Dungeon at the End of the Universe

I don’t even know how much time had passed and frankly, I didn’t care. We were ready and that was all that mattered.

“Everything done?” I asked Faellen.

“Aye aye, captain!”

“Then let’s get this party started!”

And with that, a magic circle not too dissimilar from the one we used to access the Wyld opened, and sucked something through.

 

---

 

Prshky was not having a good day. For one thing, his Croaker^[1] had dies on him in the morning, resulting in him sleeping in. That, by itself, would not have been the end of the world. Of course, it had to happen on a day when many, too many, other things also went wrong.

^[1] a croaker is a specifically bred species of toad that emits a single shrill croak exactly once a day at dawn

The pantry was empty, he couldn’t find his Tramoot^[2], and the Waddler^[3]

was late. These, along with many other minor inconveniences, combined into one of the worst ways for a day to go. It was only the start though.

^[2] since Prshky’s people don’t tend to, or need to, wear clothes as we know them they develop a different way to signal things like social status. A Tramoot looks somewhat like a mix of a poncho and a cape

^[3] a Waddler is a species of giant bug that effectively functions like a bus would. It has some resemblance to a rhino beetle

Once Prshky finally arrived at work, one of the best observatories in the empire, he found out that the event they had all been waiting for had already passed. And he wasn’t there to witness it. Great, he thought, now I’ll get chewed up for both being late and missing the event.

The event in question being, of course, the arrival of the light. They had figured out long ago that it was in truth a celestial object of some kind, but the name stuck despite that. Another thing they calculated was that if it stayed as it was, and crossed a certain threshold, a collision was imminent. The event signalled the point at which it should have crossed said threshold.

But, as Prshky soon found out, exactly at that moment something strange happened. All of the objects momentum inexplicably shifted and suddenly it started orbiting them. Out of nowhere, they had gained a moon.

Still, that’s neither here nor there. This isn’t about figuring out how such an impossible thing had happened, nor how the Protected Imperial Space System, the main organization in the empire tasked with all things astronomical, would deal with the aftermath.

No, this is a story of a man named Prshky. As we already learned, Prshky worked for an organization, the P.I.S.S., where he was an employee in charge of a small team of people. His job was very simple, he’d tell his team what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. And although others may consider this soul rending work… Prshky did too.^[4]

^[4] this paragraph is the authors failed attempt at a reference to the video game “The Stanley Parable” released in 2013 on home computers

And then, one day, something very peculiar happened. As we already saw, he was having a very bad day when suddenly, it got much, much worse. As he was catching up on his missed work, a beam of greenish unknown light enveloped him, and then he was gone.^[5]

^[5] the authors attempts at a reference still continue with this paragraph, but we’ve heard news that the author has promised to stop now

The next moment he found himself in an alien environment. Trees that twisted in on themselves with only a scant few leaves on them. Rocks, stones, and pebbles that all looked strangely uniform and like copies of each other. Rivers that flowed from nowhere and ended just as suddenly. And all this contained in an unnervingly flat and monotone landscape.

It truly was fortuitous that despite all these oddities, when Prshky inhaled in shock, there was air to breathe.

“Wh- what the hell!” he muttered, then shouted. But no one answered.

Then, in the distance, a small hill rose from the earth. Within it, a cave quickly took form, and within that a small but intense light began to flicker. It was a strange thing to behold, watching tough earth mould itself as if it were clay.

Minutes passed, but with no other landmark in sight there was no choice about it. With a sigh, Prshky went to the light.

It took slightly longer than one would expect, but perspective always likes to play tricks on people. Either way, just over a dozen minutes later, he’d arrived.

The hill was truly strange, just as its formation was. As if someone had pushed on the inside of a balloon. And the cave? The cave was simply a perfectly smooth cylinder, as far from natural as a thing can be. Yet further in still, the light that had lured him here floated.

Yes, floated. It just stood there, in the middle of the cave, levitating.

It was an orb, yes, but at the same time it also wasn’t. It was more than that, yet it also gave off a feeling as if it was an illusion, as if it didn’t fully exists. The light it gave off, very slightly tinted a soft blue, pulsed and flickered intermittently. And, most importantly, it held a certain allure.

Prshly almost couldn’t help himself but to reach out and touch it. As he did so, the orb moved towards him and made contact. Then, the strangest thing happened.

“What?” Prshky said, baffled.