Dishes and Desires: OP Dungeon boss wants a human life

Baelgor stormed out of the restaurant, his heavy steps rattling the ground beneath him. His crimson eyes still glowed faintly, a lingering warning to anyone foolish enough to block his path. The doors slammed open, and he disappeared into the bustling street without a single backward glance.

Yet, just a few paces behind, Cisco followed.

The con man adjusted his coat, smoothed his hair, and smiled faintly as though strolling leisurely. But in truth, his mind was sharp, his focus locked on the imposing figure ahead of him. He had already invested a fortune covering Baelgor's gluttonous binge; to walk away now would be madness. No, this was an investment, and he intended to milk every last coin out of it.

"I need to know his name, where he's from, which of the great families he belongs to," Cisco mused as his eyes flicked over Baelgor's broad shoulders and the gleam of that priceless spatial ring. "The way he flaunts that treasure, he's either a young master or the bastard son of one. Either way, he's a fool fat with inheritance. And fools like him… are my specialty."

Ahead of him, Baelgor continued his march through the streets with all the confidence of a general on the battlefield except that he had absolutely no idea where he was going. He stopped at corners, stared blankly at passing carriages, and even sniffed the air as though expecting the wind to guide him. To anyone else, he looked like a madman pretending at grandeur.

To Cisco, it was a gift from the heavens.

A smirk tugged at his lips, and laughter danced in his chest. "Look at him. A lost puppy, wandering without a clue. Oooh, this is too perfect. Ancestors, you haven't forgotten me after all, this is my reward! Truly, fortune smiles on me today."

When Baelgor paused at an intersection, looking around like an emperor surveying foreign lands, Cisco seized his chance. He stepped forward with his most disarming smile, bowed just enough to show respect, and said,

"My lord, you… look like you don't belong here?"

The words were carefully chosen gentle, deferential, and just vague enough to bait whatever delusions Baelgor held.

And they worked.

Baelgor stiffened. His eyes narrowed as he turned slowly toward Cisco, studying him anew.

"What? How does he know? Does this human… perhaps possess the Eyes of the Gods? Can he truly see through my disguise? Impossible… and yet ....!"

A flicker of unease rippled through Baelgor's heart. He prided himself on fitting perfectly into this human shell, on walking unnoticed among mortals. Yet here stood a man who had casually pierced the veil with a single sentence.

For the briefest moment, doubt gnawed at him.

But then Cisco's next words flowed out smoothly, and Baelgor relaxed instantly, his arrogance returning like the tide.

"If you do not mind, may I be of assistance to you, my lord? It would be my greatest joy," Cisco said smoothly, bowing with just the right mixture of humility and elegance. Every syllable was chosen to stroke pride, every gesture practiced to fit the image of a loyal subordinate.

His tone was honey to the ears of Baelgor.

"Hmm. So that is it," Baelgor mused, his expression softening. "The human was merely acknowledging my kingship. Of course. To think I allowed even a flicker of doubt to taint my glory… laughable. He does not suspect my origin. Instead, he recognizes my majesty. Wise, very wise for a human."

With a flick of his fingers, Baelgor beckoned Cisco closer.

Cisco's lips curved into a smile as he stepped forward, his eyes gleaming. Inside, his heart beat faster not from fear, but from excitement. "Hook, line, sinker. He bought it. Oh, ancestors, I can practically taste the coins already. This bag of gold is walking right into my arms."

Yet the moment he came within reach, Baelgor suddenly extended his hand. His palm pressed against Cisco's shoulder with the weight of a falling mountain.

A cold, suffocating force slammed into him. It wasn't physical strength alone; it was something deeper, primal like a fragment of the abyss brushing his mortal shell.

Cisco's body jolted violently. His knees threatened to buckle, his spine screamed, and before he even realized it, he leapt back, eyes wide with raw terror.

"What, what kind of power is that…!?" His breath came in sharp bursts as sweat trickled down his back. "Just a touch… just a single touch, and it sent shivers straight to my marrow. No… this isn't a pampered rich son. This is something else entirely. Could it be… the product of one of those monstrous hunter families? Just what kind of monsters are these guilds breeding!?"

Cisco's heart screamed danger, but his mind screamed profit louder. He had already invested too much to stop halfway. And he knew better than anyone, greater risks often led to greater rewards.

Baelgor, on the other hand, withdrew his hand and smiled faintly, almost indulgently.

"It is alright, human," he said, his voice calm, regal. "That will only happen once."

Cisco froze, blinking. "...Only happen once? What the hell does that even mean?"

But before he could question it further, Baelgor was already walking again, as though nothing had happened.

Cisco clenched his teeth, straightened his coat, and forced a grin back onto his face. "Doesn't matter. I've already paid so much into this gamble. To back out now would be spitting on my own fortune. No matter what this fool is, he's worth following. Even if I have to bow, crawl, or lick his boots, I'll bleed him dry."

And so, despite the lingering terror in his bones, Cisco followed Baelgor.

"My lord, if you don't mind… what is your name?" Cisco asked carefully, eyes narrowing as if to study every twitch of Baelgor's face.

The question hit Baelgor like a spear. His steps froze, his shoulders stiffened.

"Name? Damnation—I never thought of that! Curse this human custom! Dungeon rulers do not need names; we need only titles. Yet these pitiful mortals demand labels before they kneel? Hmph… I must devise something natural, something ordinary… a disguise worthy of my brilliance."

His golden eyes darted around frantically for inspiration.

And then—salvation.

Across the street, a yellow carriage rumbled by with glowing letters plastered boldly across its roof: TAXI.

"Hah! A name fit for a king. Short, sharp, commanding. Taxi… yes, this has the ring of destiny."

But Baelgor wasn't finished. He needed something to sound so convincing, then he decided that use phrase; NORMAL HUMAN.

The heavens themselves were guiding him.

Baelgor's lips curled into a smug smile. He turned to Cisco and, with all the gravity of a monarch declaring his lineage, announced:

"My name… is Taxi Normalhuman."

He puffed out his chest, utterly convinced he had performed the greatest deception in history. "Yes, flawless. No mortal alive will ever suspect the truth behind this brilliant disguise."

Cisco blinked. His jaw slackened. For a moment, he thought his ears had betrayed him.

"…Normalhuman? Did he just…?" His mind spun. Is this guy serious? Taxi Normalhuman? That's not a name, that's the kind of thing you get when a donkey kicks you in the head while you're filling out paperwork.

A strangled laugh bubbled in his throat, and he nearly choked trying to swallow it down.

"No… no, hold it together, Cisco. Keep smiling. Don't ruin the con. He's rich, he's clueless, and, by the gods above, he actually introduced himself like that with a straight face. Is he insane, or just that arrogant? Normalhuman? More like Crazyhuman!"

But outwardly, Cisco forced a respectful nod, his lips twitching as he fought for composure. "A… a fine name, my lord. Truly… unforgettable."

Baelgor beamed, completely oblivious to the sarcasm dripping from Cisco's tone. "Indeed. Soon, the world shall tremble when they hear the name Taxi Normalhuman!"

Cisco, meanwhile, was already thinking: "Oh, they'll tremble, alright. From laughter."

"Taxi Normalhuman."

Baelgor repeated the name in his head with great satisfaction, his lips curling into a smug grin.

"Yes, flawless. Taxi Normalhuman… it sounds perfectly ordinary. Ooh, Baelgor, you've outdone yourself again. No one will ever suspect you're anything but a regular mortal."

He even let out a low snicker, chest swelling with pride.

Cisco, however, was staring at him with the expression of a man who had just witnessed a chicken declare itself emperor of the world. His thoughts churned like boiling oil.

"Taxi… Normalhuman? Who in the nine hells bears a name like that? It doesn't sound human—it sounds like he's trying too hard to prove he's human. That's not a name, that's a confession! Normalhuman? More like Crazyhuman."

Suppressing the urge to burst into laughter, Cisco bowed slightly and asked carefully, "My lord… is that truly your name?"

The words hit Baelgor like thunder. His expression hardened, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"What!? He's questioning me? Impossible! No mortal could see through such a perfect disguise. Unless… unless he's not a mere human at all. Could he be… an agent of the Dungeon Creator!? Yes, that must be it! Only the overseer of dungeons would dare plant spies into the human realm to hunt me down. How else could he possibly pierce my flawless cover?"

Baelgor's aura quivered, the faint ripple of dungeon energy crackling in the air around him. His fingers twitched as he steadied his hand, preparing to strike at the supposed "spy."

"I must silence him. If he reports my escape, everything will be ruined. Better to erase him now, before he can betray me."