Esa Promesa

Does a king’s character really matter when it comes to ruling a nation?

Once, I didn’t think so. The king I served, objectively and subjectively speaking, had a personality so atrocious that at times I wanted to yank his brain out just to see what on earth was going on in his head.

And yet, this lunatic became the most kingly of all the monarchs in the history of the Emar Kingdom. The people even called him a ‘sage king,’ crediting him for ushering in an unprecedented golden era for the nation.

In public, he played the role of an ideal king, a compassionate, stern leader devoted to the country. He excelled at statecraft.

In private, however, he occasionally committed outrageous acts, such as accusing someone of lèse-majesté for merely making eye contact with him the wrong way, then proceeding to separate their head from their body. Despite these acts, he was such a good king for the ‘people’ and the ‘country’ that his behavior didn’t stir much controversy.

For that reason, I used to believe that a king’s personal character didn’t matter, as long as he did his job well.

That belief had been unshaken for the 15 years I’d spent as his personal bodyguard and advisor.

Perhaps it was because he ascended the throne at the tender age of 10. Even as the cheeky brat who once made me, his newly appointed advisor, doubt my decision to take the post, he refrained from separating my head from my body. Instead, he settled for showering me with endless nagging and sharp-tongued remarks, a curious kind of affection, perhaps.

Still, since he ruled the nation flawlessly and was an ideal king in every way, I thought his character was irrelevant. As long as he did his job well, nothing else mattered.

That was my belief.

Up until just now.

A king’s character is, in fact, extremely important.

“Why aren’t you leaving? Get out.”

The king, without even glancing in my direction, lazily pointed at the door with that ridiculously handsome face of his. Judging by his expression, it was clear he was silently mocking me: Oh, so you’re so old now you can’t even find the door. The thought made my blood boil, but after enduring countless provocations like this, I had grown immune or so I thought.

Still, my insides churned and twisted to the point where I felt an overwhelming urge to grab that handsome bastard by the hair and shake some sense into him. I swallowed my words and bit back the impulse, forcing myself to stay silent for a moment.

My uncharacteristic quietness must have caught his attention. For the first time, the king’s gaze shifted from the document in his hand to me.

I moved immediately. Bending down, I gathered the remnants of my resignation letter, shredded like an old flyer and scattered across the office floor and hurled them onto the stack of papers he was reviewing.

The fragments of thin paper fluttered down inelegantly, but my sudden action seemed to irritate him. The king or rather, that damn bastard frowned deeply.

In the past, I might have flinched under his glare and looked away. But I was no longer a man with anything to fear. Instead, I brazenly lifted my chin and stared at him down, as if daring him to try something.

“Why did you tear up my resignation letter? Approve it.”

“Have you gone senile?”

It was astounding how the king, even now, spoke in such a casual, irreverent tone. I had corrected him countless times, from when he was a boy until now, but it seemed all my efforts had been in vain. I considered commenting on it, but then I remembered that if he just approved my resignation, I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. So, I held back and replied instead.

“I’m not senile, Your Majesty. Though I did suspect you’d rip it up. Still, the fact that you actually went through with it, your actions are so predictable it’s almost impressive.”

I pulled out a fresh resignation letter from my inner pocket as I spoke. Knowing the king’s incorrigible temperament, I had come prepared with 20 identical copies of the same resignation letter.

Based on his personality, I predicted he would tear up at least 15 out of sheer spite and ignore the 19th out of pure annoyance. That would be my window of opportunity.

The moment I placed a new resignation letter before him, as expected, he tore it up without a second thought. Watching the letter I had poured so much effort into writing get ripped to shreds over and over was infuriating, but I held my temper and continued to place new copies in front of him.

By the third letter, rip. By the fourth, tear, rip. His movements were so rhythmic it almost looked like he was doing some sort of packaging work. Each time he tore up a letter, I calmly placed another in front of him, repeating the cycle.

“Ha….”

By the 19th letter, as I had foreseen, he began to rip it but then stopped halfway, looking up at me with an incredulous expression. The letter was partially torn, but not enough to render it completely unusable. Still, a damaged document couldn’t receive the royal seal, so I cheerfully pulled out the final copy and placed it neatly in front of him.

“Please approve it.” 

“Are you joking right now? Do you really think ‘personal reasons’ are enough to justify this resignation? I don’t care what those reasons are, but do you think you can just throw it at me without warning and expect me to sign off? If you were some ordinary palace official, I wouldn’t even look at this. But you? You’re my advisor. You know too much.”

“So you’re refusing my resignation to ensure confidentiality?”

“That’s right. And why leave? Do I pay you too little? Are the benefits bad? I’ve even stopped making you work overtime these days. If anything, you’re the one nagging me constantly, not the other way around.”

He wasn’t wrong. As temperamental as the king could be, he had always recognized the effort I put into my role. My salary and benefits were far better than those of the other palace staff.

“What’s this so-called personal reason anyway? Is it really so important that you need to leave? Just stay. I can’t replace you easily. And do you know why I’ve let you mouth off to me so recklessly all these years without punishing you? It’s because I value you. You’re irreplaceable.”

His words made it clear no matter what I said or did, this bastard had no intention of approving my resignation.

I couldn’t completely blame him. He was right; I knew too much. I had been by his side since he was a child, whether I liked it or not, and had inevitably learned things that could be damaging not just to the king but to the entire Emar Kingdom.

Even if I swore I had no intention of selling those secrets or signed a non-disclosure agreement, the king would never believe me.

“If you really need to rest, take a leave of absence for a month or six months if you must. I’ll allow it. But I’ll assign guards to keep an eye on you.”

The fact that the king didn’t trust me was something I had always known, but hearing him say it out loud stirred an unexpected mix of emotions in me. Instead of anger, I felt a faint sadness, and oddly enough, a sense of relief.

Though I’d written ‘personal reasons’ as the cause on my resignation letter, I now felt certain that telling the king the real reason wouldn’t hurt me. Fine. I’ll tell him.

“I’ve been told I won’t live for even half a year.”

The king’s face twisted into an uncomprehending expression, as though he didn’t immediately grasp my words. Seeing his confusion, I realized that what I had said was too abrupt.

“My heart is failing. I’ve been enduring the pain because it was manageable, but recently it’s gotten worse. I consulted the palace physician, and they diagnosed it as an incurable disease. If I’m lucky, I have six months. If not, I might not even last three. So, while I can still move, I want to return to my hometown and spend my remaining time there.”

As I continued, I noticed the expression on the king’s face gradually vanish. By the end, his features were completely blank. It wasn’t a shocked expression, nor anything else I might have feared just pure, emotionless neutrality. Oddly, that made me feel relieved. His calm, detached face made me wonder if I had been unnecessarily emotional in my explanation.

“So, please accept my resignation. It’s not as if I have long to live.”

“…The diagnosis?”

“Here.”

Though I hadn’t planned on telling him, I had anticipated his doubts and brought the medical report with me. I handed it over, and the king snatched it from my hand so quickly and forcefully that if I had hesitated for even a second, it would have been ripped in two.

He began scanning the document with his sharp eyes.

The report bore the seal of the palace physician, whom the king had appointed to serve the court. Since it wasn’t fabricated, I waited quietly, holding my breath, to let him read through the diagnosis at his own pace.

After all, my condition was real. My body was, without question, dying. The physician’s evaluation had been accurate, I wouldn’t last more than six months. I had long accepted it.

It was, after all, the nature of my existence.

I might look human, but I was not. Cursed by a witch, I was doomed to die on a specific day at the age of 35, always from the same illness, only to be reborn in the body of a child. Could such a being even be considered human?

The only reason I was able to serve as this tyrant’s advisor and bodyguard was because of my unique condition. I had already lived through nine cycles of this strange, cursed existence, starting anew in different places each time.

At first, I had despaired, but from my second life onward, I began wandering from one place to another, experiencing a variety of environments. That journey had taught me to face my death with calm acceptance.

This king no longer needed me. He could govern the kingdom perfectly well without my guidance. Surely, even if he pitied my terminal state after seeing the medical report, he wouldn’t stoop to keeping me tied here like some beastly brute.

He had undoubtedly finished reading the document by now, but the king’s gaze remained fixed on the report. As I waited for him to speak, I began to mentally map out my plans for the future.

Thanks to my role as the king’s advisor and bodyguard, I had earned a significant amount of money during this life. Unlike before, when I often started my new lives penniless and starving, I wouldn’t have to struggle from the beginning this time.

For my tenth life, I planned to settle in the northern lands, where it was said there was a castle made of ice. I had already done my research and made preparations, so now all that remained was to leave this stifling palace behind. I just had to endure this last conversation and get his approval. Then I could finally move on.