Dreamland

Switching from hysterical crying to laughter in less than a day: quite a rollercoaster.

I shut my eyes and attempted to regain my balance, leaning on Cala's teachings for mental concentration.

Inhale, count to five, exhale.

Certain memories were lingering in the shadows that perhaps I shouldn't disturb at the moment.

Inhale, count to five, exhale.

Focus on the task.

Alright, I was feeling more centered now.

While they were grappling with the details of my story about angels and discussing it animatedly, I began to dress. White Flower approached me and placed a hand on my wrist to redirect my attention to her.

"There's a way we could combat the evolved wolshi," she said, moistening her lips in preparation to explain the method.

As I turned to look at her, observing her closely, I noticed that she no longer resembled Terri precisely but rather an enhanced version of her, featuring slender legs. Well, if you considered those changes improvements... Alongside the slender legs, the green hue in her eyes had lightened, and two small silver horns adorned her head.

It occurred to me that she enjoyed mixing up her appearance.

Unable to resist, I inquired,

"You're not fond of being Terri anymore?"

She responded with a hand gesture, slightly taken aback by my observation or, perhaps, my lack of focus on what she was trying to convey.

"Oh, it's the high concentration of magic in the environment that accelerates the deterioration of the magic mirrors I used. I should have refreshed it."

She sighed, sweeping a hand in front of herself, and her appearance transformed, restoring her to a perfect Terri without horns.

"See? All done. Now, back to my proposal! You could lose your shadow weakness, and on top of that, you would look as fresh as new."

"You've got my attention! Sorry for before. Go on?"

"As I can transform myself into Terri or whoever I choose, I could easily transform you into an immaculate Cala without scars. However..."

Listening to her, I felt a bit dizzy. I opened my eyes again and gazed at her.

Okay, damn, it's not nice to doze off, and now for the second time in a conversation, but... I had a revelation.

Suddenly, I knew what had happened to Spartacius and me and why we couldn't log out. I shrugged at the thought. It wasn't some hidden secret or some deep mystery; it was so darn simple and stupid at the same time that I started to laugh. It was something I had just learned.

She was a bit taken aback by my sudden outburst.

“I'm not sure I know what was so funny in what I just said?”

Alice turned to us and eyed me.

“Cala, are you okay?”

I couldn't answer right away. Alice looked worried while White Flower pouted. Even Spartacius risked an eye to look at me, but my guardian, Tina, shot straight:

“Sparty, keep looking away!”

I was not yet completely clad. As he was not allowed to look, he asked:

“Is there something?”

I sighed:

“Well, there is. I know. I fucking know. I have the explanation! I know why we could not log out!”

Shocked, he turned and looked at me, then turned back.

“Ow, sorry! What did you mean?”

“Well, how do I say it?... Ahm, you are a spawn Sparty... like I am. We are spawns too!”

He did not take it graciously, and the others were a bit confused about what this would change.

“Cala, I fear that healing does not restore the brain's cognitive capacity, or maybe you still have some worm that is wracking havoc inside that skull."

“Sparty!”

Tina shot a small fireball that splashed over his shoulder.

“Ow!” - Spartacius yelled, jumping to the side, then complained - "that'd hurt!"

“Tina!” - Alice said, admonishing her.

“He should not speak like that!”

The Lynx huffed.

“Let Cala explain what she means!”- he said, then turning towards me - "what do you mean with being also a spawn?"

White Flower said nothing but was looking askew at me.

I sighed.

“I mean what I've just said. Well, I said it because I have just logged in. I have just joined the game!”

“It cannot be! You were... “ - Spartacius started to say something, then he stopped as soon as he understood what I had just said.

“Exactly. I, Dolores, logged out, but Cala remained in this world. We knew this! We knew we could leave our characters to play in the field, or we could move it into an inn and let it rest there! We even talked about it, fuck it!”

"Was it not possible to log out completely?"

"Yes, it was. It is called complete logout. They separated the two functions."

“But I do not remember...”

“Yes, you do not remember when you logged out, not even that you logged out, because you did not log out. It was the real Spartacius who did this. I mean, I do not even know your real-life name...”

“Michael. Michael is my name! How can I know my name if I am not here?”

“Oh. Glad to meet you, Michael! I am Dolores. Well, actually, you are not Michael. You are Spartacius! I, as Cala, also knew I was Dolores. I mean, I knew my owner? No! My other name? No! ... Oh, this is getting confusing. It doesn't matter; I am the real one, the real Dolores!”

“What do you mean?”

“You, as you are now, you cannot log out. I can! You are only the backup spawn!”

“But... but... But why did they do this? Why would they do such a thing?”

“Remember the theory about enjoying 24 x 7 hours of gaming? However, there were problems. If you left your character to play, it took decisions that you wouldn't take or like. People were not happy with that. I guess they solved that by making a backup of ourselves inside the character. The backup is so good that you'd think you did it. And when you log in, it just implants the memory. It does not run perfectly yet; I was a bit dizzy when I logged in, but it worked. The last two days, it was not really us; it was our backup that was struggling here. Cala and you, Spartacius, we are spawns, but we have some backup memory of our... owners? True selves?”

“Ow fuck! I still cannot believe it! Why would they do this for a game?”

“Where else can they test these fucking functions? Backup personality? Implanting memories?" - I shrugged - "In a game!

However, this explains why it hurt so much before my login! Now, I am not as shocked or scared as I was then. Do you understand? It must be filtered for me.

But then, when Cala lived it, it was really bad. Because I, when I am only Cala, I do not have that filter, that pain reduction. That comes for Dolores when she plays, not for Cala. I mean for me, not for Cala. Gosh, this is mega confusing. I feel maybe a simulacrum of what she feels. I do not know how this scales. Perhaps I feel it differently. They cannot allow those feelings for real, even if Cala had them. Maybe this can also be controlled somehow. Oh well.”

“But why did we remember that we needed to log out?”

“That was a problem. Probably a bug. Somehow, the backup implanted a thought that should not have been put there. Why did nobody else but us care? Yes, that ghost too! It may be that we two talked or did something that put that memory inside our backups. Ivar the ghost was probably another such case." - I shrugged -" We cannot be the only ones bugged.”

“So you mean I just need to play until Michael logs in?”

“Exactly. You know everything he wants perfectly, so you can do it. See, I now have the memory of playing for two days, but I also have the memory of being in school and just logging in five minutes ago!”

“Weird!”

“I know, right?”

The others were quietly listening to our exchange without interrupting.

“This is probably a test. A test for something bigger. Somebody is experimenting with consciousness transfer?”

“I bet they are. And not only that. Why would all those huge conglomerates sponsor these games? Just for our fun?”

The Lynx tried to protest:

“Hey! What are you two talking about? We here; we lost you now!”

I put a hand on the furry leg.

“Don't be angry with us, my friend. We'll explain everything. We are now talking about our ghouls in our world!”

Tina found the similarities:

“You also have ghouls there? We are not so different!”

“Tina, our ghouls are not really that; it is only a way of speaking. We call that people who love only money and power and seem to have no heart!”

“Yeah, those are ghouls!” - she accepted the definition with a smile.

“Hey, finish dressing up! I am tired of talking and looking the other way! I'm getting torticollis.”

We all laughed at Spartacius.