Chapter 18 – Only For You
‘So you won’t get hurt yet, as we get closer to the hole.’
…
The way she said it…
The hole seemed to be causing the black flames..?
I acknowledged my hopeless situation and decided to just follow my Senior.
Based on her reaction from earlier…
It seems that she doesn’t harbor any ill intentions towards me.
‘Nononono… My first junior..!
Are you okay?!’
That miserable face… As if she were losing someone precious to her.
What exactly was my value towards her..?
…
As we continued walking, I looked at the chain in her hand.
‘You’re marked by me…’
Something about being marked…
My eyes followed down from the chain in her hand… To the collar on my neck.
Is it this collar..?
I recalled the black flames that burnt me from earlier.
Shiver.
Perhaps the reason she put this collar on me… Was because she was protecting me from getting hurt by those flames.
Seems like, as we got nearer to the hole…
My body would get burnt by black flames.
But…
Why are we going to hole in the first place..?
I don’t understand.
I looked at my Senior’s face.
Should I…
Ask her..?
…
I pulled on the helm of her semi-transparent black dress.
Tug. Tug.
“Huah?!”, she excitedly pulled back.
Ahh…
Seriously, I cannot expect any normal reactions from her.
Also… It seems that she is only untouchable if there are no violent intentions.
I asked her,
“Senior, can I ask you something..?”
Although we were still walking, she looked back at me.
Then I noticed that she tightened her grip on the chain.
Grip.
Ah…
It seems like she thinks I’m deceiving her again…
“Ah… No, I’m not trying to make you let go of the chain again.
I’ve decided to trust you.
Based on what you did earlier, it seems as though you’re protecting me.
I think you’re a good person.”
Let’s just try to get a grasp of the current situation.
“But…
Why are we heading towards the hole?”
…
“The Rite of Passage… Of becoming an employee of the store.”
… What..?
The store
again…And apparently, I’m an employee of the store now..?
That Storage Room trial from earlier…
The Monster from earlier told me that I wasn’t the only person who died in that room.
Perhaps my Senior’s trial was a way of filtering out people, and accessing their capabilities.
Then recruiting them for ‘the store’.
…
What kind of supernatural plot was that?!
Seriously… There’s too many mysteries surrounding my circumstances.
I remember that the boy mentioned something about the store filtering what he could say to me.
And… He verified that the store wasn’t a supernatural entity.
Just what exactly is going on..?
I dug further, “So… If you’re my Senior, and I’m your Junior…
Are you an Employee of this ‘store’ as well?”
She paused.
“Yes… It’s the reason for why I am your Senior.”, she answered.
Ah, that’s why she called me ‘her junior’ earlier.
I assume she experienced something similar to me as well.
If that’s the case…
Probably... It's safe for me to trust her…
Especially since she intends to protect me.
I mean, it seems reasonable for a Senior to guide their peers right..?
But…
‘My first… And only junior…
My junior…
...
My Yohlan.’
Tremble.
She was… Definitely not normal.
Back then, when she was on top of me, her eyes were filled with obsession.
Just what was going on in her head?
Her feelings towards me…
Was it love?
It didn’t seem reminiscent of Delilah’s behavior…
Perhaps…
She was possessive of me…
Let’s just ask her,
“Senior, do you like me?”
…
She stopped walking entirely.
Then stared at me.
Once again… Those glowing dark blue eyes stared down at me.
This feeling…
Just like my confrontation with the monster…
Fear.
“Yohlan…
How do you feel about living?”
…
Living..?
“Well… I’m sure a majority of people would enjoy living rather than dying…”
“Then tell me… Why do you enjoy living?”
…
Jesus christ… Was she trying to give me an existential crisis?
“Maybe… The little things?
Such as admiring the beauty in nature…
Having a fun time with friends…
And…”
Delilah popped up in the back of my mind.
“Finding… Love.”
…
She continued with another question, “Do you enjoy everything in life?”
Answering her once again, “Well, not everything.
There’s definitely some bad aspects of life.
Such as war, murder, rape, torture… And much more.
But…
I’d like to argue that we should focus on the positive things, rather than being depressed about the existence of the bad things in life.”
My Senior gave me a warm smile.
“Yes, just like you…
I also want to focus on the positive things…”
Woah… What a beautiful smile.
It seems as though she isn’t entirely insane.
This interaction was going pretty well-
“To you… It’s the little things…
...
For me, it’s you.”
…
What..?
“You are my reason for living.”
Shudder.
“For me, there doesn’t need to be love…
Nor friends…
Or even beauty in life.”
The things she’s saying…
“As long as you’re alive… I will continue to exist…
For…
And only for you.”
I’m… Speechless.
“It’s just as simple as that.”
…
What the fuck..?