Dungeon Defense (WN)

The card she pulled out was something that I hadn’t expected.

“There are several goblin tribes near the vicinity of our Demon Lord castle. We must use those goblin villages.”

“Are you saying to use the goblin tribes as reinforcements?”

I asked back in relative surprise. I was genuinely astonished this time. It was the first time since the beginning of the conversation that Laura pointed out something that even I hadn’t consider.

There are certainly several goblin tribes nearby. Before I went on my trip to Niflheim, I appeased the human villages because I was afraid of the adventurers invading while I was gone. The offer I gave to appease them was that ‘goblins will no longer attack your village’.

I furrowed my brows.

“Laura, it is nearly impossible to utilize untrained monsters as a part of our forces. It is true that they are inherently friendly towards a Demon Lord like myself; however, it is still a question as to whether they would risk their lives for me like the monsters that are currently under me.”

“Even the civilian militia will most likely not risk their lives for the adventurers.”

“Hm.”

The reason why the civilian militia is joining the adventurers isn’t due to the fact that they’re loyal to them. They are after their own gains. If I were to also promise a benefit like that to the goblins, then they would most likely join the battle as well. ━This is what Laura is trying to say.

“Your Lordship had forbidden the goblin tribes from hunting humans. This was to bring the humans over to our side. Would a simple logic not form with this? We can tell them that they can now hunt the human villages that have turned hostile towards us freely.”

“Hunting and war are on two entirely different dimensions. Even if we allow them to hunt, we cannot force them to take part in a war.”

Laura shook her head.

“Your premise is wrong.”

“My premise?”

I asked back in interest.

“What premise are you saying is wrong?”

“Why do you think we must force them to take part in a war? Your Lordship, this is this young lady’s remonstration. You are much too nice to monsters. Your Lordship unconsciously thought that we are driving the monsters to fight. Is this not a terrifying misunderstanding?”

Laura pointed at a fairy that was sitting on my shoulder.

“You must not make this misunderstanding. Monsters are not your pets! Monsters are brutal and savage wild beasts just like humans, thus they are warriors that will run out into battle as long as it is beneficial for them.”

Her words burrowed into my head.

I abruptly recalled the piece of advice that Lapis offered me back at the slave market. When I saw the way the humans treated subspecies, I got upset. At that time, Lapis said this to me:

‘Being excessively empathetic is not wise. The understanding shared between the womenfolk in shopping districts and the verdict made by judges in the court of law, these things do not befit a king.’

‘A king must understand and make a verdict.’

I thought I had heeded her words sufficiently, but it seems I still have a tendency to consider all monsters as allies.

“I guarantee it. If we present a situation to the goblins where they can gain something, then they will voluntarily participate in war even if we tell them not to. Your Lordship, please think rationally. Be it humans or monsters, they are nothing more than pawns on a chessboard called war.”

I completely acknowledged that Laura was right.

A certain corner of my mind had a soft spot for monsters. I simply intended to alienate the relationship between the villages and make the adventurers self-destruct. I never even considered using monsters.

Nonetheless, instead of feeling ashamed, I felt happy.

‘Supporting one’s lord when they fail to notice something is also an intrigant’s duty.’

I never thought that I would be able to handle everything by myself anyway. If I did, then I would have never recruited Laura in the first place. I’m the type of person who has more concerns about himself than confidence. Laura was currently filling those concerns.

“Your Lordship.”

Laura’s green eyes stared straight at me. She was waiting for my response.

“……Let us say that we use the goblin tribes, with what gain do you intend to make them act?”

“That is also a simple matter.”

Laura responded without a moment of hesitation.

“Be it humans or monsters, things that belong to others naturally seem better.”

* * *

A forest that had grown densely without any restrictions. Parsi, the young village chief, was advancing while pushing the foliage aside with his cane. He swore each time a branch or a sharp blade of grass scratched his flesh.

“Ow, fucking hell. These damn bugs!”

He turned back to look at me. His front hair was stuck to his forehead.

“Your Honor! Please allow me to ask something.”

“I’ll allow it.”

“Why me?”

I answered Parsi as I comfortably followed the path he had opened.

“You are the youngest and strongest, after all. I couldn’t possibly make an old man act as a guide, now could I?”

“Ah, then you could have chosen any of the hunters at the village to do this…….”

“I have also taken a liking to you.”

“Geh.”

Parsi didn’t seem to like that.

Nevertheless, that was all. It seems he couldn’t think of anything else to say as he proceeded to swing his cane firmly. Despite always saying whatever was on his mind, he appears to be the type of person who gets embarrassed if someone is honest with him.

“How cute.”

“C-Cute? Did you just call me cute?”

Parsi turned pale from shock. He started jumping in place. His behavior was childish which was befitting for a young man from the countryside. This made me laugh. It’s hard to not find this amusing when in the presence of a person like Parsi who expresses themselves without any reservation.

“Aah. You probably are not aware of it yourself, but you are quite cute.”

“Fuck! In all my life, even my mother never called me cute! Are your eyes damaged? Even if Your Honor claims that your eyes are fine, I’ll firmly believe otherwise!”

Parsi’s shoulders trembled.

“Your Honor…… do you perhaps, pitch for the o-other side?”

“Other side?”

“You know, they say there are guys who’re interested…… in other guys.”

Sheesh.

I gave Parsi a pitying look. He must have also felt awkward once I did since he scratched the back of his head.

“E-Ehem. That’s a relief. I was simply curious.”

“Even if I were a sodomite, I assure you that your rear hole would be nowhere near my list of goals.”

“Rear hole? What are you talking about?”

It appears that this country bumpkin only knows that there are men who prefer other men, but has no idea what they do to get it on.

I grinned.

“Referentially, when two men really, really love each other…….”

Due to my duty as an intellectual to teach ignorant people the truth and my desire to be considerate of a country bumpkin, I gave him a detailed explanation of how two males have sex. Since I had diligently listened to a liberal arts class about sex at my university, my explanation was both concrete and detailed. I’m being completely honest here, but I have absolutely no ulterior motives behind giving him this much information. All I have are my duties as an intellectual and my considerate personality.

Parsi’s complexion became paler and paler as my explanation continued.

“N-No way!”

He shouted to the point of almost fainting. He was like a 5-year-old boy who had just discovered for the first time in his life that girls don’t have penises.

“So, so you’re saying that, they use it to penetrate there!?”

“To make it purely accurate, the anus is where…….”

“Stop! Stooop!”

Parsi screamed as he blocked his ears with his palms. Based off of his reaction, this guy is a male bachelor. Despite having a rough way with words, he has never experienced a woman before. This made him seem even cuter.

“Please do not use such vulgar words!”

“I personally do not know that much about it, but I heard that it is incredibly pleasurable.”

“I don’t want to believe it! My common sense! My common sense is!”

“Common sense is meant to be broken.”

I retorted cooly.

“Young man, you should open your eyes to a new world.”

“I don’t want that kind of world!”

The innocent young man’s scream resonated throughout the green forest. I learned about this earlier after talking with him for a bit, but this hairy giant is actually only 16 years old. He’s the same age as Laura. He just looks really old.

The foliage in the forest was thick. It had rained a few days ago, so the greenery had grown at a terrifying rate. It was hard to find a spot that wasn’t covered in moss and there were no trees that weren’t covered in leaves. It felt like this was the forest’s desperate attempt to hold on to the leaving summer as it stubbornly tried to remain green. I arrived in this world in spring and now summer was almost over.

━Keruruk, keru.

━Keruruk.

Countless footsteps followed behind us.

“Sheesh.”

Was he trying to change the subject? Parsi glanced behind us.

“I never thought in all my life that I would be on the same side as goblins.”

There were nearly a hundred goblins.

This massive troop was following behind us in two lines. The goblins were holding primitive weapons like hatchets and stone spears. Interestingly enough, there were a lot of stone-throwers. They were walking while holding the slings they used to shoot stones and they would hunt birds and rabbits every now and then as we advanced. On a side note, my weapon was a crossbow. I undoubtedly had the most luxurious weapon out of all of us.

As a joke, I earlier said:

“I have no idea how they intend to fight with those.”

But once I did, Parsi made a face as he refuted me.

“What are you talking about? I don’t care about the other goblins, but I’d rather not get into a fight with the ones holding slings.”

“How strong could a mere stone possibly be?”

“Your Honor, you don’t know the taste of rocks, do you? Rocks are the scariest things in the world. Even the toughest of guys would get sent to the next life if they take a direct hit from one of those.”

Would I as well? I wondered. It was honestly hard to believe that a sling could be that powerful, but Parsi sounded so confident that I didn’t say anything more about it. It would only be a good thing if Parsi was right, so I hoped the goblin stone-throwers would give it their all.

In any case, looking past their equipment, the march of almost a hundred goblins was quite the grand spectacle.

“It feels weird being on the same side as monsters.”

“Are you afraid?”

“Rather than afraid, I feel weird.”

Parsi twisted his lips as if he were displeased.

“Who would ever believe that humans and monsters teamed up? People would probably tell me to stop being delusional and criticize me. Honestly, I still can’t believe this.”

A delusion, huh.

I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. There are two types of people in the world who genuinely talk about delusions. Revolutionists or idiots. I’ve met both types of people until now. Jack belonged to the latter. He died. The person who belongs to the former is━.

“Someone is coming.”

Parsi spoke up. He was pointing behind me. Once I turned around, I saw Laura approaching us while riding on top of a donkey. It didn’t take her long to swiftly pass the goblins and reach me.

Laura got down from her mount gracefully.

“Your Lordship.”

Even as a layman I could tell that her horsemanship was excellent. The issue is that her mount is way too shabby compared to her skills. They say that masters don’t distinguish between their tools, but a donkey was too much.

Laura seemed to not care about this whatsoever as she kneeled before me. The fairies that were flying around her came to me.

“Thus far, there have been no goblin tribes that have left the formation.”

Laura spoke formally. She was doing this because Parsi was next to us. Since I also believed that public and private matters should clearly be separated, I didn’t mention how her formal way of speech was a bit awkward.

“Well done. Parsi, how long until we reach the village?”

“Uh? Huh? Oh, it shouldn’t be too far now.”

Parsi, who had been completely infatuated by Laura’s face, responded in a hurry. He must have been awestruck since this was his first time seeing the beauty of a noble’s daughter after living all his life in the countryside.

“Uhm, we should be able to see it soon if we keep going like this.”

“All right. Laura, that will be your last report.”

I patted her shoulder.

“Advance by my side from this point on.”

“Understood.”

I ordered the goblins to march silently. Sure enough, as Parsi had said, the forest path soon came to an end.

A man saw us in the distance and became surprised. He seemed to be a lumberjack. He screamed his lungs off before running away. He was too far away to shoot him with my crossbow or get hit by a sling.

“A surprise attack is out of the question now. Is this okay?”

“Do not worry.”

How much could they possibly accomplish by getting ready now? We continued like this straight to the village ahead.

***

TL note: Thanks for reading the chapter. It took me a bit to finish, but I got through it. My university completely changed the online class system once we got into week 3, so I had a lot more work to do. I’ll do my best to keep pumping out these chapters.