DIE TRYING [A Roguelite Extraction LitRPG]

"So, the gloom direction's closed for further business." Illy said, sliding down against the wall. "Don't like how knife-ears described the beastie hunting us. And whatever it was got eaten by an even bigger puppy. Reckon we've been lucky so far not running into anything, but I wouldn't trust that kind of luck any more than your da's promise to come home."

The group remained silent, still recovering from the moment.

"Funny story," Wade said in the silence. "He actually did leave. They both did."

Illy flinched. "Ah, feck, sorry. I know I got a morbid sense of humor sometimes. Runs in the family."

"No harm done," He waved her off, it was old news to him. "If either comes home I'd be strangling them."

"Well bless me soul," Illy gave him an approving nod. "You hate your family too? Startin' to think you and I can actually get along in the future. What'd they do to get you this bloodthirsty?"

Wade shrugged. "Took out loans using the family house as collateral, maxed out credit cards using our social security numbers, and then left the country. My sister and I would have been homeless if it hadn't been for a friend and his mom." It had been somewhat manageable, they'd gotten the credit card fraud patched up, and were on the way of getting the loans off their shoulders. But then the accident happened.

"Bloody hell, Wade. That's some next-level parenting, call me after you find the cowardly shites, I'd help hide the bodies."

Wade laughed, maybe he had found good friends in the end. "And you? I think you mentioned being uh, all but disowned?"

"Technically not, that'd be undignified of them." Illy shrugged. "Less complicated than yer situation. Realized I was just a placeholder till the real heir to the family name showed up. And now I'm as useful as a cracked cooking pot to the family. Could be worse, was fourteen when my younger stepbrother was born, so plenty of time to get my own life."

They both turned to Leon next, who shrugged. "Nyet. Have loving mother and father. Little sister I love too. She turning twenty four this year, so maybe not so little now." He scratched his back sheepishly, "Ehh, sorry."

"Tch. Figures he don't have any father issues." Illy huffed with a slight smile. "Big oaf is clearly too happy in life with everything. Man's like a walking advertisement for functional families. ye send yer mum flowers overseas each month too?"

"No, no. Shipping too expensive." Leon shrugged. "I venmo friend and he does for me. Much smarter."

Wade turned to Selena next. She waggled her ears back at him. "Yes, human Wade? Do you have further questions on what I've seen thus far?"

She looked like she was keeping a brave front, but Wade could sense the feather movements by her ears was giving off nervous energy. Anxiety? "Uh, we were talking family between the group here." He pointed over to Illy, and replayed what she'd said, then Leon's side as well.

Selena blinked a few times. "My own family is a Flight. A unified chapter of moonwing elf paladins. We were excellent night hunters, with techniques unique to our flight, passed down from paladin to paladin. Certain... events have reduced the Flight's total number of active paladins downwards."

"Oh. They quit?" Wade asked.

"No. They went on a mission that was above their ability to handle. And they were unable to come back."

Oh. Right. Because they weren't retail employees. They were actual soldiers. "How many is your Flight down?"

She twitched her ears. Then muttered almost to herself, "We are... slightly under our usual numbers." She failed to lie about.

Wade could tell it was a sensitive issue just from the rest of the body language the distressed elf was sending out. The signals to stop asking those questions were pretty huge. Out of respect, he decided not to continue. But he did notice some curiosity in her features about himself.

"Ah, well, I'm a retail worker." It didn't translate well.

"Riitayl worker? Are you a monk or a soldier human Wade? I see a dagger on you, and nothing more."

"No, I work for a… shop owner, who also works for an even bigger shop." That's about as good as he could say.

There was a grimace on her features. "That does not bode well for where we are now, shop-worker Wade. Although I… congratulate you for working for a shop large enough to have sub-workers."

He didn't have the heart to tell her that was dime a dozen on earth. So instead, he turned to Illy, translated it all back.

"Feck, sounds brutal over there. She all right following us all down in this madhouse?" Illy asked.

Selena took that question differently. "Is she asking for me to leave her service?" The elf looked almost panicked at that.

"Uh no, not at all. I think she's more worried that you got yanked out here out of your home without even being asked."

"Ah I see." The feathers schooled themselves back from panic to confidence. "This is a mission handed down by the goddess Nox herself. It brings great honor to my Flight, and to myself, to serve the goddess so closely. I would not miss this mission for the world, human-Wade."

"And that's what she said." Wade said in english, back to the group. "I don't want to press her more about stuff, she seems a little cagey about it still."

Illy nodded, before turning her look over to where the golem would be waiting far off. "All right turnips, let's be serious here then. Got a lootbox to get to, and time to plan something out here. Our choices are either dash past the great metal arsehole guarding his toll road, with whatever gear we've got now. Or we ignore the lootbox and go for the sewers. Or just take our chances further down in beastie land to see what else we can scrounge up. Which I'd recommend against, doubt there's anything worth dying horribly for. We could also technically sit down here and play I-spy for another few hours until we die of hunger, but don't right agree with that plan."

"I also vote we don't go scouting the deeply creepy and clearly lethal part of this city." Wade said, raising a hand up. "Er,

more lethal

part. If the system gave us an entire quest for that thing down there, I get a feeling it's not for any regular mob. Maybe it's this world's version of a mini-boss." He looked down at his right arm. Fourteen percent body mass according to his debuff screen, a few percentage higher than before. But visibly it was clear the blackrot was taking over his arm completely while avoiding the mithril disk on his shoulder. As usual it was spreading through his veins first, making it look stark against his pale skin. "This disk is only keeping it at bay, once it's got my entire arm covered it'll push through. How about we try to get the collar done and figure out how to sneak past the border patrol after?"

There was a round of 'aye's and Illy tossed her leather bag on the floor, already opening it up. They counted the loot up, twenty disks in total plus the one in their intact light they'd been using. Hopefully more than enough to wrap around his shoulders and neck.

Selena gave him a quick stare, ears wagging slightly with a small puff-up from her cheek feathers.

"Yeah," Wade answered, absentmindedly waving her off. "The group's not sure what else is out there, better take our winnings and run with it, you know?"

Her ears bounced in mild agreement, and she turned back to watching the doorway.

"Right lads, how we doing this bit?" Illy asked, yanking out the twine. "I know a few good knots for sailing but tying a collar together isn't exactly what I trained for."

"I can do it." Leon said sitting down, inspecting one of the disks. "We make collar drape around shoulders, like egyptian usekh collars. And then use leftovers to wrap around neck region too." He pulled out the rest of the twine and handed it off to her. "Know how to braid? We needing string that is sturdy, resist wear and tear as disk move around."

"And what do I do?" Wade asked, while Illy took a seat nearby and got to work.

Leon patted the ground ahead of him. "Most important job. You standing still and be good model for sizing."

The tense atmosphere started to gradually melt as the group multitasked on getting his blackrot arm problem solved right now before they set out. Fortunately, the mithril disks were easy to work with. Screws meant they all had holes built into them already, which were good anchor points for twine. They'd made a rough string outline and now Leon was starting to affix the disks onto it

Ten minutes came and passed with little trouble outside to show for, besides a few periodic updates from Selena reporting nothing in her vision wards so far, and where the golem was. Or rather, remained.

It sat like a giant toad on the center road, waiting for food to walk up to it in the most lazy manner possible.

And with a more relaxed atmosphere, they, of course, started bickering again.

"Leon, before this numpty butted in, what were you gettin' at? About cleric necromancers in the history books?" Illy asked in the general silence as she completed another sturdy braid and handed it over. "Been wracking me brain but it's clear as mud to me. What kind of culture would have holy necromancers in them?"

"If you're that bored, we could play I-Spy." Wade suggested.

"Shut yer gob, I'm actually curious."

"You knowing mummies of egypt?" Leon said as he continued weaving the disks one at a time. "Kher-heb priests were said to recite incantatory formulas from a holy text, the book of the dead. Good example of death clerics being good and holy, see?"

Illy looked over to Wade, one eyebrow raised up wide.

"No, I don't think he's trolling us," Wade said, "Way too specific to pull out of the air."

"Yeah? And I get a feeling he's as honest as a nun in a fecking strip club. Look at his beady little eyes and tell me if you don't see deception written all over them? When would boxer get to know about Kor-hebab priest?"

"

Kher-heb.

" Leon corrected, then looked them both over, as if daring them to call him out on his bluff.

Wade looked over to her in the micro-silence. "Well, do you know if Kher-heb priests actually exist?"

"Not a lick." She turned her attention to the Russian, "Leon, did you eat a dictionary when we weren't looking?"

He gave a quiet chuckle, "I have other examples. Greeks have entire temple to necromancy, god of death Hades. And wife. Is called the Necromanteion."

"The Necromathalion? That's not a real word." Illy protested.

"

Necromanteion.

" Leon corrected. He blocked her elbow shove with a lighting fast tactical hand to her forehead, and quickly withdrew his hand right as she turned to bite the exposed fingers, chuckling to himself all the while. "Is not my fault smol devushka can't speak basic english. Maybe you eating dictionary next?"

"I'll feed

you

a cactus next." She turned to give Wade a conspitorial glance. "Little shite knows we can't fact check him. Your phone have any signal down here? Ask Siri if the Necroma-thingy is a thing."

Wade rolled his eyes. "Illy, please. Do I really look like an apple user? I've got a highly functional, budget-friendly android phone. So no Siri here, thank you."

"Should've known

that's

what you'd be fussing about first."

"Besides," Wade continued, trying to hold still as Leon measured another section around his neck. "I don't think my data goes that far."

"Typical yank cellphone coverage."

Wade took a deep breath to start refuting all of that, but Leon tapped him on the shoulder. "Stay still, bad model."

He gave a slow nod, then relaxed back into stance. "Even if they offered that kind of cross-reality data plan, do you think I'm the kind of sucker who'd buy it? Please, I'd rather die."

"Well you're swallowing Leon's pure mince like it's gospel. Ain't no way half those words are real. He's having a giggle at us, just look at his shite eating grin there."

The shit eating grin was indeed there.

"Haitian priests also said to commune with the dead." His eyes returned to focused on his work, although the smile stayed. "Houngan and Mambo, very respected village spiritual leaders. Norse also practiced seiðr in past. Ehhhhh, think shaman doing dead spirit magic. See? Many example in history. All holy and well respected leaders in their communities. I can go on."

"How'd you end up knowing that kind of stuff?" Wade asked. "You secretly a priest?"

"It's 'cause he's making it up." Illy said. "That's his source."

"Wikipedia binges." He finally looked up from his work and waggled his eyebrows at the scot. "Much easier to eat than dictionary. Less chewing."

Illy laughed, then shook her head, "Ach, piss off. Tell us the actual truth here you dobber."

"Okey, okey." He lifted his hands in mock surrender. "Truth is I take good notes. After boxing career, needed other way to stay in America. Took on sports scholarship at university, they love me. But am honors student too. So far."

"Your head fracture doesn't get in the way of that?" Wade asked.

Leon shrugged. "Track and field. They have boxing too, but..." He shrugged and put a smile back on like a mask. "I not fit in there anymore. Eye injury, can't be helped."

"Yer an honors student? In what?" Illy asked.

"Anthropology. Is very fun."

"How's a meathead like you end up in Anthropology? Scratch that, how'd you even remember half these terms?"

"I have secret technique to remembering things."

The clear

'I call bullshit

' was so perfectly etched on Illy's face, she didn't need to say a word to be understood.

"No really, watch." Leon laughed, standing up.

He took a stance, feet positioning with practiced ease, hands up by his head.

It was a boxing stance. "Staying like this help me destress, focus and feel better. I box in air, and lessons sink in. Like magic. Moving body helps mind process." He threw a few jabs forward, lightning quick. "Is funny, but always feel most at peace like this. When in ring, right before fight. Is like.." He hummed. "Comfort food. Hands next to head, whole world vanishes away. Only me and opponent. Is where I feel most alive."

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Well excuse us ser monk." Illy said, "Wade and I are having a proper slap fight in the sandpit like adults here. We don't need your fancy zen sand garden in our lot. Surprised something like an eye injury knocked you completely out of that. You really never tried again?"

His arms slowly went back down from his stance, almost reluctantly, "No. Can't be helped."

Wade looked him over. Debating. "This world's got magic, I'm looking for healing spells or gear. If I find anything, you'll be the third person I help out. If you want it?"

Leon reached a hand out and tussled Wade's hair. "Am too old now Wade, is time to move on with life. Made peace with it long time ago. But thanks for offer, may take you up on it." He sat back down to fuss over the mithril disks again. "For now, secret technique excellent for mediation, I teach you anytime."

He tugged at the mithril disk he'd just woven over Wade's shoulders. Checking it wasn't loose. Each time he added a new disk and looped it into the collar, Wade felt his blood pressure drop. It was one more scale in his defense against that invader, and he'd seen firsthand how the disks flung that thing out.

The chats continued amicably, until they returned to Selena, who remained vigilant like a professional bodyguard in the room. Silent, spear at the ready, back straight, looking over Illy to make sure her ward was always protected.

"Look I wasn't saying all vampires are evil earlier or that we can't trust her." Wade said, feeling like he had to defend himself here on his completely unsourced accusations earlier. "She could be a fallen undying warrior type thing."

"We stabbed skeletons back to the grave together. I'd trust her to keep my hair up after the pub cuts me off." The scot said, nodding to the elf with a vote of confidence.

Selena looked back, confused where the nod of approval came from, but the ear twitching showed she was happy enough to take positive reinforcement anywhere it came from.

"If she is vampire, good vampires can exist in mythology." Leon said, "Many existing already in modern books."

"...If you start bringing Twilight into this, I will stab you." Illy said, and she could summon daggers at will, which made her threat quite academically credible.

"Fine, fine. No twilight." He chuckled, "In the end, is not something to worry about. System lootbox, remember? Check wording again."

The russian had a point. Illy's lootbox scroll did say '

Soulbind one randomly selected combatant follower of your sponsor.

' None of them had any idea what soulbind meant, but it certainly sounded like a master setup. Could Selena even betray Illy in any way?

Wade considered how to test if that was true or not. But the options quickly turned morbid. "Yeah, that's not really something I'd want to test with data."

Also he was mostly certain the elf would stab him if he asked her to stab Illy.

"Right, well we aren't getting anywhere with speculation." Illy finally said, putting down her last braid into the pile. "She's right fecking there, so how about you just ask her Parseltongue. Is she a vampire or is she not? Who's Nox and what are moonwing elves. If my sponsor for the game is a blood-sucking goddess, I'd rather know earlier than later."

"Which question do you want first?"

"We both know knife-ear's isn't a vampire, start with the important questions first. Who the feck is Nox and why did she drag me into this shite."

Wade hummed and nodded, answering with the only logical follow-up: "Let's talk commission fee. Twenty dollars a question." He was expecting to haggle it down to three, but it was important to start high.

"Of all the time for your mania debuff to, ach feck, of course the yank would." Illy muttered under her breath. "I see capitalism's alive and well even when the world's ending."

Leon laughed, "No worries. I fixing this, watch."

Wade felt a slight pressure on his shoulder as Leon leaned in, securing another mithril disk to the growing collar.

"Twenty dollars a question?" The russian said, "Is good business model. But if we charging for services perhaps I charge for this collar work too, no?" He gave one of the disks a flick, where it pinged and hummed for a moment. "Professional grade craftsmanship not coming cheap these days."

Wade felt a chill of fear creep down his spine.

"Hmm, yes." Leon tapped his chin a few times, Illy giving him a thumbs up from the corner. "Maybe… twenty dollars per disk?"

Twenty per disk for a life-saving collar?! Seemed excessive.

And as he mulled over his options, Illy gave him the most sadistic grin Wade had ever seen etched on a human face. Uh oh.

"Yer offering an invaluable service to the yank here Leon, don't sell yourself short. Fifty per disk and not a quid less."

"F-fifty?" he didn't know how much a quid converted into dollars, but at that price point, Wade wondered if death by blackrot might be the more fiscally responsible choice.

"I come highly recommended." Leon said, "Have many five star yelp reviews."

His mind spiraled down the calculations on how much it'd be for fifty a disk, his head calculating like a slot machine until the spinning reels each came to a dead stop, displayed their final three answers:

Backtrack. Gaslight. Deflect.

"Oh, I think there's been a massive misunderstanding."

Backtrack

. "Obviously I wasn't serious about the twenty dollars, come on guys."

Gaslight

. "We really should focus on our survival first, money later."

Deflect

.

Illy laughed, "Wow Leon, you unscrewed his head in under a minute flat."

"As saying, I come highly recommended." He said, fussing over the collar again.

"Heads totally fine." Wade said, seeing a way out. "Just a slight lapse in judgement, water under the bridge, right guys?"

Illy waved her hand. "It's fine Yank, we both know you're a little off in the head. Where it actually counts, you showed up."

"What do you mean?"

"One thing I've learned time an' time again: Talk is just hot air. Actions are what show true mettle. You want tae know who someone is? Watch 'em make a

hard

decision. Back against those skeletons, after you'd been hauled up the ladder, ye could've scarpered. Left Leon and me behind. But you didn't." She pointed a dagger tip at him, waggling it. "You stayed. Didn't even think of running away, just lined up and started doing anything you could. I'd expect that from someone with training, but ye've got none. Just a regular civilian, up against nightmares. So have all the quirks and oddities you like, deep down inside, we already seen who ye are."

Leon held his shoulder, giving him an approving smile.

Wade saw an angel among their eyes.

"Is twenty disks, so... One thousand dollars seems fair market price, da?" Leon asked, looking over to Illy.

"Don't forget to account for taxes." She answered back. "Also up the charge a bit if he pays with a credit card."

Wade saw only Satan himself staring back from both their beady little eyes.

They both started laughing right as he audibly gulped. "Is okey, is okey," Leon said, patting him on the shoulder. "I letting you off hook, this one time."

Wade decided he was going to shut up and answer questions exactly as told. He mentally placed Leon in the '

highly dangerous and not to be messed with

' category, then put Illy in the '

spawn of satan

' bucket, and then got to work.

Selena on her part seemed to know an interrogation was on it's way the moment all three heads turned to look at her. Her steely cold eyes narrowed down on Wade. "Well? Go on and ask your questions. I can see you're discussing theories and need answers now." Her ears went flat to the side, giving one final twitch in challenge. "What is it?"

"They want to know who Nox is."

Selena looked confused for a moment, then her posture broke in relief. "Is that truly the only topic you've been debating all this while? How ridiculous, you ought to have inquired sooner." She cleared her throat against her armored hand, then adjusted her posture, elevating her chin slightly. "Nox is a lunar goddess, specifically governing the moon Equinox. Those of us who are moonwing elves consider it an honor to be in her service."

Maybe Selena was some kind of night elf subtype? Moon goddess, moonwing elves? Sounds about typical. Illy, however, had a more direct question she wanted answered, so Wade did his job. "Do you know why Nox might have thrown Illy into this world?"

Her ears waggled.

"Sorry Illy. She says she's got no idea why you're here, how you got here, how she got here, and she's very upset about it all too."

Illy nodded, "Feck. Worth trying."

"I'll ask her for more info."

"As you wish." Selena said, clearly happy to explain this particular subject when Wade inquired further. "My ancestors were originally high elves who tried to merge with wyverns and... well, the attempt wasn't successful."

"Wait, what? Wyverns?"

Least it really wasn't vampire. There was always a small chance, but he can't say he had wyverns anywhere on his bingo sheet.

She lifted her hair off her neck, showing them a particularly dense patch of shimmering blue colored feathers growing along her spine. They looked wild, untamed and split apart. Like she was having some kind of hummingbird hangover and this was the morning after.

"So… you're part wyvern?" It did explain the fangs in her mouth. "And you did this

intentionally

?"

"Not myself, however my ancestors did several centuries prior. Wyverns possess stronger resistance to mana than the elven body. A successful fusion would have theoretically manifested characteristics from both species. We could have become powerful mages capable of flight. Unfortunately, the procedure left my people deformed, handicapped, and devoid of any advantages. High elves aren't exactly welcoming to most foreigners, even among their own bloodlines, and so my people were banished from their lands."

"High elves are racist?"

"Extremely so. It was unfortunate that the mass ritual failed, however they would have faced banishment regardless, merely for participating. High elven beastkin of any kind are considered race traitors, and treated far more harshly for it."

"Deformities?" Illy asked after Wade translated. "The feck does that mean? She looks like the cover model for Plate Mail Monthly. Is she talking about the feathers on her face or something?"

"Maybe it's something internal? Or could be just having feathers anywhere is grotesque to other elves?" Wade shrugged. "I can ask her."

"You asking later," Leon said. "Last fixing for collar and then we plan for the big mudak. You telling me when tight enough, da?"

"Little less." His half-whispered out, rapidly tapping the neck piece as if tapping out of a wrestling match.

Leon obliged, "You being sure? Needs to be tight to skin. If not too tight, it not work, right?"

Perhaps his earlier attempt to fleece his team was still a little fresh in their minds. They may be the type to hold petty grudges. But they worked together until he found an acceptable amount of tightness.

"This amount okey? You sure?"

An attempt at a nod, switched to a thumbs up instead. "I can breathe and talk, I think that's all I need."

"Okey, is done then! Stand up, give it testing."

The entire thing was bulky, but with Wade's added points into strength it didn't weigh anything more than backpack straps would. Disks covered his shoulders, and draped over part of his chest and back, slowly climbing up until it circled his neck. Felt a like armor. He tried to use identify on it, but the system only returned his own name and stats.

Then Leon extended a hand out, palm up. "Two hundred fifty dollars for service please. Cash only." He gave a wink. "I give big discount, very generous."

Illy burst out laughing again, "I reckon you've done him in this time, Leon. I almost feel bad for the yank, look how pale he got all of a sudden. Let's not roast him past well-done."

"I joke, I joke, is on the house as promised." Leon shook the life back into Wade.

"Say, is it at least two hundred fifty dollars comfy?" Illy asked.

"Fuck no it's not." Wade squeaked. It did have some of Illy's cut pajama cloth stuffed in the neck regions since she was the only one who had anything remotely comfortable, and that hardly softened the feel of metal disks squeezing his throat.

But it did hold his neck sort of still, like a neck brace would. And assuming Leon actually was joking, then all the mathematics swapped from negative to positive.

Free

semi-medical neck brace for his neck issues, along with the added benefit of preventing blackrot from turning him into a magical zombie. This was a steal.

Thinking about it that way got his heart beating again from the earlier heart attack.

He looked over to Selena for confirmation this would hold the blackrot at bay. She looked it over with a critical eye, tapped a few of the mithril disks to verify they held tight, then twitched her right ear. "I'd say this should protect you for about four to five years, primarily because of the mithril quantity. The collar ropes will wear out long before the blackrot is capable of bypassing it. You are protected enough for the time being."

He was a little worried when the quest didn't mark complete, but Wade chalked it up to the collar being a temporary solution, even if temporary meant a few years. All he had to do was make sure it didn't get ripped off him.

The disks on his chest and back moved a bit as he tested his range of motion, but they were tied down under his armpits, so if he was flipped upside down or tossed around, they'd get back in position when he was right side up. The neck part was particularly snug, which was the important part.

His shifts at work would likely get real awkward with this thing under his shirt, and he'd need to constantly wear long sleeves now to hide his arm, and maybe a scarf. A look at his hands showed him trails of black veins already visible.

Damn. He'd have to buy gloves to cover that. The total mass on his debuff status page still showed it increasing over time, but for now the blackrot was isolated to his arm. "And how do I take it off or maintain it?"

"You don't." Leon said. "Will need to cut it off and remake collar again."

"You were gonna make me pay two hundred fifty for an

unremovable

collar? Are you out of your mind?!"

"Don't whine about it too much ya muppet." Illy slapped his shoulder, "I reckon when future you doesn't need that collar anymore, only thing that'll make you happier is finding a clean toilet after a five-hour bus ride."

"That sounds oddly specific." Wade curtly said, straightening his collared shirt so it would be more flush with the mithril collar.

"Lived experience." Illy said, starting the process of packing up. "True happiness is the end of pain. Now, with that business done, we should start setting up our way across that street. Look lively lads, we've gotta solve why the chickens crossed the road, and have it end without the chicken getting stomped or shot. Anyone got any bright ideas?"

"Might have one." Wade said. "But don't think you're gonna like it."