Dungeons Just Want to Have Fun

“Now this is more like it,” Kelsey said, sinking her teeth into a leg of cold roasted chicken. “Better than breakfast, right?”

Anton agreed, but picked at his own meal without much enthusiasm. They were eating in Kirido’s best inn. Anton’s family had been fairly well off, but this inn catered to the rich merchants that passed through. Few locals could afford to eat here except on very special occasions.

Stout walls and hired help had kept the inn relatively intact. There was damage to the exterior, but inside the biggest difference was the lack of customers. According to the innkeeper, the merchants that had been trapped there during the raid had left with haste as soon as they were able. Many of them had lost their cargo, but as long as they had their lives, they could start again when they got back to their hometowns.

Kelsey had dragged him away from Aris after the funeral rites were done. She’d said that she needed him as a guide for some errands she had in town.

“So what do you think, should we stay here for the time being?” she asked. “I don’t think your house is going to be habitable soon.”

Anton suppressed the pang he felt when she said ‘his house’ and focussed on the real issue. He looked around and lowered his voice.

“We’re… going to have to sleep in the same room, aren’t we?” he asked. They had experimented with the geas while waiting for things in the Temple. It wasn’t just distance that triggered his anxiety. Walls, doors, anything that separated them would cause the fear to build.

“I guess so, unless you’ve got a better idea.” Kelsey dug into her meal, far more concerned with flavours than the conversation.

“It’s just… a man and a woman, sharing the same room… it gives a certain impression.”

Kelsey shrugged. “If it’s sex that you’re talking about, sure we can do that. It’s on my to-do list.”

“That’s not-” Anton checked himself before he attracted everyone’s attention by yelling. He could feel his cheeks getting warm as he continued, more quietly.

“I already have… someone special. What am I supposed to tell Aris?”

Kelsey looked at him calmly. “Well, you’re going to have to decide that for yourself.” She held up a hand to forestall a response and continued. “I’m not about telling you how to live your life. So far, you’ve decided to keep my nature to yourself. I guess you figure spilling the beans would end badly for everyone - and you’d end up back in the dungeon.”

Anton nodded glumly. Starting a fight between Kelsey and…. everyone else, probably ended with Kelsey’s body dead. The other possibility was worse.

“Well that’s convenient for me, and I appreciate it. But… you have to tell Aris something, and it may as well be the truth. You can probably convince her of the necessity to keep quiet.”

Anton nodded slowly. He thought Aris would probably understand why they needed to keep quiet.

“Plus this way, you can also explain why I have to be there when you have sex,” Kelsey continued blithely.

Anton groaned and shrank back into his chair. “Why… why would you even say things like that?”

“Hey, who knows? Maybe she’s into it.” Kelsey gave him a speculative look. “Maybe you are.”

“How do you even know about sex?” Anton complained.

“Oh, adventurers do it in the dungeon all the time,” Kelsey said with amusement. “There are a few alcoves where the monsters don’t wander, so they find one of those and…”

“Stop! I don’t want to hear it.” Anton exclaimed.

“Fine, fine,” Kelsey conceded. “Can you do me a favour and get us a room?”

“Why me?” Anton asked suspiciously. He was still resisting the obvious necessity of them rooming together.

“Because if I do it, he’ll be bound to the contract. Which wouldn’t be bad, exactly, but he’d feel it, and I don’t want to get a reputation.” She slid three coins across the table. Gold coins.

“Are you crazy?” Anton whispered urgently. “That’s three hundred silver… even the best room here wouldn’t cost more than three!”

“That’s actually useful information,” Kelsey said thoughtfully. “I thought it’d be, like, thirty. But I want you to establish a tab with the guy.”

“Why? And why so much?”

“Look. Times are tough for you guys right now. The innkeeper has lost patrons, staff and the place has gotten damaged. How is he going to provide a good experience to me if he’s worried about his cash flow?”

“This is about… you getting a good meal?”

“Lots of great meals, hopefully. I haven’t had a body to experience life with since — since forever, basically, so I want to get as much good stuff in as possible.”

“This much though… it could take you a year to run through this much of an advance.”

“Wanna bet?” Kelsey asked, grinning. “I’ve got a lot of extravagant demands to make.”

Anton followed Kelsey glumly towards the docks. The room key he’d just received was occupying his thoughts, or more accurately the look the innkeeper had given him. A local boy, rooming with a mysterious, rich stranger. Anton could have dealt with a judging look but instead, the innkeeper’s eyes had been approving. And more than a little jealous.

It wasn’t the first such look he got as they went around town. Kelsey had him deal with the merchants they interacted with. Even without the enforcement to worry about, it was probably for the best. With exotic skin and flamboyant clothes, Kelsey would have been given short shrift in most of the businesses around town. They much preferred dealing with him and ignoring the bizarre foreigner.

Kelsey’s errands seemed trade-related, as she started throwing more money around than Anton had ever seen in one day before. First, she had leased an empty warehouse from a recently widowed owner. Makasa had been glad for the money. She was in the position of having to take over the business or sell it, and the income would help her out either way.

Anton was glad he could help someone he knew, but he was suspicious. “Why did you pay so much?” he asked as they moved on to the next errand.

“It’s not like I’m short of funds.” Kelsey shrugged. “I don’t have unlimited gold, but I have enough that my main worry is setting off inflation.”

“What’s inflation?”

Kelsey stopped and turned to look him dead in the eyes. “There are some secrets held by Dungeons, young man, that are too terrible for you to know.” Then she smirked and went back to walking.

Their next stop was an actual ship. The raiders had come by ship, but had actually landed down the coast a way and attacked on foot. The ships in the harbour had pulled out of the docks but stayed in the safety of the harbour. Now that the raiders had left, it should be safe for them to sail out, but there was still a lot of fear of piracy. At least that was how Captain Baker had explained it.

“No one wants to lose good money when they think we’re going to be sunk!” The Kabiman exclaimed.

“That’s a shame, the town is in need of a lot of things,” Kelsey said sympathetically.

“And we have a need to sail!” Baker agreed. “But we have no money to be buying cargo.”

Kelsey nodded thoughtfully. “We're actually looking to ship some things in… do you think you could get some of the things on this list — fairly quickly?”

She produced a sheet of paper, which the captain carefully clasped in his tripartite claw and brought up to his face.

“Most of this, maybe all of this, three or four days,” he replied. “Expensive though.” He looked at Anton. “We?”

Kelsey smiled. “We’re partners. Let’s talk details.”

Anton wanted to tune out the resulting discussion, but Kelsey kept him as part of it, maintaining the fiction that he was part of the deal. Fortunately, smiling and nodding were all that was required from him.

“I’m surprised you could read a Kabiman’s colours,” he said as they walked back into the town. “I thought it was a local skill.” With their exoskeletons, Kabimen couldn’t make facial expressions, but if you knew what to look for, the colour of their shell changed to match their emotions.

“Kabimen came to the dungeon, like anyone else,” Kelsey replied. “Though one thing I didn’t see was people like that.” She pointed at another Kabiman.

It took Anton a second to see what she was talking about. The person she was pointing at seemed normal to him. “Oh, right. There’s a variation they call the war form, which is probably what you’re used to seeing. Like the Captain, their shell is reinforced with ridges, and one claw gets bigger. They tend to take warrior-type paths.”

“Huh,” Kelsey said thoughtfully. “So anyway, Kabimen came to the Dungeon, so learning their colours came at around the same time that I learned your language.”

Something about that statement seemed wrong to Anton, but before he could articulate why, Kelsey looked around and decided on a new destination.

“Let's check out the Adventurers guild. I want to see how they’ve been managing the local dungeon.”

“Sure thing,” Anton said and started leading them in the right direction. “Are you sure though? Aren’t adventurers… your natural enemy?”

“Mm, maybe. It’s a risk. What does your Identify skill say about me?”

“My skill?” Anton asked, taken aback. It was a bit rude to use Identify on someone you knew… but he had to admit to being curious.

“Kelsey” Level ?? Class: Necropolis (Rare)

That was surprisingly normal, all things considered. Not being able to see her level meant that she was at least twice his. So Tier Three or more. He’d never heard of her Class before, but that was probably to be expected. He passed on what he saw.

“I guess the gig is up if they Identify me then,” Kelsey said, scowling. “My understanding, though, is that only Adventurers get an Identify that works on everything.”

“Delver’s Discernment isn’t the only such trait, but it’s the most common,” Anton agreed. “Maybe it's different for other classes, but Adventurers tend not to use Discernment on other people.”

Anton paused. “But… I have used it on a few people, and I’ve never seen anyone’s name in quotes like that before.”

Kelsey’s eyes narrowed. “Someone’s being an asshole,” she said flatly. “I have an idea who, but there’s not much we can do about it.”

Anton stared at her for a few moments. Was she talking about a God? It was generally supposed that the gods were responsible, in some way, for how Traits worked… and for dungeons as well.