Double Jade's fate

Summer ends. The white snow returns. I watch the seasons pass for so long that I'm not sure what time but one thing i know is that I'm trap in the Xian mansion. 

Even though i have everything. I'm not entirely happy. Sometimes i lay on the couch, i think back of the past what i will do whenever it snows. In that little house, my granny and i will be stroking the fire. Keeping it alive. Sometimes Cheng'er will pop by with hot food for us. Three of us will hurler together to keep warm. As kids we are not suppose to drink but granny will allow us a cup on winter solstice. Since it's the longest, coldest and darkest night of the year. The alcohol will keep us warm and happy. We will be wrapped in very thick clothes too. As we get older, the alcohol cup becomes a medium size soup bowl. Cheng'er walks home every night with a fire torch in hand.

"Don't worry. i know my way. I can walk with or without this snow to your place and back to mine."

"We should live near. So that it will be safe for you and me."

"I will ask mother another day. Maybe if you marry me, it will be safer for us together." 

We always talk about marriage and the future that we want to have together. Both of us are not afraid of working hard. I like that he is honest and cheerful. He had a wide smile like a cat. When he smiles his eyes disappear He doesn't have a buff body like those soldiers but he do have a nice lean body. He is thoughtful, polite and helpful to everyone. There is no one who doesn't like him. His hair is always in a mess so every year before the Lunar New Year, he will cut his hair short and comb it. After that his hair is grow out and he looks wild and mess-up. Most of the time, he will have some grass or twigs in his messy hair. It doesn't bother him at all because i will be getting them out for him and when his tie is loose, i will just tie it up again after we finish our field work. 

When he tear his clothes his mother will patch it for him. While every Lunar New Year, i will go to the nearest city to purchase new clothes for him and his mother. Somehow, i never question Granny Li who always seems to have money to buy new clothes for all of us. Even a whole pig and two chickens to feast on. Even winter with the snow we always have enough of everything. 

We are always happy and content with everything we have. We spend our days never to argue. Never getting angry. Everything is perfect. Every evening in spring and summer, after field work, both of us will walk around the field to find a nice spot to sit and enjoy watching the sun go down. I always ask him

"Why me? There are plenty of girls around to choose from"

"Because you never say I'm an idiot who have nothing. You don't laugh at me saying i am stupid. Even my mother says i'm dumb but you never say means things to me. Besides that you enjoy running around with me. No matter it rains or shine, i can only see you by my side. The only wish i have is to have a family with you. I will work hard for it to happen. I am saving everyday too. Even it's not a lot may take a long time. You just have to be patient and wait for me. " 

Four years have passed. I did not send any message back to him. He can't read nor does he know where to look for me. He probably should give up and marry any of those girls in the village. I have begin to live my life as Su Shung Yu. I don't know how long will i stay marry for my sister or how long can this secret be wrap up in. One thing i know for now, i will not make the dingbat angry at those little things. Instead when he is calm and a reasonable state of mind, i will ask for a divorce. It is the best for me and my sister. She will understand too.