Dog of War

We're fucked. We're so fucking fucked. We are straight up cooked.

 

Their heart continued to pound in their chest. Whatever she had been missing in order to pull them apart, she certainly had it now. Miss Verdun had the xenodrugs to pull everything out of them and rewire them at will. Their breathing grew ragged, they might not be getting domesticated now, but one dose of Class D and-

 

Miss Verdun sighed, and they yelped as they felt a sting- what did she just give them?! "I said not to worry yourself, Princess." 

 

They felt a calm, serene wave wash over them and their body felt a bit loose. Oh, it was just some class E, that was fine. But the wave didn't stop, instead intensifying and continuing to bury their anxieties. Stars, that was a lot of Class E. There was still a faint, wrong feeling that sat in their chest, but it would slip away from them the moment it came to mind. Tears continued to well up regardless

 

"You're doing great Princess, we're almost there. Are the new Class Es treating you well?" 

 

They felt a fuzzy warmth when Miss Verdun spoke. They were doing good! It was nice to know she wasn't mad at them. They nodded, afraid that speaking would lead to a breakdown. 

 

"Good girl." 

 

That made them try to curl up in embarrassment, only succeeding in squirming in Miss Verdun's vines.  

 

"I want you to focus on your breathing, okay?" Now that they could do. "In." They drew in slowly, taking in as much air as their lungs can hold. "Hold... Good. Now, slowly, out." They exhaled, letting the air seep from their lungs instead of forcing it out. The exercise continued, "In... Hold... Out... In... Hold... Out... Good girl. In..." It was nice. Meditative, really. Each time the cycle repeated that wrongness faded, and sunk away. What had they been upset about again? There was something that they needed to worry about, right? 

 

"Very good, Princess, you did so well. We're home." The praise made them feel funny but something about the use of the word 'home' had them on the verge of tears again. "Oh dear, just a moment more, okay?" They nodded, and heard the sound of the door slide open, and then closed again. 

 

"Is she okay? What happened?" The mechanical voice made them tense up just before another wave washed the feeling away.

 

Miss Verdun sighed. "She's had a rough day and is a bit rattled, but she'll be fine." A chime followed. They were being set down now, vines cautiously lowered them onto the couch, and they felt relief. The Affini sat next to them, giving them a bit of much needed space, "Okay, Princess, what happened?"

 

"I-" They opened their mouth on instinct, and drew a blank. Forcing the gears in their head to turn they tried to recall why they nearly had a breakdown. It was something... with Miss Verdun... 

 

Oh. The odd feelings, the xenodrugs, and her desire to own them. "Uhm- that's-" it was hard to get stressed through the powerful Class E, but it didn't make the prospect of confronting Miss Verdun palatable. "I-I'm sorry. I can't." They were trembling, they felt so pathetic, so-

 

Weak . 

 

Miss Verdun smiled. "That's okay dear, I thought this might happen." Movement from the Affini. The Class E was dulling their reflexes; they felt the prick before they could react. "There you go, you should find it a bit easier to speak now."

 

They could feel it, something in them was shifting as the drug took its effect. They wanted to cry again. This was it, it was over, wasn't it? Miss Verdun would find out how much of a monster they were, or that they had been planning to escape, or any number of things and they would be domesticated. Maybe if they didn't speak at all, they could wait it out? It was their only out.

 

"You need to use your words, Princess." 

 

Just like that, the last thread they had been holding on by snapped, and the floodgates burst open. "Everything feels so weird now! We don't understand anything we're feeling anymore and the few things we do are bad! We're feeling guilty about things we did that we never really cared about before, and we betrayed the crew and we feel so helpless ! We want our old self back! We want to leave! We need to be alone so we can relax! We can't take all this constant attention and the doting and being treated like we're glass and all the collars everywhere and- and- We don't wanna be a pet! We can't be property again! And we know you plan on- on..." Their voice caught as they realized what they had done. Their OpSec had been broken, exactly as they feared. They trembled, and tears were streaming down their face. "We should have never come here..." 

 

"Shhh," There was a shift in the air, there was... some kind of music playing in the distance? A melodic humming sound that nearly sang. They felt a faint prick. "It's okay Princess, just focus on your breathing, and my voice. In... Hold... Out... In...Hold... Out..." It was easy to listen to her, and like before they quickly felt the worry bleed away. There was a shift in tone they heard with each order, and it helped them fall into rhythm. Everything seemed so far away as they drifted off, following along, "In... Hold... Out... You're safe here. In... Hold... Out... No one here wants to hurt you. In... Hold... Out..." Slowly they drifted back to consciousness, Miss Verdun wiping the tears off their face. "Very good, Princess, you did good telling me all that."

 

There was that tickly, bubbling feeling again. It was much easier to resist this time. "So, uhm, what now?" The ball was out of their court. The ball was so far out of their court they had yet to discover the planet the ball was on. 

 

"You said a lot of things that need to be properly addressed, and we simply can't get to everything right away." Miss Verdun sighed, then contemplated for a few moments, "I would like to give you a Class B, so that you won't remember this conversation. That way we can work on them one by one. I'll also be putting you on Class Es until we can get you working with a therapist and feeling better. Then we are going to have another conversation you can remember, and I may make a few adjustments with a Class H."

 

"Are you gonna domesticate us?" They sniffled. Between the Class E doing its work and Miss Verdun's calming nature, the raw, aching feeling was healing quickly. They barely registered the pang of fear from the mention of Class H.

 

The pause felt far longer than it actually was. "No, little one, not for this. You've had a rather difficult day and need help."

 

"But you want to..."

 

A vine gently directed them to look up at her. Miss Verdun was smiling, and there was something warm in her eyes. They couldn't place exactly what it was, but it glowed with desire, and threatened to swallow them entirely. "Princess, I would love nothing more than if you were mine. I would fill all your days with as much love, joy and fulfillment as possible. You would make me the happiest Affini in all the Compact, and all of this pain will be a forgotten dream." Their face flushed. She had meant that. How could anyone say something like that and mean it? What the hell did they ever do to make her happy? "However, I won't force you into it prematurely. Not unless you absolutely need to be. You asked for a chance and I would like to give you that chance, even if I think it's misguided, because I love you. Does that help?" 

 

They nodded, "Y-yeah." Fuck, were they really about to cry again? Just because Miss Verdun said she loved them? 

 

"I'm glad to hear that." Miss Verdun retracted the vine. "I would like to administer the Class B now, but before I do, can you be a good girl and answer me one final question?"

 

They fidgeted; between all the 'Good Girl's and the 'Princess's it almost felt more notable when they weren't blushing furiously. "What is it?"

 

"Who's 'we?'"

 

- _-_-_-

 

 

They blinked awake. They were on the couch, in the Hab, sitting next to Miss Verdun. When did they get home? They vaguely remember saying bye to Daisy, and they were upset about something, and then...

 

"Princess?" Miss Verdun's voice snapped them to the present.  

 

"Sorry! I think I... passed out?" They had been tired.

 

Miss Verdun smiled in that particular way she did when recounting something they did she thought was cute. It was a slight thing, almost dignified if it weren’t so smug. "Yes, you dozed off in my vines on the way home. It was absolutely adorable." 

 

Ridiculous! Sure they had grown a bit... accustomed to being held, and her vines were decently comfortable, but falling asleep? They were supposed to be vigilant. "My apologies, I must have been more tired than I thought." 

 

"It's nothing to apologize for, Princess," said Miss Verdun. "In fact, that brings us to what I wanted to talk to you about- the incident at lunch wasn't your fault." 

 

Ah, right. Sawyer. He was probably being pried open by Affini right now, if he hadn't already been. "I'm not saying the incident is my fault, just that if I had performed the move correctly neither of us would have been injured."

 

Miss Verdun shook her head. "I know you feel guilty and like you betrayed the crew, and it's clear you blame yourself for little Nick's domestication."

 

The words poked through the only defense they had. "That's- l just-" The Affini was growing worryingly astute. Did they even have secrets anymore? There were a few that must be safe, if they were still talking. 

 

"It's okay Princess, just breathe." 

 

They inhaled. "I knew it would happen, that a lot of the crew would be domesticated. It's... different to actually see it." They fidgeted.

 

"I know you requested wardships for everyone when you got here, and we've done our best to give those where we can." They had? That was... well, if their own experience was anything to go by, it wasn't much better than being sent straight in. They had a chance, though, and that was the best any of them could ever hope for. "Even if we put that aside, you arrived with a crew of less than two fifty when you departed with over seven hundred. I'm sure there are those thankful to be out of that situation. Plus, there was that attack they were planning, right? If you didn't stop it, none of them would be alive to even try for independence." 

 

Those weren't awful points, but it didn't make them feel much better about it. People were being made property, and they had a hand in it. "I suppose... it's just-" In... Hold... Out... "It brings up unpleasant memories." 

 

Miss Verdun’s vines kneaded as a few flowers closed. "I'm aware your past experiences make being here difficult. I just want you to know that no Affini would ever treat you like that. Florets are our treasures."

 

They had seen that much at least. The Affini were by and large the biggest softies they had ever met when it came to physical violence. That only made them more dangerous; there was more than one way to die. "I know you wouldn't treat me like the company did, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it every time I'm confronted with the prospect of being owned."

 

The Affini shifted uncomfortably. "I know. I won't make you talk about what happened, not right now. However, I do want you to know I'm very proud of you for facing your fears like this. That takes a lot of strength."

 

Miss Verdun's acknowledgement and praise was like a salve, and their fears abated. However, there was still something nagging at them. "I'm still upset about failing to disarm Sawyer properly. That sort of thing was my entire life, I never would have messed that up before."

 

Miss Verdun tapped a vine to her face. "Isn't that for the best? After all, you're trying to move past that, right? Don't you want to prove you have more to offer than violence?"

 

The words caught them off guard. It would be difficult to prove they had changed enough to be safely let out into the compact if they insisted on still running drills. Surely they could be more than just a weapon. "You have a point, but it still feels like I'm losing something important. I was a mercenary for a long time. I don't really have anything else." 

 

"Well since you're trying to start a new chapter of your life, why not try a few new hobbies or volunteering somewhere?" Miss Verdun smiled. "You don't even have to be good at it as long as you enjoy yourself."

 

They hummed. It's not like they had planned on doing nothing in retirement either. "I'll see about taking a look at a few tomorrow. Uh," they cleared their throat, "thanks. For all the support that is. I know I've been a mess lately." 

 

Miss Verdun stood up and smiled down at them, in that way that made me feel bubbly. "I'm always happy to help you, Princess. In fact, I think you deserve a special treat after dinner." 

 

"Oh?" They perked up at the thought of another berry. Stars, those things were good. 

 

Miss Verdun giggled. "Not that kind of treat cutie, it's a surprise." The thought of an Affini surprise was a bit worrisome, but it seemed like something trivial to get worked up about. "May I carry you to the dinner table?"

 

They should say no. Normally they would. It's not like they couldn't walk the about two dozen paces, and it would only encourage her to keep treating them like a pet, but they still found themselves nodding their head. There was a warm vibration that permeated the air as Miss Verdun picked them up, taking care to let them see the vines as they approached. Being carried like this didn't feel all that odd, suddenly. Well, as long as it was Miss Verdun holding them, at least. Maybe they really did fall asleep on the way home.

 

They were carefully set down in their usual chair, Miss Verdun's vines pulling away slowly. "There you go. Sorry, I didn't have time to make anything myself, so it'll have to be compiled. Hmmm," she took out her pad and scrolled through, "I don't suppose you'd be alright with me feeding you?" 

 

"No." It would take a lot more than just one hand out of commission for that to be palatable.

 

"Yeah, I didn't think so." Miss Verdun hummed, thinking, "Something you can eat one handed... Ah! This seems good." After a few taps, the compiler beeped. She retrieved a bowl from within and set it in front of them. 

 

It was a reddish brown, with round and chunky lumps in the... broth? Sauce? It smelled strange. "What is this?"

 

"It is 'chili,' or a rather mild version of it at least. It's predominantly beans, with some meat and a selection of spices, so it has a good deal of variety to it. If you like it, I can try to make a few." Miss Verdun puzzled over something. "I'm not sure what makes it cold if the dish is served hot. Maybe you are supposed to eat it if you are cold?"

 

They chuckled at the misunderstanding, taking the spoon they were provided and stirring the bowl. It was nice to remember that despite all their grandstanding, the Affini did have flaws. "I don't think it's referencing the temperature, Miss Verdun."

 

Miss Verdun appeared to glow for a moment. "It's nice to hear you laugh again, Princess." 

 

There was that weird tickly bubbling again that threatened to make them grin like a fool. Quickly, they shoved a bite into their mouth to force it out. The chili tasted a lot better than it looked, hearty and carrying a rich flavor. They had no idea what Miss Verdun had apologized for, the compiler seemed more than apt for making food. "Thanks for the food." 

 

The Affini laughed. "Well I didn't make it, but you're quite welcome." 

 

"It's just manners, Miss Verdun." They continued to eat, methodically chewing the soft food to savor its taste before swallowing. Even if she hadn't made it, she still picked it out with care and set it on the table for them. That alone was more than anyone had ever done for them before. 

 

Miss Verdun hummed. "You've always taken great care to be polite, haven't you?" 

 

They paused in the middle of digging out another bite. "Something I picked up after a few years of work. You can burn a bridge in a moment, but building one takes time. It's best to have as many people in your corner as you can." 

 

"That's a fairly admirable way to think for someone that lived in the Accord." 

 

They slowed their chewing. It's not like they hadn't burned more than a few bridges, or worse. Just that they had learned to practice caution. Angering the wrong person had consequences, after all. They swallowed. "Thanks, I think."

 

A vine stopped them as they went to take another bite. "I mean it; it's easy to let yourself be cruel to others when you've been hurt."

 

"Right..." They had certainly been cruel in the past. If Miss Verdun knew, she wouldn't say something so feckless.

 

We are a weapon.

 

Any topic would be better than this. "So you said you had something for me after?" 

 

"Ah!" Miss Verdun lit up, her vines lashing in anticipation. "Well that's a surprise for later, I wouldn't want to spoil it~" They did not like how excited she looked. Almost certainly some more pet shit she intended to press them into. 

 

Hadn't we had enough for the day? 

 

Well, it's not like there was much hope dissuading the Affini when she got set on something. With any luck it wouldn't be too bad. They finished the last of the chili, and set the spoon back into the bowl. "Could you-?"

 

Miss Verdun was at their side in an instant."Help you down? Of course." Her vines slowed before they actually reached them, letting them see them before helping them down. She had been getting better about not just grabbing them at least. "Why don't you go brush your teeth and get ready for your bath? I'll be along in a moment."

 

What did she need time for? There weren't any dishes from cooking. Probably something for her 'surprise.' Whatever, any time they got alone was good. Being around the Affini so much today was starting to get to them. "Sure," they shrugged before leaving. 

 

The mirrors in the bathroom were thankfully darkened. They didn't look great before all that mess, and doubtlessly looked awful now. It felt like they had been crying all day, though they couldn't recall actually doing so at any point. At least the toothbrush and paste was kept in reach, no absurd three meter high shelf to force them to depend on Miss Verdun. 

 

They wet the brush and applied the paste, taking the temporary relief to gather their thoughts. Miss Verdun wanted them, which wasn't good, but it also was apparent she wasn't going to just domesticate them out of the blue. As long as they didn't let their panic get the best of them, and kept working on their issues, she would likely stay her hand. Being treated like an animal was demeaning, and brought up memories they had gone through a lot of pain to bury, but it's not like they were being beaten. All they needed to do was relax a little, and they could get through this with their sanity and independence intact.

 

They spat into the sink, and rinsed off the brush, placing it back with a sigh. They had come here with some expectations of these issues, of course. That they would have to be ready for anything, and adapt their tactics as they went. They had been wholly unprepared, and constantly defending shrinking ground. They were running out of non-critical positions. That they lost their professional composure certainly didn't help matters. Everything had started to slip away after that. 

 

Pulling their arms through, and then pulling the hoodie up, they began to get undressed. It wasn't easy with the mitt the vet stuck on them; what a ridiculous level of care for a simple cut. The shirt soon followed, and they took a moment to appreciate the patchwork. Every scar echoed its memory. Permanent reminders that they had been through much worse. Even the Affini couldn't take those, at least. 

 

The sight of their bare chest also made them recall the projection Miss Verdun had shown. There was... a sense of disappointment? What had they even expected to find? 

 

Something else?

 

All that 'Princess' and 'Good Girl' stuff had to be messing with their head. They couldn't even recall it without blushing a little. There had to be more than just kind of liking it, right? 

 

They pulled down the sweats and underwear in one swift movement; the sooner this was over the sooner they could push this out of mind. 

 

"Hello cutie, are you ready for your treat?" They nearly jumped out of their skin. They had been too preoccupied with the foreign feelings towards their body to hear the door open behind them. Their foot caught in the legs of the sweats, and they nearly fell over as Miss Verdun caught them, sweeping them into her arms with fluid motion. "Careful now, Princess. Wouldn't want you to get hurt." Her warm smile made their heart flutter even more than the stupid nickname. "This is a reward after all." They heard the waterfall begin to fill the bath. 

 

"S-so," they stammered before clearing their throat, "what is it?" 

 

"First I'm going to give you some Class E," They felt the poke as Miss Verdun stepped into the tub, "then I am going to wash you, and for being such a good girl for me today, I am going to use Class A soaps and give you a massage."

 

Wait, what?! They struggled fruitlessly in her vines, "Absolutely not! You can't just decide to-!"

 

Miss Verdun pressed a massive digit to their lips, silencing them. She had that hungry look in her eyes, the one that threatened to consume them. "I assure you, little one, as your Guardian I most certainly can. You need help to properly wash up, and you need to de-stress after a taxing day." Each inflicted word pressed itself into them as the Class E began to take hold, and they felt the concern start to fade. "This lets us address both." They needed this.

 

They nodded, unsure exactly why. Well, it's not like they had any way to stop her, and weren't they just talking about how they needed to relax themselves? In... Hold... Out... something distant reminded them as they were lowered into the water. It was pleasantly warm, almost bordering on hot, and they could feel some of their tension ease. 

 

"Don't worry Princess, I won't touch your neck, or between your legs. This is a reward, and I want you to relax ." They felt another bit of tension leave as she soothed them. Wait, didn't she say this was because they couldn't properly wash themselves? Surely not being able to wash an arm and a few square inches of their back was worse. "Hold." They stopped breathing as warm water cascaded over them, "Very good." Wait, did they just- the thought was cut short as vines began to lather shampoo into their scalp.

 

Oh, stars. Biting their lip was the only thing that kept them from gasping, but nothing could stop them from quaking in pleasure. It was as if she knew exactly where to rub and press. "If you think this is good, wait until the Class As kick in." Miss Verdun whispered in their ear. As though on cue, a warm fuzzy feeling began to spread from their scalp, making everything far more intense, and far more pleasurable. 

 

The warm water that had been pleasant before was now exquisite as it gently lapped against them. Focusing was impossible when every sensation was bordering on erotic. "Hold." They paused their breathing as warm water was poured over them, eliciting a whimper. "Good girl~" Miss Verdun praised, pressing into their scalp again to rub in the conditioner. 

 

They could hold it no longer, it didn't matter anymore. They felt themselves grin stupidly, as they began to pant with pleasure, the occasional moan as she pressed into certain places. There was something else stirring deep within; they were being touched, and for the first time in their life, it didn't feel wrong. "It's okay dear, you can let it out. You are safe here." 

 

Let it out? Oh, they were crying. Weird, they weren't sad, or at least didn't feel sad. Their skin was crying out too- for Miss Verdun. They needed to feel her against their skin, to be touched, stroked, pet. Even the lightest brush felt so good now as the Class As continued to intensify. They gasped out as a vine pressed into their shoulder muscles, and stars filled their vision as another moan escaped. 

 

"Goodness little one, you are extremely tense. Well, don't worry, we'll fix it. Be a good girl and just let go for me okay?" Well... They weren't really a girl... but maybe... they could... pretend for a little. Just for a while. As a treat. They let go of the last bit of tension they had been hanging onto, allowing themselves to melt into Miss Verdun. More vines pressed into their shoulders and back, causing them to scream out as an explosion of pleasure cut their vision temporarily. "Good girl." 

 

Nothing else mattered anymore. The whole of the universe had little more to offer that they didn't already have here, in this moment. "Very good, Princess~"

 

They wept openly now, full sobs causing streams of tears to form. No one had ever given them anything this nice, no one had ever been this kind. Why? Why was it some insufferable overgrown xeno weed? It didn't make any sense. None of it made any sense. The only thing they could even think about was how good it felt as she lathered up the luffa and began to scrub.

 

The texture of the luffa as it went up their arm made their voice hitch as it caught on a moan. Their skin cried out for more as soon as it finished passing over, its texture felt amazing amplified by the xenodrugs. As it went back down, it satiated the need for a moment, before traveling back upwards. Once the arm was fully scrubbed up and lathered, Miss Verdun lowered it into the water and moved on to the next. The warm water felt even better on the freshly exfoliated surface. All the while the vines massaging their shoulders and back slowed to a maddening pace. 

 

They were supposed to hate this, weren't they? Something deep down said they should. They couldn't imagine how anyone would, but they couldn't properly think anymore either. They were little more than Miss Verdun's plaything as she continued to massage, scrub and praise them. Each time she whispered something along the lines of "Good girl" or "You are doing lovely, Princess" their mind grew fuzzier. As it faded, something else was replacing it. That buzzing-humming sound was getting louder, and clearer, and more song-like. It was like... a marching drum in a way. They could feel what it wanted from them, and it wanted them to let it in. 

 

So they did. What a wonderful decision they had made, now they not only felt everything, but they could hear it in the music just beforehand, just long enough for anticipation to set in. It wanted to praise them- "Ohhh, very good Princess~" 

 

They couldn't help but grin like a fool. The pleasure from getting praised by both Miss Verdun and the music was simply too much. Their brain was melting now to join the goo that was the rest of their body. It wanted them to hold on- "You've done so well, just a moment longer." It wanted them to hold their breath. Warm water was poured over them slowly, as vines scrubbed into their scalp one last time, rinsing out the conditioner. They could breathe now- they took a deep, steady breath as vines cradled them, lifting them up out of the water. They barely registered the poke as Miss Verdun began to dry them off with the softest towels they had ever felt.

 

The intense needy feeling slowly faded, and their head cleared, leaving only the utterly relaxed state they had attained. As what transpired dawned on them, they found it hard to really care. They hadn't any strength to get angry about Miss Verdun forcing Class As on them, and why would they even want to? It was the best thing that had ever happened to them. 

 

"I'm going to dress you, okay petal?" 

 

They hummed in response. They didn't have strength for that anyways. Right now, it would be shocking if they were even able to stand on their own. Their muscles had relaxed too much, and failed to respond now. All the tension had been wrung out and they were left spent. That was okay though, they were safe for now. Miss Verdun was taking care of them. She finished drying them off and pulled a pair of panties onto them- purple this time, with a hint of frill. They were pretty cute, honestly, and felt nice on their skin. A pajama top and bottom followed, light pink, with a small embroidered flower accenting where the shirt pocket would be. 

 

"Is everything comfortable?" 

 

"M-hm." They hummed, their eyes shut as they began to doze off. They had never felt even half this relaxed in their entire life. They could hardly stay awake, but that ever fading beat was asking them to hold on again. 

 

Miss Verdun stroked her hand through their hair. It was no longer the jolt of raw pleasure it had been while on the class A, but it wasn't bad either. It was okay? "I'm happy to hear that. Now let's get you to bed." Bed sounded absolutely wonderful right now. They felt the faint sway of Miss Verdun carrying them for a few moments, before they were gently lowered into the plush mattress and tucked in. They felt a poke, "I love you, Princess. Goodnight." A new feeling stirred in their chest when she said that. It was in their heart, but instead of being fluttery, it was deeper, warm and full.

 

Thank fuck the Class Z knocked them out before they could process it.