
“Yeah, exactly! I mean, why do we have to be gendered like that all the time? Man, guy, dad. I don't get the point.”
“And would you get the point with woman, girl, and mum?”
That's the part where, if my suspicions were correct, his internal monologue would go:
Oh.
Oh.
He stopped talking for a solid thirty seconds. Touché, it seemed. Or maybe I should have said ‘touchée’?
I leaned forward in my chair. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to—”
“Wouldn't hurt to try, right?” she cut me off.
We got another one, gang.
✦ ▶ ✦
#covencraft-2024-meetup
—16 January 2024—
40bees 16/01/2024 17:01
As said in #general, I would like to call a meeting!
I’m open to suggestions for the meet-up venue’s location. Feel free to send them in DMs.
(It has to be in belgium, as we already have someone with a car to drive people from Brussels to wherever the venue will be)
For the date, I’ve crossed-checked all your schedules and I think Sunday, 21 January 2024 17:00 would be perfect.
But for now, the question of the day is:
▶️Who will be there?
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
Glo "we are so" B. Ack 16/01/2024 17:01
ME
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
Rose (Mandel) 16/01/2024 17:13
40bees 16/01/2024 17:14
E?
Rose (Mandel) 16/01/2024 17:14
I mean yeah, if you want estrogen i can give you some, but no, it’s Mi, learn your solfège!!!
Glo "we are so" B. Ack 16/01/2024 17:14
nerd
40bees 16/01/2024 17:15
Ah, apologies. Looking forward to meeting you in person!
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
sonicScrew 16/01/2024 17:32
Me too c:
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
pikka202 16/01/2024 19:44
Not me :c
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
CarlWheel 16/01/2024 19:44
Nor me :c
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
FullFerret 16/01/2024 19:44
Normie :c
Sorry, it will be our first date. And we’re in the US…
40bees 16/01/2024 19:47
That’s fine. We could set up a US meetup next month. It’s no trouble
FullFerret 16/01/2024 19:50
We’d like that!
—17 January 2024—
Amyy 17/01/2024 15:21
so
Alessia ❀ 17/01/2024 15:21
so
Amyy 17/01/2024 15:21
@NESammy81 and @AlexCraft are unfortunately not there on ssunday.
but rejoice! hope is not lost! we were thinking maybe we can act as middlewomen for them?
Alessia❀ 17/01/2024 15:21
what she means is we could come to the meet-up in their stead, if that’s okay with everyone?
40bees 17/01/2024 15:51
Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve heard much from them on Discord since you two joined. Are they okay?
But yes, by all means, you’re welcome to join us. This is a casual hangout, everyone is welcome
NESammy 17/01/2024 15:51
YES WERE VERY OKAY DW
AlexCraft 17/01/2024 15:51
THE OKAYEST
40bees 17/01/2024 15:52
Glad to hear it
┌── 40bees But yes, by all means…
Alessia❀ 17/01/2024 15:52
ypeeeeepieeee
Amyy 17/01/2024 15:52
40 you are the GOAT that you think you are
40bees 17/01/2024 15:52
A goat?
🐐
Amyy 17/01/2024 15:52
don’t worry about it!!!
—18 January 2024—
MerlinTheLog 18/01/2024 20:15
Sorry guys but booking a flight to belgium this late will be a bit tricky for me.
But please don’t postpone the date. As you know I’m alone to raise my kid, so I’d rather not leave them alone for too long anyway. Enjoy yourselves!
I’ll see you all in the Recap’s interviews!
40bees 18/01/2024 20:29
Okay, np
—19 January 2024—
┌── 40bees ▶️Who will be there?
✿Dulip✿ 19/01/2024 10:34
I will be there!
—20 January 2024—
40bees Today at 09:00
Okay here’s the list of members who will be there tomorrow (got the rest of the answers in DMs):
@Alessia❀,
@Amyyy,
@Glo "we are so" B. Ack,
@orangetech,
@Rose (Mandel),
@Skelegal,
@sonicScrew,
@✿Dulip✿,
and Mi :)
We discussed the matter of where this would happen at length with @Glo "we are so" B. Ack and found a suitable venue where everyone can feel safe to come as themselves ;) It’s a place called the Gayette, an LBGTQI+ association in Belgium, not far from Brussels. They have a fair amount of free rooms ready for this kind of small event.
DMing everyone who will be there the address now.
Glo "we are so" B. Ack Today at 09:02
I strongly believe this is the most convenient place for a majority of the members
sonicScrew Today at 09:02
a
wow
This is awfully close to my home yeah
Rose (Mandel) Today at 21:16
And mine
Amyyy Today at 09:41
And mine
Alessia Today at 09:41
And mine
Glo "we are so" B. Ack Today at 09:41
And mine
orangetech Today at 12:42
And mine
Wait, what?
