Chapter 245: I want to see her again, no matter what!
"What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I crying? Wasn't I always alone since I was a child, and I was used to it? What was so different about it this time? Get a grip, you pathetic coward!"
Asher couldn't understand why he was acting so pathetic, but he couldn't help feeling sad about the fact that all his memories about meeting his new family, becoming Asher Blake, and getting the love he had never felt before were mere hallucinations.
He closed his eyes and tried to block out everything, wishing that he could wake up from this nightmare, but it was impossible.
It wasn't long before the nurse noticed that Asher was awake and rushed to his side. She called out to him in a gentle tone as she checked his vitals on the monitor beside her.
"Hello there, young man. How are you feeling?"
"I don't feel any pain right now. How long have I been asleep?" Asher voiced out.
"Not much, just a few hours. You woke up earlier than expected. Can you tell me your name, please?"
"Asher Blake.... No, just Asher. I don't have a last name. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say."
Asher choked out, unable to find any other words that he wanted to express.
The nurse looked at him with sympathy and placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "Okay, then, Asher. Let me tell you something. You've been through quite an ordeal, and your injuries are pretty severe. Don't worry, though; we're doing our best to take care of you. But I suggest that you rest more and leave the talking until later.
That way, you can focus on recovering and regain your strength back as soon as possible. Is that okay?"
Asher nodded his head and agreed to the suggestion, but he couldn't help but feel anxious about everything that was going on. He still couldn't believe that he was here again. It was surreal and terrifying.
But he didn't know what else he could do except follow the instructions given to him by the nurse, so he remained silent as he lay in the bed.
He looked at the ceiling of the hospital room while thinking about everything that he had gone through as Asher Blake and wondered how they felt so real despite the fact that they were not.
It was like a dream that lingered in his mind even after waking up from it. But somehow, that dream left behind feelings of longing and sadness within him.
If this was real, then it meant that his life had come full circle again, and he was back to his miserable existence where nobody cared about him and no one had ever loved him.
So, he wondered what kind of cruel trick fate was playing on him by giving him false hopes like that before snatching them away from him, leaving him with nothing but emptiness in his heart and soul.
As Asher pondered on everything, he fell asleep without even realizing it, and he spent most of the time in the hospital sleeping or staring at the ceiling with nothing else occupying his mind.
A few days passed with Asher refusing to speak to anyone. The doctor visited him twice a day, but Asher's condition was not getting better. On the contrary, even though his injuries were almost healed, he was losing weight and looking paler as he spent most of his time lying in bed.
The nurse had tried to persuade him to eat something, but he refused to take even a single bite, claiming that his stomach hurt too much to allow him to do so. He couldn't bear to taste anything anyway, because all the food tasted like nothing anymore, as if it had no flavor or texture.
After a few more days, he was discharged from the hospital and doctors told that he should continue resting at home until his health improved.
This news didn't cheer him up one bit, though. If anything, it made him feel worse than ever, knowing that he would be alone in his apartment again with no one to talk to or keep him company.
But there was nothing else he could do other than go along with whatever fate had in store for him.
When he returned to his tiny apartment, Asher felt numb inside. He knew that he was alive, but he couldn't feel anything else. It was as if his emotions had disappeared along with the memories of a certain group of people who had accepted him.
There was nothing to hold onto anymore, nothing that could help him carry on with his life, and nothing that made him feel alive anymore.
"Is this it? Am I going to spend the rest of my life like this?"
Asher mumbled to himself as he lay on his bed, staring at the blank walls and thinking about what happened to him in his coma. He wished that he hadn't survived the attack and that he should have died instead of living in such a miserable state where he feels like nothing.
But that wish was soon rejected by his mind itself, saying that death was not the answer and that he must endure through this no matter what. It was like a voice inside his head, telling him that he must carry on with his life no matter what happened and that he mustn't give up no matter what.
Because it's what he's always done since he was a child and grew up alone. He was always on his own, struggling to survive every single day while having to deal with various problems along the way.
He always felt like giving up because things got too hard for him to handle. But whenever that happened, he kept on reminding himself that he needed to remain strong, no matter what. Because if he didn't, then who would take care of him? No one else would.
And death was not the answer.
Death was the end of everything.
How could anyone want that kind of ending when they haven't achieved anything in their lives?
And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake off those thoughts that kept repeating themselves over and over again. It was like an echo bouncing back and forth through his brain, echoing louder each time.
Then, all of a sudden, an image of a beautiful woman flashed through his mind. With long purple-black hair and amethyst eyes filled with love and warmth, and a smile that was both kind and seductive, it was as if he were hypnotized by her beauty.
But that vision vanished just as fast, leaving behind a painful void where his heart used to be. It was an empty feeling that made him feel hollow and alone once more.
"I want to see her again, no matter what!" The very next moment, he got up from his bed and ran out of the house, leaving everything behind without any hesitation.
He knew where she was, and he would do whatever it took to see her again, even if it meant putting his own life on the line.