Dragonsbane.

´I didn't ask for this.'

The phrase echoed in my mind, repeating itself like a useless mantra, but it gave me some form of comfort. It wasn't a common phrase, nor was it uncommon. It simply wasn't something I would say in a moment of anger or frustration. No, this was my reality now.

'But… Why did this have to happen to me?'

'I had no other choice.'

The words left me with a weight I couldn't ignore. It was an empty answer, devoid of strength, as if I were trying to justify something that couldn't be justified.

"Why did you do what you did?" The voice cut through my thoughts. It was strange, a voice that had always been warm, but now it spoke to me coldly, full of fury, yet I could still hear a certain pain hidden in its tone.

I stayed silent for a moment, the words stuck in my throat. There was nothing to say. I knew there was no turning back. It had already been done.

'I didn't ask for this,' I thought again, trying to find comfort in the repetition. But deep down, I knew the only thing left was to move on.

"Answer me. Why did you kill him!"

The voice demanded an explanation, but I had none. The emptiness inside me grew with each word, as if it were impossible to escape this situation. I stared at the floor, trying to gather the strength to speak, but nothing came. The weight of what I had done crushed me more with every passing moment.

'Back then… if I hadn't said, my opinion…'

I sighed, a low, empty sound that got lost in the heavy silence of the room.

'No, nothing would change.' A self-mocking smile appeared on my face, almost like an attempt to hide what I truly felt.

The words were stuck in my throat, a meaningless confession, but one I knew to be true. What would happen if I explained? What would it change now, after everything that had already happened?

"You dare to laugh in this situation?" Another voice echoed, different from the first. Its tone was laden with anguish and sadness, as if each word were a blade cutting the soul.

"Why, even in this situation… you…"

The voice dragged on, as if it were fighting against a pain far greater than anything else. 

'I didn't ask for this…' I thought again, but this time, the phrase no longer brought any comfort. It was just a distant echo of something I could no longer reach. 

I wanted to scream, wanted to give an answer, anything that would free me from this growing pain. But all I could do was laugh at myself, as if the irony of the situation was the only thing left to me. 

"Why are you doing this?" My own voice came out weaker than I expected. I didn't even know who I was addressing anymore. 

The room around me seemed to distort, the walls closing in as I sank deeper into that sea of guilt and regret. 

"DO YOU STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO QUESTION US?" Another voice echoed from the shadows. I dared not raise my head to face. At the same time, footsteps were heard, and a punch was directed at my face, but it wasn't enough to send me flying.

"We made a promise. It was supposed to… all of us…" 

A fourth voice sounded. Unlike the others, this one was laden with helplessness and despair. There was no fury in its tone, but paradoxically, it was the one that pierced my soul the most. 

After its words echoed, only a deep silence remained. A dense emptiness, filled with bitter solitude and suffocating despair, took over the room, hitting me painfully. 

I could feel the frustration in that voice, as if it were trying to hold on to the fragments of something that had already been destroyed. It was like the pain of betrayal was an injury that couldn't be healed. 

I wanted to respond. I wanted to justify myself, but, just like before, the words were stuck in my throat, choking any attempt at salvation. 

'I didn't ask for this,' I thought one more time, but the repetition no longer made any sense. It was just an empty echo, like the very emptiness that filled the space. 

The shadows surrounding me seemed to draw even closer, as if they were about to swallow everything that was left of me. 

"Enough, our voices will never reach him," the second voice stated, trying to bring some form of calm to the chaos that had taken over.

"NO, HE HAS TO SPEAK. HE HAS TO ANSWER!" The third voice, once again, became agitated. This time, the voice approached with rapid, heavy footsteps, and in a swift motion, grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, shaking me violently.

"Answer me, #########, no, ######!" The voice trembled with rage, and a sense of claustrophobia washed over me. It mixed with desperation, as if each word were a rope tightening further around my neck.

"Look us in the eyes and answer! WHY? JUST WHY? DAMN IT!"

That aggressive tone, filled with suffering, pierced through any remaining resistance I had. But what could I answer? How could I justify the unjustifiable?

'I didn't ask for this,' I thought, but the phrase seemed even more distant, emptier than ever.

My body trembled, not from physical pain, but from a profound emptiness I couldn't fill. Each word, each scream, sank deeper into me, as if I were trapped in a prison of my own making.

I could no longer run. The voices, the shadows, the pain... they all surrounded me relentlessly.

"You… you… promised me! You said you… you said…"

Her voice faltered, interrupted by sobs that echoed in the oppressive silence around us. I could feel her pain in every pause, the vulnerability in her voice crashing into me like waves, hitting me mercilessly.

Strangely, those broken words were what finally pulled me from my trance. For the first time, I allowed myself to look around, to face the reality that had unfolded before me. And then my eyes locked onto her.

I lowered my gaze, seeing her small, fragile body before the "giant" holding me by the shirt collar, shaking me as if trying to force an answer. But it was her who truly disarmed me.

Her delicate face, so different from the strength of her words, was completely consumed by pain. Her eyes, brighter and deeper than lapis lazuli, overflowed with tears that silently fell and vanished into the ground. That sight was like a final blow, breaking down any barrier I still tried to maintain.

Pain, guilt, and desperation mixed into something unbearable, and a sense of helplessness overwhelmed me.

I sighed deeply, feeling the weight of everything I carried inside. With titanic effort, I gripped the wrist still holding me by the collar, using all the strength I had left.

And then, I shouted.

"ENOUGH! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? FINE, I'LL TELL YOU WHY!"

My voice reverberated through the room, filled with raw anger, anger I didn't even know still existed inside me. I was tired, exhausted from carrying all the answers that no one, not even I, wanted to hear.

"Because I... I was trying to live. We all were. I was trying to protect everyone. No one else could do what had to be done, and I was the only one with the courage to go all the way! I saw the naked, brutal reality! I saw what the world really is… and I did what I had to do!"

The words poured out in a torrential flood, an outpouring that consumed me as I spoke. Each syllable felt heavy, and the weight of those words made my body tremble.

"And I… I am the only one to blame for all of this!"

'Yes, I am the only one to blame…'

"I wanted to protect us all."

"No one asked for this, I know." I sighed sarcastically, a bitter laugh escaping my lips, as if that confession were just another cruel irony of fate.

'Yes, no one really asked for it.'

"But... would you be able to handle it if I told you one of us betrayed us? One of us wanted our end? One of us longed for the destruction of everything we built? One of us… One of us went mad? That one of us went mad, and the only option was to end their life?"

'Maybe they would, but... too bad we'll never know.'

My voice, heavy with helplessness and frustration, reverberated through the room. Each word felt like a blow, not just against those listening, but mostly against myself. I knew nothing would change. I knew the wounds I'd caused would never be healed. Still, I felt the need to speak, to expose the truth that suffocated me, even if it was pointless.

"At least this way, maybe I can relieve a little of my pain."

That was the lie I told myself, an empty comfort in the midst of the storm. Inside, I was erupting. Emotions piled up, pressing against me, exploding in waves I could barely contain. The weight of it all was crushing, suffocating, as if an entire world was on my shoulders.

What more was there to say? How could I justify the unjustifiable? There were no easy answers, only the black abyss of my guilt, growing and spreading with every passing second, consuming everything around it.

After my words, an absolute silence filled the room. For an entire minute, no one dared to speak. Time seemed to stretch, each second turning into an eternity.

Then, breaking the silence, the first voice spoke again. This time, I could look directly into it´s eyes.

"######... You… You never even… gave us that chance."

Their face, paler than usual, was full of sadness, pity, and disappointment, but strangely, it´s voice was warm, completely different from their previous cold state. I could see myself in the reflection of their golden eyes, as if the mirror of it´s expression reflected all the emptiness I carried inside me.

'Pitiful,' I thought, as I gazed at my pathetic state, and the weight of their words sank into my chest.

I didn't know how to respond. What could I say? How could I defend my actions when the reality of everything I'd done seemed to spill over me, turning every excuse into something pitiful?

"You never even gave us the chance to do anything..." It continued, the pain and disappointment in it´s eyes cutting into me like a sharp blade.

'And what could you have done?' I wanted to scream, but for some reason, as soon as the words opened, my mouth snapped shut again.

What was left, after all, besides shame and loss?

'Maybe... if I… Forget it #####, it's just delusions of something that will never see the light of this world.' My mind was a wreck, filled with regret, but also with an unrepentant attitude for the decisions I had made.

What was left for someone who knew they couldn't go back, but still tried to justify the unjustifiable?

"Not to mention, because of this, ###### died too," the third voice said, looking directly into my eyes.

Those words were like a punch to the stomach, and even though I had already been carrying that fact, hearing it again, so brutally, made the weight of the guilt unbearable.

I already knew, of course. I knew that their death was one of the inevitable costs of this chain of choices and betrayals, but hearing it like this, directly, turned the sorrow into something even more painful.

The second voice approached me and, with pity, stared into my eyes.

"You know #####, I don't blame you for ######'s death, I believe it's the same with the others, maybe."

Their expression hardened, and with fury and helplessness, they continued. "But yes, for the fact that you kept it all this time, for the fact that you didn't trust us, when you always claimed we should trust you. For the fact that you didn't say a single word when it involved all of us."

"###### made a mistake... a huge, impossible mistake. But... #####, you made a bigger one."

His face was set with an expression I had never seen before, their green eyes emanating a mixture of pity and melancholy, combined with fury and helplessness.

"#####, you killed one of us, and caused the death of another," the third voice cut in, its brown eyes and robust face clashing with the pain and despair that shone through their tone and expression. As they set me back on the ground and released my collar, they continued, "And that… that can't be erased."

I swallowed hard, trying to find words, but my throat felt dry. What could I say? That it was all a mistake? That the intentions were good, but the actions failed? There were no more excuses, no justifications that made sense.

What remained was only the echo of a name and the memory of an irreparable loss.

"I didn't want this… it wasn't supposed to be this way..." My voice faltered, and the words evaporated into the air.

'Yes, I really didn't want... this to happen,' I thought, the pain of admitting that consuming every part of me.

"But it's what happened," the third voice interrupted, striking my face with more force, now cold and solemn. "And it's what you'll have to live with."

'I didn't ask for this.' One last time, the phrase echoed in my mind, so close now, yet still distant.

'Where did it all go wrong?' My mind, still reeling from the events, turning over my memories, replaying my actions and the crime I had committed.

'Ah, it must have been when we...' Decided to leave that day.

'Who would have imagined… that such a decision' Would lead us to death.