Eldritch Exorcist

I stood there looking at the five people in an awkward silence. The larger man gazed at me with furrowed eyebrows. After a few moments, he slowly took his hand off his hip and bent down to pick up the camera, still keeping an eye on me throughout the whole process.

"Hello. Sorry. We thought you were, um… someone we know and wanted to surprise," said a lanky, mousy-looking guy at the front.

"Oh, well then, sorry to disappoint, but I don't think we've met," I said, smiling.

"Oh, right. Where are my manners? I'm Cecil, and this is Victor, Mercy, Liz, and Rey," he said, pointing at everyone in the room. "We are ghost—"

"What happened to your hand?" the larger man interrupted. "You okay?" he added, but there was no genuine concern behind the question.

The rest seemed to notice as well, as they looked at my hand.

I swore inwardly.

"Oh, that's nothing. I'm not wounded, don't worry. The name's Samuel, by the way, but please call me Sam. I'd shake your hands, but, well…" I said, raising my hands in the air as if surrendering.

"Yeah. So what are you do–" Cecil started, but was interrupted again.

"How did you get so much blood on your hands?" Rey asked, not paying the mousy man any attention.

I furrowed my brow.

"Maybe it's paint," I tried to joke.

"It's drying in flakes. I can tell blood from paint."

Great. I had to run into someone with knowledge about blood. I was gearing up for some mental magic, but I tried to talk it out for now.

"Why are you so curious?" I asked, buying time, thinking up an excuse.

"Meeting a strange man with his hands covered in blood and no wound in an abandoned building. Do I need a reason to be curious?"

"You seem on edge."

"You seem to be changing the subject."

Well, he wasn't stupid. We stared at each other. Sadly, meeting his gaze seemed only to put him more on edge rather than scare him off. I was about to try a mental suggestion when an excuse came to me.

"Well, it's a strange story, and you might not believe me, but I saw a wounded, dying boar on my trek through the woods to get here," I began.

The man, introduced as Rey, made a deep frown. "And you just happened to what? Smear his blood all over yourself?"

Now came the best part. "Well, I had to do a ritual over him so that the animal spirit didn't infect the forest."

They all looked at one another.

"It's a strange story, actually. You see, I'm undercover. I work at a youth counseling center, but I'm actually an exorcist. I could sense that the spirits here are in upheaval, so I wanted to guide the boar to the other side. And after that, I came here to do something about their unrest," I finished.

If you want someone to leave you alone, then just pretend to be crazy. It usually did the job.

I looked at them, expecting the weirded-out expression followed by 'oh, well then, good luck,' and them getting away from me. And I did get that, but on only two out of the five people in front of me.

The younger-looking woman looked at me like a proper crazy person alongside the large man. But the rest was weird. Cecil got a shine in his eyes like I'd just told him I was here to give him a massive inheritance from his long-lost relative. Victor smiled and nodded happily, and the woman, Mercy, actually looked relieved for some reason.

Were they crazy as well?

"Cool, dude," said Victor. "So, fellow industry professional, that—" He continued, but got cut off by Cecil.

"So you're an actual exorcist. Like real life. Priest and stuff?"

It was my turn to look at them like they were crazy. Fellow industry professional? What? Did I actually run into exorcists? But they didn't look the part.

Well, even less than I did, but I was undercover, after all.

"Yes. Although not a priest. I'm an affiliated exorcist. I work with the church, not for the church."

"Yeah, yeah, right. But you know all the words, spirits, you know, the nomenclature," the mousy man asked, clearly excited.

"Yeah?" I confirmed, not sure where he was going with it.

"Do you have any stories?"

"Sure, but here is not the place—"

"Not the time," he interrupted me. "We would have to set up an interview," he murmured to himself, loudly enough for me to hear him.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Yeah, I was not interested in interviews.

"Thanks for the meeting, but I need to get to my work. The souls cannot wait in limbo when they were meant for the pearly gates," I tried sounding wise and excused myself, but the man stopped me.

"Wait. Wait, wait. I think we can help one another."

I raised my eyebrows in doubt.

"We are ghost hunters. You know, like, also kind of exorcists, not affiliated with the church." I saw the eyebrows on people behind him shoot up in surprise at those words. They seemed not to have been informed of their new job positions. But the man continued unperturbed. "We are doing an investigation into the local murders, and the opinion of an expert exorcist would do wonders for the footage."

I was about to refuse, but then stopped. "Murders?" I asked, curious. "I'm here about overdoses to help fight the demon of addiction."

I saw the people wince and look to Cecil, who choked at my question.

"Yeah. Well… you know, demon of addiction can work in mysterious ways, so ummm—"

"That would be God, I believe," I interrupted in fake offense.

"Right, riiiight. God. But, umm, if a demon caused the, ummm, overdose, or whatever happened, then he, I mean, technically speaking, he caused death. So… that makes it murder, and that's why I called it as such. Yes! That's right! A demon caused the murders. That's why we are here as well, to document the demon. We don't believe that the local youth would ever do drugs on their own. We were raised here, and our footage will prove that it is demonic forces responsible for the downfall of youth in our hometown!" He finished his bullshit with a proud smile.

God, he was an awful liar. But hometown. So they were local. Some more info wouldn't hurt for now…

"Well, then we are fellow industry professionals," I said with a grin. "But I don't want to be anywhere on the footage. As I said, I'm undercover as a youth counselor."

I had to say my excuse was coming together pretty well.

"Right, right. We will blur you and change your voice. Even better. Mysterious traveling exorcist sensed the presence of the demon and joined our team." He spoke in something that was meant to be a deep announcer's voice. I think?

I was starting to wonder whether any info they could provide was worth it, but finally relented. I wasn't the most friendly-looking person, and if I could use them as surrogates for asking questions, then why not?

"Well. Then I'm looking forward to our cooperation," I lied. "But I would like to see the place where the demon did its gruesome work. Can you lead me there?"

"Of course!" shouted Cecil. "Can you tell us on the way, like about the scene, what you suspect, but in, like, professional terms, you know, drop some Bible names, some demon names. Something… professional-sounding."

"I can't speculate yet," I answered.

He looked like he wanted to argue, but the woman, Liz, pulled him back and told everyone to get a move on.

We began to stroll through the corridors. I wanted to check most of the rooms along the way. The man initially protested about wasting time, but then relented when I offered the excuse of looking for signs of a demonic presence. The excuses were getting annoying. That, and there was another problem.

"So, dude. Do you have, like, a gun?" asked the tall, skinny man.

"A gun?" I asked.

"Yeah, like a blessed one, for demons?"

"No?" I looked at the man. Was he making fun of me? But he looked genuinely interested. "Why would I need a gun?"

"You know, like with bullets with holy water. Or like a cross gun. Blessed cross gun."

"N-no. Faith and prayer are all the weapons I need," I said, barely holding back a less-than-pleasant comment.

"Cool. But, like, brass knuckles with crosses would be cool too."

"I'll look into it."

We checked another room, and once I was done sensing for mana, which I still didn't feel anywhere, the man stuck to me once again. He was immune to my aura, sadly, being the too-stupid-to-get-the-hint type, not sensing any danger, unlike the Rey guy, who still kept an eye on my movements.

"So, you ever fight any demons?" asked Victor. And I could see that Liz raised her camera slightly to pick up the conversation.

"Yes, I did. I have helped many young people overcome the demons in their lives. Each was a battle for the immortal soul."

"Cool. So you get paid by the Vatican for that?"

I almost started laughing. "Actually, yes, I do."

"And you, like, pray and cite the Bible? No throwing hands with demons?"

"No, prayer is the best weapon against evil."

"I don't see a cross on you," Rey interrupted.

I sighed. What was his deal?

"I have one in my backpack. Approaching young people with a visible cross is a surefire way not to be listened to. Or would you like to go through my belongings to make sure?" I barked at him, turning around.

The man seemed like he wanted to tell me to get on the ground with my hands behind my head and check my stuff, but finally, seemingly realizing he was taking it too far, just shook his head and gave up.

After that, we walked the corridors, checking room after room. Nothing unusual came to mind for now. But I grew increasingly curious about the woman Mercy, as she seemed to be on edge as we approached the place where Cecil had led us. She was looking at me more often.

We finally entered one of the storage rooms. I immediately noticed the police tapes still lying on the floor. But there was another thing I sensed. Mana, but not from a vein.

I entered the room slowly, keeping my senses at their highest. Something happened here, that much was for sure. There was some magic in the air, but it was barely perceptible. There wasn't a vein in the vicinity. This seemed to be more like the outcome of a release of magic, either on purpose or something like a broken spell or artifact.

I entered deeper. The mana was barely there. So much so that I couldn't sense the attunement, if there was any.

I swore lightly under my breath.

"What?" Cecil immediately piped up, and I realized my mistake.

"Yes. I can sense it. There was some demon activity here."

"Yeah, the demon left you the police tapes, did he?" Rey commented.

I paid him no attention. Something took place here. Something or someone with magic released mana. But that's all I got.

"So what can you tell me about what happened here?" I asked the people.

"Something bad happened. Yesterday, there were those eyes and one of the h–" Mercy immediately piped up, but to my annoyance, Cecil interrupted her.

"He's not asking about that."

'I was asking about exactly that,' I added in my mind, but with a titanic feat of will, stopped myself from strangling the man.

"There were two overdoses, but that's all we have for now."

I nodded in confirmation.

"So what are your plans now?" I asked the man.

"We have some interviews with the people set up." Oh, that was music to my ears. "You can go with us. As a youth counselor, you might be better than Rey."

"I will help as much as I can," I replied.

"Cool. So the local preacher is the first on the list," the man said happily as I groaned.

Oh, come on, of all the people…