Exploring the Gateway

The area around him faded in slowly, and he found himself once again in the abandoned building he had first entered the Gateway from. Returning to Springfield, he didn’t know where to start. His parents were told something he didn’t know the specifics of, and Alice had probably gotten that same information from his parents. Whatever that was, it was a lie, and he needed to keep it up. Regardless, he had been gone for almost a week now, and he had left without any notice. It was likely they were all quite worried about him at this point, even if it was a convincing lie. First, he needed some new clothes, and so his decision was made for him. Going back home and talking to his parents would be first. Exiting the building quickly, he began his trek to the other side of the city and his house..

As he approached his house, he checked his phone briefly. Almost a hundred messages from his parents and Alice appeared, and a dozen missed calls. Some of them were more recent, especially a few messages from Alice. That was something he would have to take care of once he thought of what to tell his parents. Fortunately, that wasn’t needed. His parents were still out of the house when he got home, being only early afternoon.

He pulled out his keys from his inventory with a thought and entered his home. The place he hadn’t been in for over a week now. John was certain that’s the longest he’d ever been away from a familiar environment. With the chaos and action that constantly surrounded him during that time, he had only noticed that fact now. Not wanting to stand there for long, he took care of a couple of things. First, he ran up to his room, finding it just as he left it, and quickly threw on some clothes. He also took his school uniform out of his inventory. The tattered and dirty shirt and pants he had been in for the last few were thrown into one of the corners of the room, to be dealt with later.

That was when the memory of the places he had been to and of all that had transpired hit him once again. He now truly realized all that had happened was, and what he had done. Almost instantly the hardship and struggle of the last week caught up to him, and he found himself utterly devoid of strength. Jumping out of his chest, his heart pulled him to a stop. Beating swiftly and erratically but also at a snail’s pace. Like it was rapidly trying to force him into unconsciousness, and reminding him of the exact moment that wolf jumped on him almost two days ago. It made him realize something utterly terrible, he had murdered a living being, an animal. Mocking him, the popup then appeared.

Evolved Wild Wolf killed: 50 XP gained

There was no way back now. Even if he hadn’t killed a person yet, he found it increasingly likely that he would one day be forced to. It made him sick, more than he had ever been before. His mind was fighting his heart, trying to settle it, but there was no way to. So his feelings won out, and the strength in his legs failed. Nothing could be done to change what had happened, but it all stung at him now, chipped away at his mind. When it was still happening he had forced himself to remain stoic, but he didn’t need that now, and so he broke apart.

He didn't know how long had passed, but the next thing he knew he was sitting on the floor, sobbing. About what, he didn’t know anymore, he wasn't even sure he wanted to know. Perhaps it had long since passed crying about just what had happened, but he couldn’t be sure. Regardless, he felt his heart weigh heavier on him now, a weight he would not easily lose. This was a different John now, for his actions and inactions, but he had done the best he could, and he would continue to do so. Realizing that sitting there won’t help, and with determination to move forward, he found the ability to rise up. Stiffly, he tried to straighten his legs, he almost couldn’t feel them at first. But slowly, that feeling came back. With his eyes still wet, he stood up slowly, his legs still shaking, and moved on. Other problems he needed to deal with now, as it was now dark outside, but his parents were still not home.

’Alice,’ he thought that single word on its lonesome for the second time that week. Recalling the events of that night, he knew what he had done was the right thing, just by instinct. A voice in the back of his mind told him otherwise. That him and Alice had not discussed their relationship, they had not even kissed more than a handful of times. John’s lust and good sense were fighting one another, just as they did back then. Sense won out in the end, just like then, and he knew he wanted to go to Alice. In order to apologize for being gone for so long, to ask her what she wanted out of their relationship, and what she felt about it. Whatever he wanted, that talk he so wanted to avoid was necessary, now more than ever, and he now owed it to her too.

He walked out of the house straight after, locking the door behind him. Talking to his parents could wait until he returned. For now, he had a singular purpose. In slow steps he made his way towards his destination. Which was the house of the one person he wanted to visit most but was most afraid to visit.

The house began growing larger as John got closer. It was very similar to John’s own, being made of two floors and generally looking like a standard suburban house. Although it was raised above the ground, being built on a small hill. Light shone through a single window above the garage, Alice’s window. She was obviously home. Wanting to talk to her, he pulled out his phone and called her once he composed himself enough to press her name on his contact list. Familiar notes rang out as he stood there. It didn’t take long for them to stop and only her breath to be heard on the other side. Not knowing what to say at first, John waited. So did she, and silence prevailed for a while.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words to come out of John’s mouth. Regardless of what Alice had thought happened, that was true.

“What exactly are you sorry for?” she began, anger obvious in her shaking voice, “you disappeared for days, didn’t even call, or tell me what was going on. And when I asked around in some naive attempt to find you, I found out you were going around with someone else?! So tell me, John, what are you sorry for? Betraying me and my trust? Or me finding out?” she was almost crying, John could tell, and it only made that worse.

`This can’t be happening, no, what am I supposed to do now? Why now…’ with those simple words from Alice his world came crashing down again, ’no, no, no... I can’t lose her again… These past years have already been too much, I can’t let what happened with Ember ruin this. I can’t… I have to fix this, somehow!’ his mind raced to fix the situation, but she didn’t wait for him to find a solution.

“So you have nothing to say for yourself?” she said, her voice growing increasingly hoarse, “after all this time, you told me you wanted to try again. I wanted to believe you. But here we are, and now I know you’ve changed. I can’t trust you anymore, John. You used to tell me everything. We told each other everything. And now you went behind my back. I don’t care where you were, or what excuse you can come up with for going around with that purple haired bitch. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore-” silence rang out again. She had hung up, and he was so utterly lost.

Maybe there was nothing to be done. There probably wasn’t, but it didn’t matter. Again and again he tried to call her, he heard the chime again before being quashed seconds later. He put his phone back in his pocket, she wouldn’t answer, he already knew that. John focused on his breathing, attempting to calm himself down. Step by step he moved forwards, towards the house and the window. It was still open. Maybe, if he could just talk to her, it would change something, anything...

’If I tell her about the Abyss, will she believe me?’ he thought, his walking pace was as sluggish as his mind felt. It was thinking of a hundred different options at once, but they all seemed like dead ends, ’there’s no way she would,’ that idea was dismissed as well. Nothing could be done, he realized. Regardless, in some vain attempt he talked under her window under the window. Hoping his voice would carry.

"Alice, I would never do that. There are things I can't tell you, that's true, but it's because you wouldn't believe me." he paused for a second, there was only silence as a response. It wasn’t hard for John to see why, he wasn’t sure he’d believe himself right now, and she might not even hear him. She always used to say, "trust me", but now he was the one to ask her that.

"And if you did believe me, you would never be safe again. I'd rather lose everything we've worked on than lose you forever, you have to know that," it all felt so pointless, but he kept talking, "I haven't changed, I still love you," he finally said something he had been waiting so long to say out loud. Any other time, that would have lifted a stone from his heart, but now it only made his pain worse. Finally, another sound was heard, her window was shut with a single movement. The loud noise left John with nothing. He had once again failed.

He awoke the next day to find himself once again in the same place he started. Gaining one thing, a new opportunity in life, and losing another, the only real chance he ever had at a normal life. The girl he loved was once again lost to him, and the pain was still as fresh as it could be. Every time he thought about it hit him anew, and it felt like being dunked repeatedly in a bath of ice.

’At least I still found something,’ he had found knowledge of the Abyss. As terrifying as it was, it had given him purpose, and he now had all the reasons he needed to take Ingrid up on her offer. There had long been only the slightest connection tying him to the normal world. In a moment, the vain hope of a relationship with Alice and a normal life had been destroyed. Cut down savagely by the facts of the Abyss and his own failures. Now tying him were only his parents, something he would have to shed eventually, and only to the same degree. He could still visit them occasionally, but he knew now that his purpose would be found beyond those arches.

With that decision weighing heavily on him, he settled down. He would not soon forget what had happened, but there was a greater purpose to pursue. Something to distract him, just as video games had done for years. It still left him a week, and nothing to do in it but mourn his own failures. Luckily, he was given something to do straight away.

Ingress level task completed: Ingress levelled up

There was only one thing added to the skill. It allowed him to create what Ingrid told him about, barriers. A strange connection at first, but then he thought about it for a while.

`To Ingress, huh? In other words, this ability allows me to enter something. I suppose that now extends to both the Planes and barriers… I wonder if they have something in common,’ John was curious, as well as eager to see what he would find in them, but another popup distracted him.

An achievement for joining a guild made sense, and more charisma points were always helpful. Though the most interesting part was the new system apparently unlocked.

’A party system? I wonder what that exactly means,’ John believed he would find out soon enough. After all, he was supposed to be a leader now. It didn’t take long before his attention was grabbed by another popup.

Orianna’s high RP score brought John’s mind back to the topic of Alice, his mind couldn’t get away from it. A whispering thought told him that if he had done anything with Orianna nothing would have changed with Alice, but the second bashed even the thought of actually betraying her trust. Regardless, that train of thought hit like a punch in the gut, and he was once again lost in thinking about it.

His parents returned late that night, and they greeted him with hugs, kisses, and a few words “we were worried about you? What were you doing at that academy?” Brooke asked as soon as they saw him.

“Umm… Yeah, I got accepted into it suddenly. They brought me there to do some tests,” it was a weak lie, but the only one he could come up with on the spot.

“And you were too busy to call us or visit from Lake State College? It’s close by!” she seemed to be somewhat angry at John.

“I was working my butt off, sorry…” that seemed to convince them, but as parents usually are, they were worried about it. More importantly, they were also happy to see him back. His mom mentioned Alice had called them a couple times, and asked what had happened to get them back on speaking terms. John lied, saying it was because of a school project they were paired on. It was still too fresh to explain the truth, and his mother would have jumped for joy if she knew he had dated his childhood friend, even if it was only for a short time.

Once they arrived back at the topic of the college, they told him they knew he would be returning there for “pre-semester course work”. In other words, the cover for his training. That solved any issue he might have had in explaining the situation, but it would be a bit tougher to do so for the school. His parents, however, suggested that he drop out once he officially started his first semester. After all, the only reason he went to Ashcroft was to get this exact kind of opportunity.

Despite being unsure, he agreed, and the last thing forcing him to stay in Springfield was eliminated.