Chapter 33 — First steps
[Aster]
It had been a long and brutal month since the snowstorm had started, and still, there was no sign of it letting up. Soon, it will be his first birthday, but it looks like it will be celebrated under horrible circumstances, if at all. Inside the cave, the temperature seemed to drop every passing day, leaving their small family shivering despite the warmth of the fire. It was a constant battle against the elements, and with each passing day, it seemed like the odds were stacked higher against them.
They barely got to eat, and he could hear the girl's stomachs grumble constantly. He tried his best to keep his spirits up and his smile bright, but as time passed, a feeling of hopelessness and fear began to take hold.
Sometimes, his sister, this sweet little girl, would cry in the middle of the night. He could hear her quiet sniffles and the sound of her hand wiping away the tears from her face. It was heartbreaking to listen to, but he could do nothing to comfort her. More than anything, he wished to make it all go away somehow, but there was so little he could do... He even practiced to say the word "Silvia" just to cheer her up. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, and the tears kept flowing.
The way the girls changed over the last week was terrifying to see. Silvia has dark circles under her eyes and a sickly look. Nivalis's look is equally worrying, if not worse... With her ribs poking through her skin, her cheeks sunken in, and her eyes hollow. In the last few days, both girls have been skipping meals, giving Aster the last remnants of their supplies.
Nivalis was the one who always kept the entire family going. She remained positive and tried her best to cheer everyone by telling stories, singing songs, and playing games. However, today was different. The usual morning, which was the same as any other, felt different. The chill in the air was the same, and the winds outside were howling as usual. The only difference was that Nivalis looked exhausted and scared. Aster could see it in her eyes whenever she thought no one was looking.
Throughout the entire morning, Nivalis felt the anxiety rising in her chest, and she knew that something had to change. She couldn't keep pretending everything was fine, and this nightmare would be over any day now. It was time to accept reality. She needed to take action before it was too late. She couldn't allow her children to starve to death right before her eyes.
She took a deep breath and turned towards her daughter, sitting quietly beside the fire, holding her brother on her lap. Her eyes were slightly puffy and red. She clearly tried to hide it. "Silvia... Listen to me," Nivalis spoke weakly as she knelt before her daughter and held her hands, "I'm going out for a few hours... maybe longer," she paused, taking a deep breath to gather her thoughts, "I'll find something for us to eat."
Silvia's face immediately darkened. "What? No!" she cried out fearfully. Her eyes widened in horror as she stared at her mother in disbelief.
"I need to, Silvia. We are out of food, sweetheart," Nivalis replied desperately. Her eyes got slightly wet as she struggled to hold back her emotions. "But I promise, I'll return to you as soon as possible. I'll bring back something for all of us to eat, alright?"
"Please, Mommy, please don't go!" Silvia begged desperately. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she clung onto Nivalis tightly as if her mother's life depended on it.
"I'll be fine, darling," Nivalis assured softly. She kissed the top of her head and held her tightly in her embrace, comforting her daughter. "It's okay, it will be alright."
"Mommy..." Silvia whimpered pathetically, tears running down her cheeks. "I love you so much, Mommy. I'm sorry for being such a burden..." her voice trembling and broken by sobs.
Nivalis cupped her daughter's face and lifted it gently. She wiped away the tears from Silvia's face with her thumbs. "My darling, you have never been a burden," Nivalis said softly, tenderly caressing her daughter's cheek. "Never. And I love you too, so, so much. I will do anything for you, Silvia. You are my most precious treasure."
Silvia stared up at her mother's tear-stained face, sniffling and whimpering quietly. Then, suddenly, she wrapped her arms around Nivalis's neck, burying her face into her mother's bosom. "Don't go, Mommy!"
Silvia continued to weep, clinging to her mother's neck, refusing to release her grip.Nivalis didn't answer; she simply held her daughter tightly, trying to comfort her. After about ten minutes of swaying and a gentle rub of her back, Silvia nodded in agreement. Nivalis took this as a sign that she was ready to be left alone. She stood up and began preparing.
She took her time to ensure she was well protected against the elements. She wrapped herself in layers of clothing, putting on everything she had available. Once satisfied with the result, she picked up her trusty backpack, bow, and arrows.
With everything in place, she took a deep breath and glanced at her beloved children one final time. Silvia held her knees close to her chest and looked back at her with her golden eyes filled with sadness. Aster was next to her — "Ma-ma!" he squeaked, looking directly into her eyes. Nivalis smiled and blew a kiss at him. She couldn't bring herself to say a proper goodbye to her sweet little boy. Seeing him cry would make it impossible for her to leave.
Her legs were shaky, and her heart was pounding in her chest. This was it.
"Wait for me, you two. I'll be back as quickly as I can." She said and turned around, stepping out into the deadly blizzard.
...
The cave went completely silent after Nivalis left. Silvia sat by the fire, staring blankly at the flames, her golden eyes empty and dull. She didn't move or speak at all, seemingly frozen in place. Aster crawled over and nudged her knee to get her attention, but she didn't react.
— "Si-v... Si-vi-a..." Aster mumbled softly, struggling to form his words, trying his best to get her to respond. But she didn't. She didn't even blink. It looked like she was in some kind of trance, completely lost in her thoughts, unable to think or function properly anymore.
He looked at her helplessly, his gaze shifting between her face and the cave entrance, hoping to see his mother change her mind. But the seconds stretched into minutes, and she didn't come back.— 'This isn't good... I need to get her to snap out of it,' Aster urgently thought.
— 'I wish I knew how to talk more,' he frowned. Despite his best efforts, he struggles to form coherent words and sentences. His mouth and tongue seemingly refused to cooperate. On top of it, learning an entirely unfamiliar language without any aid or support was hard. Really hard.
He sighed heavily and began crawling around her in circles, trying to find a way to get her to react.— 'What can I do? I need to cheer her up! I have to make her feel better!' Aster thought desperately.
Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.— 'That's it! I got it!' he exclaimed mentally. 'She smiled so much when I crawled for the first time or when I made my first word. If I show her that I'm walking, that will cheer her up!'
With that plan in mind, Aster began attempting to stand, using Silvia's thigh for support. He placed his hands on her leg and leaned heavily against her as he struggled to balance himself. His knees wobbled, his ankles trembled, and his muscles twitched as he attempted to put all his weight onto his legs. It was difficult and tiring, but he forced his body to move anyway.
He wobbled unsteadily and swayed from side to side but managed to stay on his legs.— 'I got this! I'm going to do it for my big sis!' he shouted in his mind. Silvia remained unaware of Aster's attempts to cheer her up, oblivious to his actions.
Aster grinned widely and took his first step, moving his legs forward in a clumsy but determined fashion. He felt his heart pound rapidly inside his chest as he did so, but he ignored it, focusing solely on reaching his goal. His second step was equally shaky, and his third was more hesitant than the others.
The fourth step was too much for him to bear, so he collapsed into a heap on top of Silvia. He fell onto her lap, hitting his nose against her knee painfully. He groaned softly as he rubbed his nose, his eyes watering from the impact.
Silvia finally noticed Aster's movements and turned her head toward him. "Aster?" she questioned quietly, looking at him. "...Did you just... walk?" she asked in astonishment as her eyes widened slightly at realizing what Aster had just done.
— "Aah!" he shouted energetically, excitedly waving his arms around.
"You walked... You actually walked!" Silvia exclaimed, but it quickly turned into sobs. She couldn't stop herself from crying anymore. Tears poured from her eyes uncontrollably.
Aster's joyful expression changed into worry, seeing his sister's tears.
Silvia wrapped her arms around Aster's tiny body and hugged him firmly against her chest. She cried so hard that her shoulders trembled, and she gasped for air between each breath.
— "Si-vi-a," he murmured softly, hoping it might calm her down somehow.
"You are so wonderful... I'm so proud of you," Silvia sniffled, her tears wetting Aster's hair as she hugged him close to her. She continued to cry, unable to stop herself from doing so despite her best efforts.
After a while, she wiped her tears away and gave Aster a weak smile. "Sorry, I scared you, didn't I?" she apologized weakly, rubbing her red eyes. "Don't worry, Asty. Everything will be alright," she assured, her voice quivering slightly.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the air into her lungs. "It's alright. I know Mommy will come back," she whispered to herself. She hugged Aster tightly once again and rocked him gently. "She will return, and she'll bring us delicious food. Lots and lots of food. Right, Aster?"
— "Mmm!" he hummed, nodding in response as if understanding what she just said.
Silvia giggled slightly and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Asty. Thank you for cheering me up," she murmured, smiling at him gratefully.
— 'Yes! I did it! She smiled!' Aster grinned and wriggled happily, his chubby cheeks reddening in excitement.
Silvia laughed as she watched Aster's cute reaction, wiping away the remains of her tears with her sleeve. "I love you, Asty. So much," she told him, planting a long, gentle kiss on his forehead.
...
Silvia and Aster lay in bed together for hours, doing nothing but cuddling. She talked nonstop to Aster, telling him all kinds of things he could hardly understand but enjoyed listening to anyway. She spoke softly, caressing his hair affectionately, occasionally kissing him tenderly. He nuzzled his face into her chest, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his sister's body.
But the more time passed, the more her fear began to grow. She feared she would never see her mother again. Her tears flowed freely again, silently dripping onto her cheeks, wettening the blankets below.
Aster, too, felt a sense of dread creeping up in his mind. Nivalis could get lost in the storm, freeze to death, or be attacked by wild beasts. These were all terrible possibilities. Moreover, without their mother, it seemed that their fate was sealed. They could either starve to death or perish in the cold when they ran out of firewood.
Time seemed to drag on endlessly. Minutes felt like hours. Hours felt like days. It moved incredibly slowly, making Silvia worry. When the sun finally began to set, Sivlia was absolutely terrified. Their mother always returned before sundown, always. And she still hasn't come back yet.
Her stomach growled loudly, reminding her how hungry she really was. It was too much to handle. Silvia's breathing quickened, and she started hyperventilating, gasping for air. She felt like she was suffocating like she couldn't breathe properly anymore. She began to panic, her eyes widening in terror.
"Mommy," she whispered desperately, her voice breaking. "Where are you...? Please... come back..." she begged.
Aster stared at Silvia with wide-open eyes, his little hands grasping her shirt tightly. He was just as afraid as she was. His watery golden irises shone brightly in the firelight, reflecting the dancing flames. His lips quivered slightly as he breathed in short, ragged breaths.
Then, Silvia stood up abruptly, startling Aster. She seemed to have regained her composure and was ready to do something. "I can't wait anymore," she announced as she gently placed her brother on the bed. "I have to try to call for her! Maybe she can't find her way back..." She quickly buttoned up her winter coat before heading toward the snow-covered entrance.
"MOMMY!" she yelled out loud, cupping her hands around her mouth. "MOM, WHERE ARE YOU?!" But there was no answer. Only the howling wind answered back, sending chills down Silvia's spine. She waited a few more moments before screaming again. "MOMMY, PLEASE COME BACK!"
She called and screamed as loud as she could until her voice was hoarse and her throat hurt.
Silvia stood at the entrance, her heart racing with anxiety as she waited for her mother to return. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, her eyes glued to the darkness outside, trying to make out any signs of movement. Aster watched her, chewing his bottom lip, his eyes following her every movement. Suddenly, a loud crunch of footsteps echoed in the darkness, causing both kids to freeze in anticipation.
"Mommy!?" Silvia called out hopefully, stepping out of the entrance slightly. She expected to see her mother's familiar shape, but it was something else. It was something that the little girl had only seen in her nightmares before, and it should have remained there.
A terrifying wolf suddenly appeared from the darkness, its eyes piercing through her soul. The animal drew its lips back, showing its sharp teeth. Its fur was covered in snow, and it slowly approached. It growled deeply, its breath steaming in the cold air.
Silvia's fear was so intense that she let out a blood-curdling scream, the loudest one she could ever make. She was so frightened that she couldn't control her bladder, and her entire body shook violently, with her knees nearly giving way under her.
Silvia's voice cracked as she screamed again, "GO AWAY!" But the beast only growled in response and lunged forward, snapping its jaws at Silvia's face. She shrieked in terror and stumbled back, barely dodging the beast's sharp fangs. She tripped over her feet and fell on her backside, desperately scrambling back inside the cave.
The wolf snarled and bared its teeth again. It seemed to be enjoying the terrified expression on Silvia's face and was slowly following her inside as if toying with his food before making a final move. On the other hand, the girl was terrified and screamed in horror, crawling away from the beast. Her heart thundered in her chest, pounding against her ribcage so hard that she thought it would break. Her blood ran cold as a wave of panic washed over her. Her legs trembled uncontrollably, refusing to obey her commands.