Does Spring Come Even for a Dying Esper

“Suddenly? For what?”

Iberis blinked at Lucas’s words, which seemed to come out of nowhere after he had withdrawn his hand.

“You stopped Major Norris from attacking me in the conference room, didn’t you?”

“Ah… I thought it was something else.”

Realizing Lucas was talking about restraining Carlos, Iberis brushed it off as if it were nothing.

“That’s only natural. You’re my subordinate and guide, as well as my personal physician. Even if you had really done something wrong, other unit commanders don’t have the authority to punish you.”

Lucas’s expression became peculiar at Iberis’s words. For a moment, an indescribable emotion welled up in his chest. It felt like soap bubbles rising and expanding.

‘Luke.’

Was it because Iberis had called his name several times today? He felt like he had taken a step closer to him. Lucas thought it sounded better when Iberis called him by his alias rather than “Captain.” He also liked how Iberis had started using more casual language, saying “you” instead of the formal “you” occasionally. Though Iberis probably wasn’t aware of it himself.

Come to think of it, they had also talked about his father today.

Lucas’s eyes hardened slightly as he recalled their conversation during breakfast. While it was shocking to learn that his father might have manipulated records, hearing Iberis talk about him had been touching.

Would they be sad if they knew their nickname for him had become his alias?

Lucas was briefly lost in thoughts of his parents before Iberis’s next words pulled him out of his melancholy.

“Although some parts might have been excessive, what you said wasn’t wrong…”

Iberis trailed off, glancing at Lucas’s face before letting out a small sigh. Then, he raised his voice slightly as if feeling a bit frustrated.

“This might sound unpleasant, but… Captain, since you were born good-looking and pretty, why don’t you use your appearance a bit? Instead of speaking harshly with that stiff face like earlier, if you smile brightly and speak gently, I think everyone would listen without needing to fight.”

Iberis advised, recalling Lucas’s smile from a few days ago. The destructive power of that smile, which had completely captivated him for a moment, was truly remarkable. It still came to mind occasionally.

“Am I good-looking and pretty?”

“I don’t like commenting on other people’s appearances, but objectively speaking, you have a handsome and pretty face.”

“I’m curious if you personally like it, not just objectively.”

“Why?”

“Because I might become your partner in the future. If that happens, we’ll be spending at least a few years together, maybe even longer. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were more things you liked about me?”

‘Together for at least a few years,’ Iberis mulled over Lucas’s words. Come to think of it, he always spoke as if Iberis wasn’t terminally ill.

Hearing him talk as if Iberis would naturally be alive years from now made his stomach churn. For the past few months, every doctor he met only told him he had little time left, but Lucas, while acknowledging the severity of his condition, never said there was no hope.

Whether he was the type of doctor who only gave positive news to patients, or if he truly believed Iberis would get better, it didn’t feel bad.

However, he still didn’t feel the urge to live somehow. Knowing how miserable and desperate it is when hope shatters, Iberis had come to think negatively about everything at some point. In this aspect, he couldn’t help but be called a coward.

This negative tendency was a kind of self-defense mechanism, knowing that if he got hurt any more, he would truly break down this time. Fear of disappointment made it difficult for him to easily hope for anything.

“Well… I think your face is nice.”

“I’m glad.”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Lucas’s fine lips curved into a smile. Iberis was momentarily lost looking at the faintly smiling Lucas. Quickly regaining his composure, he hesitantly opened his mouth.

“…What about you?”

“Pardon?”

“Do you… like my face?”

Even as he asked Lucas, Iberis didn’t expect a particularly good answer. He was well aware of his own condition. While his features were well-proportioned befitting an S-class esper, his complexion was as pale as a corpse, and his expression was always gloomy. Not to mention his lips and skin condition were terrible, and his body had become unsightly thin from being sick every day. It was an appearance that couldn’t possibly elicit positive comments.

“If I had to choose between liking it or not, of course I’d choose the former. To the point where I wonder if I have a preference for boyish looks.”

“…You’re lying.”

Iberis responded half a beat late to the unexpected words. He knew Lucas wouldn’t speak ill of his superior by calling him ugly, but he didn’t expect him to readily express his preference and say he liked it in such a way.

“I’m being sincere. Although you look young for your age… you’re cute, pretty, and handsome. I do think it would be nice if you became less sick and had a healthy complexion on your face.”

Lucas praised Iberis in his usual serious tone, making eye contact with him who couldn’t believe his words. There was no trace of deceit in his golden eyes that shone like sunlight.

Meeting those eyes, Iberis unconsciously swallowed dry. He had the strange sensation of his cheeks burning. In the end, he was the first to avert his gaze from Lucas.

“A-anyway, what I meant was that your face could be a weapon too. You know the saying about using beauty as a strategy.”

“Hmm, yes.”

Lucas responded with a somewhat reluctant expression. While he knew his face could be a weapon depending on the situation, he couldn’t help but be indifferent, having experienced many annoyances from people who approached him for his looks when he was at the central headquarters. However, he took the advice well, knowing it came from concern after his friction with the unit commanders earlier.

“I’m aware that my manner of speaking is stiff, but I’m not sure how to change it. It’s also a bit difficult for me to interact with people while smiling… But I’ll try my best.”

“Yeah, do try. Honestly, it’s only because I’m me that I’m tolerating your behavior. If it were someone else, they would have already…”

“I’m fortunate that you’re kind, Major. I guess I have good luck with superiors.”

“Huh?”

Kind? Who? Iberis widened his eyes as if he’d heard something very strange, then furrowed his brow.

“What’s with that reaction?”

“No, it’s just that you’ve been giving strange compliments…”

“Strange compliments? I’m just stating facts. If you weren’t kind-hearted, you would have rejected all the selfish requests from the unit commanders from the start.”

“Ah.”

“From what you said earlier, it seems like you knowingly let yourself be taken advantage of, is that true?”

“Well, a little bit.”

Iberis made an embarrassed expression towards Lucas, who was looking at him as if thinking, ‘How can such a pushover exist?’

“Umm, you know I was born in a defense zone, right?”

“…? Yes.”

“Living in a place like that, you know. One day you see the uncle from downstairs come back missing an arm, or the sister from next door return home covered in blood. It’s not uncommon for someone who smiled and greeted you in the morning to return as a cold corpse in the evening. No, it’s lucky if they even return like that. Many times, people just disappear suddenly, as if they’ve shot up into the sky or sunk into the ground, and you never see them again.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. When these things keep happening, people become extremely anxious even in everyday life. If your mother comes home even a little later than usual, you start worrying if she met a robber or a monster on her way home… You start imagining all sorts of things. Most people in the defense zones live like that, except for a powerful minority.”

“…”

“I accepted the support requests from the units not for the unit commanders, but for the residents of the defense zone. I know their lives.”

His gray eyes became hazy as he recalled old memories. Although he could no longer remember the faces of the sister next door or the uncle from downstairs, the emotions from that time still remained in his heart.

“I thought it was okay if the residents’ days became safer even if I had to struggle a bit. But looking at today, it seems I only made things easier for the unit commanders.”

Iberis muttered bitterly. It had been a few years since he was demoted to N-Zone, and during that time, the attitude of the unit commanders had been consistent. Inwardly, they were uncomfortable or burdened by his presence as an S-class esper, but when they needed something, they would act friendly as if nothing had happened and seek him out first. As if it was natural for him to help them. That was the extent of their relationship.

It would be a lie to say he wasn’t disillusioned with their attitude.

Making a deflating sound, Iberis felt a strange sense of relief in his chest. He couldn’t help but smile thinking about how the unit commanders had panicked, unable to even manage their expressions, when he said he wouldn’t help as before.

“Anyway, if you’re going to cause trouble in the future, give me a proper warning beforehand. I’ll let it slide this time because I know you did it for my sake, but next time, you won’t get off so easily.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“You should say ‘I understand,’ not ‘I’ll try.'”

“For things I can’t be certain about…”

“Okay, okay. I was wrong to try to win against you with words.”

Iberis waved his hand as if to say ‘enough’ and leaned back in his chair as if collapsing. He was extremely tired even though he hadn’t fought any monsters. Mentally exhausted, perhaps. He thought he wanted to just sleep like this. If it weren’t for the voice he heard next to him, he might have really closed his eyes.

“Shall we start the guiding now?”