Ero Dungeon Online

The health bar of the final boss’s health was just about to hit zero when it began to prepare its final attack.

It was an attack that me and the raid group were more than familiar with. It was an attack with an amazing animation that resulted in the boss summoning unavoidable swords that would impale everybody in the raid, instantly dropping their health to zero regardless of whatever it might have been at before. No amount of health, buffs, healing shields – nothing could protect against it.

In other words, the final DPS check of the battle begun.

We cleared all the mechanics up to that perfectly. All that was left was to kill the boss before it could kill us.

That job primarily fell onto the DPS classes, but us tanks and the healers had our own damaging skills and spells to use to maximize the raid’s total damage.

Though, my mana was already so low that I couldn’t cast any of my good damaging spells. All I could do was swing my sword, bash with my shield, and use a holy enchantment to boost the damage of my sword for a few seconds.

“Come on! We’ve got this!” I shouted.

Only seven seconds remained before the boss finished its skill activation.

Less than half of a percent of health remained on its health bar.

Either we were going to kill it within the next seven seconds, or we were going to wipe at the final challenge… for the thirty-ninth time.

It took over a month just to be able to reliably reach the final DPS check. Now, we were the closest yet to actually meeting that check and conquering the raid.

Everybody in the raid was shouting.

“Come on!”

“We can do it!”

“Burn it! Burn it!”

“Fucking die already!”

“Kill it!”

The boss’s health bar wasn’t even shrinking anymore. It was already so empty that, to decrease even a tiny bit more, would mean death. It already looked like there wasn’t any red left in it without looking closely.

So close.

Everybody’s skills were activated the instant that they were off of their cooldowns. Pre-battle buffs boosted all of their abilities and attributes beyond what they would normally be. Our gear was the best that it could possibly be without beating this boss and opening up the next raid, and that raid would require farming this boss for better gear before even being able to take on its first boss.

For a game infamous for its degenerate player base, events, and mechanics… it had some of the most hardcore raiding out of all VRMMORPGS on the market. Sure, the majority of the players—the casuals—played for sex.

But not the raiders.

The raiders played for the endgame raids and the sex.

Two seconds left.

Everybody’s shouts mixed together. Like a rising chorus, the shouts became louder, and louder, and louder, until…

The boss lowered its arms and fell to its knees.

We defeated it.

The death animation begun as the boss gave a speech for all of the lore-loving roleplayers, but nobody could understand what was being said.

We were all too busy cheering and shouting over one another.

“Fuck yeah!”

“We fucking did it!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Finally!”

“Shit, my recording software froze during it!”

“Who’s ready to do that fifty more times?!”

All I could do was smile and wipe the simulated sweat off of my head.

Thankfully, having my helmet optionally hidden meant that I wouldn’t need to take it off to do that.

I looked all around the room to see what shape everybody was in.

I would have thought that we all needed to be alive in order to beat that final check, but there was one member in particular who was lying facedown with his spear on the ground next to him.

“Thanks for tanking the floor for us,” I teased him.

He couldn’t actually say anything in return seeing as how he was dead, but a text message did pop up from in the party chat.

>Best Lancer: hey, Damian, fuck you

“Anytime. Want to go a round once we get back to the guild house?”

>Best Lancer: I hate you so much sometimes

“Only sometimes? But you know how much I love your hate. It turns me on.”

>Best Lancer: die

“As much as I’d love to, I don’t want to take your job.”

>Best Lancer: I hope that RNGesus curses your rolls for every game you ever play

“Keep going. I’m almost there.”

“I see that you are teasing the floor’s tank again,” another one of the raid members joined in with that sultry voice of hers that I have always loved so much.

>Best Lancer: I hate you both

“Please, share the sadism for Damian. He is the masochist,” she teased.

“Hey, I’m a switch. I just can’t help but have a fluttering heart whenever he insults me,” I replied.

Despite having the sultry voice of a mature woman – a voice that sounded as if it was created for the sole purpose of being able to seduce any living being, it did not come from a human.

It came from an arachne – a large race with a humanoid torso and arms, but said torso was connected to the body of a spider from the hips below. The spider half of her body was not the only large part of her. Out of all the girls, or men playing as girls, in the raid group of twenty-five, she had the biggest tits of them all. Each one was the size of her head if not bigger, and the glamour option that she chose for her armor made all of her body very much visible for us to appreciate. Though, I appreciated it more than all others.

Nobody else could quite appreciate the legs that she had.

Sure, she had eight legs that were smooth, black, and as sharp as spears, but I was a leg man.

A true leg man loves all legs.

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Back to being on show, though, what she actually wore was vastly different from what she looked like she was wearing. She actually had high-tier leather armor equipped all over her body, but it looked like all she was wearing was a white binding that barely held her breasts to her chest and a sash around her waist that covered her most private areas. Other than that, the only other thing covering any of her body was the long, red hair hanging straight down behind her.

Well, there were also the daggers sheathed at her sides.

Having at least one arachne rogue in a raiding group was part of the meta. The racial bonus they got to all poison attacks combined with a rogue specialized into status effects meant that they could apply incredible, if not slightly broken, debuffs to their targets.

That included bosses.

Unfortunately, those debuffs didn’t stack, so only one was really needed.

And that was where Thera came in.

“What do you plan on doing now, Damian?” Thera, my favorite spider, asked me.

“Just what I’ve been talking about doing,” I answered.

>Best Lancer: good, you’ll finally go away

“Nope. You’ll have to deal with me for a bit longer. I would be an asshole to leave the group right after getting what I want.”

>Best Lancer: just go start your dungeon and leave me alone

“I could never leave you. Besides, I’ll only be able to do so much with the dungeon at first. I’ve got to get it up and running, collect monsters, probably grind some resources – I’ll have more than enough time to keep bosses busy so that you can focus on the floor.”

“It is not nice to excite him so much when he is incapable of doing anything about his arousal,” Thera joined in again.

>Best Lancer: I seriously hate you both. And why hasn’t anybody rezzed me yet???

I looked at the healers who were either too busy enjoying us teasing him or taking breathers from that healing-intensive battle still.

Of course, being a paladin, I could have revived him myself.

But being able to revive him made teasing him about being dead even better.

Fortunately for him, I wasn’t that mean. I knew when to stop fooling around. So, I knelt down next to him, held out my right hand between us, and said, “Father’s Gift.”

All of the mana that just finished regenerating was instantly drained as a brilliant light washed over the lancer’s corpse.

A second later and the once-dead floor-tank stood up.

“Thanks, bastard,” Jonathon, the lancer, said.

I faked a moan upon being called a bastard, causing Jonathon to stomp away with his edgy armor covered in spikes.

Teasing him was way too easy.

He knew it was all in good fun, though. I did make sure one day to tell him that if I ever made him genuinely uncomfortable then to let me know and I’d make sure to adjust my behavior around him.

He told me that it was all good but to never let anybody know that.

It was obvious to everybody anyways.

“On a more serious note,” Thera said, “how long was he dead for?”

“I have no idea,” I answered. “I looked over after the fight and was just dead.”

“Typical. Now I understand why I heard the healers panicking at the end.”

“He must have tunnel visioned the boss and got hit by an AoE.”

We shrugged and moved on to our rewards.

I still hadn’t looked at the achievement window that was floating in front of me the whole time.

I really hated those windows. They took away from all the game’s immersion. Then again, I never really cared about being immersed in the first place.

My real reason for hating them was when they got in the way of appreciating the finer things in life.

Like looking at Thera’s body.

As for the content of the window, I got the “Diver of the First Dungeon” achievement worth one hundred points, a title, and a bonus reward.

Points? Meh.

Title? Only good for showoffs.

Bonus reward?

Yes.

Fuck yes.

Finally, after going through the pain-in-the-ass quest chain that took me months to go through, I had the final item required in order to finally start my own dungeon in this virtual world.

I could finally do what I had always wanted to.

The whole reason for starting the game.

I was going to make my own dungeon… and use it specifically for sex.

Lots of kinky sex.

Including monsters.

I was never much of a gamer. I was up to date with gaming news because the circles I was involved in could never not talk about them, but actually playing games took away from the finer things in life.

Like porn, hentai, and sex.

But unfortunately, my favorite type of entertainment was monster sex. Seeing cute girls consensually giving themselves to monsters was beyond perfection and something that could never be beat.

Too bad that it was an acquired taste that not many were into. Most of the people into girls having sex with monsters also liked seeing those girls less-than-consensually taken by the monsters.

They did not understand that consensual sex between girl and monster was the pinnacle of civilization.

If only the #NotAllTentacles and #NotAllOrcs hashtags grew larger than they did.

But that didn’t matter anymore.

All that mattered was that I could finally create my own dungeon.

And it would be a dungeon used specifically for sex.

An erotic dungeon.

Sure, those already existed in the game, but I was going to create an erotic, consensual dungeon.

I learned how to raid, I studied meta guides, I watched recorded clearing videos, I got into an endgame raiding group that was ranked the seventh best in the world, all so that I could have a consensual, erotic monster dungeon.

I had fun getting to that point, but that fun would be trivial compared to the fun I planned on having with my dungeon.

I was so happy that I didn’t even bother rolling on any of the gear dropped from the raid’s final chest.

All I could think about was finally starting my dungeon.

“You have such an expressive face. One can tell exactly what is on your mind,” Thera told me.

I looked up at her six eyes, two short for how many spiders usually had, and smiled.

“You agreed to help me out, remember?” I asked.

“You are lucky that I have nothing better to do,” she answered.

“Just admit that you’d be bored without me around at the guild house.”

“Alright. I would be bored without you around at the guild house.”

“Huh. You actually admitted it.”

“You should know by now that I prefer honesty at all times.”

“So, when are we going to have sex?”

“Never.”

“How am I supposed to believe that you prefer honesty when you tell a blatant lie like that?”

“Is this how you cope with rejection?”

“Your words hurt me, Thera.”

“I know, darling.”

“Fuck, I love hearing you say that. I need to win another bet so that you have to call me that some more.”

“I told you before that I would not be making any more bets with you. You are suspiciously good at winning them no matter the chances. However, since I do like how ‘darling’ sounds, I do not mind giving you service every now and then.”

“And you say that we’re never going to have sex. Hah.”

“I take that back. I will never give you that service again,” she said, crossing her arms and looking away.

“No please. I need it.”

She turned to look at me and smiled one of those sadistic smiles that I have always loved from her. “We will see. Darling.”

“You’re the best spider.”