Emmy And Me

Mom and Tiffany left two mornings after Christmas, and Grace later in the same day. We planned to stay a couple more days, then celebrate New Year's Eve at the club in San Jose.

During the rest of our time in New York Emmy was perfectly happy relaxing at home, making what seemed to me to be an intentional decision to avoid dealing with any Night Children business. In contrast, Jeremy and I worked out at the compound every morning. It was important for both of us to be involved in the goings-on, after all.

Vivian, Amy, Jassie and Michael came over for dinner our last night in town. Vivian was suitably impressed by the house, oohing and ahhing at the appropriate moments. Little Amy loved the Haring original on the third floor landing (she said it made her happy, and I didn't have the heart to tell her the artist died of a terrible disease), and of course, the antique elevator. Jassie, on the other hand, immediately fell in love with the room that Mom had spent so much time turning into a real library.

"I could live here," Jassie exclaimed, flopping down into the big leather chair, a book that she'd just pulled from the shelf in her hands. "This is a first printing of Isabel Allende's House Of The Spirits! I love this book!"

"You can take it if you wish," Emmy offered.

"Thanks, but I already have a copy," Jassie said, getting distracted playing with the little glass beads dangling from the lampshade just to the side. "Seriously, this is my favorite part of the house."

"Look, Amy!" Vivian said, pulling a beat-up blue hardcover off one of the shelves. "Winnie The Pooh!"

"Winnie ther Pooh!" Amy corrected very seriously, taking the book from her mom. The two sat down on the couch to look through the well-worn book, lost to the outside world. Michael sat down next to Amy, gently taking the book from Amy in turn. He opened it to somewhere in the middle and began to read in a classic English accent, which sounded pitch-perfect to me. Jassie set down the book she'd been leafing through to listen to her dad read, a sweet smile on her inky black face.

Emmy and I watched for a few minutes before silently retreating up to the parlor until dinner was ready, leaving the newly-formed little family to their own company.

"I do think that Michael is very good for Amy and Vivian," Emmy said as I poured us some wine. "He seems to be a very attentive father figure for Amy, and she adores him."

"Yeah, I think so, too," I agreed. "From what Vivian told me, Amy's father was basically uninvolved, so for Michael to care so much is a very positive change."

"It amazes me how life can hinge upon what seem to be simple strokes of luck," Emmy said leaning against me on the sofa facing the fire. "We are like particles, bouncing randomly against each other until one time we somehow form a bond. Sometimes the bonds are strong, and sometimes they are not. The fact that they even happen at all amazes me."

"I'm like glue- I'm stuck on you," I said, earning a little laugh as I nuzzled Emmy's hair, enjoying the subtle jasmine scent. We didn't really talk much after that, just cuddling and sipping our wine, lost in our own thoughts until Luisa came to tell us dinner was ready.

Luisa and Jeremy broiled some steaks for dinner, with roasted baby potatoes and a beautiful watercress salad. The extra guests gave us the excuse to eat in the formal dining room for a change, rather than in the kitchen itself or the sun room. If Vivian was surprised that Jeremy and Luisa ate dinner with us, she didn't mention it.

The conversation was light and the food good, making the evening pass quickly and pleasantly. By the time Michael and his family left, it was clear that Vivian and little Amy were feeling as if we were all friends.

"Leah," Emmy said as I toweled her off after our bath, "I enjoyed tonight very much. It was nice to have guests over. I feel very fortunate that we can do that. I wish we could have had the housewarming party in London that we'd discussed."

"We still can," I said. "Maybe this summer we can spend more time there, if timing allows for it."

"March in Cartagena, June in London? How very international of us!" Emmy laughed, her mood light.

"I'm not sure if we really count as 'jet set' until we actually have our own jet, though," I said.

"I know that you want one," Emmy teased. "Maybe it is time for us to consider it?"

"I'm not sure the numbers add up," I said. "But maybe if we really are going to bounce around a lot it might."

"I will admit that I have no idea of the economics of private jet ownership," Emmy said. "But I can easily imagine that one would need to fly quite a bit for it to make economic sense."

"From what I've read, you need to fly about three hundred hours a year to rationalize the cost as compared to charter. That's thirty round trips from Los Angeles to New York. Each trip to London uses up one of those rounds trips, if you understand what I mean, right? A trip to Cartagena is roughly similar from LA, too. So if we flew to Cartagena and London five times a year each then it's just a trip to New York every two to three weeks and we've hit that threshold," I explained.

"I think I followed what you meant," Emmy said, her laugh bright. "If I understand it, us flying together only counts as one trip, right?"

"Well, no, in some ways it doesn't. Yes, because the plane hours are important, but if we're comparing it to charter or executive, then we have to buy separate tickets for everyone flying with us," I said.

"So your flight to Japan counted as three round trips for the two of us? Or… am I confusing myself?" Emmy asked.

"No, you're right. If we're flying with an entourage it tilts the numbers in favor of ownership," I admitted.

"And that seems more and more likely with time," Emmy said, pleased that she'd made her point.

"Yeah, it does," I conceded.

"Let us imagine a flight from Los Angeles to London next year," Emmy said, turning a bit more serious. "It would be you, me, our baby, Jeremy, and Cecilia. Perhaps Marie-Anne as well. If I understood your math, that would add up to one hundred and twenty passenger-hours, correct? If we did that three times we would more than cross your threshold."

"Yes… That's true. If we're bringing a bunch of others with us, then buying individual plane tickets gets expensive quickly. Add in the convenience factor of simply being able to go whenever we wanted, and it starts to seem really attractive," I admitted.

"Perhaps you should take a serious look at the numbers," Emmy said.

All in all, the trip to New York had been both productive and pleasant. Of course, the most important event, as far as I was concerned, was Emmy finally feeling ready to move forward again with our own plans to start a family, but I wasn't going to make too big a deal out of that. I was going to support her, of course, and encourage her, but there was no way I wanted it to seem as if I was applying any sort of pressure, either. Her body and her feelings were what mattered. My feelings were simple- I wanted what she wanted.

Jeremy hadn't ever been to the club in San Jose before, so we needed to get him an appropriate outfit. Emmy was perfectly happy to take that task on, and I was happy to leave her to it. She was the master of that sort of thing, after all. When Jeremy proudly modeled the high-waisted pinstripe suit Emmy had gotten for him, I thought it was perfect. He looked every bit the part of a 1930s Chicago mobster enforcer. Sharp-dressed, but intimidating at the same time.

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Security had never been a problem at the club and I certainly didn't think that was going to change, but as I'd pointed out to Emmy a while back, simply having an obvious bodyguard automatically filtered out a whole lot of problems before they could even start, so if Emmy was going out in public, so was Jeremy.

"Tony," I said to the club's doorman and bouncer when he opened the door for us. "This is Tiny."

"Awesome!" Tony said, looking Jeremy up and down. "Good to meet you, my man!" he said, reaching out a hand, which Jeremy shook.

"The pleasure is mine," Jeremy replied.

I gave Jeremy the signal that it was fine to talk shop as Emmy and I worked the room, greeting the regulars and meeting their guests. When we finally sat down at our table our drinks were already waiting for us. I gave Theo behind the bar a pleased nod, and he responded with a smile.

Emmy and I ate dinner slowly, with a nearly constant stream of people coming to the table to say hello. Lauren and Andrej came by, but said that unless Emmy was singing that night they were going to go to an office party later on.

"No, no singing for me tonight," Emmy apologized. "I am merely here as a patron."

"That's too bad," Lauren said. "The night you and the guys played was the best New Year's Eve I've ever had."

"We had a lot of fun, too," Emmy replied. "But this year we all had our own things to do."

"That happens sometimes," Lauren agreed.

New Year's Day was a Tuesday, so I went in to the San Jose office to put in a few hours of work. I didn't have any meetings scheduled or anything like that, but I wanted to get in some face time to let all the local Heads know that I still existed. I had a really good talk with Pete Ayres, my VC Head, about me working remotely. As far as he was concerned it was not an issue, as long as I could come in every so often for the important meetings- basically what I'd been doing already. We more or less agreed that it wasn't really possible to divorce myself from physical meetings entirely, but there was no realistic need for any more than one day a month in the office. We also talked about getting a VC office going in New York, and he said that he'd do some research and maybe make some inquiries to see if any possible candidates to run the new office might be interested. I'd made it clear that I only ever wanted to promote from within, so that was a real consideration.

In the tech venture capital scene the Bay Area was the center of the world, so moving to NYC would be a step down in one way, but on the other hand running an office would be a step up for anybody but Pete himself, so maybe it'd balance out.

On the flight back to Los Angeles Emmy surprised me by asked me about work, since she rarely brought the topic up. I told her that things were going smoothly and my Heads all seemed to be doing just fine with their departments.

"Does this mean you will be able to spend more time at home?" Emmy asked hopefully.

"It does," I agreed. "I can spend as much time as you need me to be home."

"When I get pregnant this time I do not want to do much- certainly not tour again," Emmy said with a wry smile.

"There's no reason to do much of anything," I replied. "You have your studio literally a hundred feet from our living room there in Los Angeles, or three floors up in Manhattan. We haven't done anything as far as that goes with the house in Cartagena-"

"The new house in Colombia!" Emmy exclaimed, interrupting me. "I had forgotten! Can we go there?"

"Sure," I said, thinking about how my January looked. "I thought you were going to help Jackson with his solo album?"

"Oh," Emmy said, her shoulders drooping. "Yes, that is true. I did promise him that I would help."

"How about this?" I suggested. "How about we plan on heading down there next month? Maybe the second half of February? That way you can put in six solid weeks on the recording."

"What things do you have coming up?" Emmy asked.

"The race cars are going to all get delivered this month, but not until the middle of the month at the earliest," I said, thinking about it.

"Race cars?"

"Yeah, Maddie's Porsche, my new BMW and James' GT-R, but I'm not handling James' car. That's being delivered in Oakland. The Porsche is coming to Hollywood, and the BMW to Temecula," I explained. "The Track Club guys are going to grab the Porsche almost immediately to set it up for Maddie, since she needs as much seat time as possible before her season starts in April. As soon as we have the car I'm going to book some serious track time for her to get used to the thing. It's going to be one Hell of a change for her."

"That will likely be early February?" Emmy asked.

"Well, yeah, but it's not as If I need to be there for it. I mean, sure, I want to see her on the track and all, but I'm not actually needed."

"But you would like to be," Emmy said, sure she was right.

"I would," I confessed.

"Her first race will be in April? Where will it be?"

"Barber in Birmingham, Alabama," I said. "The races are all in the Midwest or East Coast except for Laguna Seca in Monterey in September."

"How many are you planning on attending?" Emmy asked.

"At least the first one, but really, as many as I can manage," I said. "I know James is planning on going to Barber and Watkins Glen in Upstate New York, and of course Laguna…"

All this talk about Madison's racing and plans for the coming calendar year naturally segued into discussions of when Emmy might get pregnant and what that would do to our timing. Of course that would alter any and all of our other plans, so everything was up in the air for now.

"But a couple of weeks in Cartagena would do us good," I said.

"If I am not undergoing treatments of one sort or another," Emmy cautioned.

"Well, of course that takes precedence over anything else," I agreed.

The next few weeks were uneventful. We resumed our Wednesday night dinners, which really helped Emmy's mood in general. She enjoyed having friends over, and I must admit, so did I.

Emmy and the boys got to work on Jackson's solo album, and I spent my mornings at Clancy's Gym, then work at the office. It was a good return to normalcy for both of us, and in its way quite relaxing. Emmy's mood seemed to be improving little by little, and I was very, very happy to see it. Of course we would both think of Angela every now and then and I was sure that would happen for the rest of our lives, but her loss wasn't center stage in our minds all that often.

One of the highlights of that period was watching the Rams beat the Dallas Cowboys in the divisional playoffs. We had seats in the owner's box for the game, but honestly, I would have rather been in the stands.

With the win the Rams had two weeks off before the conference championship, but that didn't mean that Andy got to rest and relax. Poor Jenna was practically a widow with all the preparations for the upcoming game, so she spent a lot of time over at our house, which neither Emmy or I minded at all. In fact, Jenna came out driving with me the Saturday after the playoff win.

"Andy's at the training center all day," she said when she asked if she could ride with me. "Angie used to talk about your drives- can we take the Porsche?"

None of the guys batted an eye when I showed up with Jenna in the Spyder's passenger seat. Jimmy was the only one of the guys who didn't know who she was, but when I introduced her and mentioned that she'd been Angela's best friend he immediately shut down any inappropriate jokes he might have made, to my relief.

Since it was Geoff's turn to lead out, it was a fairly mellow day- at least by the 918's standards. Jenna found it exciting enough, though. At lunch in that Italian restaurant Geoff liked, Jenna asked if we always drove that crazy.

"I do not think that word means what you think it does," Stein said. "Today was nice and relaxed."

"If you want crazy, you need to do a ride-along at one of Leah's track days," Teddy Bear said. "But you'll need to dye your hair afterwards, because riding with her will turn it white."

"Stephanie survived it just fine," I objected. "I'm pretty sure Jenna would, too."

"Pretty sure?" Jenna asked, wide-eyed.

"Mostly sure?" I hazarded, getting a laugh from the guys at the table.

"Angie said this car was amazing," Jenna said on the drive back to the house after lunch. "But I kinda think she undersold it. This is without a doubt the nicest, most incredible car I've ever seen, much less sat in."

"It is a very nice car," I agreed.

"But it's not your favorite?" Jenna asked, picking up on some subtle cue.

"No, it isn't," I admitted. "Don't get me wrong- I do like it, and I'm happy I have it, but most of the time when I want to get out to play it isn't the one I take."

"Why not? If I had a car like this I'd never drive anything else!" Jenna protested.

"The main reason is that it makes drives like today's too easy. What we did today is so far from this car's limits that there was never any real thrill, I guess," I said with a shrug. "A second reason is that if I drive this Porsche all the time, then it's no longer special."

"I guess," Jenna said, sounding unconvinced. Then, changing the topic, she asked, "What was Andy like as a little kid?"

"Oh, Jeeze," I groaned. "You know we were in third grade when we first got to know each other, right? How much do you remember about third grade?" I asked. "I mean, I remember him as a skinny, kinda shy kid at first, but by the time we got to… fifth grade, maybe? He had plenty of friends."

"You two still hung out, though, right?"

"Yeah, we did. I don't think it was until middle school that we started to, well, drift apart, I guess is the best way to say it. By the time we got to high school we were…" I trailed off, trying to think about how to describe what we'd eventually become to each other. "Well, still friends, you know? I'd give him free frozen yogurt when he came in to the shop I worked at and my manager wasn't around, and he'd give me rides sometimes in his shitty old truck when the weather was bad, so it's not like we weren't friends, but we just didn't really hang out anymore. He had his friends, I had mine, and we'd say hello when we saw each other and all that, but that was it, more or less."

"You remember when Andy told that story about you two at the nude beach?" Jenna asked. "That night, he told me that you were the reason his dad asked for permanent station at Camp Pendleton. He told me that years later his mom told him that his parents were so happy that he'd finally made a friend that his dad turned down a posting in Germany that would have benefitted his career just so Andy could stay in the same school and stay with his friends, which was mostly just you back then."

"Seriously?" I asked, surprised. I wasn't too surprised that Andy's dad wanted a degree of permanence for his son, but that I was the deciding factor.

"That's what his mom told him," Jenna confirmed.