Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food

Chapter 30 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (9): Dog food should be distributed openly without fear!

Translator: KunLin

Editors: Amaris, Grump, Mimishijie

======《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》Holo Broadcast Day 1 · Entering and settling in the wilderness island↓↓======

The fans watched as My Feng and the group entered the wild island that was dense with vegetation with the guidance of the island owner. Twirling the sunglasses in his hand, entirely unencumbered, the island owner said, “Those with their pants rolled up, it’s best if you let them down first. Also, fasten your pants, sleeves, and jackets tightly otherwise if something crawls into them later… it would be troublesome, oh.”

He said it in a carefree tone, his smile resplendent; however, the others all felt a chill down their backs, including the audience.

The others nervously checked themselves. In contrast, the expression of My Feng, who was carrying two big pieces of luggage, was cold and aloof; however, he very considerately stepped forth and asked the island owner, “Little Fool, I’ll walk in front, okay?”

The bullet screen under his microphone had already exploded into dust!

“My Feng is actually helping someone carry their luggage! Who is he, who is he!”

“I’m also mad curious! Seeking enlightenment from experts!”

“Mai Tao, a newly signed WE artist, has worked together with My Feng on a show called 《Agent of War》 that has yet to air, a WE livestreamer. Currently No.940 on the blue list… Although his rank is the lowest among this time’s participants, since he’s the island’s owner… fine, I accept!”

“Are newbie stars these days all local tyrants?”

“Little Fool?”

“Ai, my god, look at the island owner’s big dimples. This nickname is very cute, don’t you think so!”

“When My Feng called him Little Fool, how could he be so gentle!”

“I have long known that underneath My Feng’s cold appearance was a fiery and soft heart, but—I want to be the island owner, ah ah ah ah!”

“My Feng seems to treat him specially ah, why is that! I’m dying from curiosity!”

“Haha, don’t you guys feel that the two of them give off a very strong CP feeling?”

“The CP fans, scram! My Feng won’t be in a CP with other people, ne!”

“My Feng is truly a gentleman, like the big brother next door~~~”

……

======《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》 Holo image of the scene, Day 1 ↓↓======

Pushing apart the wild grass that grew taller than their waists.

Six people walked single file, standing about a meter apart from each other.

Gou Liang walked at the very front with He ChongFeng right behind him. Following behind them were Su Chu, Zhang QiaoYi, and Ming Xing with his eye-catching height. Walking at the very back was Cheng Bei, who looked very reliable.

It was unknown what species of grass this was; not only was it tall, the edges of the sawtooth leaves were sharp, making them look especially menacing.

As the only girl, Su Chu walked in the middle but, because her height was the shortest, she was buried in the heap of wild grass and only the top of her head was visible. She wrapped her shawl tightly over her face, revealing only a pair of eyes, but even so the wild grass that occasionally hit her face still felt painful. It was only when they were halfway through that Zhang QiaoYi volunteered to help her carry her luggage and she was not so miserable anymore.

Amidst the sound of wild grass being slapped aside, Su Chu couldn’t help but ask, “Island Owner, how much longer until we arrive, ah?”

She kneaded her sore arm and switched hands, using a stick to brush aside the underbrush–it wasn’t that she found using her hands tiring, more that she was afraid of something frightening suddenly leaping out from the grass.

Gou Liang answered from ahead, “In about another two minutes and forty seconds, we will reach the first resting point.”

Zhang QiaoYi: “Haha, Island Owner, you actually have the time down to the seconds?”

Gou Liang: “En, I also know that in three seconds you will trip and fall. Su Chu-Jie, take a step to the right, now’s the time–”

Right after he said this, Zhang QiaoYi suddenly stumbled as he fell to the left. Thankfully, he was able to use the tree branch in his hand to steady himself.

Everyone: “…”

Ming Xing, who had seen everything clearly from the back: “…Island Owner, are you from the crow family?”

He ChongFeng who was the tallest among them turned his head, his gaze— absent of any warmth— accurately landed on Ming Xing.

The latter: “…For a wild newbie star from outside, you’re actually treating your older cousin like this. My heart is wounded!”

He ChongFeng: “Take care of yourself, don’t cause inconvenience for others.”

Ming Xing was moved by the first half of the sentence but wilted after hearing the cruel truth of reality.

Zhang QiaoYi patted his chest to calm his fright and said, “Luckily I was on guard after the island owner’s warning; otherwise, if I fell into the grass, I’d be disfigured. But you’re walking at the very front, how did you know I would fall?”

“I can tell from the sound.” Gou Liang watched them through the system monitor and said, “Take this as a learning experience; don’t just look left and right, you also have to watch the ground below you.”

Ming Xing quietly muttered, “Since you heard it, why didn’t you say so? Are you waiting for people to fall&#k2026;?”

“That’s because I was worried that with your IQ you wouldn’t be able to comprehend hidden dangers. But now you’ll remember to watch your feet, isn’t that right?” Gou Liang’s smiling voice entered his ears, causing Ming Xing to open his eyes wide in disbelief. “Is this how newbie stars talk to their seniors these days? Do you have ears everywhere?”

Gou Liang: “Didn’t the director say when you’re here you shouldn’t offend me? Could it be that you’ve never passed your elementary school’s reading comprehension?”

Ming Xing: “…Little Cousin, help!”

He ChongFeng lifted his hand to rub Gou Liang’s head, his eyes carrying a trace of a smile as he said, “We have to be more tolerant towards those with less intelligence.”

Gou Liang smiled sweetly, “As you bid, Male God! Are you tired? Let me carry instead~”

“No need, pay attention to your own safety.”

“Rest assured, la, although this is my first time here, there’s no road on this island that I haven’t memorized perfectly.”

Everyone: What do you mean this is your first time here?!

As the two talked, Gou Liang smiled and said, “We’re here.”

Su Chu’s focus was on something else. She looked at her watch and said, “…It really only took two minutes and thirty eight seconds.”

Using the tree branch to push aside the last patch of weeds opened up a wide horizon that was a refreshing change of scenery for their eyes!

Rugged rocks appeared before their eyes; they saw a large plain of rocky earth with numerous small plants growing from it. The area up ahead led to a towering forest, while on the right were beautiful flower fields followed by gentle hills. On the left side was a large and upright boulder. If you climbed on top of it, you would be able to see the wide ocean, a view so stunning it would leave you breathless.

Ming Xing and the others found the scenery to be novel. As they looked around, they used their holo cameras to let the audience see more of the beautiful landscape. Gou Liang helped He ChongFeng wipe off his sweat before turning around to address the group, “Everyone, quickly assemble, in a few minutes it’s going to rain, we have to set up the tents first.”

Everyone looked up to the bright sun that was illuminating a sky with no clouds to be seen for thousands of miles. “…”

Zhang QiaoYi, who had already fallen victim once, was the first to react; the others reluctantly set aside the beautiful scenery with some unwillingness and started to look for a spot to set up their tents.

Gou Liang and He ChongFeng very quickly selected an optimum location. After setting up their tent, they arranged the two-person sleeping bag, which Gou Liang had brought with meaningful intentions, and placed down their bags before coming out to help—they saw that the other three males were all helping the only girl in the group to set up her tent.

When Gou Liang looked at the location that they’d chosen, he knew that Cheng Bei, who had picked the site, was indeed a professional. He ChongFeng walked over and said, “Cheng-Ge, Little Fool and I will set up this tent, you should first pick out a good spot for yourself and Zhang-Ge.”

Ming Xing asked pitifully, “What about me?”

He ChongFeng didn’t even turn his head around. “You wait.”

Ming Xing: “Ying.”

Gou Liang said, “There isn’t much time left. If you don’t want to be soaked by the rain then speed up, oh.”

Ming Xing immediately refuted, “Who knows if it really will rain. Are you a deity who can tell fortunes with your palms?”

Gou Liang raised his brow. “Say, if I ask Male God to not set up your tent, will he help you?”

Before Ming Xing could reply, He ChongFeng already opened up his mouth to say, “No need to ask, won’t.”

As Ming Xing wallowed in sadness from the taste of defeat, Su Chu smiled and asked, “Island Owner, I have long heard of your name but this is the first time we’ve met ba. Quickly tell me, you and My Feng, what’s your relationship, ah? Help fulfill this senior’s curiosity, ma!”

Gou Liang worked on building the tent while saying, “He’s my male god, I like him, ah!”

Su Chu said, “He’s also my male god, I also like him, ah, but why is he only good to you?”

Gou Liang rubbed his chin. “This question, I also don’t know the answer. Hm, why doesn’t Su Chu-Jie help me ask Male God?”

Su Chu: “…Actually, I’m not all that curious, hahaha.”

She was afraid of Male God but Ming Xing wasn’t, he huddled next to He ChongFeng asking this, asking that and if He ChongFeng didn’t answer, he would even chastise him.

He Chongfeng: “If you say even another punctuation more, then you can take care of your tent yourself.”

Ming Xing silently pinched his mouth shut, not saying another word.

As everyone was bustling about, suddenly the sound of thunder resounded from the sky. A large patch of gray clouds was heading towards them at a rapid pace–

Ming Xing, who was startled into jolting, immediately hastened his hands.

When Gou Liang and He ChongFeng finally finished setting up MingXing’s tent, the sky was already stormy and black. Not waiting for them to each return to their tents, raindrops the size of peas had already come crashing down. He Chongfeng grabbed Gou Liang and broke into a run, stuffing Gou Liang into the tent before coming in himself. Under the assault of the fierce wind, he closed up the tent with Gou Liang.

Gou Liang almost couldn’t resist the urge to push him down, but remembered the holo broadcast camera that he had to carry on him at all times. Right now their every movement was being watched by the public, so he could only suppress his desires.

On the other hand, He ChongFeng didn’t care that much. Raising his hand to wipe his face that was wet from the rain, he crouched and opened the bag to search for a towel.

Outside, the rain beat against the tent making ‘papapa’ noises, Gou Liang crouched beside He ChongFeng, lifting his head to let the other wipe the water from his face while smilingly saying, “Male God, Male God, you’re so good to me.”

======《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》Holo Broadcast, Day 1 · Rainstorm on Wilderness Island ↓↓======

Other than the broadcast cameras carried by the six main characters, the production crew had also placed cameras around the island.

At this moment, the audience was watching this rainstorm that had come so whimsically. The dark clouds hung low as if engulfing the entire island, and amidst the flash of lightning and sounds of thunder, the four tents weathering the torrential rain seemed incomparably pitiful.

Cheng-Laoshi had first helped Zhang-Leader build his tent, so he didn’t have time to set up his own tent. As a result, the two of them were currently sharing a tent. They sipped hot water and chatted with each other. Since there was the company of another person, they weren’t really afraid.

My Feng was together with the Island Owner. After they helped wipe each other’s faces, they took out various boxes of delicacies from the Island Owner’s bag and began a gourmet food broadcast, not at all bothered by the rain outside. It was as if they were in their own separate worlds.

The audience wanted to watch more, but the camera perspective had already switched to the Teddy Lord and Goddess.

The broadcast was split into two screens, they saw from up close the two lonely figures who were hugging themselves in their tents...

“My goddess’s face has been scared white. My heart aches so much!”

“Liu-Jie, bring our little teddy home, ba! Wuwuwu, this odd place, it rains when you say rain and the lightning flashes so close, even this baby is scared to death, not to mention my Xing!”

The goddess’s courage was a bit bigger in comparison; she remembered that she was broadcasting. Hugging her knees she said, “I know you guys can hear me speaking, although I can’t hear you guys, but you can’t leave me to be alone here, ah. Who can help me check where the lightning is? It won’t strike me, ba. My face is so pretty; if it gets ruined like this I will cry.”

They rushed to comfort her. “Goddess, don’t be afraid! We’re all here for you!” “Goddess, Goddess, the lightning is very far from you, don’t be afraid!”

The teddy lord was much more unconstrained, he continuously yelled, “Is anyone there, ah! Someone answer me, ah!”

“hhh For some reason I want to laugh! I am a professional poop shoveler, I swear!”

“My Xing is actually frightened to the point he forgot he’s broadcasting 2333”

“But it’s really quite scary, ah. Although I know I’m only watching a broadcast, I’m still looking out the window from under my blankets, afraid that a lightning will strike me.”

“Patting my teddy, poor child, even his fur is raised from fright.”

“That’s right ah, My Xing didn’t yell to go home, that is already very impressive!”

The teddy lord didn’t yell to go home, what he yelled was, “Cousin! He ChongFeng!!! Island Owner!! I know you guys can hear me!! One of you come over, ah, any one of you! Don’t leave me here! What kind of inauspicious place is this? Just a moment ago it was still fine, but thunder comes when you call it and rain comes when you say it will rain! Cousin, come here quickly! I won’t ever tattle-tell to Auntie again, saying that you’ve bullied me! Quickly come, I can’t handle this by myself–”

Audience: I really didn’t want to laugh, hahahahaha!

======《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》Holo image of the scene, Day 1 ↓↓======

He ChongFeng listened to the faint wails of Ming Xing through the howling wind and rain. He asked Gou Liang, “Little Fool, when is the rain going to stop?”

Gou Liang happily ate the pickled lemons that were a perfect blend of salty and sour. He said, “It’ll probably continue for another ten or so minutes before clearing.”

He ChongFeng nodded his head. He made up his mind to not bother with Ming Xing.

When the rain stopped, Ming Xing was the first to rush outside. He grabbed He ChongFeng and said, “Cousin, I want to be in the same tent as you! I don’t want to sleep alone!”

He ChongFeng tossed aside his hands and said mercilessly, “You’re turning thirty this year, not three.”

Ming Xing’s eyes were moist; he had really been scared badly just now. Indignantly, he pointed to Gou Liang and said, “Then why can he share a tent with you?!”

He ChongFeng: “He’s younger than you by ten years.”

Ming Xing: “…What’s so great about being younger!”

Gou Liang raised his head and said, “Senior, restrain your grief and accept your fate, ba

Ming Xing’s fur was ruffled in anger, but no one paid him any mind. They were all helping Cheng Bei build his tent.

Zhang QiaoYi said, “Island Owner, what should we do next?” Right now he had completely submitted to Gou Liang; he decided to follow the director’s instructions, he would hug the island owner’s big thigh and not let go!

“You can go find things to eat now.” As Gou Liang said this, he tilted his head, then continued, “Oh right, I said this before, ba. On this island, only this spot is the safest. If you’re alone, it’s best if you don’t leave this area. Also, memorize this plant; it’s poisonous and can’t be eaten, so normally there will be no snakes, bugs, or rats within the vicinity of this plant. If you’re going out, remember to keep some on your person. Since it just rained, all the little animals will be very active, so take extra care, oh.”

Everyone stared at the plant growing in between stone cracks before reaching out to pluck some.

Cheng Bei stopped Ming Xing who wanted to pluck all the grass within the area. “Leave some for later!”

Zhang QiaoYi reacted and said, “Island Owner, you meant for us to forage for things to eat, but what about you?”

Gou Liang made a sound in surprise, “Don’t you guys know? I brought stuff to eat. Wu, it’s just enough for me, Male God, and Su Chu-Jie to have a meal. As for you guys, I wish you all the best.”

Su Chu was greatly moved. “I actually have a share, thank you Island Owner! Long live Island Owner!”

Ming Xing & Zhang QiaoYi & Cheng Bei：o(>_<)o

No matter how Ming Xing kept emphasizing how little he ate, that he only needed two bites, even one bite will do, ah, in the end he was still kicked out of the tent by Gou Liang, who had food aggression.

Su Chu sent the other out with her eyes. Concerned, she said, “They’re going out just like this, will it really be fine?”

Gou Liang shrugged and said, “With Cheng-Laoshi there, it should be fine.”

Su Chu: “…Should be? Somehow I feel even more worried now, what to do?”

When He ChongFeng set out the food, she immediately spoke no further, her eyes full of stars as she said, “I’ve also watched Island Owner’s gourmet food broadcast before. Unexpectedly the smell is even more fragrant than I imagined. The taste must also be superb!”

Meanwhile, Gou Liang was scolding He ChongFeng, saying, “I told you we should’ve brought the fried chicken; fried chicken is the best for rainy days!”

He ChongFeng calmly looked at him. “The rain has stopped.”

Gou Liang: “…humph.”

Su Chu had already started eating impatiently. She said, “You guys are very close. Have you known each other for a long time?”

Gou Liang: “I’ve been a fan of his for many years, however, he’s only known me for about a month or so, ba?”

He ChongFeng: “It’s 59 days.”

Beaming, Gou Liang despite knowing the answer said, “It turns out that even before I joined the crew, Male God has been silently watching me, ya!”

He ChongFeng didn’t answer. They started to eat.

After they had finished eating in contentment, the other three people still hadn’t returned; thus they agreed to walk around to enjoy the scenery.

======《Seeking Survival on Wilderness IslandHolo Broadcast, Day 1 · The first lunch↓↓======

“Ah!!!!!”

The person who was screaming until their throat was broken, startling the melon-seed-eating audience to the point that their souls threatened to leave their body wasn’t the teddy lord who always caused trouble— rather, it was the reliable and steady Cheng-Laoshi!

The broadcast perspective left the scene of the lovely afternoon meal of My Feng and group. Replacing the screen was a flat-headed snake raising its head and sticking out its tongue—

“Ah ah ah ah!”

The broadcast was flooded with sounds of screaming.

Many people had fallen off their chairs in shock.

“Director, what in the world are you doing!”

“Oh my god, scared me into wetting my pants, wuwuwu!”

“What kind of plot twist is this!”

“This scare came so unexpectedly my heart had stopped for three seconds!”

“Is Cheng-Laoshi alright? Was my Xing frightened?”

“Where’s my Qiao-Leader ne?”

“Ah, this place is too dangerous. Mommy is calling me home!”

“Holy shit, this is really putting your life on the line to broadcast. Scared this baby to death!”

……

The complexions of Cheng-Laoshi, Zhang-Leader, and Teddy were all especially pale. But out of everyone’s expectations, at this moment it was actually Teddy who was the calmest.

“Don’t be afraid, right now it has no intentions of attacking us. Let’s retreat quietly… that’s right, be quiet with your footsteps, don’t let it feel threatened.”

“Right, right, I have miracle grass on me! Island Owner, please watch over me. God, Buddha, the Holy Virgin Mary, please watch over me…” Zhang-Leader clenched the grass in his hand. He was frightened to the point of forgoing any acting for the screen. Cheng-Laoshi also held his breath…

When they slowly retreated from the snake’s world and returned to the camping site, they collectively let out a sigh in relief.

“Ao, that was so scary just now!”

“Island Owner watch over me… Haha, who knew the leader was actually such a superstitious person XD.”

“As My Feng and his group watched beautiful scenery, Teddy and group were met with a snake, this is the harsh disparity of life ah…”

“My Xing was so amazing! So brave!!”

Before the voices on the bullet screen had even faded, they suddenly saw the teddy bolting madly as he hugged onto Island Owner-Dada,“Island Owner, save me ah!!!”

The audience: It turns out this child has delayed reactions, only now he knows to be scared. laughing-while-crying.gif

Following that, they saw My Feng mercilessly prying off his cousin, his voice grim and cold as he said, “If you dare to hug him again, I will break your legs.”

My Xing seemed to have not heard clearly, he turned and hugged onto My Feng, wailing loudly: “Little Cousin, your older cousin almost didn’t make it back!!!”

The island owner’s expression was like so：=_=|||

The first day was full of thrills and it continued on….

Mimishijie will be joining as an editor! Welcome, welcome~